No Whining Wednesday – Change Your Perspective

Welcome back to No Whinging Wednesday! The only day of the week where you do not get to whine, criticize, or complain. If you’re new to this, please check out post one HERE.

The No Whining Wednesday Badge
The No Whining Wednesday Badge

Today’s quote and message of inspiration and encouragement is from Maya Angelou:

“What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.”- Maya Angelou

Today, as we strive not to be complainers, try something new. Instead of lingering on the situation at hand, what if you changed the way you thought about it? What if you changed your perspective and perception of it? Perspective can be defined as:

a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view

I remember when my husband and I were newlyweds and when we first moved down to Louisiana. Having rented a house from our elderly cousin, the house itself was not something we would have chosen. It was old (very old, I think her and her father built it and she’s like 80) and we had to move her stuff out before we moved in. The house wouldn’t heat well so winters were brutal. We literally fought to make it a home and there was much to complain about. There was much we did complain about. It was a big move for us and we had to give away some of our belongings to fit in the tiny house (we were downsizing from a three bedroom, three bath, and full basement home in Chicago to a two bedroom, one bath house in the county. Yikes!)

However, we were on 40 acres of land, had a horse, chickens, dogs and a garden. We had peace there and ended up renting the place for five long years. Some of the most peaceful and exciting years of our lives. That house was so poor that many people still make fun of us for staying there and have called us names, but it was ours and we made it work. We learned a lot of life lessons with the physical and mental challenges living there produced, mainly how to struggle together as a couple. We had both struggled individually growing up but not as a team. We are now staying at a place under much better conditions. Because we accepted the little, we were blessed with more. Despite how it looked, we even shared our home with others, opening it to anyone who needed it and as we often look back, we are glad to have lived there.

When you find yourself down in the dumps, remember that sometimes it’s because of how you’re viewing it and that things could always be worse. Remember the story of the wealthy father and his son:

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Image Credit: Pixababy

Story by Dan Asmussen:

“One day a very wealthy father took his son on a trip to the country for the sole purpose of showing his son how it was to be poor. They spent a few days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

After their return from the trip, the father asked his son how he liked the trip. ‘It was great, Dad,’ the son replied. ‘Did you see how poor people can be?’ the father asked. ‘Oh Yeah,’ said the son.

So what did you learn from the trip?’ asked the father. The son answered, ‘I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.’

“‘We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.’”

“‘We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.’ The boy’s father was speechless. Then his son added, ‘It showed me just how poor we really are.’”

“Too many times we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don’t have. What is one person’s worthless object is another’s prize possession. It is all based on one’s perspective.  Sometimes it takes the perspective of a child to remind us what’s important.”

High Expectations

Well said. I enjoyed reading this. Post quote:

“Building a career as an author is a marathon not a sprint and anyone who expects instant results is likely to wind up disillusioned and disappointed.”

And Then What?

When you launch yourself off on a career as an indie author you need to have expectations of what you would like to achieve.

expectations Expectations vs Reality by Kristian Bjornard courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons licensed by CC BY-SA 2.0

https://flic.kr/p/7ys8nH  https://goo.gl/laq7O1

It’s good to have dreams but a dash of reality wouldn’t go amiss.

Writing a book takes a long time. Marketing a book takes a long time. Building a career as an author is a marathon not a sprint and anyone who expects instant results is likely to wind up disillusioned and disappointed.

Houses that are built to last have strong foundations. Create your brand with the future in mind. I was given some sage advice when I started out. I was told to assume it would take three years and/or five books to reach a point where things were ticking over career wise. The smart money…

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Stop Being So Reactionary

From the EC Made Up Dictionary  –

Definition – a. A person who reacts to a situation or stresses by changing their thoughts, life, or persona to fit someone else’s reaction to that situation. b. To cater ones thought processes to the reactions of another c. Insecure in ones own views of self and dependent on the reactions of others for validation

Stop being so reactionary, or concerned about making decisions that will reflect the people around you if those people are not the right kind of people. Cut off those who are not lifting you up, inspiring you to be better, or encouraging you. Most people are actually more reactionary (per my definition) than they’d be willing to admit. This means they concern themselves with whether or not this decision will be for or against the status quo. Many of us are not risk takers because we’re afraid to fail. The person, however, who falls down seven times and stands up eight is stronger and a lot wiser than the person who never fell. You don’t have to concern yourself with how someone is going to receive or perceive you all the time. Stop being so dependent on how others feel about you to determine how you feel about yourself.

Upgrade Your Value

 

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Sometimes we base our self-worth on what we see; what him and her and they perceive to be important. Played against the heartstrings of others, the media is direction to our chorus. Splattered images of what success looks like echoes off the tops of dreams we conjure under the blankets of perception. We reminisce on fantasy like the touched up portraits of celebrities. It is the pride of a man serving seven years in the military. His Purple Heart medallion waves and smiles at passerby’s before he does. We know not what beats inside his chest, just the striking forest green of his uniform. It shines like it does on the TV and in the magazines, and our jaws drop with awe. This is a man who could not have received more awards. Could not have been a better example of an outstanding citizen. But when the uniform comes off, and the glory of sacrifice cripples away into the concrete; when the intoxicating fragrance echoes off the numbing high of a man now staggering to the next corner. When the alcohol melts this Purple Heart against the insides of his soul like skin clung to flesh, what is left of the perception now upon him? What of this hero turned homeless Veteran? Does his value weaken like the washed up fade of an army uniform? Or is he now nothing more than another brother worthy of our disrespect?

Today, I encourage you to upgrade your value. Be not limited to the rotting fabric of tangible things. Be not awed by the signs of achievement and circumstance. Hurry not to praise people only when they have accomplished something society thinks is worthy of your respect. Judge instead the content of a person’s character. Judge their resolve, their kindness, and their warmth. For these, if truly possessed by them, will never rot away.

The Faceless Internet

turtleneck_by_faceless_monster-d5l2jwlIf I could go back in time to visit my great great great grandmother, she’d probably not believe me if I told her about this world; if I told her about the people walking around with no face. Except they do not exactly walk either. They glide instead on finger toes and eyeballs. Here skin meets electricity and together they blend their energies into the production of a being; a something with a name and a picture for a face. My grandmother would probably ask the obvious, “How do we know that’s truly them?”

“Well, Granny that’s the point, we don’t.”

These are faceless internet people. They create careers out of dot-coms, and download personalities they think will fit the World Wide Web. The most courageous, most bold beings I’ve ever seen behind Photoshopped Gravatars and surrogate heads. You see the Internets a place where flies are dragons and little blind mice are soldiers. Be who you wanna be and say what you will because no one will ever discover your venom to be nothing more than a glass spine. They don’t really have mouths anyway. Just faceless internet people walking around on keyboards with their fingers, pretending to be people.

Friends

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Echoes off the tops of our lungs with undeniable ease. Friends. Like random hellos, or a courtesy goodbye. Like a sporadic gesture among the land of foreigners, friends too has become a strange language; its value in a strange land as it falls off the edges of our tongues. Words have no meaning for many of us. They race from underneath the spaces of our hearts to descend empty into the air. To land idly among the elements, or on the tops of buildings and of trees. After all, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” We chant this saying from infancy to adulthood, carrying perception on our shoulders like truth. Meanwhile, words will go on to hurt and heal, afflict and inspire. Friends. Technology says we can find them on Facebook. Fly away with them on Twitter and update relationships instantly. Though I’ve never known a friendship to be built so fast. What kind of lessons do we learn in a world that laughs at murder because words after all have no meaning, so “I hate you” doesn’t mean that I might as well have killed you. Friends. There is no greater person than one who is willing to lay down his life for his friend and yet, the word leaps as it wills off the edges of our tongues. Such a light hearted fantasy. Everyone is a friend today, though not everyone is willing to die for you. Friends. So often do we fill it with air and toss it around among our peers; an enslaved basketball among the bars of netted string is this word. Nothing more than a one syllable title we release into the air to become captive to whatever it wills. But what does it truly mean to be a friend?

Perception and Reality

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I wonder what your life would be like. What kind of thoughts would exist in that head of yours, and what kind of actions they would produce if you were not subjected to the perception of society. Where would we be if infancy did not play tricks on our mental by conforming our ways to those around us? If childhood was met with the kind of vision we often go back to. If foresight was 20/20, would we see what exist or would our lives still be dictated only by what we choose to see?

Nin_SeeThingsIt is an interesting ponder, where would you be in your life if you were brave enough to neglect civilizations norms? If you were brave enough to risk insanity by choosing to see beyond what is the desire of your personal self. I stare out into the distance and watch as Bobby Kristina fights for her life. But what is really there? Is it a young woman fighting for her life, or is it a life that was doomed to begin with? This is the second time she was found face down in a similar position as her mom. Once before Whitney’s death and again afterwards. What kind of reality was this young woman born into? Is she dying, or is she already dead? I just use this as an example because it is an event fresh in our minds. Are we courageous enough to embrace reality? Or will reality always be plagued by our individual perspectives?

aaff57942df6eb16793e94c8fd709b33Perception is not always reality. Nor is reality always the way we perceive it to be. We float through life half blind. A physical touching of tangibility engulfs our days. We smell and taste and touch of surface life. Gliding along all the crooked reasons why it is not important to search for the truth beneath the surface. Wondering whether or not we should think inside or outside the box without first asking where the box came from to begin with. We sit here with a handful of normal while amazing stands in the shadows. She is waiting for you to identify her existence so that you may find refuge underneath her wings. Instead we glide along life wondering if the glass is half empty or half full. In the meantime, there is no glass.