No Whining Wednesday – The Strength in Others

Welcome back to No Whining Wednesday, your (and mine!) weekly reminder not to whine, complain, or criticize for this twenty-four hour period. If you’re new to this blog or this segment, please refer to the first post HERE which explains in detail. (You can also see the other weeks we’ve done so far. Just click on the pingbacks)

The No Whining Wednesday Badge

Today’s reminder is all about looking for the strength in others, instead of the weaknesses:

“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
– Daisaku Ikeda

We have a habit of seeing only the bad in people. Every day we place judgment on others in subtle ways. Maybe we saw a blog post we didn’t agree with so we murmured under our breaths. Maybe someone bypassed us on the street and we wondered why they wore those shoes. Maybe we rolled our eyes because someone did something we thought was the wrong thing to do. Maybe an author is not winning in our eyes. Maybe he or she is losing because they aren’t doing it the way we’ve been taught it should be done. Maybe, maybe, maybe. These “maybies” add up. Sometimes they come out of our mouths. Other times they stay in our heads. Either way, consciously or subconsciously, we tend to see the negative in people first and then, only if we’ve chosen to accept the person anyway, do we see the good.

What if we could see the good first? What if instead of counting my weaknesses, you can count my strengths? What if instead of seeing what I am doing wrong, you can see what I am doing right? Today, try not to criticize people’s imperfections. Instead, look for their strengths.

“Don’t criticize what you don’t understand, son. You never walked in that man’s shoes.”
– Elvis Presley

I challenge you to list a strength you see in someone in your life in the comments section! Could be a fellow blogger, author, sister, brother, mom, friend. Anyone in your life. (You cannot talk about yourself).

To Write a Heart

How do we trace the outlines of the invisible?
where despair won’t touch you gentle
and secret won’t fingerprint its way out of chest
and won’t poetry its way out of fear
the darkened cave of mankind’s deepest secrets
and treasured desires
the place he enters through the mind
tucking away all inner thought
inner being
inner wish
inner fantasy
that real self
hiding in thought
a storage place for his hopes
his hatreds
dreams and guilt
a peeled off echo of coming and going and knowing better
this is his resort
his vacation away from himself
his place of residence
he lives here
inside the cave made of chest
the place he thinks no one will ever find
can we write the heart?
take it beating
bleeding
and dripping with genuine
soaking with regret,
and repentance,
and expectation,
and nerves all tender like
hanging suspended in the air
or on the closet hooks of his thoughts
under the bed spread of memory
flowing back and forth like waves
we stand knee deep in his tears
our clothing soaked with his love
and his hatred too
can we contextualize the heart?
twist it
turn it
influence its shape so that it fits on these lines
can I drink your thoughts?
so that you relate to lyric
and your heart fits the silhouette of this pen
and puts a dent in white paper

5 Ways Reading Influences Your Perspective

I speak a lot on this blog about the power of perspective and not being limited in thought. As I made my coffee yesterday morning and thinking about a book I needed to finish, I thought about reading and the profound role that literacy plays in our lives. Perspective can be defined as:

“…a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.”

#1 You Are What You Read

The saying, “you are what you eat,” is used to convey the message that we should be careful what we are putting into our bodies. A stunning new report from the World Health Organization has concluded that there is clear scientific evidence that eating pork leads to cancer, and I am not just saying this because I don’t eat pork. An overindulgence in snacks such as processed foods is also not good and can hurt the kidneys and harm weight.

Just like we are what we eat, we are also what we read!

What you put into your mind has the power to change you for better or for worse.

#2. Reading One Type of Book

Do this, and you will indeed be confined to one form of thought. You can be passionate without being limited. There are books about black history that are not written by African Americans, and while I get how that sounds counterproductive, there is still some useful information in some of these books. I don’t neglect to read them because the author is not black. (I don’t even believe in white or black people. I use these terms specifically for understanding, but I believe in nations, not colors.) I read Urban Fiction sometimes, and sometimes I read Western Literature. I will not be boxed in, and I will not be limited.

#3. Neglecting Indie Authors

Readers should not limit themselves to reading only Traditionally Published books. Because you have read one poorly written Indie book, and now every Self-Published book is not good? The Shack, a book I own and have used for research for many years, started as a Self-Published Book. It became a USA Today Best Seller and is being made into a movie.

As an Independent Author, I must support this community. If I am reading something, like a classic novel, I make sure that I also have an Indie book to read, and since I am a book blogger, I always have an Indie book on hand.

Indie books also tend to be cheaper than Trad, so there’s really no excuse. You probably spend more on lunch and coffee. Two dollars and under a month (for an eBook) is not expensive. Go the extra mile and buy the paperback. Pick an Indie Author whose books you love that are well-written and support them. Or, pick a slew of Indie Authors and purchase at least one book a month. How can you really support Indie Authors (or change the way you think of us) if you don’t read our books? How can you say all Independent books suck if you’ve never read any?

#4. Neglecting Trad. Published / Classics

The door swings both ways, people. Don’t neglect the Traditionally Published books and Classics either. Mainly since many of them are well-written. This next part may be sensitive for some of you, but it is the truth:

Be Careful Reading Poorly Written Books

This is mainly for the writers out there. Balance is everything. I’m an Indie Author, and I support Indie Authors, but disregarding the elephant in the room is just naive. While I enjoy Indie books, not all Indie books are well-written.

I have a genuine love for reading, so it matters little to me how a book is published. I read Indie books, classics, and traditionally published books. This is important to me because if you keep reading books that are not up to par, you can only begin to write just the same.

I am not saying Indie books can’t compete with literary classics or traditional publishing. I am saying there are still lots of Self-Published books that are just not well-written. To continue to read this kind of material is counterproductive.

#5. Morals / Values

I saved this for last because I know how sensitive we are about anything that we “perceive” to be religious. However, it must be brought up and goes back to the first bullet point: You are what you read.

There are lots of great books for research purposes, and then there are books that are not worth the time. 

While some readers are strong enough to “chew the meat and spit out the bones” – meaning to dissect the worthy information and apply it without ingesting the falsehood – some readers are too sensitive to do so. In other words, it wouldn’t take much convincing for them to be negatively influenced or adopt a foreign belief.

If you know that you are easily swayed and unstable in your thoughts, you may want to stay away from particular literature that has the potential to change who you are.

Sure, I have books on the importance of watching what I eat, but I will not become a vegetarian Goddess who condemns all meat-eaters because we should love animals.

That’s what I am talking about. 

As I say, staying true to yourself is a priority. Some books are not worth the time, and we must learn to discern what those books are. People walk around, like reading is always a good thing. In some instances, it is not. Everything has a balance to it. Some books are bad for you, just like there is food that is bad for you. Make sure that as you read, you are also paying attention to yourself. Reading can influence your perspective in more ways than one.

Are you attending the #IndieAuthorFringe event? 18th March #writers #authors

YO! AUTHORS! Check it out. This is what I mean by attending FREE online webinars and conferences to aid in your education when you cannot afford to pay for a live one. This is a FREE, online global conference for authors, run fringe to the major book fairs: London, BEA & Frankfurt Bookfairs, broadcasting 24 sessions of author education over 24 continuous hours, so that authors around the world attend some live sessions, no matter where they’re located.

The Author Media Kit: How it Helps Me to Stay Organized

Since I got my butt kicked editing the hard-copy of my author media kit yesterday (the longer one I print out, not the one in the sidebar) I figure it will be the topic of today’s discussion. IT owes me that much!

I have slowed down my writing articles a lot lately so I figure we were due for one. I’ll discuss why I’ve slowed down at a later time. Anywho, the author media kit…

Though “It is always worth it” (See my most recent guest post here), that doesn’t mean it’s not important to focus on putting energy toward the right things (balance is seriously everything!) Energy and time spent directed toward the wrong thing is just as ineffective as no energy toward the work at all. Running into a wall will produce the same thing as standing still. It is insanity, repeating the same thing and expecting a different result. Posting everyday on your blog will not bring more views if you aren’t also networking with others or people can’t even find a follow button on your blog at which to follow your blog (my most serious blog pet peeve!) That is why I have shifted my perspective and started to focus on activities that will give me a return on my time. It is about growth.

20170308_220911
Partial snapshot of the office and my unorganized work-space. Yes, I work from two computers. One is responsible for holding my sticky notes lol

At some point in your writing life, you are going to have to get a bit organized. Whether that is posting sticky notes on your computer as reminders (guilty), keeping a notebook filled with notes you may or may not be able to read (guilty again), or having an author media kit.

I’ve been updating my writing life in more ways than one and have found that being able to go to my author media kit for links has been a great help in getting things done. What is an author media kit anyway?

An Author Media Kit is a collection of marketing material that anyone wishing to know more about you as an author can access and use for articles they may want to write on you, interviews, and other forms of publicity. It is a collection of branded hype-free marketing materials and collateral material for journalists.

The media kit is always a work-in-progress. It is something that must be revisited and added to as you gain more exposure for your work and should be both electronic and hard-copy. (You can find my e-copy on the sidebar of this blog HERE. It’s a little bootleg but I’m working on it). It doesn’t matter where you are in your career, every writer can use a media kit. This means that your “status” as a writer has nothing to do with it. Whether you have twenty book reviews or none, whether you are a Best Seller or novice, whether you’re a Self-Publishing “Pro” or not, whether you are visible in the community or not. All of this has nothing to do with the Author Media Kit. Easy to put together if you invest the time, you do not need any special skill set, training, or experience. In fact, the author media kit can be bought if you have the money and is not something you send out to people in the form of a “Buy my Book” Ad.

“Luck is preparation meeting the moment of opportunity.” – Oprah Winfrey

Look at it as an opportunity to prepare. When the door opens for you to appear on someone’s radio show or your article to be featured in a magazine or whatever you consider “doing it big”, the media kit will come in handy. In fact, the interviewer will refer to the kit for basic information on you as his form of preparation and research.

The Author Media Kit is:

  • A major marketing package
  • Anyone should be able to access it through your website/blog
  • Journalist expect it
  • Ensures accuracy in news stories
  • Helps people to promote you and your book
  • Free publicity – Free publicity beats paid Ads

7 Key Audiences Who Will Access Your Media Kit

  1. Journalist – Broadcasters, Talk Show Hosts
  2. Bloggers – Easy access to photos bloggers can use, social media handles
  3. Reviewers— Amazon reviews in your kit
  4. Retailers
  5. Individual Buyers
  6. Event Planners
  7. Anyone Who Wants to Promote you or Your Book

The primary goal of the media Kit is to make all these people’s job easier. By making their job easy, they are going to promote you and your book.

Caution.
The Author Media Kit is not something you send out to people as a “Buy My Book” Ad. It is something that is offered in the event someone needs more information on you. It is also there in the event someone happens to organically come across your website. All the information they need to know about you is right there. It is not even for you, but for others.

Personally, it helps me to stay organized and cut down on a lot of time. It helps me to:

  • Easily access social media links and photos for guest blog posts
  • Easily update my author website or anything else that may require such info as contact emails and links
  • Copy and paste needed info into emails of inquiry
  • Share across social media in the event someone is looking for more information about me.

I can go on but you get the point. It even helps in the case of Book Reviews! Are you tired of having to send your social media handles out? Author photos? Send the reviewer to your Author Media Kit. There, they can find author photos, social media links, and anything else that they need and so can you.

Not only does the Author Media Kit help others to find you but it helps you too.  My online Media Kit (which needs work itself but that’s the kit for you. It will always need an upgrade!) is working for me right now. I can go to it for my social media links and my bios for the website, cutting down on time I can now spend doing something else.

(Speaking of Bio, it is good to have at least 3 different sized bios in case someone wants to write something on you and they may not have a lot of time. They can copy and paste the short one or the extended one according to their schedule. It is good to have a short bio, a medium length bio, and an extended bio.)

It’s about taking the steps needed so that you do not drown in this sea that is Indie Publishing by making yourself easier to find. Just like genuinely supporting others, by making the job of others easier you naturally become better. (Also, write your bio in 3rd person so people can cut and paste it. Again, the job of the Author Media Kit is to make the job easier for whoever is reaching out to you.)


Yecheilyah Ysrayl is the author of The Stella Trilogy, Blogger, and Poet. She is currently working to release two books in “The Nora White Story” this year–about a young woman who dreams of taking part in The Harlem Renaissance movement and her parents struggle to accept their traumatic past in the Jim Crow south. “Renaissance: The Nora White Story (Book One)” is due for release July 15, 2017. For updates on this and other projects be sure to follow this blog and to subscribe to Yecheilyah’s email list HERE.

It is Worth It – Guest Post by Yecheilyah Ysrayl…

My Guest Blog Post with Chris Graham. My message today is “It Is Worth It”. This is for the writers underground. Underground is the place where people are tilling soil, laying seeds and preparing for harvest. Keep striving! DON’T give up! Why? Because it’s worth it.

Chris The Story Reading Ape's avatarChris The Story Reading Ape's Blog

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Peace to everyone reading this post at this moment, for sharing these words on your blogs, and for giving me the opportunity to speak. I am grateful for the support and for the opportunity to build with you.

Frustration, depression, sadness, and lack of hope is something that everyone experiences at one time or another. These spirits are most especially present in the ambitious person. The man or woman who desires to go above and beyond. The person who strives for excellence, who strives to do anything beyond the norm, anything great, anything outside the box, and anything noble can be sure to experience these low points somewhere down the line.

Any writer who is really seeking to make a difference, not just to pen empty words on a page but to literally carve purpose into ink and to do it so powerfully that it breaks down mental barriers, this…

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