I am thankful for my struggles because one thing they have taught me (the one trait I strive to maintain as part of my character) is humility. I understand that I am flawed, that there were a series of awakenings that ultimately led me to the truth, and that freedom didn’t find me whole, but in pieces. I don’t worry what others think of me because YAH is my only judge and I am allowed to be a work-in-progress. For this, I strive to have as much compassion on others as I can because I don’t have it all together and I will never pretend to. I didn’t wake up automatically understanding who I was. There were stepping stones to this. When dealing with people who may not know what I know, I remember that my resurrection happened in stages.


Detach Yourself from Bad Vibes: Don’t make other people’s energy yours

When running your race and trying to build something it’s most important to block out any and all negative vibes (from others and from your own self-doubt). One of the obvious reasons for this is because you can easily become distracted and lose focus. But, going deeper, you lose focus because you begin to lock into other people’s energy. Whatever the negative minded people around you are feeling, you begin to feel it too. They don’t have to necessarily be bad people but the energy they are giving off can be bad. If you are always surrounded around these kinds of people, their energy can become your energy.

People emit all kinds of energies and some are not even aware that the vibes they are giving off are destructive. People who are not aware of their own destruction are dangerous people because it means they tear down everything around them. As you can see, that makes it difficult to build with these people. You cannot build with a destructive person. You will need to remove yourself from that person’s presence and free yourself from the ways in which their thoughts become your thoughts.

When we take on the negative energies of others we soon begin to:

  • Doubt ourselves. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
  • Create mental notes on why said thing might not work
  • Make excuses for why we shouldn’t move forward with said thing
  • Reject opportunities (because, you know, said person said it wouldn’t be good)

When we do this, lock into someone’s energy, we take our eyes off the prize and start to come up with our own reasons and assumptions which are probably a far cry from the truth. That said, when trying to do something, write a book, build a business, it’s very important not to take on the emotions and feelings of the people around you if those emotions and feelings aren’t uplifting and productive to what you are trying to achieve. This is why it is advised to keep things to yourself because people tend to reject what they do not understand and will begin to project that energy onto you. Even if you have to walk alone, this is sometimes necessary because no one else may get your vision. That doesn’t mean your vision is wrong or that you are wrong. It just means that the vision was given to YOU which mean it’s not for everyone to understand right now. It’s for YOU to understand and to carry it through.

People will pick out the pieces of you they like and understand. That’s life. Everyone does not like you and you shouldn’t expect them to. Expect to be misunderstood by some. Hated by some and looked down upon by some. Underestimated by some. Expect it because that’s real and that’s life. Your job is to love yourself regardless to INCLUDE the parts of you that others reject. Personally, not worrying about what people think (negatively) has been a game changer for me. My stress levels are lower and I find myself being much more productive.

The truth is that I know what I have been commanded to do and what I bring to the table behind the scene. I am secure in that and being secure in this is a daily practice of constant focus and a whole lot of ignoring! (You gotta learn to ignore people for a little bit sometimes and focus on you.) In this, I can block out all energy that is not conducive to what I am trying to do and where I am trying to go. I can turn my back on it without regret and without apology. I can be who I was purposed to be without being held back by other people’s negative opinions, thoughts, and limitations. I can be free. And so can you.

All or Nothing

Photo by Oliver Thomas Klein on Unsplash.

I don’t know how to feel half-heartedly
how to passion
how to love raindrops at a time.
I don’t know how to half
So I apologize.
I am sorry if my sun
burned your skin.
If I came in too hot
or if I am sometimes too cold
a forest of ice
and long blades of frozen grass
bowing under the weight
of bitter winds.
A breath of vapor
purple lips
and chattering teeth.
I promise you that this heart of stone
is really just flesh
learning to beat one pulse at a time
just don’t ask me to half
I don’t know how to feel half-heartedly
I cannot promise not to love you
for I am all
or nothing.


Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore – Author Update – Alexis Rose, Sue Coletta, Barb Taub, Yecheilyah Ysrayl and K. D. Dowdall

Thanks so much Sally for the update! Guys, be sure to stop by Sally’s place for books updated from Alexis Rose, Sue Coletta, Barb Taub, K. D. Dowdall and myself.

Smorgasbord - Variety is the spice of life

Welcome to the Monday edition of the Cafe and Bookstore Update and the first author with news is Alexis Rose with a new review on Goodreads. If I Could Tell You How It Feels was released on 16th January.

About the book

If I Could Tell You How It Feels is a series of essays and poems about living authentically with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Alexis Rose takes us on a journey into the reality of living with triggers, flashbacks, and the challenges of working through trauma. She writes with intimate vulnerability about the tough subjects of family, friendships, loss, grief, parenting, and therapy.

With a sense of universal hope and honesty, the author collaborated with artist Janet Rosauer to add a dramatic and soulful dimension to many of the chapters.

Whether you are a survivor, someone living with a mental or chronic illness, a professional working within the mental…

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KDP Print Just Got A Whole Lot More Attractive

Nicholas gives us the scoop on some hot new upgrades to KDP for Print.

Nicholas C. Rossis

CreateSpace-Amazon logos | From the blog of Nicholas C. Rossis, author of science fiction, the Pearseus epic fantasy series and children's booksI’m sure most of you have heard the news by now, but if you haven’t, Amazon has announced some major changes to its KDP Print program. Only two days after I was telling people in this blog’s comments that I wouldn’t even consider moving to KDP Print from CreateSpace until Amazon addressed its two most glaring issues, the company announced it had. On top of that, it addressed my major problem with CreateSpace, thus making it a whole lot more likely that I will soon be moving over.

Problem #1: No Physical Proofs (Solved)

The first problem with KDP Print concerned its means of proofing your manuscript. Well, you can now order printed proofs from KDP. Proofs allow you to review a physical copy of your draft paperback prior to publication.

Note, however, that the process is a bit more cumbersome than the one CreateSpace uses. Specifically, here’s how you…

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A Time to Love

“Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most? When they done good and made things easy for everybody? Well then, you ain’t through learning—because that ain’t the time at all. It’s when he is at his lowest and can’t believe in himself. When you starts measuring somebody, measure him right, child. Measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account what hills and valley’s he come through before he got to wherever he is.”

–          Lorraine Hansberry, A Raisin in the Sun

Introduce Yourself: Introducing Guest Author K.E. Garland

Been a minute since our last Introduction!

Today I’d like to extend a warm welcome to K.E. Garland. Welcome to The PBS Blog! Let’s get started.

What is your name and where are you from?

My name is Katherin Elizabeth Garland and I was born and raised on the west side of Chicago. I currently live in Florida.

Uh oh, another Chicago native in the building. I’m from the South Side myself. How long have you been in Florida? That weather must be feeling lovely.

I know right! Chi-town stand up! I’ve been here for about 20 years. We moved back to a suburb one year (Naperville), but found it was a little colder than we remembered lol, so we moved back. The weather here is WONDERFUL, when there’s not a category five hurricane coming towards us 😉

What is the most annoying habit that you have?

People “claim” <insert air quotes> that I eat very loud. I mean I don’t know if I believe them or not, but several friends and family members have complained.

Several loll. Siblings?

I have one sister who is five years older than I am. We weren’t raised together because I was adopted out of the family. Consequently, we’re not very close. I consider myself an only child; however, I use the phrase, “I was raised as an only child,” out of respect for the situation.

Aww. Let’s get back to writing. I met you through the blog, does blogging help you to write?

Blogging does help me write. It helps me maintain consistency with my purpose and writing. For example, my blog is focused on nonfiction, inspirational stories, so no matter my topic or thought, I always intentionally try to see the “good” in real situations and inspire readers to think a little differently about common issues.

That’s what’s up. Your comment section always popping lol. Do you have any blogging advice for author bloggers?

L…O…L Just be yourself. In all things, be yourself. You can’t be like the blogger who posts every day because you have a day job. You can’t talk about relationships because you don’t want to open up. And that’s FINE! Be yourself and do what you do best.

I get the feeling I already know the answer to this question but, what’s your favorite color?

My favorite color is red. I have a red purse, red laptop cover, and red clothing (in every style, including several red pairs of shoes). I also have red sheets, red silverware, and a red dish holder thing for when the dishes dry (whatever it’s called).


Kwoted is available now on Amazon.

Oh my goodness lol. You are obsessed! When did you publish your first book? What was that like?

I actually published my first book in 2015. It is called Kwoted and included 100 original quotes created by me. As simple as the book was, I was ecstatic to have even gone through the self-publishing process. People didn’t really buy that book, but it inspired me to know that my next book, The Unhappy Wife (2016) was possible.

Kwoted sounds lovely. I like the spin on the title and I just finished The Unhappy Wife. Are you married Kathy?

I have been married for 21 years now.

That’s awesome. Children?

I have two beautiful and polar opposite daughters. They are eighteen and sixteen.

The Unhappy Wife

The Unhappy Wife is available now on Amazon.

Let’s go back to The Unhappy Wife for a moment. You’ve been married for over 20 years which I think is amazing. What advice can you give to young women out there on being happier in marriage?

Thank youuuu! I had this advice made up on a t-shirt when I was promoting the book:

  1. Know yourself.
  2. Love yourself.
  3. Be yourself.

That’s it. If you do one or all of those things, then your marriage will go smoothly. You’ll take ownership for who you are in the relationship and you’ll stop blaming others for your happiness or unhappiness.

Nice. Write that down people. OK, let’s switch it up a bit. What are your thoughts on Race?

Here in the States, we’ve spent too much time creating racial constructs and fighting against them. It’s an exhausting conversation and way of life. Quite honestly, I know that once we focus on the real divide, socioeconomic inequality, then we’ll be making some headway. Once we realize that most of us are in the same boat financially, while wealthy people control our entire existence, then a true shift will occur. Race (and racial inequality) is just something to keep us distracted from real issues. I hope I’m clear. Racial inequality does exist, but we have to move the conversation beyond race and into financial insecurity.

Interesting. What takes up too much of your time?

Nothing takes up too much of my time. I say this because I’ve spent much of my life getting to a place where most of my time is my own; therefore, I don’t think anything takes up “too much of” it. In most moments, I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing, which I know is creating each future moment of my life. That’s a great feeling.


Thank you Kathy for spending this time with us. We enjoyed you!


K.E. Garland. Photo used with permission.

Katherin is a First Place Royal Palms Literary Award winning writer for Creative Nonfiction. Her work has been featured in the South Florida TimesTalking Soup and For Harriet. She typically writes in order to inspire social change. Other examples of her work can be found on her personal blog.

IG, Twitter, and FB: kegarland

Are you an author? Looking for more exposure? Learn more about my Introduce Yourself Feature HERE!