Protecting Your Digital Space

Photo by Monstera

After going back and forth with someone on TikTok who tried to come for me and didn’t know what she was talking about, I eventually concluded she was a troll and shall be blocked.

And then I thought, why don’t we do this more often? Why do we sit in fruitless debates with people who have proven themselves unworthy of our time?

And then I thought, why aren’t we more protective of our space in the digital world? Would you let someone come into your house, sit down and disrespect you to your face? So why do we allow people to come on our pages and blogs, sit in the comment section, and talk to us crazy?

I don’t know where we got this idea that we have to accept all the energy that comes our way on these social media sites, but that block button is there for a reason. That unfriend/delete button is there for a reason, and it is not only okay but necessary to make good use of them.

Protecting our digital space means establishing boundaries around our online presence. You don’t have to tolerate trolls and people who just want some attention.

“My platforms are my digital real estate, and I try to take the trash out on my properties. I block, report as spam, and mute as I deem necessary.”

Luvvie Ajayi Jones

These social media platforms might not be 100% in our control, but those things we can control, we should. We can turn off notifications if they become too much. We can block people for disrespecting us. We can even ask for certain content to be censored. We have the power to moderate what we want to occupy our energy fields.

Healthy debates are welcomed, where both parties are mature enough to listen to different perspectives to bring clarity. But online things go left quickly because people hide behind keyboards. Much of what people say here, they wouldn’t say, looking you in the eye. For that, we have to be even more diligent about establishing boundaries.

No, people cannot talk to you any way they want, and you do not have to keep them around so they can suck up all your energy.

As we go into the new month, remember that trees shed their leaves for a reason. Everything in nature is getting rid of the old to embrace the new. We should too.

Bless those who shall be blessed and block those who shall be blocked.

8 Basic Tips for Social Media Etiquette

anete-lusina-609857-unsplash

On social media, everything is a part of your brand and is an extension of you. People don’t know you personally so all they have to work with is the vibes you give off. From the way that you send emails, your blog posts, your social media posts and newsletters, everything. What you publish reveals who you are and can tell people one or two things. Either you’re a nasty, disrespectful person or you’re a kind, respectful person. It doesn’t take much to show others respect and appreciation and it may also grant you a follower, or more, a supporter for life. Below are some basic actions we can implement to help to keep our respect levels at an all-time high.

Give Thanks

When someone reblogs or pingbacks on one of your posts, say thank you. It really just takes a second. Although the person probably didn’t share your post to look good, everyone likes to be appreciated. This same thing applies to any social media sharing. When others share your work, thank them. They didn’t have to do it.

Respond to Comments

When someone leaves a comment on your blog or social media in general, respond back. Let them know you see their support and you appreciate it. Remember, no one has to say anything to you so acknowledge those who do.

Use Names

It only takes a second to navigate to the person’s avatar and discover what their name is. You can see some people’s names with their comment profile but for some, you may have to visit their blog to see their real name. Taking a few seconds out of your day to go the extra mile is a form of respect. Using the person name also makes it more personable and shows you really mean it. It makes the other person feel good inside that you took the time to learn their name.

Follow their Blog, Twitter, IG, Like their FB pages, etc

If you really connect with someone, show that you are interested in learning more about them and their work by following their social media pages. You can learn a lot about a person, or at least glimpse who they are, by following them on social media.

Participate

How will we know you’re not just some robot follower or someone following to get a follow back? Through your level of participation. When following someone on social media, don’t just follow and become a ghost. Participate. Retweet their pinned tweet or something they are promoting. Thank them if they retweet something of yours and share their information with your audience as you would like them to do for you.  Like some of their Facebook posts. You don’t have to become a stalker but remember, actions speak louder than words. Show you’re a real person by genuinely participating.

Don’t Be Disrespectful

A wise person once said, don’t burn your bridges. I am sure we’ve all heard this before. The saying suggests that you never know who you will need later in life and where you will have to go so don’t cut off what could possibly connect you to something greater on the other side. Don’t burn down your bridge. Understand that there will be differences in opinions and it’s OK to disagree. In fact, I am all for being firm and standing your ground, but don’t allow someone to get you so upset that you are out of character and are being disrespectful in a way you can’t come back from.

Remember that people are not dumb. Even through texting and social media we can still tell when someone’s being “smart” and condescending. Using all caps, exclamation marks, and publishing blog posts indirectly talking to other bloggers are all signs that you are angry and will not be missed by your fellow peers. They may find this behavior childish and disrespectful and you could lose a good supporter forever. It is possible to disagree with someone and leave them with their dignity.

Ask Questions and Never Assume

We have a duty, especially on social media, to communicate our wants and needs with anyone we share personal space with. This includes blogging and social media. People’s lives are busy and you never know what someone is going through. If there’s something you don’t understand, something that needs clarity, or if you yourself want to clarify something, be sure to communicate effectively and ask questions when needed. Never,  make assumptions and be clear that you are dealing with 100% factual information. Anything that is spoken about in anger that is not reflective of the truth can turn potential clients / readers / supporters off. It means you didn’t even have the decency to verify your information before attacking them.

Always ask questions and never make assumptions. Also, if someone asks you a question, try your best to answer it. If you don’t know the answer swallow your pride and admit you don’t know (no one knows everything). But don’t leave the question hanging in the air. It could be read as a sign of disrespect.

Don’t Disrespect Your Spouse / Loved Ones on Social Media

The way you treat those closets to you speaks volumes about who you are. If you talk about your husband or wife in a way that is nasty it doesn’t just embarrass him/her, it also embarrasses you. It brings shame to your household and makes you look childish and unkind. Never, ever, disrespect the one you love in public either by revealing personal matters or cursing them out on social media. This is especially shameful if you’re a writer or businessperson. Who wants to support someone who demeans the people they love so effortlessly? Not me.

Be careful how you talk to people online. Emails, personal DMs and phone calls are ways you can reach out to people privately if you have  pressing issues. (These are also good ways to communicate if you see someone doing something wrong and feel they need correction. Sometimes people just need to be educated, not demeaned.) Respect starts at home. Give it to your household first and then give it to others.

 

What about you? Are there any other ways of being respectful in the blog / social media world we can add to this list?? Let me hear yours!

It’s About You

1

The way you treat people is only partly for them, but mostly it’s for you. To bestowe mercy on others, to show love and compassion even to those who aren’t showing it toward you, this is for you. To not judge others harshly helps them sure, but ultimately you are made better and your growth increases. To be tolerant, and sympathetically aware of others feelings is to be understanding. We need more understanding and not fall victim to judging people without compassion because then we easily prove ourselves to be fools, and the same judgment we give, is what we will be given back. This is why it’s not just for others, but also for ourselves.

Sometimes you must step back and look at your actions as if stepping outside yourself. Stepping back and looking at the whole picture. Anyone can respect those who respect them but it takes a uniquely special individual to be kind even when other’s are not. It is not then just about how we treat those who are good to us, but also those who are not. This is what makes us special and sets us apart. What I’ve learned in life in general is to always be teachable. Not always teaching, but always teachable. You can’t think you just have it all together and be so quick to criticize and bash others. Just show love. Be merciful even when people may not deserve it, not necessarily for their sake but mostly for yourself.

8 Ways to Convince Book Bloggers To Review Your Book #wrtr2wrtr

Yes, yes, and yes! Be sure to familiarize yourself with that blogger’s review policy before submitting your request and FOLLOW their instructions. And yes, I do review books : )

*Comments disabled. Pls respond to original post*

Post Quote:

“Book bloggers actually do want to review your book! But we don’t have a lot of time so when you forget to include vital information or don’t follow the submission instructions, your requests end up in the trash bin.”

Words Can Inspire the World

Source

Book bloggers actually do want to review your book! But we don’t have a lot of time so when you forget to include vital information or don’t follow the submission instructions, your requests end up in the trash bin. Here are 8 ways to convince me—and other book bloggers—to review your book:

There’s no reason to pile on and make your request email an epic read – that’s your novel’s job. When approaching reviewers keep your request on point. Give each blogger exactly what they ask for – no more, no less. Remember, we get lots of emails and the easier you make it for us, the greater your chance of acceptance. Here’s what should always be included.

1. Reviewer’s name: Guess what? You may have to read through the blog a bit to find it. Check contact information. Read all the way to the bottom of submission guidelines…

View original post 706 more words

A Way To End The Year

I did not intend on writing another post this year. I am preparing for travel this week and getting into major promotion mode for the third installment of The Stella Trilogy. That is until I checked my email and thought, what better way to end the year than to be nominated for your 10th Blog Award?

The funny thing is that I was contemplating whether or not to go on and participate in Blog Awards in 2016. Rarely if ever do I obey the rules and they do take up a bit of time. However, when Kenyc (Ken-niece) McCoy of Soprano Musings nominated me for The Sunshine Blog Award, I remembered how timely these things always are and that maybe I can keep them going for a little while longer but we will have to see. Blog Awards do tend to keep me aware of where I stand with my followers which I think is very important. If nothing else, it is always such great timing when fellow bloggers nominate us (Us as in “The PBS Blog” so yes, that includes you). Just when I wonder what to write about next, if the posts are worth it, or if anyone is really paying attention, it is at these moments when someone comes through with a Blog Award. I take it as a personal reminder that it is not all in vain.

sunshine-blogger-award

So I just want to give a big thank you to Kenyc for nominating this blog for The Sunshine Blog Award!

7 Facts About Myself:

I feel like I’ve been through this sooo many times that this time around I decided to go a little more in depth about some facts about me:

  • I don’t celebrate holidays and ask to respectfully be excluded from any happy holiday wishes
  • Though my career of choice require I do a lot of public speaking, I am actually very introverted at heart.
  • I am very passionate about the state of Black America, its history, and culture
  • I have been known to behave beyond my age so its no surprise that my husband is nine years older than I am
  • I won my first poetry award when I was a freshman in High School and wrote plays performed by my High School for three years
  • People who don’t know me tend to think that I am mean. That’s because I can be forthcoming in my verbal delivery. Though it is never my intent to be offensive, I will never sugar coat the truth and try my best to keep it real with everyone, giving to each the same measure of respect
  • I would really like to visit Germany one day!

#8: Respect Award

file(5)

Thank you Lisa for paying it forward, as you always do, by nominating me for my 8th Blog Award, The Respect Award. I am truly honored about this award in particular because it’s something I strive to extend everywhere I go. I do not hesitate to give and it sometimes perplexes people but it is real. I’ll give you the shirt off my back if need be because that’s just the kind of person I am and its not fabricated. I strive to keep it real at all times and to give the same kindness and the same peace to everyone around me while at the same time remaining firm. I am kind but I am not naïve , thus discipline and firmness is just as critical to me as being a peacemaker only because these are the qualities of a good leader. In short, I appreciate you appreciating me and I hope that I can continue to display the same kindness to all of my bloggers in general; those who follow this blog today and on into the future.

Here’s a little history on The Respect Award:

The Respect Award was created by Robert Goldstein, who says:

Clarion Alley 2012
Clarion Alley 2012

“The “Respect” Award is my personal award for fellow bloggers who consistently reach out to other bloggers, offer support, are kind, struggle to understand differences in people, and who treat themselves and other people with kindness and respect. You don’t have to do anything for this award. You can choose to copy the Award Picture and give the award to the people who have earned your respect or you can do nothing. This is my way of saying thank you. You have earned my respect.”