Tag: authentic

Your Authentic Self

Photo by Valeriia Miller

In 2020, I thought TikTok was an app for children doing dances to go viral. That is until I went mini-viral myself.

Only I wasn’t dancing, singing, or participating in trends.

I was talking about books, poetry, and Black history.

The impact of people tuning in for these topics in a world where people read comments and captions on social media more than they read full-length books is not lost on me and quite humbling.

I posted a video at the end of 2023 showing the books I read that year, and it currently has over 9K views, over 800 likes, and 453 saves…

…and I’m only showing books!

No words. No explanations. Just a showcase of about six books I enjoyed this year and a dope song to go with it.

Photo by Kishan Rahul Jose

If you are a creative in any field and want to advance this year in a certain area, I hope this inspires you to tap into the power of your authentic self.

You don’t have to be on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube if you do not feel drawn to those platforms. The one calling out to you won’t feel forced, and you will never have to act out of character to succeed.

You can discern this is not just about TikTok and social media platforms.

When we open ourselves up to being the most authentic versions of ourselves, no matter where we are, doors open that we don’t even have to knock on. We won’t have to chase opportunities; they come to us.

Here I am, getting viral-like numbers for discussing topics the average young person would typically find boring in a traditional classroom.

And I’m not even posting every day.

It’s spiritual, how things align when we show up as who we are.

You Don’t Have to Do What Everyone Else is Doing

I like following authors on Social Media who post about things other than their books. I wanna know that you are human and alive, that you laugh and experience pain and joy and all those other emotions.

I don’t care for how neat your Instagram page is or how color coordinated you can make it. I don’t care about every post being your book cover or matching your book cover. Yayy for your book, but after a while, that gets boring without a balance.

What’s your favorite food? What was the last movie that made you cry? How did you get into writing? What books are you in love with? How ya mama doing?

If you like to joke, joke. If you a nerd, be a nerd. Do what works for you, not what the self-proclaimed guru says is important. (Personally, I can’t stand the fun police 😒.)

This post came randomly as I am supposed to be taking a break, but ya’ll know I can’t sit still. The point of it all is you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.

Now, let me go back to watching Soul Food. I’ll have an update post for you soon. It’s been a while since we’ve had a coffee date anyway.

BTW, the last day to enter this year’s poetry contest is tomorrow! Click Here for details on entering.

Unless you live in Chicago, it can be nice one day and then cold and rainy. In this case, stay warm smh lol.

Your Whole Self

I am reposting this because I needed the reminder, and I thought since I needed the reminder, I am sure others may need to hear it. If you are new to this blog, you are also new to this post. Enjoy!

Oct. 2020, Memphis, TN

I started thinking about the many layers of myself and how I notice that people pick the parts of me they like.

Some people love the silly me. They like when I post funny memes and do silly things.

Some people like intellectual me. They love when I talk about black history and little-known facts.

Some people love the lover in me. They like to see my husband and me together, loving one another and having a good time.

Some people want the spiritual me. They like to hear me quote scriptures and talk about the bible.  They like prophetic me.

Some people like fiction me. They enjoy my novels and short stories.

Others like the poet me.

I’ve learned from life that you’ll meet so many people throughout a lifetime, and they will pick the parts of you they like best.

But you know, as I know, every part of you helps to build you into the person you are.

What I realized today was the importance of accepting your whole self, even if others reject parts of you.

“I have learned not to let rejection move me.” – Cicely Tyson

People may pick the parts of me they like, but it is my responsibility to pick my whole self. I am all of the things people love (and don’t love) rolled up into one. I am not a scattered puzzle. I am a body, and each of my body parts helps me be the full and whole person I am.

While it may be optional for others to pick and choose, it is not optional for me to choose. It is my responsibility to accept myself fully, the good, bad, and the ugly.

When we start to favor one part of ourselves over another because we see it is what people like most, we lose the other parts of ourselves. And since we need every part to make up a full body, in a sense, we lose ourselves.

People who do not vibe with the whole, the full person you are, are not your people.

Remember that there are layers of you, and though people will choose the layer they like best, it is your job to choose your whole self.

That is how you show up as your authentic self.

Authentic Support

As an author, I am always thinking about ways I can add value to my audience. It’s easy to point the finger when you don’t see people being as supportive as you think they should be, but I am the person who will always look at me first. In doing this, I have thought about what support means, not from an author/entrepreneur perspective, but from the perspective of the reader/audience member. Why? Because I was a reader before I was a writer.

This has led me to think about the importance of authentic support.

I think authenticity is important even when supporting others. No one can be bullied, into supporting. It has to be in them to do it. It has to be part of who they are. People have to be passionate about whatever it is they are supporting.

Authentic – true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character 

It was easy to get upset with people for not being supportive until I realized the truth: People support what is true to their personality, spirit, or character. It doesn’t matter if we are of the same family, organization, or group. People will support what is in alignment with who they are. It has to speak to them.

There must be some connection or commonality between the supporter and the movement, some kind of bridge connecting the two that makes the support worth it. When I think of it this way, I am more at ease with those who don’t support me because I realize it’s not personal. If the support is to be genuine, the person must first feel some kind of connection to whatever it is they are supporting.

I can’t speak for others, but I know that in my experience in the Indie Author community there is a lot of talk about being supportive but the thing is, people, don’t support just for the sake of supporting. I know we would like to think of it this way but that’s not the truth. If I am being real with myself and looking at this from the reader/audience/observer’s perspective then I have to admit that we support what we believe in. If what is being offered isn’t in agreement with that belief, we will probably be less supportive.

I learned that if I am being my authentic self, then I will attract authentic support.

Hard Truth: Self-Love is Not a Social Media Movement of Posting Pictures of Yourself on the Internet

Hard Truth: Self-Love is not a social media movement of posting lots of pictures of ourselves on the internet.

And don’t twist my words. There is nothing wrong with posting pictures (I do it all the time).

You are allowed to post what you want.

But we also live in a time where it has become cool to post nothing but pictures of ourselves. To talk about ourselves and to make everything about us.

How many of us constantly posting pictures of ourselves actually have low self-esteem?

How many of us are seeking validation?

I don’t know when this became a trend, but it’s important to remember that a selfie is not necessarily a reflection of self-love.

Self-Care is an inside job. Most of the work is done in private and if done genuinely, has the power to show up naturally and authentically on the outside.

Self-love and self-care are also about balance. Thinking less of yourself is not humility. Low self-esteem is not humility. Constantly doubting yourself and being afraid to shine because of what other people will think of you is not humility. You are allowed to be both humble in confidence and courageous in character.

Everything in our lives, from our relationships to how we run our businesses reflects how we feel about ourselves.

Do the inside work.

When it’s cold outside, I sit in the house, drink coffee, sign and ship books. Does one of these have your name on it?? There is still time to grab your tickets to the Texas “Keep Yourself Full” signing on Nov. 30th!! Link below.

>>>Get Tickets Here<<<

Throwback Thursday Jam – India Aire: Because I am a Queen

Sometimes I wax my eyebrows

and sometimes I don’t

Sometimes I re-twist my hair

and sometimes I won’t

depend on how the wind blows

I may just paint my toes

it really just depends on whatever feels good to my soul

I’m not the average girl from your video

and my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

no matter what I’m wearing I will always be

EC! 🙋🏾‍♀️

Ayee lol 🎤💃👀