Tag: love

On Soft Hearts

Do not ask me not to care. I will care anyway. I will wonder why the flower doesn’t bloom. Why its petals are dry. Why is there a flower falling to pieces for lack of moisture? I will wonder about the soil and the colors in the sky. I will mourn with those who are sad, rub empathy on the wounds of those who are bruised. I will care about people who probably won’t think twice about me. I will take this heart of flesh and show them that I am hurt too and I too have been trampled upon. Here, see the holes and scars on my skin. But we don’t have to let our hearts grow cold or build walls that are too high for people to climb. When everyone’s a savage, do not be afraid to be soft. There’s got to be someone in this chaotic world who can show proof that there can still be love, after war.

The PBS Blog Podcast Ep 18 – Love is Reciprocal

I talk a lot about self-love and the importance of learning to love yourself but do not misunderstand me: love is reciprocal. Just as you give love you should also receive love. Love should always come back to you and if it doesn’t something is wrong. Understand that loving yourself is the foundation. It sets the stage for how you will allow yourself to be treated but it is not the end. Once you are capable of fully and unapologetically loving yourself you have a responsibility to give love and you have a right to receive love. Remember, what’s in the cup is yours and the overflow is for others.

Listen to the full podcast, “Love is Reciprocal” below on Soundcloud and iTunes.

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-573689310

Itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-pbs-blog-podcast/id1344901312?mt=2

Twitter: https://twitter.com/pbsblogpodcast

IG: https://www.instagram.com/thepbsblog/

To follow my personal IG page @yecheilyah

Remember that you can catch all 18 episodes by visiting the podcast page HERE. Also, my Soundcloud limit is up and I have now upgraded to a pro account. But if at any time that does not fit in with my budget I cannot be sure I will continue with this series so enjoy this while you can! I have much more urgent financial responsibilities so I will cut this off if I need to. But, know that you can always find the episodes on my Soundcloud page or on the podcast page of this blog.

Throwback Thursday Jam, 00s – Fantasia – When I See You

Been a minute since I threw it back to the early 2000s. This been my jam lately. Even though I’ve been married several years, I always think about my hubby when this song comes on. I still have a crush on him! 💜

 

Self-Love: A Process

When I started my self-love journey, at 30, I didn’t even know it was a thing. I didn’t know that other women had started self-love journeys too, many of them starting in their 30s. I also thought, when I started, that I was headed to a specific place. “I’m on a journey of self-love,” I’ll tell people. They probably just rolled their eyes. I was acting like I was on my way to the spa or something. Like after three weeks of prayer and meditation I would arrive. That suddenly, after a month of Sunday’s I would be so aware of myself that insecurity and uncertainty would never find me again.

Over one year later and I am still finding myself, still learning myself, still fighting off insecurities and uncertainties. Almost two years and I am still developing that deeply personal and spiritual understanding of myself. That’s because self-love is a process, a journey, not a destination. It’s not some place you come to after three prayers and an inspirational quote. It’s something that develops over time and that only gets stronger as you age.

Ever wonder why elderly men and women have such a “I don’t give a damn,” attitude?

It’s not that they don’t care about anything. It’s just that they’ve been on this Earth long enough to have such a deeply personal understanding of who they are that they will not allow anyone else to tell them about themselves, neither do they care what others think of their actions. It’s important for you to know that you will not get to the place they are immediately. Just like they had to go through the years, you will have to go through them too so you shouldn’t rush the process. It could take years to truly heal from trauma, heartache, depression, self-hatred or whatever spirit is stopping you from fully loving yourself.

This also means that in this process you will have to be intentional, deliberate, and disciplined about re-examining who you are as an individual. And you must be very, very honest with yourself. Without honesty, you are doing yourself a great disservice and you are headed for self-destruction. A life built on deception will eventually crumble. You can’t heal by covering the wounds with more crap. You must expose the wound and allow healing to take place. This can’t happen if you’re just going to lie to yourself.

Before you commit, understand that Self-love is a long-term commitment of learning and knowing yourself. It happens in stages and can take years.

Now, go write a poem about Self-love or Self-Care in some way and enter it into my 2nd Annual Poetry Contest! We are SIX days out. Don’t miss the chance to win money, a beautiful notebook and pen, publication, promotion, and books!

What does self-care mean to you? What does it look like to you? What do you think of when you hear self-love? How can we take better care of ourselves?

CLICK HERE to read through all the entry rules and guidelines and then email your poem to yecheilyah(at)yecheilyahysrayl(dot) com. Also remember this is a free entry contest so there’s no entry fee to enter. But hurry! Time is running out!

8 Basic Tips for Social Media Etiquette

anete-lusina-609857-unsplash

On social media, everything is a part of your brand and is an extension of you. People don’t know you personally so all they have to work with is the vibes you give off. From the way that you send emails, your blog posts, your social media posts and newsletters, everything. What you publish reveals who you are and can tell people one or two things. Either you’re a nasty, disrespectful person or you’re a kind, respectful person. It doesn’t take much to show others respect and appreciation and it may also grant you a follower, or more, a supporter for life. Below are some basic actions we can implement to help to keep our respect levels at an all-time high.

Give Thanks

When someone reblogs or pingbacks on one of your posts, say thank you. It really just takes a second. Although the person probably didn’t share your post to look good, everyone likes to be appreciated. This same thing applies to any social media sharing. When others share your work, thank them. They didn’t have to do it.

Respond to Comments

When someone leaves a comment on your blog or social media in general, respond back. Let them know you see their support and you appreciate it. Remember, no one has to say anything to you so acknowledge those who do.

Use Names

It only takes a second to navigate to the person’s avatar and discover what their name is. You can see some people’s names with their comment profile but for some, you may have to visit their blog to see their real name. Taking a few seconds out of your day to go the extra mile is a form of respect. Using the person name also makes it more personable and shows you really mean it. It makes the other person feel good inside that you took the time to learn their name.

Follow their Blog, Twitter, IG, Like their FB pages, etc

If you really connect with someone, show that you are interested in learning more about them and their work by following their social media pages. You can learn a lot about a person, or at least glimpse who they are, by following them on social media.

Participate

How will we know you’re not just some robot follower or someone following to get a follow back? Through your level of participation. When following someone on social media, don’t just follow and become a ghost. Participate. Retweet their pinned tweet or something they are promoting. Thank them if they retweet something of yours and share their information with your audience as you would like them to do for you.  Like some of their Facebook posts. You don’t have to become a stalker but remember, actions speak louder than words. Show you’re a real person by genuinely participating.

Don’t Be Disrespectful

A wise person once said, don’t burn your bridges. I am sure we’ve all heard this before. The saying suggests that you never know who you will need later in life and where you will have to go so don’t cut off what could possibly connect you to something greater on the other side. Don’t burn down your bridge. Understand that there will be differences in opinions and it’s OK to disagree. In fact, I am all for being firm and standing your ground, but don’t allow someone to get you so upset that you are out of character and are being disrespectful in a way you can’t come back from.

Remember that people are not dumb. Even through texting and social media we can still tell when someone’s being “smart” and condescending. Using all caps, exclamation marks, and publishing blog posts indirectly talking to other bloggers are all signs that you are angry and will not be missed by your fellow peers. They may find this behavior childish and disrespectful and you could lose a good supporter forever. It is possible to disagree with someone and leave them with their dignity.

Ask Questions and Never Assume

We have a duty, especially on social media, to communicate our wants and needs with anyone we share personal space with. This includes blogging and social media. People’s lives are busy and you never know what someone is going through. If there’s something you don’t understand, something that needs clarity, or if you yourself want to clarify something, be sure to communicate effectively and ask questions when needed. Never,  make assumptions and be clear that you are dealing with 100% factual information. Anything that is spoken about in anger that is not reflective of the truth can turn potential clients / readers / supporters off. It means you didn’t even have the decency to verify your information before attacking them.

Always ask questions and never make assumptions. Also, if someone asks you a question, try your best to answer it. If you don’t know the answer swallow your pride and admit you don’t know (no one knows everything). But don’t leave the question hanging in the air. It could be read as a sign of disrespect.

Don’t Disrespect Your Spouse / Loved Ones on Social Media

The way you treat those closets to you speaks volumes about who you are. If you talk about your husband or wife in a way that is nasty it doesn’t just embarrass him/her, it also embarrasses you. It brings shame to your household and makes you look childish and unkind. Never, ever, disrespect the one you love in public either by revealing personal matters or cursing them out on social media. This is especially shameful if you’re a writer or businessperson. Who wants to support someone who demeans the people they love so effortlessly? Not me.

Be careful how you talk to people online. Emails, personal DMs and phone calls are ways you can reach out to people privately if you have  pressing issues. (These are also good ways to communicate if you see someone doing something wrong and feel they need correction. Sometimes people just need to be educated, not demeaned.) Respect starts at home. Give it to your household first and then give it to others.

 

What about you? Are there any other ways of being respectful in the blog / social media world we can add to this list?? Let me hear yours!