No Whining Wednesday – Growth Isn’t Always What You Can See

NWW(1)

Welcome back to another episode of No Whining Wednesday! Today, you cannot whine, criticize, or complain.

If you are new to this blog or new to this segment please visit the NWW page here for past episodes.

Today’s inspiring word is about growth:

I’ve heard growth several times this week and the one message that stuck with me is this one.

“Growth isn’t always what you can see.”

While I love that people realize the importance of self-love these days, social media can make that look like a fairy tale. People start to make money and travel, and then they post pictures of themselves living their best life and caption it something about self-love. This can give the impression loving on yourself is only luxury. 

But self-love is not all glamorous. It is not manicures and pedicures and vacations to Ghana. That can be a form of self-care, but self-love includes:

  • Acknowledging your own crap
  • Setting Boundaries
  • Discipline
  • Forgiveness
  • Saying No
  • Speaking Up
  • Seeking therapy 
  • and more (add them here)

People have gone so far as to say they are not humble because “humility is thinking low of oneself.” A lot of this “self-love” on the internet is really just arrogance masquerading as growth.

What I have noticed is growth is being promoted as this outward, physical thing. Growth can be outward. We do not have the same bodies as adults we had as children because our bodies grow and expand as we age. 

But a twelve-year-old with a twenty-year-old body still has the mind of a twelve-year-old.

And a sixteen-year-old who reads and counts at the level of a ten-year-old would be considered for a learning disability.

These examples show growing outwardly is not enough. 

Outward growth is expansion. Inward growth is depth. 

Root vegetables like carrots, potatoes, and beets don’t look like much outwardly because they grow underground. Peanuts also grow underground.

We can also see this by looking at the tree in general. Its branches stretch wide with leaves and fruit, and it’s beautiful.

But if that tree is not rooted in the soil, it will be blown away by the weakest storm.

No matter how beautiful the tree has expanded on the outside, the tree doesn’t stand a chance if its roots have not grown deep below.

Just because you do not physically see the growth does not mean it’s not happening.

No Whining Wednesday – Never Judge Clarity on How Others Respond

NWW(1)

No Whining Wednesdays are back!!

It’s been awhile so let’s do a quick recap.

What is No Whining Wednesday?

Coined by Iyanla Vanzant, NWW is a segment I added to this blog a couple of years ago to help us stay motivated for the remainder of the week. You can look at it as the extra push to get over the hump on “hump day.” For the entire day on Wednesdays, you cannot whine, complain, or criticize.

No Whining Wednesday is not only a fun exercise but a gratitude practice. To keep from complaining, you have to remind yourself of all the things you are grateful for.

The hope is we can lessen the complaints we have not only on Wednesdays but every day.

Here are some definitions:

To Whine – give or make a long, high-pitched complaining cry or sound; to grumble, murmur or complain in a feeble way.

To Complain – express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event; state that one is suffering from; state of grievance.

To Criticize – indicate the faults of (someone or something) in a disapproving way; to condemn, attack, discourage.

If you are new to this blog please visit the NWW page here for past episodes.

Today’s inspiring word to help get through your day comes from Vanzant herself.

IMG-1375

Though I am a black movie buff and can probably quote the lines to every black movie ever made, I don’t watch much TV during the day. Most of my TV watching is in the evenings and on the weekend. If I find I am finished with work early, I am reading or listening to a YouTube video in the background while doing laundry or something. While listening to an inspirational compilation of Iyanla Vanzant’s speeches, I came across this quote.

“Never judge your clarity on how others respond.”

I am sure we can all draw our own meaning from this. For me, it means having the courage to stick with what you know is right in your heart. It means if you’ve been given divine instruction to do something, don’t change your mind because someone else rejects the idea or doesn’t understand it. It means if you’ve been given absolute clarity on something, don’t let others plant the seed of doubt in your heart despite how good their intentions. It means to hold on tight to your integrity.

Clarity – the quality of being coherent and intelligible. Clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity.

It was hard for me to delete my email list at first because I was worried about how other people would respond. I didn’t want anyone to take it personally. Look at me, worried about how somebody else will feel about something I am absolutely clear about doing. Ain’t that crazy?

It was only when I listened and did what I knew needed to be done that I could see the freedom in the decision.

Since restarting my list, I have far fewer subscribers but more engagement. My open rate went from 30-70% because the people on my list want to be there. I am absolutely clear about that.

Your turn!

What does this quote mean to you?

Have you ever changed your mind about something you were clear about because of how someone else responded?

How do you plan to lessen your number of complaints today?

 

The Weight of Writing

Photo by Pulkit Jain on Unsplash

The weight of what we write. The ability to influence the direction of a decision. To direct the path of someone’s life for better or for worse. The responsibility of altering a person’s state of mind. Isn’t it blood on our hands if we do it wrong? People watch and people mimic. Can we be counted on to be saviors and not devils? Heavy is the pen. This is the weight of writing.