No Whining Wednesday – What this is Really About

The No Whining Wednesday Badge

I wasn’t going to post anything today but I thought it would be the perfect time to explain what this segment is really about for those who don’t already know.

Although inspired by Iyanla Vanzant (learn more HERE) this is deeper than her quote. But before talking about what this is about, let’s talk about what this is not about.

This is not about being happy-go-lucky 24/7. That’s not what this is about. It is not about not stressing because stress is a part of life. It’s natural. This is not about not being at war because sometimes you must be. Trying to give people hugs in the time of war is just as dangerous as chopping someone’s head off at a time where all they really need is love.

Now, what is this about? What is ‘No Whining Wednesday’ really about?

This segment is all about control. Every single person has both good and evil inside themselves, and if you think that you don’t then you are just naive.

The evil inside of us however, must be contained. The evil that would rather blow up and pop off to someone, the evil that would rather curse you out, the evil that wants to repay evil for evil, the evil that takes it upon his or herself to exact vengeance, the evil that is without compassion, mercy, and love, we all know this evil and it must be controlled. This evil must be contained. Otherwise, these demons will corrupt your life.

We all have feelings and these feelings get hurt. That’s life. But we have a responsibility to stay committed to being the people we are. The good people we are because everyone has good inside them. For some it’s buried deeper than others but the light is there.

What I am saying is that we have to learn to control those negative emotions even when we feel that it is warranted. I know because I was that uncontrolled person. Cursing like a sailor, fighting and popping off. I was her. So I’m not telling you something I heard or looked up from some motivational speech because motivation is temporary. Inspiration and motivation is fleeting. It’s like the wind. It comes and then it goes and then it is back again. It is great to be inspired but inspiration does not last. Not without discipline. I can only speak for myself when I say that discipline is the most important thing. Discipline and self-control.

Sometimes you are not going to feel like being kind but if you can force yourself to think about the feelings of others before your own then you can will yourself to be kind. Sometimes people will hurt you and you won’t feel like doing nothing. Doing nothing feels weak, fragile, vulnerable, and exposed. But you will also soon realize that this is the strongest person. Sometimes you won’t feel like smiling and nobody’s asking you to do so all the time. I know I don’t. But, if we can forcefully drag ourselves to do it, we’ll be better for it.

No Whining Wednesday is not about being happy 24/7, otherwise there will be a No Whining Sunday through Saturday. What No Whining Wednesday is about is controlling yourself.

I dare you to forcefully drag yourself to do what is right today for no other reason except that it is right.

“That’s one of my principles. It’s another discipline that I encourage myself to employ – to, as much as possible, say the courteous thing, and then be it.”

– Maya Angelou


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No Whining Wednesday – Don’t be a Negative Nancy

Welcome back to another episode of No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you do not get to whine, complain, or criticize. Now, if you are new to this blog or new to this segment please visit the first post HERE for more on what this post is all about.

The No Whining Wednesday Badge

What is a Negative Nancy or Neil? She or he is someone who cannot find the good in anything. There is always something wrong with the world and if there isn’t anything wrong with the world they will make one. A Negative Nancy or Neil tends to use his or hers personal problems, past or present, as the catalyst or crutch for which they have this grudge. A negative Nancy or Neil complains about everything and anything. These are the people who look for the bad in things first and if they can’t see the bad then maybe they will acknowledge the good. Maybe.

“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions”

– Will Smith

Usually, Negative Neils and Nancy’s are born from putting energy into other people. We get so caught up in how other people see us that we allow them to use us. We become their toilet stools, their waste baskets, their garbage. A heaping pile of negative energy consumers. People just dump themselves on us. Their views, their perceptions, and their way of thinking.

Now, these aren’t people who have a stake in your life. These aren’t the people who are there for you, who support you or who believe in you and are trying to encourage you. No, these are people who do the least for you and yet, how they feel about you is more important than how you feel about yourself and as that negative energy is dumped into your lap, you now have nothing good to say about anyone or anything and worse, you now project this attitude to the people around you.

Did you know Negative Neils and Nancy’s can be spotted for miles away? It’s not hard to spot that one person who has something negative to say about everything:

“How’s the weather?”

“It’s nice out but I shole wish it would rain.”

Why you can’t just enjoy the nice weather? It’s gotta rain too?

“Sure glad it rained today, don’t ya think?”

“I guess. Would have been nice if it did all this yesterday.”

When the rain comes, Negative Nancy’s and Neil’s still aren’t happy.

“What’s taking so long? I haven’t eaten anything all day.”

“I got some leftovers I’m about to put on. You can have some.”

“Leftovers?”

Negative Neil’s and Nancy’s are never content. There’s something wrong with everything.

I think we get the point here.

Today, as you strive not to complain, think about what’s causing the complaint. Nine times out of ten it is not you or someone who loves you. Nine times out of ten it is from people who do so little to nothing for you. Don’t let them control so much of your thoughts and feelings. Don’t let them have so much control over you and turn you into a Negative Nancy or Negative Neil.

No Whining Wednesday – See the Lesson

Welcome back to No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you have 24 hours in which not to whine, complain, or criticize. If you’re new to this blog or new to this segment, please go HERE for our first day of the segment which explains in greater detail.

The No Whining Wednesday Badge

Today’s quote comes from the inspiration to this segment. If you follow that link or if you remember, I started this because of watching a speech from Iyanla Vanzant. Today’s quote is directly from her:

“No whining, no complaining about anyone. Everybody in your life has come to teach you lessons.”

Today, to keep you from complaining, think about the lesson the situation has to teach you. I’ve already started implementing this into my life and I still complain, of course (lol), but I have noticed improvements and I can vouch that this is a practical step that does work.

If I just stop and think, what did I do wrong and what does this situation have to teach me? Then I am less likely to complain about it. You have to understand that complaining usually comes from two things: not understanding a situation and not being able to change something. Of course, it can become a lot more complex than this but this is the root of most worrying, not being able to change something out of our control or not understanding something. Today, just stop. Stop trying to change it. Just see the lesson.

Your Peace

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The only time anything negative possesses power over us is when we weaken ourselves. Indeed, darkness will be there lets face it, just as the sun rises it also sets. Still, light prevails and if you’re looking closely enough you’ll see that sometimes growth comes from knowing tomorrow’s peace begins with today. Everything is energy and as positive energy is higher than negative energy, a stress-free life begins with operating outside of that negative space. As such one can then use and control the positivity and live with daily productivity, growth and advancement. To control energy. It means that you have the power to change everything around you, for every situation that wishes to show its face today also has a solution. If we’re willing to look close enough we can see the purpose. Yes, its hard but beneath the surface is a purpose and that purpose is to cultivate something in you. If we choose to look close enough, we can discover what that is. If we choose to endure. If we choose light even when it’s lonely. Even when it’s difficult, and even when it’s painful. If we choose to command our peace to be still.

Control

Control

You are late for work. You are fired from work. You can’t find a babysitter. You have to babysit on your only day off. You are given too much. You are not given enough. You are stuck in the rain. You are stuck in the house. Have a complaint? Pick one and put it here__________________.

I notice that we are often affected by a multitude of barriers that come to exist before us as we walk this path called life. We often run into situations that require our attention and either demand a positive or negative reaction in the process. How will I react to those things around me that have caused me to change in some way without my permission? How will we approach this thing or this person that has selfishly taken away our ability to find peace?

The real question is however, how much control are you willing to give over to these situations? How much of your peace are you willing to sacrifice? How much energy are you going to devote to this thing? How far are you willing to take this? Every time I think about anger issues, frustration, complaints and just situations in general, I cannot help but to also think of control. Will this situation typify us? Will it take us out of our element so that we become different people? Will it cause us to physically transform ourselves? Will it change our minds? We often look at circumstances as an external thing. It is either about an outside force against us, or a person outside of us. The truth is however; that the only power such elements have against you is the power you give it. Sometimes I look at situations that I believe are not as bad as some, but I marvel at how drastically the person has allowed the situation to change them.

It is not the reflections of others staring back at you when you look in the mirror, it is you staring back at you. You will always be your worst enemy or your best friend. The battles that take place in our lives are of our own making. They are a result of choices that we made. Even those things that are thrust upon us without permission can only grow according to our reaction to it.