It’s About You

1

The way you treat people is only partly for them, but mostly it’s for you. To bestowe mercy on others, to show love and compassion even to those who aren’t showing it toward you, this is for you. To not judge others harshly helps them sure, but ultimately you are made better and your growth increases. To be tolerant, and sympathetically aware of others feelings is to be understanding. We need more understanding and not fall victim to judging people without compassion because then we easily prove ourselves to be fools, and the same judgment we give, is what we will be given back. This is why it’s not just for others, but also for ourselves.

Sometimes you must step back and look at your actions as if stepping outside yourself. Stepping back and looking at the whole picture. Anyone can respect those who respect them but it takes a uniquely special individual to be kind even when other’s are not. It is not then just about how we treat those who are good to us, but also those who are not. This is what makes us special and sets us apart. What I’ve learned in life in general is to always be teachable. Not always teaching, but always teachable. You can’t think you just have it all together and be so quick to criticize and bash others. Just show love. Be merciful even when people may not deserve it, not necessarily for their sake but mostly for yourself.

Memories

nature-river-1080p-wallpaper

Nostalgia’s a nauseating

sickness

like four little girls

still trying to tear down the brick

painted on the sides

of their heads

Pocketbook scriptures still dangling

from underneath

their tongues

like a scorched covenant

under burned fingernails

still trying to get me to

remember

Truth be queasy

like first trimesters

be painful

like birth pains

I heard

a roll of thunder

and laughter more frightening

than decomposed bodies

at the bottom of bi-racial rivers

whispering

like the voice of Emmet

till when?

It asked me.

Before strings of voices erupted from some place

beyond the banks of the James River

from someplace before William Lynch’s arrival

somewhere marchin

stomping on my roots

somewhere printed on the back

of the forbidden fruit, I still

got between my teeth

a string of voices

sprung up

from the oppression

marching down the streets of Birmingham,

Chicago, Georgia, Mississippi, Harlem.

Willie Edwards,

James Chaney,

Michael Donald,

Michael Griffith,

Michael Brown,

Yusef Hawkins,

James Byrd Jr, and Trayvon Martin’s voices

sang hymns of “I told you so’s”

for my memories

like women giving birth

to still born children

Till when?

said Mr. Till.

Will you people continue to give birth

to death

still lying on the bed

of Martin’s dreams?

They sang with an authority

like rolling thunder

and butterflies in my stomach

like truth on top Moses mountain they sang

like earthquakes

cracking my memories into lynched question marks

they sang

like blood-thirsty whales behind slave ships

like ripping flesh

torn open

with Hebrew scriptures

in their veins

they sang

like diseases written into the sky

and prison chains

their voices roared

like a million I told you so’s they sang

like voices do

and they asked me a question

but their words

were few

Till when?

Screamed the segregated

Set-apart

and unequal lungs

of Emmett

Till when?

He sang.

Like the lyrics of Deuteronomy

carried up

Till when will Malcolm,

Booker T.

and Martin King

still dream

before

they wake up?

Herbs and Vitamins for Healthy Teeth

Important health information from Henrietta. My sister-in-law and me were just talking about how most people ignore the fact that unhealthy teeth is directly related to heart conditions.

Henrietta Watson's avatarAll About Writing and more

Our modern diet has caused many of us to become deficient in certain minerals and our teeth can become adversely affected. Cavities in children and people of all ages are being linked to nutritional deficiencies. Most of us take for granted that we are getting enough of the needed minerals in our diet. That assumes that everyone knows the importance of minerals for our health and wellbeing.
Much of our farmed soil has become depleted and the majority of people cannot afford a completely organic diet. Combined with dietary choices based on taste rather than health, it is easy to see how these nutritional deficiencies can occur.
Phytic Acid Locks Up Essential Minerals
Phytic acid is a substance commonly found in most grains, nuts and beans. It has the ability to bind to minerals in your body, just like a magnet. This process removes the minerals before they get a…

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Indie Author Support: Are You Harmful or Helpful?

This post came, literally, out of nowhere. In no way did I intend on taking an hour out of my schedule to write this post, but I wanted to share this article that was delivered to my email and get some feedback on it. It’s a great conversation starter.

http://www.creativindie.com/the-cardinal-sin-of-self-publishing/

According to Derek, the cardinal sin of self-publishing is hubris: foolish pride or dangerous over-confidence.

In brief, Derek explains how many Self-Published authors destroy their own success by getting too excited about their book and being rigid and inflexible.

I also took the time to read through the comments, which were just as interesting as the article. One comment in particular caught my attention:

“But, another factor, aside from the lack of ability of some to admit that they don’t know what they’re doing, is influence. The wrong kind. Authors are usually around other authors online, and the fact is, very few will tell their fellow authors that their covers suck, that their manuscript is not polished, that their blurbs are confusing, that the book needs major editing – an author cannot get honest feedback from their peers. Feedback which could help them improve. Maybe this happens because most authors don’t welcome negative feedback themselves – so they don’t give it. The result is, a mediocrity virus goes around, contaminating those around it.” – Eeva Lancaster

Whew! That’s a mouthful, but is she wrong? I’d love your feedback on this.

I get a small taste of this reviewing books. Though people are always respectful to me personally, it doesn’t take much to see when someone didn’t like how you felt about the book. You can sense it in the watered down thank you they give you or smell it in the silent treatment (where you never hear from that author again, nor are you on the receiving end of their support).

I’ve also seen poor work highly promoted, especially book covers that are not very pleasing to the eye (to the point where I am not interested in reading the book). We promote these books like they are NYT Bestsellers because these are our friends and we may not want to crush them by admitting “the person who did that book cover messed you up”. I mean, you wouldn’t say it like that but you get my point. Friends don’t hurt friends but such a thing feeds into Eeva’s point.

I’m not one to judge. I know that book cover design is expensive and I’ve had my own experience with mediocre looking covers. In addition, I’m a big advocate of treating others the way that I myself would want to be treated. Would I want you to publish your one and two-star reviews of my book and bring my rating down? Of course not so I don’t do the same to the books I read. I do, however, provide honest feedback (as promised) privately through email.

Still, for the everyday readers who purchase books and leave reviews, there is something genuine about those reviews when you read them that let’s you know the reader is being real. Readers don’t feel obligated to say something nice about a book because they know the author. They just keep it all the way real. Is this how it should be?

I think so but to an extent. I’m also a huge advocate for professionalism. Everything should be done with as much excellence as our time can afford. People are just not respectful. Period. While reviewers should be honest, I also think tact goes a long way. Criticism sandwiched between two soft pieces of bread goes a long way.

A lot of people also don’t understand the books they read. The first time I read Beowulf it was boring. I was also just in High School and had no clue as to what I was reading. I was just reading to get a grade pretty much. Meanwhile, boredom oozed from every page I turned. It was painful. Today however, because I understand the book, I find it intriguing and deep. Tell you another quick story.

In 2006, I went to the movies to watch Dreamgirls when it released. I was eighteen or nineteen years old. Anyway, I complained about the music. “It’s too much music in this movie”, I said. The lady behind me promptly put me in check, “It is a musical.” It sounded harsh to my young ears but she was right. Dreamgirls is a musical so there will be lots of music. The point? A lot of people don’t understand the books they read. If you’re reading erotica don’t complain there’s too much sex. That’s kind of the point.

And so, the question remains, in our quest to support each other, are we helping or hindering? Here’s Derek’s reply to the comment:

“There’s a common problem in self-publishing, that authors help each other and support each other (great) but also reaffirm misleading beliefs or ideologies that can be harmful (bad).” – Derek Murphy

That’s deep and I myself cannot honestly say that Derek does not have a point.

One of the disclaimers we reviewers use for book reviews is: “…in exchange for an honest review…”

(My disclaimer message will change. I will now be using the following disclaimer: ‘I received a copy of this book as a gift from the author’ will be the message that accompany each review instead of ‘I received this book free in exchange for an honest review’. To learn more about why I am making this change, read Debby’s most excellent article about cleaning up your Amazon links HERE.)

But, back to the point. We, reviewers, say, “…in exchange for an honest review..” but, are we being honest? Furthermore, how does one display honesty respectfully? Surely there’s no way to not hurt someone’s feelings. It’s inevitable and since people have so many different ways of thought, who knows what they may consider disrespectful. My thoughts is that everyone should just be as respectful but as honest as possible but I want to hear from you.

In our efforts to be supportive, are we helping each other by providing valuable feedback or hindering each other by sugarcoating the truth?

What are your thoughts?

No Whining Wednesday – The Silver Lining

The No Whining Wednesday Badge
The No Whining Wednesday Badge

Remember, it’s no whining Wednesday! The one day of the week where you do not get to Whine, Complain, or Criticize. Is this your first NWW? Check out the first post for details on what it’s about. Click Here.

Our inspiring quote for today is about the Silver Lining. But first, what is the silver lining?

Silver Lining – Use the term silver lining when you want to emphasize the hopeful side of a situation that might seem gloomy on the surface. The common expression “every cloud has a silver lining” means that even the worst events or situations have some positive aspect. (Google)

Today, I want you to look for the silver lining. If you come across a situation or feel yourself complaining, I want you to actively and consciously look for the good in that situation (however bad it may be). If you look for it, I am sure you will find it.

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