I’ve learned that caring about what other people think of me is an unnecessary burden that I do not have to carry. People will see you how they want to see you. If they think you are a bad person they will only see bad. If they think you are a good person, they will only see good (no matter how deep they have to search for the light.) You can let people walk all over you and there are still some who will say that you are not flat enough. So, you may as well be authentically and unapologetically you because, in the words of Najawa Zebian, “those mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.”
Listen to ‘You Will Lose People’ now on Soundcloud and be sure to subscribe for notification of new episodes.
Welcome back lovelies! To another No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you do not get to whine, criticize, or complain for a 24hour period. If you are new to this blog or new to this segment, please visit the first post HEREto understand what this is all about.
The No Whining Wednesday Badge
Today’s inspiration is Will Smith’s Instagram video. It has been making its way around social media and for good reason. We live in a world dominated by social media and for this, it’s important to remember that everybody who LIKES you don’t “Like” you. In fact, I am willing to bet that many of us have people on our Facebook “friends” list who are not our friends and people who like our every post but will not reach out in real life. People who say they support you but have never bought a book or left a review or just helped you to promote your work. This goes far beyond writing, this is about life. Who we surround ourselves with has a lot to do with the person we eventually become. This is how important associations are. If the people around you are not encouraging you, lifting you up, inspiring you, correcting you, helping you, etc, why are they around you? Why are we allowing people who do nothing for us to have so much access to us?
Today I’d like to extend a warm welcome to K.E. Garland. Welcome to The PBS Blog! Let’s get started.
What is your name and where are you from?
My name is Katherin Elizabeth Garland and I was born and raised on the west side of Chicago. I currently live in Florida.
Uh oh, another Chicago native in the building. I’m from the South Side myself. How long have you been in Florida? That weather must be feeling lovely.
I know right! Chi-town stand up! I’ve been here for about 20 years. We moved back to a suburb one year (Naperville), but found it was a little colder than we remembered lol, so we moved back. The weather here is WONDERFUL, when there’s not a category five hurricane coming towards us 😉
What is the most annoying habit that you have?
People “claim” <insert air quotes> that I eat very loud. I mean I don’t know if I believe them or not, but several friends and family members have complained.
Several loll. Siblings?
I have one sister who is five years older than I am. We weren’t raised together because I was adopted out of the family. Consequently, we’re not very close. I consider myself an only child; however, I use the phrase, “I was raised as an only child,” out of respect for the situation.
Aww. Let’s get back to writing. I met you through the blog, does blogging help you to write?
Blogging does help me write. It helps me maintain consistency with my purpose and writing. For example, my blog is focused on nonfiction, inspirational stories, so no matter my topic or thought, I always intentionally try to see the “good” in real situations and inspire readers to think a little differently about common issues.
That’s what’s up. Your comment section always popping lol. Do you have any blogging advice for author bloggers?
L…O…L Just be yourself. In all things, be yourself. You can’t be like the blogger who posts every day because you have a day job. You can’t talk about relationships because you don’t want to open up. And that’s FINE! Be yourself and do what you do best.
I get the feeling I already know the answer to this question but, what’s your favorite color?
My favorite color is red. I have a red purse, red laptop cover, and red clothing (in every style, including several red pairs of shoes). I also have red sheets, red silverware, and a red dish holder thing for when the dishes dry (whatever it’s called).
Kwoted is available now on Amazon.
Oh my goodness lol. You are obsessed! When did you publish your first book? What was that like?
I actually published my first book in 2015. It is called Kwoted and included 100 original quotes created by me. As simple as the book was, I was ecstatic to have even gone through the self-publishing process. People didn’t really buy that book, but it inspired me to know that my next book, The Unhappy Wife (2016) was possible.
Kwoted sounds lovely. I like the spin on the title and I just finished The Unhappy Wife. Are you married Kathy?
I have been married for 21 years now.
That’s awesome. Children?
I have two beautiful and polar opposite daughters. They are eighteen and sixteen.
The Unhappy Wife is available now on Amazon.
Let’s go back to The Unhappy Wife for a moment. You’ve been married for over 20 years which I think is amazing. What advice can you give to young women out there on being happier in marriage?
Thank youuuu! I had this advice made up on a t-shirt when I was promoting the book:
Know yourself.
Love yourself.
Be yourself.
That’s it. If you do one or all of those things, then your marriage will go smoothly. You’ll take ownership for who you are in the relationship and you’ll stop blaming others for your happiness or unhappiness.
Nice. Write that down people. OK, let’s switch it up a bit. What are your thoughts on Race?
Here in the States, we’ve spent too much time creating racial constructs and fighting against them. It’s an exhausting conversation and way of life. Quite honestly, I know that once we focus on the real divide, socioeconomic inequality, then we’ll be making some headway. Once we realize that most of us are in the same boat financially, while wealthy people control our entire existence, then a true shift will occur. Race (and racial inequality) is just something to keep us distracted from real issues. I hope I’m clear. Racial inequality does exist, but we have to move the conversation beyond race and into financial insecurity.
Interesting. What takes up too much of your time?
Nothing takes up too much of my time. I say this because I’ve spent much of my life getting to a place where most of my time is my own; therefore, I don’t think anything takes up “too much of” it. In most moments, I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing, which I know is creating each future moment of my life. That’s a great feeling.
Thank you Kathy for spending this time with us. We enjoyed you!
K.E. Garland. Photo used with permission.
Katherin is a First Place Royal Palms Literary Award winning writer for Creative Nonfiction. Her work has been featured in the South Florida Times, Talking Soup and For Harriet. She typically writes in order to inspire social change. Other examples of her work can be found on her personalblog.
Welcome back to another Black History Fun Fact Friday. Technically, I am still doing research on the article I had hoped to finish in time for you today. (I am actually sitting here trying to finish it.) Instead of publishing anything, I am going to push it back to next week. However, I don’t want us to miss out on any episodes! So, with Black Panther as the latest craze, here is how I almost spoke an African language. (This is also a lesson in not giving up!)
When I was in College I mistakenly signed up for a Twi class. I walked around my house repeating “aane”, “dabi” to my husband (then boyfriend) like my cousin did in first grade when he learned to spell cat, house, and dog for the first time. I eventually dropped the class but I still remember “aane” and “dabi” which means: “yes- aane” and “no-dabi”. Twi is a dialect of the Akan language spoken in Ghana by about 6–9 million Ashanti people as a first and second language. I had no idea.
The Ashanti Empire was a powerful Akan empire and kingdom in what is now modern-day Ghana and they were rich in gold (i.e. The Gold Coast). According to Wikipedia:
“The name Asante means “because of war”. The word derives from the twi words asa meaning “war” and nti meaning “because of”. This name comes from the Asante’s origin as a kingdom created to fight the Denkyira kingdom.
The variant name “Ashanti” comes from British reports that transcribing “Asante” as the British heard it pronounced, as-hanti. The hyphenation was subsequently dropped and the name Ashanti remained, with various spellings including Ashantee common into the early 20th century. An alternative theory is that the name derives from the Hindi word Shanti, meaning peace, the opposite of which is Ashanti, meaning war.”
Ashan was also the name of a city located in southern Israel. The word Ashan in Hebrew means “smoke” “smoke city” or “burning city” which makes Ashanti “the people of Ashan or the people of the smoke city”. This was a reference to the city of Ashan after the Israelites took it over during the conquest of Canaan (1 Ch 4:32, 1 Ch 6:59) but that’s not all. The Ashanti people also had many Hebrew customs and traditions as part of their way of life. For example, for eight days after the birth of a child, the Ashanti mother is considered unclean. It is only on the eighth day that the child receives his/her personal name, and on the 40th day, a still further ceremony has to be observed. This mirrors Leviticus Chapter 12. Further, the Ashanti women were also unclean during their menstrual cycles as instructed in Leviticus 15:19-20.
In brief, the Ashanti were an organized and disciplined people who spoke both Akan or Twi and I sometimes wish I’d endured the class a little while longer. In 1701 Osei Kofi Tutu, chief of the small Akan city-state of Kumasi helped form the Ashanti Empire by unifying other Akan groups under the Golden Stool which is the Ashanti Seat of Power. He unified the people and conquered several other neighboring states, expanding the Ashanti wealth, power and influence.
If ever you have an opportunity to do something, do it! Even if you don’t end up liking it, there is still something you may learn from it in some way. You can also mark it off your bucket list as something you did. Although I only know two words, it still feels awesome to say: “I know how to say yes and no in Twi!”
Well said. Post Quote: “Good writing advice acknowledges that everyone does things differently. They’re at different places in their lives. They have different barriers to productivity and creation. They have different preferences, different likes and dislikes. They are not you. And talking to them like they are is like talking into a mirror. Your audience isn’t going to stick around.”
I’ve always hated it. It’s one of the reasons I started Novelty Revisions. Even though I wouldn’t have called myself anything close to an expert at that point, I wanted to fill as much of the web with good advice as I could.
You can’t stop people from giving bad advice. But you can contribute enough good advice that people start ignoring the unhelpful, generalized, and, in some cases, wrong.
When I’m thinking of ideas for blog posts, there are a few things I always try to stay away from — even if the ideas do come to mind.
I never want to rant about something unless I have a solution to offer — either practical or theoretical.
I won’t ever call someone out for being terrible, unless I’m giving my readers an example of what not to do (or what to do…
I’d just like a few minutes of your time. I am hosting two live events for those of you in or around GA:
I am hosting a Double Book Signing and Community Meet and Greet Event on Friday, March 30, 2018 and I would love your support, those of you who can make it. Featured books will be Renaissance, I am Soul and The Stella Trilogy. If you don’t have these in paperback now is a good time to get them! (There will be limited copies of each so being on time is important.)
First Signing: Nubian Bookstore 1540 Southlake Pkwy, Suite 7A Morrow, GA 30062 12:00 – 2:00p EST
Second Signing: The I-Lounge
2000 E Lake Pkwy
Marietta, GA 30062
3:00 – 6:00p EST (includes light refreshments)
PLEASE NOTE: If you plan on coming to town anytime before Friday, 3/30, please let me know ASAP so that we can accommodate you. Also if you’re in ATL and you would like physical copies of the flyer I’ll be at the bookstore this weekend to drop some off.
The PBS Blog 