No Whining Wednesday – It is Easier to Walk When It’s Not Raining

Wow. It’s been sooo long since we’ve had a No Whining Wednesday episode! I have officially fallen off. But, I’m back. If you are new to this blog be sure to click here to learn more about what NWW is all about.

The No Whining Wednesday Badge

 

I don’t open up much on social media. Not that I am hiding anything. It is just that social media, with a few exceptions, is not real. It is virtual reality. A place people go to hide their flaws, criticize others, and pretend that their lives are great. This is annoying and I find myself not wanting to be involved except in sharing my writing. I log in, post up and log off. Sometimes (every other month), I deactivate my Facebook account completely. Social media is good for business but it is an energy exchange like everything else. I have to cut it off like I cut off toxic energy. I have limited my use to business-related posts only with some motivation thrown in there. Today, I will make an exception and let you in, briefly, on what has been going on with me. I call this, “It is Easier to Walk When It’s Not Raining.”

For a few months, I have not been feeling well. I do not mean physically. I mean emotionally. I have felt unmotivated and uninspired. I had no real reason to feel this way. No one spoke badly of me (not to my face anyway lbs) and I have had no shortage of work. Instead, more opportunities came my way, but it seemed the more events I attended and the more work I did, the less excited I felt. I did not feel unexcited completely. I was and am thankful for the opportunities that come to me. I was just not over the top and I know I should have been. I know I should be. So, what gives?

Part of this reason is the lack of support I have received. This is only a small part (I know it is much deeper than this), but it is a part. As I reflected on myself and my work, it seemed the more work I did, the less support I received. Despite these feelings, I continued to book work, plan for school and post up about my events. I continued to send emails and update my socials. I continued to do this not to deny my feelings. Nothing goes away just because you ignore it. We must address things. We must address feelings. Energy/Spirits/Vibes must be rebuked, removed, accessed. I continued because when the sun is shining (metaphorically and literally), and the birds are chirping and the sidewalk is clear of obstacles it is much easier to walk. You can circle the block while humming your favorite tune and walk at your own pace. But when it rains, everything changes.

Walking in the rain is easier if you are prepared. If you have an umbrella or raincoat, boots, and good windshield wipers. But your vision is still blurry compared to when it is not raining and you will still have to walk or drive slower than usual. There is also the fear of being struck by lightning, trees crashing into homes and cars, and other factors we must consider during a serious storm.

When we are going through our most difficult times, we want to stop. I have wanted to stop tons of times these past few months. But we shouldn’t stop because these are the most important times. These times, when things are not going well and we feel down, are the times when we are being strengthened. These are the times when we grow the most. Anyone can drive or walk when it’s nice outside and nothing is wrong but not everyone can navigate a storm.

(Do not misunderstand me. I am not saying you have to be “fake positive,” when you are not feeling it. I am more so talking about not giving up when you come in contact with a bad storm in your life).

If you notice something beautiful happens after a good rain. Everything blossoms. The grass is greener, the leaves on the trees are fuller, and if you planted something, watch out! That something will grow tremendously. Therefore, instead of stopping when things are bad we should just keep going. We are not falling apart. As painful as it is, we are growing.We are being prepared, positioned, aligned.

If you have ever felt how I have felt, please do not stop. Just keep at it. Keep doing what you are doing. Be patient with yourself and have faith that your purpose will be revealed in time. It is always easier to walk when it’s not raining. As the saying goes, “everyone solid until put in hot water,” (Unknown).

It is the storms that ultimately reveal our strengths. From our level of preparation to our discipline and resolve. It is the storms that cultivate something in us and that prepares us for the next level.

Don’t run from the rain. Let yourself grow.

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No Whining Wednesday – Don’t Leave Yourself Behind

Welcome back to No Whining Wednesday! It’s been a minute since our last one so I am excited to be back. If you are new to this blog or new to this segment, please refer to the original post HERE. In brief, this is the day of the week when we do not whine, complain, or criticize. How have you done so far? You know us. We complain before getting out of the bed!

The No Whining Wednesday Badge

 

How often do we attribute complaints to others? Probably about 95% of the time. Someone is always doing something to us, offending us or thinking badly of us in some way. But is it always others or is it us?

The truth is that it’s easier to think more about others than we do about ourselves and let’s face it, that’s a good thing on the surface. You don’t want to be a “lover of self” (2Tim 3:2). But balance is important in every aspect of our lives. It’s important to be there for others but it’s not cool to leave ourselves behind. I’ve learned that complaints are rooted in some form of unhappiness within ourselves. We aren’t the weight we want to be, we aren’t fulfilled at our jobs and relationships, and we are just not happy with ourselves in some capacity.

“As perfectionists, we tend to own other people’s problems. We tend to be fixers and doers. We are attracted to those that need help because of the accomplishment that we feel from helping others. This co-dependent behavior is unhealthy, and often leads to our own unhappiness.” – Source: http://imperfectionistblog.com/2015/04/be-there-for-others-but-never-leave-yourself-behind/

When you are not happy with yourself, everything annoys you and you complain more. The truth is like Dr. Phil said, we can’t control others. We can influence them. We can motivate them. We can inspire them, but we cannot control them. The only people we can control is our own selves. Spend some time with yourself and discover what it is about you that will make you happier and more fulfilled. Take some time to be a little bit selfish. I admit I have been. I have not written many reviews this year and I have not been as supportive as I know that I should. This is not because I have not wanted to. This is because I went through some hurtful things and I needed to make sure that I was good too (without projecting that onto you). I needed to refuel myself and do things that made me happy so that I can be there for others. I needed to take my own advice and keep myself just as full as I was keeping others. I needed to do this because being there for others without being there for myself meant leaving myself behind and leaving myself empty. And when you’re empty, what can you give? Only after you have dealt with you can you sincerely help others.

No Whining Wednesday – Look for Solutions

Welcome back to No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you do not get to whine, criticize, or complain. I missed you all last week! And, I hope you have not been complaining! If you are new to this blog or this segment please check out the first post HERE for more on what this post is all about.

I love the strategy we’re going to talk about today to stop complaining! I didn’t think I would have had the time to get one in today but since I’ll be virtually MIA next week I thought, why not?

Last month, one of our NWW talked about waiting it out. (Read it Here) about being patient when things go astray instead of anxious and frenzied. Today, we’ll use a similar strategy. Except instead of waiting it out, we will look for solutions. It sounds like common sense right? We complain about things that are not going as planned. It seems obvious that the thing to do is to look for a way to solve the problem! Well, this is life and it’s not always this easy. We can never control what kind of day it is going to be because the moment passes quickly.

One minute we are reading a book and the next there’s a thunderstorm that shuts off the electricity. One minute we are happy-go-lucky and the next the feeling of sadness, anger, and frustration overwhelms us. And so we know the challenge of trying to “figure it out” in the midst of chaos. However, if we take from the image above, it makes sense that complaining never solved a problem. It makes us feel good for sure (hey, you gotta get it out sometimes) but overdoing the venting leads to poverty. It literally comes to nothing.

Today, let’s try looking for solutions to those things we complain about and if we are looking for someone to listen, let’s gather the courage to ask! Hey, we’re human and sometimes we complain because we want someone to listen but what if we just reached out? Today, instead of complaining take action.

No Whining Wednesday – Wait It Out

It’s that time of the week again. Welcome back to No Whining Wednesday. The only day of the week where you do not get to whine, criticize, or complain. If you’re new to this blog or new to this segment, please visit the first post HERE for more on what this is about. For those of you who’ve been rocking with us since we started, I hope that you’ve settled into a no complaining routine! OK well, at least on Wednesdays!

The No Whining Wednesday Badge

Today’s motivational quote for not complaining:

“Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.”

~ Brian Adams

I almost complained this morning and the day just started. In fact, I almost complained putting this post together about complaining. Here’s how I stopped myself: I waited to see if I could solve the problem before getting upset.

I don’t know if this will help you but it helped and has helped me on more than one occassion, today being one of them. Sometimes you have to just wait and see what happens. I literally tell myself: “OK, let me try and do this real quick and then I’ll panic.” Well, it works because I usually figure it out and by then the moment has passed.

I came home from out of town one day and couldn’t find an important USB with work on it to which I had not backed up. Worst case scenario is that I’d lost some critical documents. But I decided this day that I didn’t feel like worrying about it (worrying drains your energy too!) so I literally put off looking for a few days.

On the day I decided I needed to find it, I thought about where I seen it last before I panicked. It worked. I found it.

Today, have a little patience. Wait it out and see what happens.

No Whining Wednesday – The Strength in Others

Welcome back to No Whining Wednesday, your (and mine!) weekly reminder not to whine, complain, or criticize for this twenty-four hour period. If you’re new to this blog or this segment, please refer to the first post HERE which explains in detail. (You can also see the other weeks we’ve done so far. Just click on the pingbacks)

The No Whining Wednesday Badge

Today’s reminder is all about looking for the strength in others, instead of the weaknesses:

“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
– Daisaku Ikeda

We have a habit of seeing only the bad in people. Every day we place judgment on others in subtle ways. Maybe we saw a blog post we didn’t agree with so we murmured under our breaths. Maybe someone bypassed us on the street and we wondered why they wore those shoes. Maybe we rolled our eyes because someone did something we thought was the wrong thing to do. Maybe an author is not winning in our eyes. Maybe he or she is losing because they aren’t doing it the way we’ve been taught it should be done. Maybe, maybe, maybe. These “maybies” add up. Sometimes they come out of our mouths. Other times they stay in our heads. Either way, consciously or subconsciously, we tend to see the negative in people first and then, only if we’ve chosen to accept the person anyway, do we see the good.

What if we could see the good first? What if instead of counting my weaknesses, you can count my strengths? What if instead of seeing what I am doing wrong, you can see what I am doing right? Today, try not to criticize people’s imperfections. Instead, look for their strengths.

“Don’t criticize what you don’t understand, son. You never walked in that man’s shoes.”
– Elvis Presley

I challenge you to list a strength you see in someone in your life in the comments section! Could be a fellow blogger, author, sister, brother, mom, friend. Anyone in your life. (You cannot talk about yourself).

No Whining Wednesday – Understand and Appreciate Your Riches

Welcome back to No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you do not get to whine, complain, or criticize. Click Here if you’re new to this segment for more on what this is about.

The No Whining Wednesday Badge

“If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches..”

– Rainer Maria Rilke

Are you rich? Here’s a list to help you to find out. You’re rich if you:

  • Woke up this morning
  • Have a roof over your head
  • You ate today
  • You have someone who loves you
  • You love someone back
  • You have clean water
  • You have food in the refrigerator
  • You have someone who could give you food
  • You have a good heart
  • You wish good for others
  • Someone prayed for you today
  • You prayed for someone today
  • Someone cares for you
  • You have clean clothes
  • You have a washing matching to wash your clothes
  • You know how to wash your clothes on hand
  • You have a dream
  • You know how to read and write
  • You’re breathing right now

Understand and then appreciate your riches. Do that and you will never be disappointed. For the grateful, there is no poverty.

No Whining Wednesday – We Haven’t Finished Yet

Happy Wednesday! Your favorite day of the week 🙂

If you’re new to this blog, learn more about No Whining Wednesday HERE.

The No Whining Wednesday Badge
The No Whining Wednesday Badge

Today’s message came as I was frying chicken strips last night. I was also listening to some throwback jams (preparing for what to choose for tomorrow!) As I was listening I thought about the night before, where I re-watched some of The Five Heartbeats. For those of you who didn’t see my post last Friday, I quoted a line from a movie, well, it was a song and I asked you all if you knew what movie it was from. Since I got no responses I figure I’d tell ya. It was The Five Heartbeats and from the scene, everyone loves – The “We haven’t finished yet” scene. Long story short, I pulled it up on YouTube. As I listened again and again and again and….you get the point, I decided this would be a great inspiring video for No Whining Wednesday!

You’ve gotta listen to the lyrics as you’re listening. Today’s message is simple: You don’t have a reason to complain because you haven’t finished yet. You are still here and, as I always say, you’ve got something to do. Enjoy and remember, today is a day of peace, not war. When you find yourself getting upset focus on rooting yourself in this present moment and don’t forget to BREATHE.

FYI: The video quality is not great but it is the only version on YouTube that played the entire song. If it’s too low you will have to plug in your speakers or headphones but it should be good though.