Don’t forget to clean up your environment. Pay attention to how being around certain people makes you feel. Do you suddenly feel drained or negative? Mad? Irritated? Are these people always complaining? Do they reach out to you just to share bad news? Is it always about them? Are they interested in your life at all? Remember that we cannot grow in the same environment that broke us. Only surround yourself with people who lift you up, empower you and challenge you to become the best version of yourself.
When running your race and trying to build something it’s most important to block out any and all negative vibes (from others and from your own self-doubt). One of the obvious reasons for this is because you can easily become distracted and lose focus. But, going deeper, you lose focus because you begin to lock into other people’s energy. Whatever the negative minded people around you are feeling, you begin to feel it too. They don’t have to necessarily be bad people but the energy they are giving off can be bad. If you are always surrounded around these kinds of people, their energy can become your energy.
People emit all kinds of energies and some are not even aware that the vibes they are giving off are destructive. People who are not aware of their own destruction are dangerous people because it means they tear down everything around them. As you can see, that makes it difficult to build with these people. You cannot build with a destructive person. You will need to remove yourself from that person’s presence and free yourself from the ways in which their thoughts become your thoughts.
When we take on the negative energies of others we soon begin to:
Doubt ourselves. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Create mental notes on why said thing might not work
Make excuses for why we shouldn’t move forward with said thing
Reject opportunities (because, you know, said person said it wouldn’t be good)
When we do this, lock into someone’s energy, we take our eyes off the prize and start to come up with our own reasons and assumptions which are probably a far cry from the truth. That said, when trying to do something, write a book, build a business, it’s very important not to take on the emotions and feelings of the people around you if those emotions and feelings aren’t uplifting and productive to what you are trying to achieve. This is why it is advised to keep things to yourself because people tend to reject what they do not understand and will begin to project that energy onto you. Even if you have to walk alone, this is sometimes necessary because no one else may get your vision. That doesn’t mean your vision is wrong or that you are wrong. It just means that the vision was given to YOU which mean it’s not for everyone to understand right now. It’s for YOU to understand and to carry it through.
People will pick out the pieces of you they like and understand. That’s life. Everyone does not like you and you shouldn’t expect them to. Expect to be misunderstood by some. Hated by some and looked down upon by some. Underestimated by some. Expect it because that’s real and that’s life. Your job is to love yourself regardless to INCLUDE the parts of you that others reject. Personally, not worrying about what people think (negatively) has been a game changer for me. My stress levels are lower and I find myself being much more productive.
The truth is that I know what I have been commanded to do and what I bring to the table behind the scene. I am secure in that and being secure in this is a daily practice of constant focus and a whole lot of ignoring! (You gotta learn to ignore people for a little bit sometimes and focus on you.) In this, I can block out all energy that is not conducive to what I am trying to do and where I am trying to go. I can turn my back on it without regret and without apology. I can be who I was purposed to be without being held back by other people’s negative opinions, thoughts, and limitations. I can be free. And so can you.
Be careful what it is you’re speaking over your life. What you say you are is what you become. Words are spiritual and often we invite negative energies into our space simply by speaking it into existence. Many of you stay negative because your speech is negative and your thoughts are negative. Understand that the brain conforms to whatever idea is pressed upon it. Vibrate higher. Speak healing over your life.
Welcome back to another episode of No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you do not get to whine, complain, or criticize. Now, if you are new to this blog or new to this segment please visit the first post HERE for more on what this post is all about.
What is a Negative Nancy or Neil? She or he is someone who cannot find the good in anything. There is always something wrong with the world and if there isn’t anything wrong with the world they will make one. A Negative Nancy or Neil tends to use his or hers personal problems, past or present, as the catalyst or crutch for which they have this grudge. A negative Nancy or Neil complains about everything and anything. These are the people who look for the bad in things first and if they can’t see the bad then maybe they will acknowledge the good. Maybe.
“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions”
– Will Smith
Usually, Negative Neils and Nancy’s are born from putting energy into other people. We get so caught up in how other people see us that we allow them to use us. We become their toilet stools, their waste baskets, their garbage. A heaping pile of negative energy consumers. People just dump themselves on us. Their views, their perceptions, and their way of thinking.
Now, these aren’t people who have a stake in your life. These aren’t the people who are there for you, who support you or who believe in you and are trying to encourage you. No, these are people who do the least for you and yet, how they feel about you is more important than how you feel about yourself and as that negative energy is dumped into your lap, you now have nothing good to say about anyone or anything and worse, you now project this attitude to the people around you.
Did you know Negative Neils and Nancy’s can be spotted for miles away? It’s not hard to spot that one person who has something negative to say about everything:
“How’s the weather?”
“It’s nice out but I shole wish it would rain.”
Why you can’t just enjoy the nice weather? It’s gotta rain too?
“Sure glad it rained today, don’t ya think?”
“I guess. Would have been nice if it did all this yesterday.”
When the rain comes, Negative Nancy’s and Neil’s still aren’t happy.
“What’s taking so long? I haven’t eaten anything all day.”
“I got some leftovers I’m about to put on. You can have some.”
Negative Neil’s and Nancy’s are never content. There’s something wrong with everything.
I think we get the point here.
Today, as you strive not to complain, think about what’s causing the complaint. Nine times out of ten it is not you or someone who loves you. Nine times out of ten it is from people who do so little to nothing for you. Don’t let them control so much of your thoughts and feelings. Don’t let them have so much control over you and turn you into a Negative Nancy or Negative Neil.
The only time anything negative possesses power over us is when we weaken ourselves. Indeed, darkness will be there lets face it, just as the sun rises it also sets. Still, light prevails and if you’re looking closely enough you’ll see that sometimes growth comes from knowing tomorrow’s peace begins with today. Everything is energy and as positive energy is higher than negative energy, a stress-free life begins with operating outside of that negative space. As such one can then use and control the positivity and live with daily productivity, growth and advancement. To control energy. It means that you have the power to change everything around you, for every situation that wishes to show its face today also has a solution. If we’re willing to look close enough we can see the purpose. Yes, its hard but beneath the surface is a purpose and that purpose is to cultivate something in you. If we choose to look close enough, we can discover what that is. If we choose to endure. If we choose light even when it’s lonely. Even when it’s difficult, and even when it’s painful. If we choose to command our peace to be still.
I know we all have our favorites but it is time to upgrade. In a couple weeks we’ll be moving on into another year. As such, I would like to propose an upgrade in entertainment. Last month I wrote a post called “Before The Weeks Ends” about diversifying our bookshelves. In this post, I spoke about how dedication to only certain kinds of books can limit our perspective in life. I proposed instead a diversity in reading selections. Don’t just read Romance but have a few “How-To” sprinkled in there. Don’t just read Erotica only but throw in some African American Literature every now and again. Have something that you can go to for a little fun but also something that will educate you and give you insight beyond the norm. That said, this same logic can be applied to TV. What you put out and also what you take in is reflective in your life. Meaning that if I put positive energy out there I expect positive energy to come back to me. But if Flavor of Love, which projects a negative image of my people, is the only thing I’m giving my energy to, how can I ever expect to grow beyond that way of thought?
We can sit back and convince ourselves that these are just shows but it would be naïve to think it has no effect on our minds. While were on the subject (*climbs soap box*) why are some of these shows even out there in the first place? Why did Flavor of Love even exist? What was its purpose? Yes, I watched the TV show back in the day and as I look back, what did it produce for me? What did it teach the teenage me? Did it teach me how to love? Did it teach me how to take care of a man? Did it teach me how to interact with the world? Own a business? What did Flavor of Love teach me as a young woman who needed to be guided?
And why do black people support these kinds of shows anyway? The ones that take the worst of your people and highlight it to the entire world and is popular only because you watch it. Even though they do nothing for your growth as an individuals. There is nothing profound or mentally stimulating about these shows. There is nothing that will give you an understanding of life in these shows. These shows do nothing but highlight the activity of wild women that no man would ever commit to. These shows produce all this negative energy and then we wonder why we can’t get along with our men. Why we can’t stop using profanity. Why we can’t get along with other women. It’s because of what we’re feeding our minds. In your subconscious you’re imitating the women you watch every week and mimicking their ways.
*Gets down from soapbox*
Now, I’m not going to sit here and tell you what to watch and what not to watch. I am not your judge and we’re all adults here. What I will say is this: use a little wisdom in your selection. Like I said I published a post on diversifying our bookshelves and I think this same logic can be applied to every aspect of our lives. Diversify your movie and TV selections as well. Don’t just sit back and watch the same shows over and over again. Throw some documentaries in there, some historical films, or tune into something that is new. It may be boring at first but so is everything that is different to your way of life. You never know, it just may give you insight into something you may not have known before. We cannot possibly think that what we read or watch or make permanent parts of our lives have no bearing on our lives. It takes more than just talking about growth to actually grow as individuals. It takes some form of change, not just for black people but all people. It begins with what we give our attention to because what we give always come back. Everything around you has an effect on you in some way. Choose wisely.