How to Sleep Through the Night

Photo by Pedro Henrique Santos on Unsplash

Go outside and stand on the porch. Let the refreshing wind kiss your face. Listen to the trees as they laugh and sway. Welcome the sound of insects’ singing lullabies as the sun lowers itself into sleep. Bask in the beauty that is a changing sky. Reflect on the rich hues, reds, and orange-golds and let the sweetness of nature wash over you. Eat the meal you love without punishment. Something so savory it melts on your tongue. Let it fill you like a cup of hot chocolate on the first day of winter. Drink water. Bathe. Make sure the water’s hot and marinate in Epsom salt. Wash off the worries of the world. Drift into peace like someone swimming. Wear something comfortable to bed. Something that will hold your body like your grandmother’s hugs. Make the room completely dark and close your eyes. Feel the drum of your heartbeat prophesy that you are still alive. Touch your chest and feel the vibrations underneath your fingers. You are still here. Calm the chaos of your mind and focus on your breath. Breathe deep. Inhale. Hold it. Exhale. Now let your soul rest.

The Function of Freedom

 

As I have said before, I hope to use my writing as an underground railroad leading us back to spiritual freedom and away from mental bondage. If people can’t be liberated in their own lives, I hope my books can provide a roadmap. May Morrison RIP and may we step up. The Legends are gone and it is our time now to make an impact. It is our time. What will we do with it?

Nourish Your Root System

At the start of this month, my family and I took a three-city road trip. We picked up my mom-in-law from Memphis, visited some family in Louisiana, and headed down to Houston to see more family. Then, we headed back down to Memphis to close the weekend. We had a great time laughing and eating greasy chicken and enjoying each other’s company, old school style. I did not take many pictures; I did not post many pictures. I just wanted to refresh without social media’s input. I wanted to bask in my mother-in-law’s laughter and joke around with Dad. I wanted to hold babies and scold children. I got to talk to a horse too. I don’t think he was in the mood for conversation, though. It was hot, and my little cousins were annoying him in the way children do. We exchanged a few looks, murmured a few words, and each went about our way.

I still checked in on my social media, but I held back from posting myself. But then something happened as it often does when I step back. I didn’t want to come back! Even after we returned home, I decided to take a few more days off to sit back and reflect on myself. Often when I do this, I notice something pretty amazing: there is movement in stillness. Sometimes when we are doing nothing, we feel like nothing gets done, but actually, everything is getting done! As soon as we relinquish the need to control every outcome, things can move along as they were naturally intended to without us getting in the way. It’s like standing in a room with your eyes closed and not doing anything as the objects in the room start to move and position themselves around you. It is magical the way things line up when we embrace the quiet. Here are a few things that unfolded when I removed myself:

  • I received confirmation to move forward with the project I have been working on in the background for almost two years now. I will talk more about FAPA: From Aspiring to Published Author in a separate post.

 

  • I started work on a new collection of poetry I am calling My Soul is a Witness. I will talk more about this in a  separate post

 

  • I have been trying to get into audiobooks for a while now. I tried once with Renaissance but the narrator couldn’t go through with the project due to family issues. I put Even Salt Looks Like Sugar up on ACX and opened it to auditions. I also forgot about it. Over my break, however, I received three new auditions from narrators who read my sample script for Even Salt Looks Like Sugar, culminating in a total of six auditions. Yep, you heard me right, SIX!

 

  • I am Soul, received two new reviews. Those of you who are Indie Authors know how exciting that is as reviews are often hard to come by.

 

  • Even Salt Looks Like Sugar received one new review with the invitation to possibly do a signing or reading for the organization Sagacious Women of Business this fall.

 

  • The poetry contest got more submissions and email subscribes.

Nourish Your Root System

The part of the plant that grows below the ground are called roots. The main function of the root is to anchor the plant in the soil, to absorb the water and minerals from the soil and prevent soil erosion. There are different roots and root systems. There are tap roots that grow down into the ground and fibrous roots that grow out in all directions underground and looks like a bush. The difference is that tap roots are deeply rooted and fibrous roots are scattered and not that deep. Most weeds are under the fibrous system. It’s easier to uproot and transplant plants under the fibrous system than it is to uproot plants under the tap root system.

If much of the root system is destroyed, a portion of the leaves and branches will die. And if we repeatedly remove the leaves from a tree, some of its roots will die because it connects the leaves on the trees to the tree’s roots. The fruits on a tree are also directly connected to the tree’s roots. The growth of a tree’s roots requires a nourishing of the entire tree itself and when done properly, a strong tree is not easily uprooted by strong storms.

  • What is unseen (roots) must be healthier, stronger than what is seen (branches / leaves)

Work is not just about the physical act of doing something or what we see on the surface. It is not just about posting to social media every day, or blogging twice a week. What is unseen (our hearts, intent, character) directly affects what we see (how we interact, speak, what we produce). The root system of any tree needs to be as wide if not wider than the branches. Meaning what is below (unseen) must match (or even outmatch) what is above or what we see on the surface and if it doesn’t, the tree will fall over and die with the first bad storm.

The most significant work is the work we do on ourselves behind closed doors (unseen), how we nourish our root system. This “Soul Work,” as many deem it, is necessary for business growth and personal growth because how we feel about ourselves directly affect everything around us. It affects who we commit to in relationships and friendships, how we run our businesses, how we establish or do not create boundaries, and how we treat and interact with others. It is not about some pseudo-revolutionary Self-Care Social Media Movement. It is not about putting ourselves on pedestals and becoming a lover of self in the arrogant and cocky sense. Self-care is about recognizing and acknowledging that nourishing the root system of our lives will determine the quality of the fruit we will eventually produce. This nourishment could mean:

  • Praying
  • Fasting from food
  • Fasting from Social Media
  • Stepping back, taking breaks from work
  • Meditating, reading, thinking
  • Crying when we need to
  • Talking when we need to
  • Being silent when we need to
  • Writing (non-business related)

What are some ways you nourish your root system? What keeps you grounded? Comment below!


Don’t forget to preorder

Keep Yourself Full in ebook below!

Free with Kindle Unlimited

****

CLICK HERE TO PREORDER.

CLICK HERE TO MARK AS

WANT TO READ ON GOODREADS

(This book will be available in ebook and paperback
when it releases on August 6th)

About.

 

Keep Yourself Full is a spiritual handbook that focuses on our return to self-love. It is a reminder that self-care nourishes the quality of our lives and makes us fit to be of service to others. Through my testimony, I give examples of how we self-abuse and how that differs from self-love, why it is essential not to take things so personally, why we must establish and enforce healthy boundaries, and how assumptions kill relationships. We learn that by investing in our well-being spiritually, physically, mentally, and professionally, we can be of service fully to others. It cannot be ignored that we treat others how we feel about ourselves. When we realize that what we do to others, we are equally doing to ourselves, we can use this awareness to heal. By treating ourselves better, we treat others better. Keep Yourself Full is about keeping ourselves filled with love and all that is good so that we are overflowing with enough to share with everyone else.

CLICK HERE TO PREORDER.


poetry contest
3rd Annual Poetry Contest: Time is seriously flying by. August will be here before you know it! If you have not already, be sure to enter this year’s contest BEFORE August 1st!

Click here or the hyperlink above to learn how to enter

Careful Not to Tie Your Self-Worth into Not Achieving Your Goals

After much thought, I pushed the release for Keep Yourself Full (my first Inspirational Non-Fiction book) back to August (now reflected in the sidebar….new release date is 8/6). There’s a lot going on in July. The Book Festival, the Book Signing before that, our mini family road trip (next week! yayy) and I’m back in school so there’s no way I’ll have time to focus on releasing another book in the same month. This led me to a reminder I think we all need to hear every now and again.

Raise your hand if you get down on yourself when you do not accomplish what you set out to do. Maybe you had to push a date back, abandon a project or maybe you failed at executing something. I’ll be the first to raise mine. I get so frustrated, but I’ve learned something along the way: not to tie not achieving a goal to my self-worth. I am still worthy even if I do not achieve what I set out to when I set out to. My purpose is the same and my time will come. (Rom. 8:28)

“By tying your self-love and self-acceptance to a goal, your happiness corresponds to its achievement. When you reach your goal, your self-esteem rises temporarily; when you don’t, you think less of yourself as you have chosen to conditionally love yourself based on the success or failure of your obtaining this goal. Now the expectation of what “should be,” controls you.”

– The Mastery of Self by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr, son of Don Miguel, author of The Four Agreements.

The Mastery of Self is a great inspirational read. I just finished it and it has helped me tremendously in this decision. I recommend it. (The Fifth Agreement is also a decent read, though not as good as The Four Agreements in my opinion.) Goals help to keep us accountable but not achieving them does not make us useless or unimportant. Rest when you need to. Push that date back if you need to. Don’t rush. What is yours is still yours. It will wait for you. Even if you need to ghost Social Media for a while. Take care of yourself. We will be here when you get back.

3 Life Lessons from the Story of Creation

#1: Celebrate Along the Way

After everything Yah created, he stopped to praise the work he had done. When he created the lights, it was good. When he created the expanse, it was good. When he created the land and the waters and the sun and the stars and so on, Yah stopped to acknowledge that what he had just created was good. In our own lives, we must learn to celebrate our success along the way and not just what we consider great successes but small ones too. And when I say small I am talking about being able to get out of the bed in the morning. When I say small I mean getting your children ready for school. When I say small I mean cooking for your family. When I say small I mean being able to have a warm cup of coffee in the morning or a cool glass of wine in the evenings. This is surplus. Anytime we can have more than the bare minimum, it’s surplus. Its extra. So when I say small I mean being successful at just getting through the day without going insane.

Miserable people will try to criticize your joy. They will say things like, “ain’t nobody happy all the time.” While you certainly won’t be happy all the time, you don’t have to be happy to be thankful. We must learn not to just promote praise among those finished projects but to also see the good in the unfinished. We must learn to be grateful during the bad times, the tired times, the frustrating times, and the sad times because these are the most important times. In fact, these hard times are probably even more important than the good times because the hard times are cultivating something in you. You are being prepared for something. You are being strengthened for a work. Additionally, being grateful for what you have and celebrating on the way to where you are going builds healthy self-esteem. When you stop and give praise for everything that you have, even if you don’t have what you want, you begin to feel better about yourself, about your life and about who you are.

#2: It’s a Process

Certainly, the Almighty Power could have created everything in one day. Certainly, he is powerful enough and more than capable of doing it but instead, Yah took six days. He took his time making sure that the world was perfect for those who would inhabit it. In our own lives, we must understand that everything is a process. You cannot expect to have everything figured out at one time and you can’t expect to have everything you need at one time. You may find one piece of the puzzle today and the next piece may not come until next month or next year. The next piece may not come until you are mature enough to receive that piece. It may not come until you are in a place mentally to receive it.

Greatness doesn’t just happen. It is a result of years of work, of trial, of failure, and of learning. It is a culmination of experiences and setbacks. It is a process. We must learn to allow ourselves to be nurtured and to be prepared for our destiny and our purpose.

#3: Rest

The creator of everything certainly does not need to rest in the way that we do and as previously stated, certainly he could have created everything in one day and be done with it. But he didn’t and I believe it was to show us something. After six days Yah rested on the seventh day and set this day apart. In our own lives, we must understand that there’s no such thing as this 24-hour working life we see on social media and television. You cannot expect to work until you are exhausted and still expect to have enough energy to be productive. Rest and vacation have become a privilege in this world and that’s a shame. Rest is not some privilege. Rest is a necessity. We cannot expect to be 100 every single day. That’s not realistic. Rest is just as important as work is.

Sleep plays an important role in your physical health and is involved in healing and repair of your heart and blood vessels. Going without sleep or rest is linked to an increased risk of heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and stroke. This is because our bodies are designed to refuel during rest. This is when we get our wind back. You can run non-stop until you are out of breath and falling over or you can walk and pace yourself so that you have enough endurance to make it to the end. We can try and mimic the “hustle” and “grind” of everyone else and run our health into the ground. Or we can take some time to rest our bodies, our hearts, and our minds.

Don’t be an Empty Cup 

Well said. Excellent post Whitney.

Write, Live and Love

Have you ever felt like you had absolutely nothing left to give of yourself, yet people still continued to pull you in every direction, demanding your attention?

Remember to take some time for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

🙂

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