8 Basic Tips for Social Media Etiquette

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On social media, everything is a part of your brand and is an extension of you. People don’t know you personally so all they have to work with is the vibes you give off. From the way that you send emails, your blog posts, your social media posts and newsletters, everything. What you publish reveals who you are and can tell people one or two things. Either you’re a nasty, disrespectful person or you’re a kind, respectful person. It doesn’t take much to show others respect and appreciation and it may also grant you a follower, or more, a supporter for life. Below are some basic actions we can implement to help to keep our respect levels at an all-time high.

Give Thanks

When someone reblogs or pingbacks on one of your posts, say thank you. It really just takes a second. Although the person probably didn’t share your post to look good, everyone likes to be appreciated. This same thing applies to any social media sharing. When others share your work, thank them. They didn’t have to do it.

Respond to Comments

When someone leaves a comment on your blog or social media in general, respond back. Let them know you see their support and you appreciate it. Remember, no one has to say anything to you so acknowledge those who do.

Use Names

It only takes a second to navigate to the person’s avatar and discover what their name is. You can see some people’s names with their comment profile but for some, you may have to visit their blog to see their real name. Taking a few seconds out of your day to go the extra mile is a form of respect. Using the person name also makes it more personable and shows you really mean it. It makes the other person feel good inside that you took the time to learn their name.

Follow their Blog, Twitter, IG, Like their FB pages, etc

If you really connect with someone, show that you are interested in learning more about them and their work by following their social media pages. You can learn a lot about a person, or at least glimpse who they are, by following them on social media.

Participate

How will we know you’re not just some robot follower or someone following to get a follow back? Through your level of participation. When following someone on social media, don’t just follow and become a ghost. Participate. Retweet their pinned tweet or something they are promoting. Thank them if they retweet something of yours and share their information with your audience as you would like them to do for you.  Like some of their Facebook posts. You don’t have to become a stalker but remember, actions speak louder than words. Show you’re a real person by genuinely participating.

Don’t Be Disrespectful

A wise person once said, don’t burn your bridges. I am sure we’ve all heard this before. The saying suggests that you never know who you will need later in life and where you will have to go so don’t cut off what could possibly connect you to something greater on the other side. Don’t burn down your bridge. Understand that there will be differences in opinions and it’s OK to disagree. In fact, I am all for being firm and standing your ground, but don’t allow someone to get you so upset that you are out of character and are being disrespectful in a way you can’t come back from.

Remember that people are not dumb. Even through texting and social media we can still tell when someone’s being “smart” and condescending. Using all caps, exclamation marks, and publishing blog posts indirectly talking to other bloggers are all signs that you are angry and will not be missed by your fellow peers. They may find this behavior childish and disrespectful and you could lose a good supporter forever. It is possible to disagree with someone and leave them with their dignity.

Ask Questions and Never Assume

We have a duty, especially on social media, to communicate our wants and needs with anyone we share personal space with. This includes blogging and social media. People’s lives are busy and you never know what someone is going through. If there’s something you don’t understand, something that needs clarity, or if you yourself want to clarify something, be sure to communicate effectively and ask questions when needed. Never,  make assumptions and be clear that you are dealing with 100% factual information. Anything that is spoken about in anger that is not reflective of the truth can turn potential clients / readers / supporters off. It means you didn’t even have the decency to verify your information before attacking them.

Always ask questions and never make assumptions. Also, if someone asks you a question, try your best to answer it. If you don’t know the answer swallow your pride and admit you don’t know (no one knows everything). But don’t leave the question hanging in the air. It could be read as a sign of disrespect.

Don’t Disrespect Your Spouse / Loved Ones on Social Media

The way you treat those closets to you speaks volumes about who you are. If you talk about your husband or wife in a way that is nasty it doesn’t just embarrass him/her, it also embarrasses you. It brings shame to your household and makes you look childish and unkind. Never, ever, disrespect the one you love in public either by revealing personal matters or cursing them out on social media. This is especially shameful if you’re a writer or businessperson. Who wants to support someone who demeans the people they love so effortlessly? Not me.

Be careful how you talk to people online. Emails, personal DMs and phone calls are ways you can reach out to people privately if you have  pressing issues. (These are also good ways to communicate if you see someone doing something wrong and feel they need correction. Sometimes people just need to be educated, not demeaned.) Respect starts at home. Give it to your household first and then give it to others.

 

What about you? Are there any other ways of being respectful in the blog / social media world we can add to this list?? Let me hear yours!

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The PBS Blog Podcast Ep 9 – Language of Love

Note: The PBS Blog Podcast has a new Twitter and IG  Page! Be sure to follow us at @PBSBlogPodcast  and thepbsblog

It’s been a minute but I am back with another PBS Blog Podcast. Today we are talking about the language of love. The language you use when you speak about yourself is what is eventually manifested in your life.

I AM a PUBLISHER. I WILL publish books. I CAN publish books. I MUST publish books.

I AM paying this bill. I WILL pay this bill. I CAN pay this bill. I MUST pay this bill.

See how powerful these statements are as compared to: I want to publish books, I wish I could publish books….? Sounds kinda weak now right? Right.

When we start to infuse this kind of language into our lives we take back control of how we feel.

Listen to Language of Love now on Soundcloud and don’t forget to subscribe for notification of new episodes.

 

 

Black History Fun Fact Friday – How I Almost Learned an African Language

Welcome back to another Black History Fun Fact Friday. Technically, I am still doing research on the article I had hoped to finish in time for you today. (I am actually sitting here trying to finish it.) Instead of publishing anything, I am going to push it back to next week. However, I don’t want us to miss out on any episodes! So, with Black Panther as the latest craze, here is how I almost spoke an African language. (This is also a lesson in not giving up!)

When I was in College I mistakenly signed up for a Twi class. I walked around my house repeating “aane”, “dabi” to my husband (then boyfriend) like my cousin did in first grade when he learned to spell cat, house, and dog for the first time. I eventually dropped the class but I still remember “aane” and “dabi” which means: “yes- aane” and “no-dabi”. Twi is a dialect of the Akan language spoken in Ghana by about 6–9 million Ashanti people as a first and second language. I had no idea.

The Ashanti Empire was a powerful Akan empire and kingdom in what is now modern-day Ghana and they were rich in gold (i.e. The Gold Coast). According to Wikipedia:

“The name Asante means “because of war”. The word derives from the twi words asa meaning “war” and nti meaning “because of”. This name comes from the Asante’s origin as a kingdom created to fight the Denkyira kingdom.

The variant name “Ashanti” comes from British reports that transcribing “Asante” as the British heard it pronounced, as-hanti. The hyphenation was subsequently dropped and the name Ashanti remained, with various spellings including Ashantee common into the early 20th century. An alternative theory is that the name derives from the Hindi word Shanti, meaning peace, the opposite of which is Ashanti, meaning war.”

Ashan was also the name of a city located in southern Israel. The word Ashan in Hebrew means “smoke” “smoke city” or “burning city” which makes Ashanti “the people of Ashan or the people of the smoke city”. This was a reference to the city of Ashan after the Israelites took it over during the conquest of Canaan (1 Ch 4:32, 1 Ch 6:59) but that’s not all. The Ashanti people also had many Hebrew customs and traditions as part of their way of life. For example, for eight days after the birth of a child, the Ashanti mother is considered unclean. It is only on the eighth day that the child receives his/her personal name, and on the 40th day, a still further ceremony has to be observed. This mirrors Leviticus Chapter 12. Further, the Ashanti women were also unclean during their menstrual cycles as instructed in Leviticus 15:19-20.

In brief, the Ashanti were an organized and disciplined people who spoke both Akan or Twi and I sometimes wish I’d endured the class a little while longer. In 1701 Osei Kofi Tutu, chief of the small Akan city-state of Kumasi helped form the Ashanti Empire by unifying other Akan groups under the Golden Stool which is the Ashanti Seat of Power. He unified the people and conquered several other neighboring states, expanding the Ashanti wealth, power and influence.

If ever you have an opportunity to do something, do it! Even if you don’t end up liking it, there is still something you may learn from it in some way. You can also mark it off your bucket list as something you did.  Although I only know two words, it still feels awesome to say: “I know how to say yes and no in Twi!”

Choose Your Words

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Don’t act like these little black letters have no home outside the blank page. Like murder can’t come falling from your mouth. Like lawlessness can’t come ripping through towns like torn flesh from heavy winds. Choose your words as if the next phrase has the potential to destroy. Examine the shape of them as they exit your mouth. Taste the intention one syllable at a time, for corroded speech is too often praised these days and reveals the unpolished stains of the heart. Deception brimming the mind and falling from the mouth. A surge of power tap dancing in the air only to build nothing on the ground. No substance. No foundation. Just emotion all over the place. A melting pot of empty tongues. Be careful what you say least truth reveals the fairy-tale hopscotching around in your mouth. A collection of letters too light to gravity the ground. Too corroded to fly. Dare you pretend the taste of burnt ash that fell from your mouth and consumed a life did not first have a home in the heart. Choose your words but first guard your heart for out of it the mouth speaks. Amazing all this power in the tongue. This tiny member leaving bodies smashed up against the blog; the stench of bereavement emanating from the first sentence of a post. Choose your words as if the next phrase has the potential to destroy. Because it does.

Writing 101 Assignment #16: Mine Your Own Material – Speech

“Speech is basic. If you can’t control your words, you can’t control anything.” – Yecheilyah

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We’ve all been here. The orgasmic rush of an undisciplined tongue trying to figure out if it should spill the beans this morning. The aching necessity to feel our very own thoughts in our own mouths, and the satisfaction of these words sweet against the palate. It starts with the mind. A single thought gives birth to language, and a single scent of emotion strives to find its way on top our lips. Pay no heed to logic or common sense says this voice. Just the flavor of desire hanging on the edges of our hearts and waiting to fall like children from our mouths. Speech. There is no refund policy. Words cannot be taken back or traded or made invisible. Cannot be sucked like air back on top our lips, into our mouths and inside our chest. Cannot send its signal to the brain again and ask him to take them back. Speech can only be controlled. So dissect your mind and determine which thoughts are worthy to make it into the air or onto the page. Choose them like you chose your wedding dress. Carefully. Choose them like you chose your school. Wisely. Treat your words as if they are die hard criminals and you must release some of them for early parole. Which will you choose? Cradle your thoughts in your arms like an infant for words are just as fragile and vulnerable. Once spoken, like eggs once broken, they can never be repaired. The tweet I posted some time ago meant that the person, who cannot control the words of his own mouth, won’t have the strength to control anything else in his life. For his words are his. They come from his mind and from his heart. And we, why we cannot dig into his chest and choose them for him.

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Lay vs. Lie (vs. Laid) and Lain

I know I am not the only one to have been confused between these words. I love writing, but grammar has not always gotten me very excited. It’s like running for fun (writing) but not wanting to exercise (Grammar). While I’ve always excelled in English, this is one confusing language! It’s the only one where a maybe, possibly, perhaps, and I’ll try exists. Everyone else just says yes or no! In any event, we must know these things as writers because our English teachers  said so. Sooo, below is an excellent breakdown I found online on the difference between Lay, Lie, Laid, and Lain by Brian A. Klems:

Lay
Lay and lie are both present-tense verbs, but they don’t mean quite the same thing. Lay means to put or set something down, so if the subject is acting on an object, it’s “lay.” For example, I lay down the book. You, the subject, set down the book, the object.

Lie
Lie, on the other hand, is defined as, “to be, to stay or to assume rest in a horizontal position,” so the subject is the one doing the lying—I lie down to sleep or When I pick up a copy of my favorite magazine, Writer’s Digest, I lie down to take in all its great information—and not acting on an object. In both these cases, you, the subject, are setting yourself down. Are you with me so far?

I Lie Down vs. Now I Lay Me Down (to Sleep)
To clarify things further, I’ll answer this question that you’re probably wondering: How can you be lying down in your examples while the classic nighttime prayer for kids clearly begins “Now I lay me down to sleep”? You must be out of your mind! It’s true, I’m totally out of my mind, but both the examples I used and the kids’ prayer are correct—and here’s why.

In I lie down to sleep, there is no object to the sentence, just subject (I). In Now I lay me down to sleep, there is a subject (I) and an object (me). Even though the subject and object are one and the same, the object is still present in the sentence, so you must use lay.

Laid vs. Lay vs. Lain
In the past tense, “lay” becomes “laid” (Last week I laid down the law and told her it was inappropriate for her to pick her nose) and “lie” becomes “lay” (Yesterday she lay down for a nap that afternoon and picked her nose anyway). Yes, “lay” is also the past tense of “lie.” And the confusion doesn’t end there.

To throw you for another loop, “laid” is also the past participle form of “lay.” So, when helping verbs are involved, “lay” becomes “laid” and “lie” becomes “lain.” Grandma had laid the chicken in the oven earlier this morning. The chicken had lain there all day until it was cooked all the way through and ready for us to eat.

Remember: Lay and laid both mean to set something down, while lie, lay and lain all mean the subject is setting itself down.

And now, I lay this question to rest. (Enjoy this totally awesome chart below to help you keep track of when to use lay, lie, laid, lain and more.

Lay vs. Lie Chart


Infinitive    Definition         Present     Past     Past Participle    Present Participle


to lay      to put or place          lay(s)      laid        laid                  laying
something down

to lie     to rest or recline     lie(s)            lay        lain                  lying

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OK, I think I got it. I think. 🙂