Be mindful of how you make people feel because that is what they remember most. Whenever sharing negative experiences be sure there is a lesson to be learned or something to be taught from it. Make sure there is something that you can give back as a result of having shared it. Remember that energy you feed gets stronger. If you feed vengeance, complaints, hatred, and strife, these emotions will get stronger and you will unknowingly begin to project these feelings on others and the feelings you don’t feed like love, compassion, forgiveness, and encouragement get choked out.
Listen to Be Mindful of Negative Feelings now on Soundcloud for more and be sure to subscribe for notification of new episodes.
Don’t forget to clean up your environment. Pay attention to how being around certain people makes you feel. Do you suddenly feel drained or negative? Mad? Irritated? Are these people always complaining? Do they reach out to you just to share bad news? Is it always about them? Are they interested in your life at all? Remember that we cannot grow in the same environment that broke us. Only surround yourself with people who lift you up, empower you and challenge you to become the best version of yourself.
Don’t laugh. I am serious. Some of you don’t know.
Anytime you see someone doing something positive and your first thought is, “But…” This is a sign that your a hater. Now, people can hate for different reasons but if your FIRST thought is BUT, there is some hatred there. Let’s look at some examples.
An author gets over 100 reviews.
“But I know some of those fake though.”
How? How do you know their reviews are fake? Have you conducted your own private investigation of this? Have you interviewed the reviewers to find out? How do you know for sure that this author’s reviews are not authentic?
A man gets a promotion on his job.
“But they not even paying him enough.”
How do you know if what he makes is enough for him (not for you) and if it’s not? Have you spent a night at his home? Have you spoken with his family? How do you know what’s enough for his family size and circumstance?
An author makes the Amazon Best Sellers, USA Today or New York Times List.
“But that don’t mean nothing for real. Anyone can make the Best Sellers list.”
Really? Anyone? Are you sure? How do you know what this means to this author? Have you done the research to verify that this achievement means nothing? Can’t this author just have their moment?
An Author makes it to #1 on Amazon with a book priced at only 99cents.
“But yo book was $0.99 though so your “Best Seller Status” don’t mean nothing.”
Again, how do you know? There are a gazillion books out today for 99cents. If an author makes it to #1, how do you know they didn’t earn it? Surely, they had to do something different than the other million authors with sales going on around this time at the same price. Have you investigated this particular author’s niche? Did they show you their marketing strategy? Do you know for sure if they’re gaming the system (as some do which is like, weak) but did you check to see if they fit those who do? Did you meet for dinner to discuss this? Do you know their circle and level of influence? No? OK.
A woman just gave birth and can’t help but post pictures on social media.
“But you shouldn’t be posting pictures of your baby like that.”
Can this new mother have her moment? We know there are predators out there but her children are fully clothed and she’s not abusing them. I know we don’t praise this type of stuff in this world today but can we, for a moment, understand the significance of this achievement? After all, none of us were in the hospital with her when she gave birth and I am sure we would not want to share her pain. Can she at least have this moment?
A man and woman celebrate their anniversary.
“But I heard he was cheating on her tho.”
Let the record reflect that the key word is “heard”. Have you investigated this for certain? Do you actually know this man and woman or have you just heard rumors? How do you know if he’s cheating on her? Where’s your evidence and two-three people to verify? You don’t? OK.
My point is, when you see someone doing something good whether that’s a new promotion or they just had a baby or got married your first response should not be negative. If you shake your head in the negative at their success (and even if it isn’t actually success to you maybe it is to them) then you fall into the hater category. OK so that author is maybe doing it wrong, can’t you at least partake in their happiness for a moment? You can always message them privately to school them, can’t you? No, they’re not sitting on Oprah’s couch and they’re not really “doing it big” but they wrote a book and they’re happy, is that not enough?
My point is, and I don’t care who you are, if your FIRST reaction is to shake your head in the negative when you see other people happy (because they don’t fit your definition of ‘doing it right’), you’re a hater and should probably cut it out.
Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
FYI: This scripture means that the same way you judge others is the same way you will be judged. If you are not compassionate on others, there will be no compassion for you when your time comes. Let’s treat others the way we would like to be treated.
Be careful what it is you’re speaking over your life. What you say you are is what you become. Words are spiritual and often we invite negative energies into our space simply by speaking it into existence. Many of you stay negative because your speech is negative and your thoughts are negative. Understand that the brain conforms to whatever idea is pressed upon it. Vibrate higher. Speak healing over your life.
Welcome back to another episode of No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you do not get to whine, complain, or criticize. Now, if you are new to this blog or new to this segment please visit the first post HERE for more on what this post is all about.
What is a Negative Nancy or Neil? She or he is someone who cannot find the good in anything. There is always something wrong with the world and if there isn’t anything wrong with the world they will make one. A Negative Nancy or Neil tends to use his or hers personal problems, past or present, as the catalyst or crutch for which they have this grudge. A negative Nancy or Neil complains about everything and anything. These are the people who look for the bad in things first and if they can’t see the bad then maybe they will acknowledge the good. Maybe.
“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions”
– Will Smith
Usually, Negative Neils and Nancy’s are born from putting energy into other people. We get so caught up in how other people see us that we allow them to use us. We become their toilet stools, their waste baskets, their garbage. A heaping pile of negative energy consumers. People just dump themselves on us. Their views, their perceptions, and their way of thinking.
Now, these aren’t people who have a stake in your life. These aren’t the people who are there for you, who support you or who believe in you and are trying to encourage you. No, these are people who do the least for you and yet, how they feel about you is more important than how you feel about yourself and as that negative energy is dumped into your lap, you now have nothing good to say about anyone or anything and worse, you now project this attitude to the people around you.
Did you know Negative Neils and Nancy’s can be spotted for miles away? It’s not hard to spot that one person who has something negative to say about everything:
“How’s the weather?”
“It’s nice out but I shole wish it would rain.”
Why you can’t just enjoy the nice weather? It’s gotta rain too?
“Sure glad it rained today, don’t ya think?”
“I guess. Would have been nice if it did all this yesterday.”
When the rain comes, Negative Nancy’s and Neil’s still aren’t happy.
“What’s taking so long? I haven’t eaten anything all day.”
“I got some leftovers I’m about to put on. You can have some.”
Negative Neil’s and Nancy’s are never content. There’s something wrong with everything.
I think we get the point here.
Today, as you strive not to complain, think about what’s causing the complaint. Nine times out of ten it is not you or someone who loves you. Nine times out of ten it is from people who do so little to nothing for you. Don’t let them control so much of your thoughts and feelings. Don’t let them have so much control over you and turn you into a Negative Nancy or Negative Neil.
Would you like a simple way to really change your life? Instead of merely getting by, you’ll find that your life can truly be exceptional when you focus on positive solutions rather than the constraints of your challenges.
This 10-Day Negative Thought Fast, originated by Emmett Fox, one of the most popular self-help authors and speakers of the early 20th century, is an adventure you’ll reap many benefits from.
Here are the rules:
1. If you break any of the other rules, you must start the 10 days over from the beginning. To get the full effect, you must complete 10 consecutive days. Giving up negative thoughts is a little like giving up a drug; you’ve got to stop using them completely, otherwise you haven’t truly quit.
2. You cannot focus on a negative thought or remain in a negative emotional state for more than five minutes. Ideally, the time…
You can learn a lot just by how people interact with you. You can discern if they are bitter people, upbeat people or extremely self-conscious. Believe it or not, this does not change when it comes to online writing / relationships. If every time you respond to others its in a way that is heavy, the spirit of negativity will emit from your pores faster than you can cover it up with a smiling emoji.
We all have experiences we’ve had to endure in this world and that we do endure and the abuse covers all angles. However, it is no reason to be lacking in compassion or rather consideration for the feelings of others. That said, stop being so negative in your interactions. By negative I do not mean standing firm on your opinions or just being open and honest. This isn’t about what you write on your blog; its your blog and I won’t tell you how to run your blog. I’m speaking more so along the lines of responding in general to those around you. We all have not so good days, but if every time I see your interactions you have this negative vibe then I’m just going to take you for a negative person. This, I might add, is a key destroyer of relationships. No one wants to be around people who are constantly complaining or speaking ill about everything let alone befriend them. Is there reason bitterness comes out of your mouth when you open it? Please, do not feed this to me. So I’m saying this not from a personal encounter or anything but just as a reminder that we should be more conscious of the things we say sometimes because energy invested comes back. You can at least be happy about waking up this morning.
Now, I’m off to the kitchen. Raisin Brand Crunch is calling my name…