Welcome back to another episode of No Whining Wednesday! Today, you cannot whine, criticize, or complain.
If you are new to this blog or new to this segment please visit the NWW page herefor past episodes.
How other people view you is not a measurement of your worthiness. Both online and off, good decision or bad decision, right or wrong, your value does not change.
A Quick Story.
When I first moved to Georgia in 2017, I enrolled in Argosy University, Atlanta. This was before Covid, so I had on and offline classes. In one of my campus classes, we always did these exercises. In one activity, we were talking about hot personality, cold personality, and warm. We had to say which one we thought we were and why. A few of my classmates mentioned I was cold. This perplexed me because we had not known each other that long. When they said it, most of the class agreed.
I went home feeling down. Their words had seeped into my soul, and I questioned what made them think I was a cold-hearted person. Had I done something to them? Did I offend anyone? Had they heard something about me?
Then, I thought back to my childhood and realized this wasn’t anything new. I remember being told my twin would be a bride for Halloween and that I would be the devil. As a kid, I remembered thinking, “the devil?”
I laugh at it now, but it affected my self-esteem and how I thought of myself back then. This was not the only time, someone had also decided I would be a witch years prior. “A witch?” I remembered thinking. It was weird to me because my sister was some kind of animal. If we are twins, why am I a witch and she’s a cute kitten?
I was always referred to as “the mean twin,” and it affected how I felt about myself.
Going home after that class made me think of all these things, and I questioned if I was a good person.
What I’ve realized since then is how we tend to tie our self-worth to other people. We look at the way others perceive us, and we measure ourselves up to that image. That person doesn’t like me, so I am not a good person, or that person admires me, so I am a good person. This is especially true in the age of social media. This person I admire didn’t like my post, so I guess it wasn’t a good post, or this person did like it, so I guess it was good.
All of this is a lie.
The same worthiness you have when people think highly of you, or when you are winning and making the right choices, and being the best version of yourself is the same worthiness you still have when people think of you in a negative light, when you make mistakes, or when you are not your best self.
There is one truth, and it is the only truth that matters:
You are inherently worthy.
This worth does not need to be earned or won or acknowledged to exist. You have value and purpose the moment you enter this world. As the scripture says, “before I formed you in your mother’s belly I knew you, and I did set you apart.” (Jer. 1:5)
How other people perceive this set-apartness does not determine if it exists. It is there and was there from the very beginning.
With yesterday’s social media shenanigans, I want to drop in to give some tidbits about how to join my author list for those of you who might not be subscribed but thought you were.
First, you should know subscribing to this blog is not the same as subscribing to my author email list.
Subscribing to this blog ensures you receive email notifications every time I publish a blog post.
Subscribing to my author list means you receive email notifications whenever I have author news to share for myself and other authors. These emails go out about once or twice a month.
“I Thought I was Already Subscribed But I Don’t Get Your Newsletters”
Due to excessive spam emails and inactivity, I deleted all emails from the first list and started over. If you remember my emails, but noticed they have stopped, it means you are not subscribed to the new list.
Because I want to make sure those who signed up want to sign up, I am not re-subscribing people manually. You must click on the link below to add your email back to the list.
When You Subscribe to my Author List:
You receive a free ecopy of my award-winning poetry collection, I am Soul.
You get first dibs on book reviews and other services I might offer. My review registry is currently closed for 2021, but my email members get the first chance at registering early. I will pick books from authors on my list first.
You get an inside look at what’s going on behind the scenes of my work, a summary of any blog posts you might have missed, and links to writing resources I might have discovered since we last connected.
If anything happens like yesterday’s outage, you are not left in the dark about what’s going on with me or the services I provide.
Click on the link below to connect with me. You will know you did it right when you receive a welcome email.
This is nothing new. Facebook and Instagram have had outages before. I have no doubt everyone will be back online soon.
That linked article said this happened this morning, but I was on Instagram and Facebook, and it was working fine, so the outage is relatively recent. (I noticed it afternoon-ish.)
The interesting thing about all of this is it wasn’t until I sent my fourth quarter email out to my list that I noticed these platforms were down. I got an alert from the news app on my phone just as soon as I pressed send.
“Oh. Okay.”
Short story: I wasn’t panicked.
This message is simple:
It would be best to have other ways of engaging with your readers outside of these two major platforms. Instagram and Facebook might be the most popular, but they are not the only social networking sites available, nor are they the only places authors should look to when engaging an audience.
If anything permanent happened to these social media sites, I’d like people to know they can still visit me online at yecheilyahysrayl.com, contact me using my contact form and sign up to my email list and blog for updates.
Many Indie Authors depend solely on Instagram and Facebook for sharing content. This isn’t even just for Authors. Many new entrepreneurs operate solely by way of Facebook pages and Cash App.
Not good.
If Instagram and Facebook were to be down indefinitely, people would lose contact with most of their audience.
How so?
Well, my language is poetry so to quote Najwa Zebian: “The biggest mistake that we make is that we build our homes in other people.”
Indie Authors and new entrepreneurs make a mistake when they build their businesses solely on temporary social media platforms with no means of staying in contact with people beyond that social media site.
Consider:
You have 8,000 Instagram followers, but someone hacks you or Instagram dies. You have 12,000 Facebook followers, but FB’s dead too. Now thousands of potentially eager clients no longer exist. Well, they exist, but they have no idea how to contact you because:
You don’t have a website they can visit to support you.
You don’t have an email marketing strategy for them to keep up with you.
You don’t have a blog to continue to share your content. You know, the content you usually share on the Instagram that no longer exists.
Heartbreaking stuff.
Other Ways of Connecting / Interacting with Your Readers Outside of Facebook and Instagram
Every Author Should Have a Website
Not to beat a dead horse here, but you should really have an author website. We’ve talked about this guys. Your website is your home.It is where people can go to learn more about you, buy your books/services, and contact you. This is your main hub, a summary of all things you, the author. Websites demonstrate professionalism, and every professional business has one. Serious Indie Authors should have one too.
Blog
Your blog (which should be easily accessible from your website) is where you provide content. Blogs perform better traffic-wise than static websites because they are updated regularly with new material. I think having a blog and static website is a great balance.
Email
Your email list (which should be easily accessible from your website) is a way of nurturing relationships with new readerswho aren’t following your blog but bought your book and providing updates to loyal readers who want to engage with you more deeply.
Collecting emails to a list is important for Indie Authors because POD services like Amazon’s KDP do not tell you who the people are who bought your book. You see the sale, but not the name or anything else about the customer. This means if I buy your book from Amazon, you won’t know unless I tell you. This makes it challenging to keep track of me as a new reader and build a stronger relationship with me.
This is also why you should be pushing book sales from your author website too because you have a better connection to the people buying your books. Oh, wait, you don’t have a website. See how that works?
Some readers will do you the favor of posting about your book on Facebook and Instagram. But, wait, there is no FB and IG in this scenario.
Other Social Sites
Believe it or not, other social media sites exist. Places like Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube for video, and maybe even LinkedIn can be good alternatives to communicate with your audience if the others are gone.
The point is, there are other ways of being visible online outside of Facebook and Instagram.
I hope this outage helps us to rethink our social media strategy and develop ways of moving those loyal Insta-friends over to our own platforms.
Update: All those random emails ya’ll sent out the blue yesterday to people who probably forgot they signed up to your list is like rushing out to the grocery store to buy food during a shortage rather than just stocking up before the shortage happens.
Moral: Just having an email list is not enough if you don’t use it. It can hurt you more than help you.
Meet and Greet Book Signing 11/13
On 11/13, I am hosting my first book signing since Covid. My last signing was in 2019, so I am nervous and excited to be around people again.
Please be advised we are still fighting this virus, so there is very limited space and vaccinated or not, you must wear your mask. I am also not putting in a large order of books, so first come, first served. COME EARLY.
Welcome back to another episode of No Whining Wednesday! Today, you cannot whine, criticize, or complain.
If you are new to this blog or new to this segment please visit the NWW page herefor past episodes.
This week, I kept thinking about teamwork, network, and community. As such, I was inspired by the following quote from Gwendolyn Brooks.
I did something different this week. I asked my audience on Instagram what the quote meant to them. This was part of my quest for us to be each other’s harvest. As a result, I got a lot of good feedback, and I want to share some of it with you.
But first, a little history:
Gwendolyn Brooks poem from which this quote derives is about the Black singer, and activist Paul Robeson. In fact, the poem is called Paul Robeson.
“The poem from which the text ‘we are each other’s’ is drawn is one example of Brooks’scommitmentto civil rights, a poem she wrote in testament to Paul Robeson. Robeson was a Black actor and activist, a famous baritone who was blacklisted during the McCarthy era for his political commitments. Brooks celebrates his leadership at his death writing, “That time, we all heard it…The major Voice. The adult Voice…warning, in music-words devout and large that we are each other’s harvest: we are each other’s business: we are each other’s magnitude and bond.” – Interfaith Youth Core
Gwendolyn Brooks was a poet whose family moved from Topeka, Kansas, to Chicago during the Great Migration, the massive movement of Blacks from the south to northern cities. Brooks loved Chicago, as I do, and she drew on her experiences in the city to tell the stories of Black urban communities. Brooks called Chicago her “Home Base.”
“We are each other’s harvest: we are each other’s business: we are each other’s magnitude and bond.”
Gwendolyn Brooks lived these words, becoming the first Black Pulitzer prize winner, the Poet Laureate of Illinois, the Poet Laureate Consultant for the Library of Congress, and the first African American woman to be inducted into the American Academy of Arts. She also dedicated time to teaching the next generation of artists in Chicago.
We Are Each Other’s Harvest
In farming, a harvest is a season for gathering crops. (Come on, Queen Sugar fans) One of the reasons I felt this was such a powerfully timely quote is because Fall is harvest season:
“Harvesting is the process of gathering ripe crops, or animals and fish, to eat. While not all crops are ready for harvest in the Fall, apples, winter squashes like pumpkins and acorn squash, and potatoes are!”
– American Farm Bureau for Agriculture
If we are each other’s harvest, we nurture one another. In that spirit of collaboration, we can illustrate the lyrics of this poem by supplying one another with the strength we gather from the positive words of others.
That’s what No Whining Wednesday is about, working together to cut down on our complaints and criticisms by adopting a spirit of gratitude and thankfulness.
Here are some of my favorites from the post, and I would love to hear what you think of the quote as well!
I saw the competition pop up on my IG thread, and the theme of love caught my eye immediately. Being that I am a woman known for always speaking about love and pride myself in how I love people, there was no question on whether I would enter the poetry contest. In addition, I had already written a poem on love and initially submitted that poem because I was not sure if I would have enough time to create a new poem. However, after submitting my first poem, I read how participants could submit two poems and the challenge to us poets to look beyond the normal description of love we often see in poetry. This forced me to visualize all the different perspectives of love.
I love it. What do you love most about poetry?
I love that poetry takes on a life of its own. It can be a song, a narrative, a teacher, a friend, a love letter, a movement, etc. It has its own language to the reader because poetry is personal. It not only speaks to us, but it has the power to move us individually in various ways as if it knows each of us intimately. Does that make sense?
Yes, it does! How did you get started writing?
I started writing when I was very young- it was my escape, and writing was my voice. Although I was outgoing and never had a problem with talking, I struggled with my identity (being understood), so my journals were the only place where I could be myself. I loved how words had the ability to say what I wanted to express vocally. In short, when I wrote, I was free to be me, raw and unapologetic.
You are an author. What has that journey been like for you?
I have to say exciting! I love to hear how something I wrote transformed or inspired someone, which is mostly the core of my writing. But it is also hard because if you are not an established author, it is hard to get your work out there when you are self-published. I had to decide to enjoy the journey no matter what, but your greatest desire is for your work to be read as an author—the journey itself has also been an adventurous teacher. There have been many doors of opportunities that opened for me that I never imagined. For example, my book has been used as a resource in a business. I also use my book as a resource in my work as an encouragement coach, not to mention the speaking opportunities.
You are doing such excellent work. I love it.
As I mentioned earlier, you challenged me. That challenge forced me to look inwardly beyond the “emotion of love” beyond “conceptualizing love,” and I was able to see love in ways that superseded my surface emotions and mental awareness. Realizing that love has always been present, but we are often unaware of its presence. I can admit, I didn’t recognize or appreciate it when I was younger because I allowed others to define love for me.
So, I wanted to give tribute to that type of love and the givers of such love. When they gave, they gave all they had. So as the memories washed over me, I began to write, and it flowed from my being. I saw faces- my mother, grandmother, neighbors, friends. I saw our ancestors, their scarred backs, and forgotten history. When I finished, there was joy and sadness within my heart, and I was proud and, without a second thought, submitted it. It deserved to be read even if I didn’t win. I wrote this poem quickly as the memories washed over me.
That’s beautiful and I can tell you put a lot of thought behind your poem. It’s deep and relatable. I felt right away how set-apart your poem was from the beginning.
What would you say is your writing strength and weakness?
My strength is that I can create a piece quickly. If I am passionate about a topic, the creativity flows. I also love taking chances as a writer, even if I am uncertain if I can write about a particular topic or theme. I put myself out there! I believe it is because I know myself, so I am no longer writing to be affirmed as a writer. I fell in love with my voice, whether written or verbal.
Wait a minute. Sis said, “I know myself, so I am no longer writing to be affirmed as a writer.” That’s a bar.
Okay, go on, lol.
My weakness. Wow, there are two that come to mind. The short one is learning to get out of my head to fully unlock the untapped potential and creativity that I know I have. My second weakness is more of a past weakness, which is fear because it hindered my writing for so long.
I love it! And I think it’s what sets you apart. Are you working on any writing projects/books?
I am currently a full-time student, so I only take on small writing projects for people, such as writing personalized poetry pieces or short stories for birthdays, events, or special projects.
Oh, that’s cool!
I have more books in me, but I am trying to get through these last two years of schooling. I recently, right before school started, for the first time, had the opportunity to work on a script project for a short series, and I can’t wait to see where it goes. There are still more episodes to be written, and I hope I have the time to be on the rest of the project. I will say this, scriptwriting gave me a new desire to write a fictional book and maybe dabble even more into scriptwriting for films.
Yes! I see it.
Where do you see yourself a year from now?
On my last year of college, celebrating being a writer on the series project I mentioned earlier and seeing it on Netflix or Hulu. My book being not only in other states but other countries and being a best seller. I want to impact more lives through my encouragement, coaching, and writings, and I expect more unexpected opportunities that blow my mind! I am also a huge supporter, so I want to be in a position to help beginner writers in whatever way I can.
That all sounds amazing and I pray you go as far as you are destined to.
And without further ado, I introduce to you “Love Is,” by Tiffany James
Grandma’s Hands by Curtis James, June 27th, 2011
Love is distinctively woven into the fabric of our being experienced through the ordinary each day a silent wave of an old memory washing over us; a segue to our humanity.
Love is home, love is grandma’s baby love is survival and hustling; cleaning toilets, scrubbing floors, changing diapers, washing clothes by hand, and layaway plans.
Love is spiritual; a scared village, the spirit’s libation, broken history, and love is migration love is food stamps, government cheese, grits with sugar, and collard greens love is the sand between my toes.
Love is the prize at the bottom of the crackerjack box, love is hopscotch, and double-dutch love is afro-puffs, two French braids and your first French kiss love is overtime, colored easter eggs, Santa Claus tales, and hand-me-downs.
Love is that switch from the tree, love is praying hands and bended knees love is loud, silent, large, small, and intriguingly complex —Love is Proud love is scarred backs and stubborn roots —old hymns and sung negro spirituals.
Love is “I told you so” love is easy like Sunday morning love is Betty Wright, Marvin Gaye, Smokey Robinson, and Patti LaBelle; a brilliant collaboration of lyrical hands fighting for the same devotion because love is Soul Train.
Love is rich soil to the soul love is fearless laughter, getting up at 6am, sleepless nights, untold stories and second chances love is the ancestors’ wisdom —the great orator and the greatest debater.
Love is underestimated, yet chosen love is fierce; righteously angry, patient, and sacrificial — it is the caged bird singing love is the paint, painter, and work of art.
Love is a savior —the hero’s journey Love is amazing grace Love is wealth, life, and death.
Love is not weak; it bows down to no one yet surrenders itself to everyone by its own authority — love is badass. Every time I close my eyes, I witness love.
Love is distinctively woven into the fabric of our being. experienced through the ordinary each day
Today wraps up our poet spotlight for the 4th Annual Poetry Contest. I want to thank everyone who has participated and supported our poets this year. If you want to help coordinate or sponsor next year’s contest, please reach out to me at yecheilyah@yecheilyahysrayl.com. I love hosting these contests, but I can’t do it without your help.
Congratulations again to all our poets!!
You can find their bios on the dedicated page for year four.
I wanted to challenge myself with this poem. I have a love for Greek Mythology that I wanted to incorporate into it. But that is just a part of it. My main inspiration was my current relationship. I’ve learned patience and communication, which was something I lacked in other relationships. I also learned self-love and how important it is to have. You’re supposed to be learning how to love someone else, and the best way to start that is to know how you want and need to be loved first.
Well said!
What do you love most about poetry?
I love the freedom of expression when it comes to poetry. Everyone’s voice is different, but we could all be going through the same thing, and your words need to be heard. Poetry is healing and therapy to me. That’s what I love the most. Being able to put everything down on paper and releasing it. I perform most of my poems, and the stage is where I get the most out of it. Letting the pain and stress or discomfort out in the open for everyone to hear and not to have to worry about it be bottled up inside anymore.
Beautiful. We’d love to hear you recite your poetry one day! We’ll have to set that up. For now, you are a new contestant. In what way do you think contests such as this one are beneficial to authors?
Contests like these are beneficial because of the exposure and the opportunity to step out and be bold. I stepped out of my comfort zone when entering, and I placed. Sometimes you have to step out on faith and believe in yourself, and these contests give authors like myself a place to be bold.
How did you get started writing?
I started writing young. I never really took it seriously. I just knew I loved poetry. I started taking my poetry seriously during my first year of college. I read a poem I wrote to a friend, and she asked me why I hadn’t performed any of my pieces. I had terrible stage fright back then. I would never have dreamed of actually being on stage and performing something I wrote. It scared me to think of what others would think about my inner thoughts, but I loved it. Loved opening my truth up to others because some people felt just the way I did. I found a family that wanted to help me perfect my craft and push myself. I owe a lot to the Deep Release Poetry Society at Valdosta State University. Without that organization, I wouldn’t have challenged myself or continued with my writing.
I admire all the winning poems this year because you guys stepped outside the box.
In your case, you used the Greek Goddess Aphrodite, the ancient goddess of love and beauty. What went into this decision? What was the process of writing this poem like for you?
I pulled all my best ideas into this one. I wanted to make sure everything made sense, so I did some research to ensure I had my Greek Mythology right. The first night I started writing, something happened. I can’t remember what exactly, but I did not finish it that night. It actually took me longer than I thought to finish the ending, but it came together. I enjoyed writing this poem because of the care I put into it.
What would you say is your writing strength and weakness?
My writing strength would have to be relatability. I write to make the reader feel what I mean, not just read it. I want my words to bring out the emotion as much as possible to get the message across. When it comes to my weakness, it would have to be not finishing certain pieces and stopping. I have a bad habit sometimes of having writer’s block and just leaving it there. I have many short poems that need some love.
I feel you. Are you working on any writing projects/books?
I am working on a project and hopefully a book as well. It is still in the beginning stages, but I am hoping to get it launched in the next year.
Yess! Well, be sure to let me know. I’m here for it.
Where do you see yourself a year from now?
I see myself winning more contests, haha.
Okay, you sound like Dondi!
But seriously, I see myself taking my writing to the next level. I know that I have the potential to do more, and I’m ready to act. Sometimes we fall short of knowing what we are capable of, and we stop ourselves from doing more. But this time next year, I hope to have one book under my belt.
That’s right, sis. Speak it into existence! Be on the lookout for her book next year, ya’ll.
And without further ado, I introduce to you “The Secret Garden,” by Jasmina Jammison
Photo by Kilyan Sockalingum on Unsplash
I once dreamed I lived in the Secret Garden Where I mastered patience and understanding Where dreams were reality Where faith didn’t have to be the size Of a mustard seed And she lived there with me
We knew each other in and out In this garden, we were mythological Like something out of a Greek novel Aphrodite graced us with her presence
And we learned love without conditions. We shared passions and pains Learned how to inhale peace with every breath She loved me for just me, every ounce of me But this is a Secret Garden after all
I woke up Because dreams are only real when you’re asleep There was no us It was just me No garden to hide in No one to love my flaws Cupid didn’t exist in this world No arrows to hit me with No infinite peace
So I learned how to build How to pick up bricks of my past Lay down and surrender to every slab Of cement in between And mold a fence of love and understanding
We can build the Secret Garden. With every ounce of despair With every love lost With the love of oneself We can build a mansion
I know this because she is here In the walls of this fence And she loves me for just me
She picked up my bricks And helped me build I put down her insecurities As she laid down my losses in cement Together we know peace and intimacy
We built this mansion on a foundation Of affliction She gave me the blueprints to her heart And I made a note of every measurement Handmade every detail to perfection Carved my name in the outline of her heart And I pray she’ll keep me there forever
Because this love only comes Once in a lifetime we made sure this house wouldn’t collapse These walls are too sturdy We never needed the Secret Garden To build what we have Aphrodite taught us that
My inspiration for this poem was really the essence of life itself. Without love, there is no life.
Hmm. I like that! What do you love most about poetry?
I love the wordplay, how you can paint a picture, tell a story, or escape into your own little world. Better yet, you can sing a beautiful song and not sing one note.
You are a returning contestant. What would you say are some benefits of contests like this to writers?
Some benefits of a contest like this is not just the exposure as a poet or writer, but the opportunity to meet other poets from all over. Plus, being able to showcase versatility and depth with a theme.
What I always admire about your poetry is what I like about your answers so far. It’s powerful in its simplicity. You don’t say a lot, but what you do say, I can tell, is from your heart, from the soul. That’s not easy to do.
Tell us, what was the process of writing this poem like for you?
The process of writing this poem for me was actually kind of challenging. Writing to a theme is not always easy, as it makes you think and stretch your creative muscle. Once I got the direction I wanted to go with, the words came easy.
What would you say is your writing strength and weakness?
My writing comes mostly from my life’s experiences and personal growth. So I would have to say that’s my writing strength and my weakness. I have no technical training. I just like to write. When it comes to poetry, I just throw the rules out the window and write it how I feel it.
I love it! And I think it’s what sets you apart. Are you working on any writing projects/books?
Yes. I am working on a project and a book. I have a short inspirational book called “Can’t Stay Here” that I’m doing edits on right now. Also, I’m working on a memoir about my journey into veganism, called “Vegan-is-M(e)/Deeper Than A Diet.”
Nice! Well, we congratulate you on all your endeavors and wish you the best. I’m really looking forward to t”Can’t Stay Here!”
Where do you see yourself a year from now?
A year from now, I see myself back here, competing for the grand prize, and blogging.
That’s the spirit! Dondi said he coming back, ya’ll! I love to see it.
And without further ado, I introduce to you “Love Is,” by Dondi A. Springer
Photo by Joseph Barrientos on Unsplash
Love is a life that flows like a fluid An infinite vibration like waves of an ocean Touching your soul, the arrow of a cupid That breath of fresh air, when life’s undercurrent comes grasping To some, it comes freely, to others, it comes while kneeling. That long labor of love is where you will find compassion The blind will see the light to walk out of their plight It is the fluid of life More than just a feeling, love becomes a part of your being It runs deep in your veins, limitless like the astroplane Love makes us all relate, with no space for hate So we are all connected in this space Love is…
I did something different this week. I asked my audience on Instagram what the quote meant to them. This was part of my quest for us to be each other’s harvest. As a result, I got a lot of good feedback, and I want to share some of it with you.
The PBS Blog 