What Are You Sacrificing?

Last week, I planned on introducing a new Black History Fun Fact Friday. I also planned on revealing the cover to the poetry contest magazine to my social media (which I will do tomorrow, time permitting). This was a busy week for me (more than usual). This isn’t to say that “busy” is a measure of importance, but last week was a hectic one for both my personal and professional life. But also, it was a good busy (more like a focused busy). I got a lot done and gained some clarity. And although I still have emails, I haven’t responded to and travel to prepare for I am sitting down in the few hours I have here before running errands to talk to you guys and send an important message to my email list.

I find that how we direct our focus determines what will show up based on how we have prioritized. Those things we put first or last will naturally manifest in our life and align based on what we give more or less attention. If I know I have coursework due on Wednesday, for example, but I scroll social media until the final hour of when the work is due, chances are I won’t do well, and it won’t be because I am ignorant or incompetent. It will be because I did not set my coursework as a priority this week and give myself time to think through the assignment. Instead, I scrolled social media, which means I have set it as a priority over my coursework and are thus reaping the consequences of that choice. It doesn’t make it social media’s fault, and it doesn’t make social media an evil entity, but it was not the proper decision on this day.

I use social media because it’s an easy example, but I believe this can apply to anything from business practices to relationships and friendships.

What are you sacrificing?

I realized that whatever we pay attention to means sacrificing something else in its place. If we focus too much time on gossip and negativity, we are sacrificing something else in its place. If we spend too much time on social media, we are sacrificing something else in its place. Sometimes the sacrifice is not all bad; it makes sense depending on what is a priority at the moment. Sacrificing an hour of work to sleep and refresh is not a bad thing because, with rest, we can have better clarity to do the job. Surrendering a TV show to post something of value and substance to social media that will help someone else is not a bad thing. You see, I also learned this week that our priorities might change from day to day. What was most crucial yesterday may not be most important today.

From this point forward, I will be more conscious of what I am sacrificing when I am spending my time doing something because I know that whatever I focus my attention will manifest based on those things of which I have set as a priority.

Instead of saying, “I don’t have time,” I will say, “what am I willing to sacrifice to get this done? What am I willing to give up to do this?”

Those are the real questions.

“You Can Do It Sis”

Quick story.

I was in the city on this beautiful, warm day, and I wanted to get a pic by the water but I wasn’t sure if I could make that lil jump without getting wet. I was going to say, “that’s okay,” when a young lady behind me says, “you can do it, sis!” I turned around, jumped and made it. This had me thinking about the importance and ease of what it means to support one another. It doesn’t always have to be something grandiose, flowers and sparkles and rainbows. Doesn’t always require us to be present either or taking professional pictures. Nope. Support is simple and requires us to do nothing but go the extra mile for one another. This young woman’s comment blessed my soul, made me smile and gave me the courage to “jump,” and she didn’t have to do it. She could have let me go about my way. She could have shaken her head or said something smart under her breath. She could have easily judged me. Instead, she empowered me. No celebrity status needed, no large crowd around us, no audience, nothing but the hot sun on our faces and the opportunity to get a cute pic because we felt beautiful today, like the weather was. And just like I don’t have to publish this post, I will. I will go the extra mile like someone did for me and return the love.

Whatever you want to do, do it. Don’t worry about what people will think or failure. Let faith lead you. Make the jump. Leap. “You can do it sis/bro!”

Pay Attention

Don’t forget to clean up your environment. Pay attention to how being around certain people makes you feel. Do you suddenly feel drained or negative? Mad? Irritated? Are these people always complaining? Do they reach out to you just to share bad news? Is it always about them? Are they interested in your life at all?  Remember that we cannot grow in the same environment that broke us. Only surround yourself with people who lift you up, empower you and challenge you to become the best version of yourself.

Detach Yourself from Bad Vibes: Don’t make other people’s energy yours

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Photo by Braden Collum on Unsplash

When running your race and trying to build something it’s most important to block out any and all negative vibes (from others and from your own self-doubt). One of the obvious reasons for this is because you can easily become distracted and lose focus. But, going deeper, you lose focus because you begin to lock into other people’s energy. Whatever the negative minded people around you are feeling, you begin to feel it too. They don’t have to necessarily be bad people but the energy they are giving off can be bad. If you are always surrounded around these kinds of people, their energy can become your energy.

People emit all kinds of energies and some are not even aware that the vibes they are giving off are destructive. People who are not aware of their own destruction are dangerous people because it means they tear down everything around them. As you can see, that makes it difficult to build with these people. You cannot build with a destructive person. You will need to remove yourself from that person’s presence and free yourself from the ways in which their thoughts become your thoughts.

When we take on the negative energies of others we soon begin to:

  • Doubt ourselves. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
  • Create mental notes on why said thing might not work
  • Make excuses for why we shouldn’t move forward with said thing
  • Reject opportunities (because, you know, said person said it wouldn’t be good)

When we do this, lock into someone’s energy, we take our eyes off the prize and start to come up with our own reasons and assumptions which are probably a far cry from the truth. That said, when trying to do something, write a book, build a business, it’s very important not to take on the emotions and feelings of the people around you if those emotions and feelings aren’t uplifting and productive to what you are trying to achieve. This is why it is advised to keep things to yourself because people tend to reject what they do not understand and will begin to project that energy onto you. Even if you have to walk alone, this is sometimes necessary because no one else may get your vision. That doesn’t mean your vision is wrong or that you are wrong. It just means that the vision was given to YOU which mean it’s not for everyone to understand right now. It’s for YOU to understand and to carry it through.

People will pick out the pieces of you they like and understand. That’s life. Everyone does not like you and you shouldn’t expect them to. Expect to be misunderstood by some. Hated by some and looked down upon by some. Underestimated by some. Expect it because that’s real and that’s life. Your job is to love yourself regardless to INCLUDE the parts of you that others reject. Personally, not worrying about what people think (negatively) has been a game changer for me. My stress levels are lower and I find myself being much more productive.

The truth is that I know what I have been commanded to do and what I bring to the table behind the scene. I am secure in that and being secure in this is a daily practice of constant focus and a whole lot of ignoring! (You gotta learn to ignore people for a little bit sometimes and focus on you.) In this, I can block out all energy that is not conducive to what I am trying to do and where I am trying to go. I can turn my back on it without regret and without apology. I can be who I was purposed to be without being held back by other people’s negative opinions, thoughts, and limitations. I can be free. And so can you.

To Speak or Not to Speak

Be careful what it is you’re speaking over your life. What you say you are is what you become. Words are spiritual and often we invite negative energies into our space simply by speaking it into existence. Many of you stay negative because your speech is negative and your thoughts are negative. Understand that the brain conforms to whatever idea is pressed upon it. Vibrate higher. Speak healing over your life.

Peace 💕

No Whining Wednesday – Don’t be a Negative Nancy

Welcome back to another episode of No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you do not get to whine, complain, or criticize. Now, if you are new to this blog or new to this segment please visit the first post HERE for more on what this post is all about.

The No Whining Wednesday Badge

What is a Negative Nancy or Neil? She or he is someone who cannot find the good in anything. There is always something wrong with the world and if there isn’t anything wrong with the world they will make one. A Negative Nancy or Neil tends to use his or hers personal problems, past or present, as the catalyst or crutch for which they have this grudge. A negative Nancy or Neil complains about everything and anything. These are the people who look for the bad in things first and if they can’t see the bad then maybe they will acknowledge the good. Maybe.

“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions”

– Will Smith

Usually, Negative Neils and Nancy’s are born from putting energy into other people. We get so caught up in how other people see us that we allow them to use us. We become their toilet stools, their waste baskets, their garbage. A heaping pile of negative energy consumers. People just dump themselves on us. Their views, their perceptions, and their way of thinking.

Now, these aren’t people who have a stake in your life. These aren’t the people who are there for you, who support you or who believe in you and are trying to encourage you. No, these are people who do the least for you and yet, how they feel about you is more important than how you feel about yourself and as that negative energy is dumped into your lap, you now have nothing good to say about anyone or anything and worse, you now project this attitude to the people around you.

Did you know Negative Neils and Nancy’s can be spotted for miles away? It’s not hard to spot that one person who has something negative to say about everything:

“How’s the weather?”

“It’s nice out but I shole wish it would rain.”

Why you can’t just enjoy the nice weather? It’s gotta rain too?

“Sure glad it rained today, don’t ya think?”

“I guess. Would have been nice if it did all this yesterday.”

When the rain comes, Negative Nancy’s and Neil’s still aren’t happy.

“What’s taking so long? I haven’t eaten anything all day.”

“I got some leftovers I’m about to put on. You can have some.”

“Leftovers?”

Negative Neil’s and Nancy’s are never content. There’s something wrong with everything.

I think we get the point here.

Today, as you strive not to complain, think about what’s causing the complaint. Nine times out of ten it is not you or someone who loves you. Nine times out of ten it is from people who do so little to nothing for you. Don’t let them control so much of your thoughts and feelings. Don’t let them have so much control over you and turn you into a Negative Nancy or Negative Neil.

Your Peace

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The only time anything negative possesses power over us is when we weaken ourselves. Indeed, darkness will be there lets face it, just as the sun rises it also sets. Still, light prevails and if you’re looking closely enough you’ll see that sometimes growth comes from knowing tomorrow’s peace begins with today. Everything is energy and as positive energy is higher than negative energy, a stress-free life begins with operating outside of that negative space. As such one can then use and control the positivity and live with daily productivity, growth and advancement. To control energy. It means that you have the power to change everything around you, for every situation that wishes to show its face today also has a solution. If we’re willing to look close enough we can see the purpose. Yes, its hard but beneath the surface is a purpose and that purpose is to cultivate something in you. If we choose to look close enough, we can discover what that is. If we choose to endure. If we choose light even when it’s lonely. Even when it’s difficult, and even when it’s painful. If we choose to command our peace to be still.