Hard Truth: Self-Love is Not a Social Media Movement of Posting Pictures of Yourself on the Internet


Hard Truth: Self-Love is not a social media movement of posting lots of pictures of ourselves on the internet.

And don’t twist my words. There is nothing wrong with posting pictures (I do it all the time).

You are allowed to post what you want.

But we also live in a time where it has become cool to post nothing but pictures of ourselves. To talk about ourselves and to make everything about us.

How many of us constantly posting pictures of ourselves actually have low self-esteem?

How many of us are seeking validation?

I don’t know when this became a trend, but it’s important to remember that a selfie is not necessarily a reflection of self-love.

Self-Care is an inside job. Most of the work is done in private and if done genuinely, has the power to show up naturally and authentically on the outside.

Self-love and self-care are also about balance. Thinking less of yourself is not humility. Low self-esteem is not humility. Constantly doubting yourself and being afraid to shine because of what other people will think of you is not humility. You are allowed to be both humble in confidence and courageous in character.

Everything in our lives, from our relationships to how we run our businesses reflects how we feel about ourselves.

Do the inside work.


When it’s cold outside, I sit in the house, drink coffee, sign and ship books. Does one of these have your name on it?? There is still time to grab your tickets to the Texas “Keep Yourself Full” signing on Nov. 30th!! Link below.

>>>Get Tickets Here<<<

Throwback Thursday Jam – India Aire: Because I am a Queen

Sometimes I wax my eyebrows

and sometimes I don’t

Sometimes I re-twist my hair

and sometimes I won’t

depend on how the wind blows

I may just paint my toes

it really just depends on whatever feels good to my soul

I’m not the average girl from your video

and my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

no matter what I’m wearing I will always be

EC! 🙋🏾‍♀️

Ayee lol 🎤💃👀

Be Authentic: Message to New Indie Authors

In, building connections as a writer on social media, it’s important that you are authentic in those interactions. What does this mean? It means to be genuine and true, to be real but what does this mean? To be genuine and true is to be yourself in a way that does not force others to accept you, but brings together those who share the same passion as you do. People can tell if you are sharing something just to sell your books or sharing something because you deeply love it and you care about sharing that love with others for their benefit. You genuinely want to educate people, inspire people, empower people, or you want to make them laugh, or help them to heal or evolve. What people get out of getting to know more about you? What value do you offer that helps to make their lives better? This is what building relationships are about. It’s not so much about the book itself, it’s more who you are, who we all are and how your book seeks to make us better. It doesn’t matter if you write fiction or non-fiction, in what way are we better from reading your book? This answer is revealed in your genuine interactions with others. People can tell if the information you are sharing is not authentic. We can tell if you’re sharing something just to sell your book versus sharing something because you want us to be better.

The problem is not that “artistry” doesn’t sell. There is no debate to be had about writing as an art and as a business. It is both. Integrity is everything and I personally believe no one should ever compromise that. Even more so, I believe it is this very integrity that makes us interested in an artist in the first place whether that artist is an author or musician or painter. There’s this debate about wanting to make real money from writing or treating it as an art I do not understand. There is no competition to be had. It is possible to be a serious businessperson and artist at the same time. The problem is too many new Indie authors aren’t authentic about the art enough to build trust among readers to the extent that we care about supporting that author’s work.

This isn’t about trying to find anyone to read our books. You are in search of people who share your passions, goals, and belief system. You aren’t here to force people to share those passions and beliefs but to connect with those who do. This isn’t about trying to make people like you. This is about genuinely connecting with those who do. These are authentic connections. It doesn’t matter how many times you talk about your book if I know nothing about you or share your vision or if I don’t care about what you are bringing to the table, I am not buying the book and I am not the reader you want. You don’t want me. You want the reader interested in the value you are bringing. To get here is to start with offering value where being yourself is not a gimmick.


If you would like to take the step toward helping your potential readers to get to know more about you and your passions and how you can help to make us better through your writing, be sure to take part in my Author Introduce Yourself Feature, specifically designed to help us to get to know you better. Learn how to do so HERE and stay tuned for tomorrow’s featured author.

Also, don’t forget that FOUR of my books are on sale for the month of February. If you are into Black Historical Fiction, Women’s Fiction or poetry, choose your favorite book by clicking HERE and pay just 99cents from now through 2/28. 

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews: /’NAKEED/: a bare soul by Shequila Knighten

Title: /’NAKEED/:…a bare soul

Author: Shequila Knighten

Genre: Poetry

Published: November 1, 2018

ASIN: B07K3YDKS9

Pages: 111

*I  was gifted a copy of this book but it was so good that I decided to purchase it in support of the author*

 

I am excited to be doing reviews again and boy do I have a tasty one for you today! I love poetry, have written four collections myself and hosted two poetry contests so far on this blog. For these reasons, it was probably surprising that I opted not to review poetry when I first started. One of the reasons was because I found it difficult to judge. Poetry is very personal and intimate and I don‘t think there’s any such thing as bad poetry. But, since my last contest (where we read over and critiqued tons of poems) I decided to review poetry books on this blog and since coming in contact with Knighten, I am glad I changed my mind!

/NAKEED/: a bare soul is a collection of love poems from an amazing poet, Shequila Knighten and her journey of discovering her authentic self. Upon the first read, you may mistakenly think these are poems mostly about a woman’s relationship with a man but as you continue, you’ll find it is much more than that. There is romance but on a deeper level these are poems about a woman’s love for herself, a journey of healing through heartbreak, depression, and facing insecurities. These poems are beautifully written and what I liked most is that the pieces are raw but not vulgar which is not easy to do. There‘s a sexiness to them but Shequila’s lyrics are elegant, strong and inspiring.

“He had a voice smooth as a saxophone…”

“they say time heals all wounds…I think my watch died…”

“insecurity established a deep-rooted self-hate growing in my womb…”

Whew. See what I mean fam? I am hoping Shequila will consider entering my next poetry contest! We will see. In the meantime, be sure to pick up your copy of /NAKEED/ which is just 99cents on Amazon!

Lyrical Factor: 5/5

Thought Provoking: 5/5

Authenticity / Believable: 5/5

Overall: 5/5

/NAKEED/: a Bare Soul is available now on Amazon. Click Here.


About Shequila Knighten

Shequila is a writer of poetry and inspirational blogger. She became a writer after growing up with the constant fear of people not understanding her speaking what’s on her mind, so writing became her outlet. Starting with poetry, she released her first book of poems, /’NAKEED/.  She now lives by the motto, ”if you can’t speak it, write it; your point will still be heard.” Shequila currently resides in Southwest Florida with her three children.
Want me to review your book on this blog? Learn how HERE.

YouTube: New Poem Added! Listen to “All or Nothing” #Poetry #SpokenWord

It’s no longer National Poetry Month but ya’ll know it’s always time for poetry around here! All or Nothing (read it here) is now available. Listen below and don’t forget to subscribe!

SUBSCRIBE HERE

Thank you for taking this Vlogging journey with me! It’s never easy stepping out and I appreciate your support. Be sure to subscribe for notification of newly added poems.

No Whining Wednesday – Don’t Drown Your Own Voice

Welcome back to another No Whining Wednesday! If this is your first time visiting this blog or if you are new to this segment, please visit the original No Whining Wednesday post HERE to learn more OR the No Whining Wednesday Page to access all previous episodes.

The No Whining Wednesday Badge

 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Those who screw up and keep going have failed so many times that they are equipped to handle disappointment and therefore have the maturity and resilience to get back up and try again. You got this.”

– Yecheilyah

This was an inspirational word I posted to my social media early this week. I love quotes, inspirational, motivational and overall uplifting. There is something about the power of a positive word that can make you feel like you can conquer the world. When someone compliments you or gives you that good advice, something in your heart flutters and for a moment, all is right. This feeling may only last a second but in that time, all is right in the world. Or at least, in your world. This is so vital and so needed because there are not a lot of people investing good into the world. There are not a lot of people building up.

But, despite how much I love inspiring quotes and how much I read them, something struck me this week. While inspirational quotes from others is nice, there’s nothing wrong with using our own words to inspire others as well. Your experiences are unique to you. Your pain is unique to you. Your happiness is unique to you. Your life is your own. That is not to say there’s no power higher than you (ya’ll know better) but you have to walk these shoes is what I am saying. You have to plant these seeds.

That said, don’t sleep on yourself. You have the wisdom that comes from living and with that something to offer the world but if you never allow your voice to be heard, it can be drowned out by the voices of others.

What if I don’t know enough?

That has nothing to do with it. You don’t have to be perfect to share something that may help others. Personally, I am moved by realness. I want to know about real life situations because your struggles and how you overcome them is what connects you with other human beings. People who talk about their issues and how they’re dealing relate more to others than those who are somewhere in heaven.

Instead of relying so much on the words of others, sometimes it’s OK to give of our own pearls.

Every now and again, use the power of your own experience to inspire others and to lift yourself up. After all, it is what the people we quote have done themselves. They didn’t speak thinking we would quote them. They spoke because it was necessary and now their words have lived on throughout the centuries.

Integrity

I really dislike this day and age where everyone wants to be seen and praised and prized. Purposely present to spew pillars of knowledge pulled and preserved for a time. No one wants to be silent but everyone wants to be wise. So we selfie our way into stardom on the ground. No one wants to stand behind the curtain or risk being forgotten, or admit that integrity is doing what’s right …even when no one’s looking.