“Ask yourself why you’re writing and who you’re writing for. Know in your heart that there is no such thing as one story….At the end of the day, your authentic voice and heart will speak to readers. Do not be deterred by rejection. Keep writing, keep knocking on doors, keep sending out work. Never have only one project that you’re working on. The minute one story gets published and rejected, there should be another one waiting in the wings. Be serious about writing. Treat it as you would a job, not a hobby. Lastly, seek successful mentors who are invested in seeing your growth; avoid anyone who projects their journey on you and/or attempts to clip your wings once you begin to soar.”
– Nicole Dennis-Benn, author of Here Comes the Sun
Welcome back you Non-Whiners! Ya’ll know how we do this, if you’re new to this segment or this blog, please read the first post HERE. Our goal is not to whine, complain, or criticize on Wednesdays.
The No Whining Wednesday Badge
So far, we’ve pretty much covered complaining and whining but No Whining Wednesday also means no criticizing.
Criticize – indicate the faults of (someone or something) in a disapproving way.
One thing about this is that it’s easy to see the faults in others. Even in writing it is difficult to see your own errors (i.e. the need of editors). Sometimes we need to apply this to life in general, that is, edit your life. “Your” being the key word here.
Criticism is sneaky and can roll off the tongue so easily. It can be done in many ways and even more so today than before since technology conceals much and through emojis and semicolons people roll their eyes and smack their lips. Speaking negatively under their breath while they throw up a smiley face.
If we really thought about it, we’d probably discover that we spend most of our day criticizing others. We criticize the woman taking too long in the grocery line in front of us. We criticize the woman whose pants are too tight or shirt that exposes her breasts. We turn our lips up at the homeless man or the drunkard stumbling down the street. In our own thoughts, we do more criticizing than we’d admit outwardly and let’s not talk about writing! There’s a load of judgment here. The truth is that we can often see the splinter in the eyes of others but not the plank in our own. While we are pointing fingers, we tend to be far worse than the people we’re judging.
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
– Dale Carnegie
When I was in High School, there was the perception that the person who was the loudest and the most critical was the toughest and they often became the most popular. This perception could not have been any further from the truth. The person who talks a lot knows nothing. Likewise, the person who is so quick to judge others is a fool. Be not mistaken, it takes a strong person to be kind, gentle and forgiving in a hateful world. Seeking vengeance and refusing to forgive is just as cocky and critical as condemning someone for what they wear.
Today, focus on editing your own life before you point out so much as a missing hair from someone else’s.
Welcome back to No Whinging Wednesday! The only day of the week where you do not get to whine, criticize, or complain. If you’re new to this, please check out post one HERE.
The No Whining Wednesday Badge
Today’s quote and message of inspiration and encouragement is from Maya Angelou:
“What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.”- Maya Angelou
Today, as we strive not to be complainers, try something new. Instead of lingering on the situation at hand, what if you changed the way you thought about it? What if you changed your perspective and perception of it? Perspective can be defined as:
a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view
I remember when my husband and I were newlyweds and when we first moved down to Louisiana. Having rented a house from our elderly cousin, the house itself was not something we would have chosen. It was old (very old, I think her and her father built it and she’s like 80) and we had to move her stuff out before we moved in. The house wouldn’t heat well so winters were brutal. We literally fought to make it a home and there was much to complain about. There was much we did complain about. It was a big move for us and we had to give away some of our belongings to fit in the tiny house (we were downsizing from a three bedroom, three bath, and full basement home in Chicago to a two bedroom, one bath house in the county. Yikes!)
However, we were on 40 acres of land, had a horse, chickens, dogs and a garden. We had peace there and ended up renting the place for five long years. Some of the most peaceful and exciting years of our lives. That house was so poor that many people still make fun of us for staying there and have called us names, but it was ours and we made it work. We learned a lot of life lessons with the physical and mental challenges living there produced, mainly how to struggle together as a couple. We had both struggled individually growing up but not as a team. We are now staying at a place under much better conditions. Because we accepted the little, we were blessed with more. Despite how it looked, we even shared our home with others, opening it to anyone who needed it and as we often look back, we are glad to have lived there.
When you find yourself down in the dumps, remember that sometimes it’s because of how you’re viewing it and that things could always be worse. Remember the story of the wealthy father and his son:
Image Credit: Pixababy
Story by Dan Asmussen:
“One day a very wealthy father took his son on a trip to the country for the sole purpose of showing his son how it was to be poor. They spent a few days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
After their return from the trip, the father asked his son how he liked the trip. ‘It was great, Dad,’ the son replied. ‘Did you see how poor people can be?’ the father asked. ‘Oh Yeah,’ said the son.
So what did you learn from the trip?’ asked the father. The son answered, ‘I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.’
“‘We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.’”
“‘We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.’ The boy’s father was speechless. Then his son added, ‘It showed me just how poor we really are.’”
“Too many times we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don’t have. What is one person’s worthless object is another’s prize possession. It is all based on one’s perspective. Sometimes it takes the perspective of a child to remind us what’s important.”
The PBS Blog 