Concrete Rose Episode Two: The White Lady

“I give a holler to my sisters on welfare
Tupac cares, if don’t nobody else care”

You know, it’s funny when it rains it pours
They got money for wars, but can’t feed the poor.”

-Tupac, Keep Ya Head Up

Even though life tried to take me out in a toilet, I got here healthy, drug-free, and a head full of hair.

After two weeks in the hospital, Mama was allowed to take me home, if that’s what you wanna call it. Our building had been built in the 60s, but it wasn’t much of a building by the late 80s and into the early 90s.

Rats and roaches plagued our apartments, and the housing authorities couldn’t care less. Brand-new babies like me were brought home to nothing but drug dealers and addicts, children sprawled about like clothes somebody left on the floor and forgot to wash, so it wasn’t no surprise when The White Lady came.

That’s what people said when the social workers came to inspect the low-income apartments, “The White Lady.” They ain’t never have a name.

The woman stood in the kitchen, talking to Mama, and looking around our place with distaste. She gazed at the Crisco on top of the stove, as well as the dish rack, which was piled high with plates, bowls, cups, and cutlery. It wasn’t cute, but it was clean.

Her gaze moved to my brother and me, who were playing on the thick blanket on the floor we called a pallet. Well, he was playing, and I was doing whatever it was babies do.

My Uncle Rome hid in the closet next to the bathroom cause he wasn’t on the lease. Black women weren’t allowed to have a man in the house in those days if they wanted to get the Welfare. We also had to hide the new toaster, dish rack, and telephone so they wouldn’t take away any money.

“Mrs. House, your son is developing slowly for his age…”

The short, green-eyed blonde balanced a clipboard in her arms and scratched her nose with the tip of her writing pen. The hoop ring in her right nostril and the sunflower tattoo on her exposed arm caught my Uncle Jerome’s eye.

My favorite uncle and unofficial babysitter, we called my mother’s little brother Rome for short. He thought he was Romeo to every woman’s Juliet. His dark chocolate skin tone and thick lips drove them crazy. Mama said if he took the time to read Romeo and Juliet’s story, he might want to be somebody else.

“Ain’t nothing romantic about no Romeo and Juliet,” she’d lecture him when he bragged about his latest escapades.

“Why is that?”

“They both died fool.”

Uncle Rome said he wasn’t into white women like that, but this one was “sho-nuff fine.” Unk was lying. He loved him some white women. He just wanted to know why she was so young and how long she’d been working with social services to where she could take his sister’s kids.

“…and your 2-month-old is malnourished,” said the White Lady.

“It’s Miss House,” said Mama, taking a drag of her cigarette, inhaling smoke, and blowing it out of her nose. “Since you know so damn much.”

Uncle Rome did one of those fake coughs you do to cover up a laugh.

The lady ignored my mother. “Miss House, have you been using the Food Stamps?”

Unk said Mama frowned, “Yes, I use my stamps. Fuck I look like not to use Food Stamps?”

“I just wanna make sure you didn’t sell them, is all,” said the white lady.

“Oh, so you my judge now? I look incompetent to you?”

See, that’s what I loved about Mama. Yeah, she was a heroin addict, but she wasn’t no fool. A wordsmith with a mouth like a two-edged sword, she’ll curse you out every which way but loose and diversify her vocabulary while at it so you can know she’s cursing because she wants to, not because she doesn’t have the words to say what’s on her mind.

Mama used to write poems and stories before she got pregnant with Aaron. She also went to school to do hair. There wasn’t nothing my Mama couldn’t do. I wished she would get back to her art. Maybe that would help keep her away from the drugs.

“Look, are you done? Cause, as you can see, I have kids to look after.”

The woman scanned the apartment once more, frowning at a roach crawling on the wall. “Let’s just hope you are taking care of these children. This is your final warning, Miss House. If I have to come back here again…”

“Yeah, I know,” interrupted Mama, blowing out more smoke. “Are we done?”

The woman nodded, “We are.”

As she walked toward the door, she stopped to look once more at us and then back at my mother. “Probably not a good idea for you to smoke in front of the children.”

Mama rolled her eyes, dropped the cigarette on the floor, stomped it with her foot, and waved the woman off.

According to my uncle’s story, the woman left us alone after that. But, in my fifth month, someone new came to visit, and I was taken away from Mama and placed in foster care, where I would stay for the next five years.


Did you miss episode one? Check it out here!

Again, I am sharing based on interest! If you like this episode and want to move on to episode 3 (“Miss Sophia,”) let me know! 😃

Concrete Rose: Episode One

“Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? It learned to walk without having feet. Funny, it seems, but by keeping its dreams, it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else cared.”

– Tupac Amaru Shakur

I was almost born in the toilet.

My brother, Aaron, had just turned two, and Mama was only five months pregnant when Theresa (we call her Reese) caught her shooting up in the bathroom. That’s when she felt my head. “I think I feel my baby,” she slurred.

People around my way love to quote Tupac’s Rose That Grew from Concrete, but they don’t really know what it means. They don’t know nothing about coming up from the hardest part of the earth, snuggled between nothing but weeds, dirt, and the butts of cigarettes.

Then, the sun is so hot sometimes, the poor flowers (that are not really flowers cause they ain’t get the nutrients they need) just wither up and die. That’s what we really fight against here in these slums, in this place they want us to call home, but it ain’t never feel like it. Never felt like a hug or Big Mama’s greens.

That’s how the bathroom was almost my birthplace. Right there at 4840 South State Street, apartment 602. I feel sorry for Reese having to see her auntie slumped over like that and her own mother high as a kite in the other room. How is somebody supposed to get ready for school in this mess?

Reese was strong, though. She banged her fist against the door real hard like the police when they raided the sniper apartments. What is a sniper apartment? It’s just what it says: Empty flats on the top floors drug dealers used to shoot their enemies down below, like snipers on the battlefield.

Photo Cred: Williams Humbles

“Aunt Helen! Auntie, I gotta get ready for school!”

Frustrated, my mother, belly hanging over blue jeans now too small to zip up all the way and a dingy white t-shirt, finally opened the door.

“Come on, girl, shit,” she said, pointing to the tub. “Hurry up,” she rushed as Reese undressed and ran the water.

Mama sat back on the toilet and wrapped the belt tight around her forearm, a burned spoon dangling on the edge of the sink like it was supposed to be there. Like it was a toothbrush waiting to be used. Reese said she remembers praying Aunt Helen wouldn’t ask her to help tie her off like the other times.

“Close that curtain. Hurry up!”

After Mama said she could feel my head, Reese ran out of the bathroom, butt naked, and into her mother’s room. Dazed from her own high, Auntie Lorraine jumped up nevertheless. She knew her sister was pregnant and hurried to the bathroom, except she didn’t use her fist like her daughter. Auntie Lorraine, big-boned and shaped like Sara Baartman, used the back of her foot, slamming it against the door.

“Helen!” she screamed, but Mama wasn’t opening the door, so Auntie Lorraine had to kick it in, the needle falling from my mother’s long, skinny fingers like a witness eager to expose her secrets.

And as they say, the rest is history.

My name is Rosalind House, but everybody calls me Rose for short. I was born two months later, on June 21, 1987, premature and weighing a whopping 3 lbs and screaming at the top of my lungs. They say that’s why my voice is so high-pitched and sweet. They say it’s like something the Lord made. Say, I’m gone use it to shout my way out of this place.

And I did.

Let me tell you how it happened.


I missed writing fiction, so I started a new story!

I am calling it Concrete Rose (for now). I’ll be sharing the first few chapters based on response, so if you wanna read more, let me know! 🙂

Up Next: “The White Lady.”

This Precious Life

Photo by David Alberto Carmona Coto

The preciousness of this life has been on my mind heavily.

It could be because a sister I’ve known for years lost her oldest son to a senseless murder last week. Gianni was only 20 years old.

Then, I woke up this morning to see that O.J. Simpson had died.

Or, it could be that this September will mark four years since my mother’s death.

As generations pass, I reflect on the fragility of this life and wonder if I am making the most of it.

No, not I. We. I wonder if we are making the most of it.

When we say that life is short and that every day isn’t promised, do we understand the power of that revelation?

It humbles me to think that every day we are getting closer to our deaths and have no idea. That, when we were born, it also came with a death date that we will only know when the it comes knocking on our door.

What will history say about the lives we’ve lived?

What are we writing in the spaces?

Photo Cred: Tehilayah

I want to express my gratitude for your support in this work. If you’ve ever supported me in any way, I appreciate you and what you have contributed to this blog, my books, or me personally.

I do not take any of it for granted.

You are supporting not only me but also the community and a movement by bringing to life the stories of those who have been silent and resurrecting the voices of the voiceless.


Black History Facts returns! If you’ve been waiting for a signed copy, this is your chance to get your hands on it. We are back in stock starting Friday, 4/12 at https://www.blkhistorybook.com/.

The Best Advice is Lived Experience

Photo by Ivan Samkov

I saw an Ad on Facebook where the person was telling authors that selling their books on Amazon is a waste of time and that they should sell directly from their website.

And, if you buy the course for $89.95, he’ll teach you exactly how to do it.

Be careful with this kind of advice.

It’s not even that it’s bad, but it is unbalanced.

Questions.

How many people visit your author’s website monthly? Not your blog, your static author website?

How many author websites do YOU visit regularly?

When you think about a book you want to buy, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

For me, the answer is not from the author’s website but from Amazon, and if I am going offline, I am hitting up Barnes and Noble or my local Independent bookstore.

Photo by Ivan Samkov

I have always advocated for author websites because they allow authors to track leads.

You can collect data to keep in touch with readers, like email addresses and phone numbers—something you can’t do through Amazon, which doesn’t show who bought the book. You only know if that person leaves a review.

But I wouldn’t consider Amazon a waste of time when they are the number one go-to for people looking to buy books.

This person’s perspective lacks balance. Authors can have books available through their websites and on Amazon. Also, consider everyone’s journey is different:

  • Some authors need help to afford or do not want to pay for a website, which requires buying a domain name, paying for e-commerce, and the percentage your cart of choice (say Stripe) takes out of every transaction. Meanwhile (at the time of this writing), setting up an Amazon Author Central page is free.
  • And some authors prefer to add a website outside of Amazon to track leads because they understand that a book is a product. And individuals don’t have products; businesses do. These authors see the value in their books not as the end but as the beginning of a thriving and profitable business, and businesses have websites. 

What I Recommend:

The best advice is lived experiences, and I recommend that everyone do what feels right with their souls. Otherwise, we risk stifling an author’s creativity and rob them of the opportunity to learn.

  • To increase traffic to your static website or landing page, promote it. Let people know the option to buy directly from you is available. Offer your books as signed copies and throw in some book swag. People do buy from author websites if you let them know.
  • Use your blog as your website. Because they are updated often with posts, they get much better SEO and traffic than static sites. You can set it up for free right here on WordPress. You don’t have to buy a domain unless you want to. (I did because I’m extra, lol.) It is also a great way to build community.
  • If you opt out of a website, set up your Amazon Author Central so you can send people there to buy your books and follow you. People who follow you on Amazon will get an email the next time you publish a new book!
  • Experiment! Test things out. Take risks. Sometimes we don’t know what we like because we’ve never stepped outside the box. Let experience be your teacher.

Why The Tree Does Not Complain About Losing Its Leaves

Photo by Chris F

I love the beauty of nature and how paying attention to it helps me to understand life better. I mean, we are of the earth, after all. It amazes me how we can come from the dirt and assume no connection to it.

So, anywho, as I sat here reminiscing about everyone I’ve lost over the years, a thought struck me: You will never hear a tree complaining about losing its leaves.

Trees lose their leaves for various reasons, except for the evergreen, which retains its green foliage all year. Otherwise, deciduous trees (from a Latin word meaning “that which falls down”) drop their leaves primarily to conserve energy in preparation for upcoming harsh weather conditions by using less energy.

Losing its leaves also conserves moisture within the trunk and keeps it from drying out. The tree can now focus its energy on root growth.

Losing leaves allows wind to blow through the branches, reducing strain on the tree, which is especially important during winter storms.

Losing leaves also gives room for new leaves to grow in its place.

Although the tree appears inactive and desolate without leaves, it is still active, utilizing its energy and resources to develop its root system. A healthy root system will help the tree thrive in the spring.

Much like a tree that must shed its leaves for continual growth, so we must shed some things, too. It helps us to be better equipped to thrive in the conditions the next level requires.

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – Black Coffee by Bree Gordon

Title: Black Coffee: From Empty to Overflowing with Peace, Healing, and Purpose

Author: Bree Gordon

Publisher: Bree Gordon

Published: February 18, 2020

Pages: 122


Bree Gordon begins her book with frank sincerity and unabashed vulnerability. We learn about her trials and tribulations as her marriage unraveled and her mental health suffered. Gordon utilizes her therapy sessions as the basis for telling the stories of the women who made a difference in her life, and the revelation about who these women are will leave you speechless.

In this book, we meet not just Bree but also Linda, Gia, Reena, and Trina. It’s got that How Stella Got Her Groove Back and Waiting to Exhale vibe.

This book’s layout and packaging are both excellent. Gordon welcomes us with a stunning cover of her enjoying a cup of coffee and then weaves this motif across her chapters. From “Brewing” to “Spilling the Beans,” I like how imaginatively she titled the chapters to enhance the story. It brought the narrative and the title together well.

What truly sets this book apart is the inclusion of therapist notes. It will surely help other women who have had to walk in Gordon’s shoes.

Ratings:

  • Authenticity / Believable: 5/5
  • Organization: 5/5
  • Thought Provoking: 5/5
  • Solid Conclusion: 4/5
  • Overall Rating: 5 / 5 stars

Grab Your Copy of Black Coffee Here

bree

https://www.breejgordon.com/


To have your book reviewed on this blog apply here. The registry is open UNTIL AUGUST 1ST!

Be sure to apply BEFORE August even if your book releases after if you want a review on this blog.

Stay tuned for our next dope read!

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews is a reputable review service that features writers from all over the world, both traditionally and independently published. We are listed on Kindlepreneur as a top-tier book review blog and Reedsy as one of their vetted active book blogs that provide insightful, excellent book reviews.

*Books are read in the order they are received.

 

Multiply Your Talents (Use Your Gifts)

Photo by RF.

There are headstones

with the names of highly gifted people

who died with those gifts still inside them.

Brilliant people who passed

but never passed that intellect on

for anyone else’s benefit. 

They died smart. 

Highly passionate people

who never dared to love fully,

and wealthy people who are so poor,

all they have is money.