“You Can Do It Sis”

Quick story.

I was in the city on this beautiful, warm day, and I wanted to get a pic by the water but I wasn’t sure if I could make that lil jump without getting wet. I was going to say, “that’s okay,” when a young lady behind me says, “you can do it, sis!” I turned around, jumped and made it. This had me thinking about the importance and ease of what it means to support one another. It doesn’t always have to be something grandiose, flowers and sparkles and rainbows. Doesn’t always require us to be present either or taking professional pictures. Nope. Support is simple and requires us to do nothing but go the extra mile for one another. This young woman’s comment blessed my soul, made me smile and gave me the courage to “jump,” and she didn’t have to do it. She could have let me go about my way. She could have shaken her head or said something smart under her breath. She could have easily judged me. Instead, she empowered me. No celebrity status needed, no large crowd around us, no audience, nothing but the hot sun on our faces and the opportunity to get a cute pic because we felt beautiful today, like the weather was. And just like I don’t have to publish this post, I will. I will go the extra mile like someone did for me and return the love.

Whatever you want to do, do it. Don’t worry about what people will think or failure. Let faith lead you. Make the jump. Leap. “You can do it sis/bro!”

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On Soft Hearts

Do not ask me not to care. I will care anyway. I will wonder why the flower doesn’t bloom. Why its petals are dry. Why is there a flower falling to pieces for lack of moisture? I will wonder about the soil and the colors in the sky. I will mourn with those who are sad, rub empathy on the wounds of those who are bruised. I will care about people who probably won’t think twice about me. I will take this heart of flesh and show them that I am hurt too and I too have been trampled upon. Here, see the holes and scars on my skin. But we don’t have to let our hearts grow cold or build walls that are too high for people to climb. When everyone’s a savage, do not be afraid to be soft. There’s got to be someone in this chaotic world who can show proof that there can still be love, after war.

31 Years, 31 Life Lessons

Me having fun in Raleigh North Carolina #Travels

I am officially on vacation. This means that I am doing my favorite thing: traveling. I had a ball in North Carolina and my next stop is Alabama to visit the Legacy Museum: From Enslavement to Mass Incarceration. I also just had a birthday. Since I turned 31, I thought of 31 life lessons I’ve learned to date. Some of them I am still working on (like my patience) but they are lessons life has taught me were important nonetheless:

  1. Always put Yah and Yahoshua first. YAH is faithful. He can and he will.
  2. Be yourself. People don’t have to like you and you don’t have to care.
  3.  If it doesn’t feel right that’s because it’s not right.
  4. Remember, the more you know, the less you speak. Sometimes the loudest one in the room is also the weakest one in the room.
  5. Watch everything. Let nothing go over your head. Listen to body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. Hear everything people don’t say in words.
  6. Establish boundaries, let people know what those boundaries are and remind them when they have transgressed them.
  7. No is a complete sentence. You are allowed to turn down a commitment without feeling guilty about it.
  8. Marriage is sacred. Protect it. Remember that everything doesn’t belong on social media. Learn to experience something beautiful and tell no one.
  9. New beginnings. It’s never too late to begin again.
  10. Love all. Trust few.
  11. Be patient with yourself.
  12. Call your mother. You only get one.
  13. Pay attention to yourself. Your actions reveal your heart.
  14. Speak up. People don’t know how to love you if you don’t show them. If something irritates or annoys you, say it.
  15. Never sacrifice your integrity no matter how enticing the opportunity.
  16. Don’t chase people. If someone wants to be in your life, you’ll know.
  17. Because of the increase in lawlessness, the love of the world has grown cold so be kind, be gentle, be considerate.
  18. Karma is a real thing. If you don’t want it to happen to you, don’t do it to others.
  19. Some people say that cucumbers taste better pickle.” < See how this statement makes no sense? Just because something sounds deep, doesn’t mean that it is.
  20. Be a fool for no one.
  21. Friendships are sacred. Don’t go around calling everyone you friend or sister. Make them prove it.
  22. Remember to check on your strong friends.
  23. Assume nothing. Validate everything.
  24. Laugh. Let joy rub off on you. One day you won’t have the privilege of being in a good mood. One day things won’t be so joyous and you’ll just have the memories of when they were.
  25. Make memories.
  26. Don’t ever look down on someone for not knowing what you know. There was a time when you didn’t know either.
  27. You don’t know what you don’t know.
  28. Spend time alone. Get to know yourself.
  29. Be willing to walk alone, than with a thousand snakes.
  30. Remember the homeless as if chained to them. Let their condition be a reminder of your humility. Your life could always be worse.
  31. Remember that there is a way of correcting people without telling the whole world. Educate, but do not make people feel less than they are. Even if someone is wrong, give them the tools they need to be successful but leave them with their dignity.

The PBS Blog Podcast Ep 2- Love without an Agenda

Another Episode of The PBS Blog Podcast has been uploaded. Today we are talking the importance of extending love to people without an agenda. The inspiration came from a quote to which I don’t know the author but it goes: “People grow when they are loved well. If you want to help people to heal, then love them without an agenda.”

Check it out below and be sure to subscribe for episode updates (as I have no set schedule for this. While I’ll update this blog at the notice of new episodes, you may want to subscribe just to be sure you don’t miss any).

Episode 2 – Love without an Agenda

No Whining Wednesday – Edit Your Life

Welcome back you Non-Whiners! Ya’ll know how we do this, if you’re new to this segment or this blog, please read the first post HERE. Our goal is not to whine, complain, or criticize on Wednesdays.

The No Whining Wednesday Badge
The No Whining Wednesday Badge

So far, we’ve pretty much covered complaining and whining but No Whining Wednesday also means no criticizing.

Criticize – indicate the faults of (someone or something) in a disapproving way.

One thing about this is that it’s easy to see the faults in others. Even in writing it is difficult to see your own errors (i.e. the need of editors). Sometimes we need to apply this to life in general, that is, edit your life. “Your” being the key word here.

Criticism is sneaky and can roll off the tongue so easily. It can be done in many ways and even more so today than before since technology conceals much and through emojis and semicolons people roll their eyes and smack their lips. Speaking negatively under their breath while they throw up a smiley face.

If we really thought about it, we’d probably discover that we spend most of our day criticizing others.  We criticize the woman taking too long in the grocery line in front of us. We criticize the woman whose pants are too tight or shirt that exposes her breasts. We turn our lips up at the homeless man or the drunkard stumbling down the street. In our own thoughts, we do more criticizing than we’d admit outwardly and let’s not talk about writing! There’s a load of judgment here. The truth is that we can often see the splinter in the eyes of others but not the plank in our own. While we are pointing fingers, we tend to be far worse than the people we’re judging.

“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”

– Dale Carnegie

When I was in High School, there was the perception that the person who was the loudest and the most critical was the toughest and they often became the most popular. This perception could not have been any further from the truth. The person who talks a lot knows nothing. Likewise, the person who is so quick to judge others is a fool. Be not mistaken, it takes a strong person to be kind, gentle and forgiving in a hateful world. Seeking vengeance and refusing to forgive is just as cocky and critical as condemning someone for what they wear.

Today, focus on editing your own life before you point out so much as a missing hair from someone else’s.

It’s About You

1

The way you treat people is only partly for them, but mostly it’s for you. To bestowe mercy on others, to show love and compassion even to those who aren’t showing it toward you, this is for you. To not judge others harshly helps them sure, but ultimately you are made better and your growth increases. To be tolerant, and sympathetically aware of others feelings is to be understanding. We need more understanding and not fall victim to judging people without compassion because then we easily prove ourselves to be fools, and the same judgment we give, is what we will be given back. This is why it’s not just for others, but also for ourselves.

Sometimes you must step back and look at your actions as if stepping outside yourself. Stepping back and looking at the whole picture. Anyone can respect those who respect them but it takes a uniquely special individual to be kind even when other’s are not. It is not then just about how we treat those who are good to us, but also those who are not. This is what makes us special and sets us apart. What I’ve learned in life in general is to always be teachable. Not always teaching, but always teachable. You can’t think you just have it all together and be so quick to criticize and bash others. Just show love. Be merciful even when people may not deserve it, not necessarily for their sake but mostly for yourself.