Today we are introducing and spotlighting Tinzley Bradford, poetry contest sponsor! Tinzley is an author, relationship coach, motivational speaker, and correspondent for Bold Favor Magazine.
Tinzley Bradford was born in Atlanta, Georgia. She’s a single mom who knows all about single parenting while dating. For years through her dating blog, “And You Wanna See My Feet” and her tell-it-like-it-is YouTube videos, she has helped single moms and single women get their love lives together. The relationship coach has also been seen giving single mom dating advice on “Dr. Drew’s on Call” TV show on HLN, and The Single in Stilettos Show with Match Maker and Dating Coach Suzanne Oshima. Her local media 11 Alive News in Atlanta has been featured in a slew of articles, such as Mommy Noire interviewed by Top Relationship Coach Abiola Abrams, Single in ATL.com, Thoughtful Minds United and a ton of other blog post appearances. Tinzley is known for her no-nonsense advice for single women and strongly believes in refusing to settle for any old treatment as the key to living a settle-free life and not tolerating any behavior that is not healthy for you.
A Message from Tinzley
“I write because I want to share my message and help single moms and women make wiser choices when choosing their mates. I truly believe God has given me a gift to educate women by changing the way they view themselves hence changing the way they view what having a healthy fulfilling relationship should look and feel like. I write because I want to heal you, women, who are broken, who have been lied to, taken advantage of, mistreated, used and abused, misled. I want to be that voice of reason outside of your spiritual connection that gives you the courage needed to overcome ALL obstacles, bad or abusive relationships and self-esteem issues. I’m here to inspire, I’m here to encourage, I’m here to share, I’m here to not only help you learn to love yourself enough to not settle, but to love yourself period whether you are in a relationship or not.
Bradford at the10th Annual UnSung Heroine Awards where she has been honored. Congrats Tinzley!
I offer insight on the importance of not settling for unfulfilling relationships which I believe can often lead to drug abuse, depression, abusive relationships, prostitution, sex trafficking, mental illness, and self-hate. Over the years, I’ve seen so many broken women who just can’t seem to get unstuck and many of them have become this way after being in a bad or abusive relationship. I’ve seen people with so much potential become drug addicts, prostitutes, criminals, abuse victims, and many become mentally ill, insecure, and no longer have any get up and go about themselves and they have just given up on hope. I want you to know it’s time out for settling for mediocrity and not wanting better for yourselves. I want you to know that no matter what your past or present situation may look like, there is hope…. You Are More!” – http://www.tinzleybradford.com
A beacon of life and hope not only for single mothers but for all women! Tinzley’s Settle-Free Dating Method will SET YOU FREE! “AND YOU WANNA SEE MY FEET” was the book based on the popular lifestyle blog by top relationship coach Tinzley Bradford. The quirky name of her blog came from an unfortunate encounter from one of her many pursers who wanted to judge her worthiness based on her feet when he wasn’t even up to her level to himself. A single mother herself, she’s the daughter of a single mother and the mother of a single mom and for her, the cycle ends now! The Settle-Free Dating Method is more than just a dating guide…this is a way to conquer your relationship life and make it fun, healthy and spicy so you get the love you deserve! Because YOU ARE MORE!
One of the most distracting things about being an entrepreneur is wanting to do right so badly that you fear doing anything at all, especially if everyone is pulling you in a lot of different directions or telling you why you shouldn’t do this and that. But as I said on one of the podcast episodes, I often do what I am afraid to do, so much so that people don’t think I am shy. Even my own blood sister said I was outspoken. This had me thinking. ‘Surely, my sister would know me enough to know.’ And sometimes you do need someone outside of yourself to reveal the truth of who you are, a truth maybe even you couldn’t see. The truth is that I am a very private person but no one ever changed the world sitting at home in the dark. So, though afraid, I step out to try things that disturb the fear in me. Things that make me go, “I don’t know”, are the things I strive to do. That’s courage. Not the absence of fear but the presence of it while you act on whatever it is that’s making you afraid. Being afraid, but doing it anyway.
I was so nervous at my last signing and I wanted to use being late as an excuse to leave. In fact, I was going to walk in and reschedule. That was my intent. I had literally made up my mind that I would just do the evening signing but guess what? Most people came to the morning signing, the one I was too afraid to do. The one outside of my comfort zone. Had I just did the evening signing, I would not have sold many books. The people just did not show up in the numbers I’d anticipated.
So what am I saying? What is all this about? It is about leaping.
Do what you are afraid to do. Jump. Take risks. Don’t wait until you got it together to put yourself out there. Remember, faith is the expectation of what you can’t see because if you can see it, then what is there to expect? So go. Take the first step even though you can’t see the whole staircase. Publish that book even though you don’t know if people will like it. Start that blog even though you don’t know what to write about. Record that first podcast or YouTube video even though you don’t think you will get much support. Start that business even though you don’t know how successful it will be. The joy is in the not knowing! If you know you’re going to win then your dreams are too small. Why would I race a 4-year-old? I know that I am going to win. There’s no challenge. So leap. In the words of Lisa Nichols, ‘leap afraid and then gather your courage on the way down.’
New poems have been added to the page! Subscribe to watch Her Skin, Letters to Some of the Black Women Writers who Inspired Me, If My Books Shall Die and more!
Its late but Friday is not over people! Well, not for some of us anyway so we’re going to squeeze this article on in.
Today, we have a special fun fact for you. My maiden name is Hereford and I have a mother, brother, and sisters who still carry this last name. In fact, I’ve met very few people with this name I was not related to. Unlike Johnson, Brown or Jackson (no shade to those with these last names), Hereford is not as common. So when I came across this man online, I was noticeably interested. My mother says that my grandfather, her father, is from Alabama and that Sonnie looks like her dad. This has prompted me to do more research on the man and to plan a visit to Alabama to discover more. It’s possible we had a Civil Rights Activist in the family and didn’t know it. In 1961, Hereford was one of the plaintiffs suing the Huntsville school system to end segregation, and in 1963, his son, Sonnie Hereford IV, was one of the first four black children to enroll in a previously all-white public school in Alabama. But, let’s start from the beginning.
Dr. Sonnie Wellington Hereford III was born on January 7, 1931, in Huntsville, Alabama. The family had no running water or electricity and Sonnie had to walk seven miles to school. The school, next to a garbage dump, didn’t have a library or cafeteria, much like most black schools at the time. Hereford was a farmer but developed a love for education. Even though his school had no library, the teachers were invested in him as they were in all their students. Though lacking in resources, black schooling at the time was exceptional, involving a strong community spirit and discipline. Teachers took on more than just a role as a teacher but they were also mothers, fathers, and mentors. For this, Sonnie received a good education and decided he wanted to become a doctor.
Sonnie graduated first in his class and applied to the University of Alabama for their pre-med program. However, Sonnie’s application was denied because of his color so he enrolled at Alabama A&M University instead. Hereford graduated from A&M in 2 years and went on to receive his medical degree from Meharry Medical College. He began his career at Huntsville Hospital in Huntsville Alabama and went on to play important roles in the struggle for Civil Rights. Not only was he a doctor but he also helped to aid men and women attacked during the Selma to Montgomery march, welcomed Martin Luther King Jr., to the city in 1962 and helped to integrate the city at various establishments. In fact, school desegregation is what Sonnie became most known for.
Sonnie IV was among four children chosen to desegregate schooling in Alabama and on September 3, 1963, Hereford took his six-year-old son to school but they could not get in. Instead, a mob waited for them and none of the other children were admitted to the other schools either. Sonnie didn’t give up, he returned but the school was locked down and guarded every day with armed troops. Eventually, Hereford contacted the federal judge and over time an order was issued to desegregate the schools in Huntsville. On Monday, September 9, 1963, Hereford successfully enrolled his son at Fifth Avenue School making Sonnie Hereford IV the first African-American student admitted to a previously all-white public school in Alabama. That following week, Sunday, September 15, the church bombing occurred in Birmingham killing four little girls at the 16th Street Baptist Church.
Sonnie died at 85 years old, two weeks before the ribbon cutting ceremony at the Sonnie Hereford Elementary School in Huntsville Alabama, named for him by the Huntsville board of education. The school ranges from Pre-K to sixth grade.
Learn more about Sonnie at the informative video below!
It’s National Poetry Month and I am uploading audio videos of some of my poems to YouTube. I have taken them down from Soundcloud (as I am transitioning that page to an exclusive podcast page) and will be instead bringing them to YouTube. At this time I have five videos locked and loaded for you and will be adding more over time. So, if you would, please, welcome me back by subscribing to the channel and thanks so much for your support. (I’ve even done something I don’t usually do. I added hashtags to the headline. You see that? I’m being converted!)
I’ve also created a Facebook Group. Follow We Are Soul HERE(I am keeping this one)
Be sure to pick up your copy of I am Soul on Amazon here! A new review is in:
“The book is of discovery, healing and a slight political stance. It covers issues from simple being to issues of current affairs. It’s beautiful, soft and strong. From beginning to end the book is inspiring and reached into depths of my own inquisitive mind and soul.”
Blogging takes up a lot of time. To arrange a decent post takes at least an hour depending on how long the post is. For posts that require lots of research, it can take several days of research and gathering links before actually composing the post in the WordPress editor. Still, we are told that the best way to blog is to do it consistently. For busy bloggers, those with jobs and children and basically a life outside of the internet, blogging consistently is a real challenge.
You Don’t Have to Blog Everyday
The assumption that you have to publish a post every day is not entirely accurate. While posting every day is cool, that’s not ideal for everyone. Keeping a consistent blog is important but you don’t have to publish a post every single day in order to be successful. Be disciplined but do not obligate yourself to other people’s schedules. Just choose 2-3 days out of the week that you would like to dedicate to updating your blog.
Schedule Your Posts
Not every post has to be in real time. One of the biggest time savers for me is scheduling posts. This requires a bit of discipline since I have to get started days earlier depending on when I want the post to publish. For my Black History Fun Fact Friday posts, these are always scheduled days ahead because it requires research, fact-checking, and accuracy. To schedule your posts, here’s what you do:
Dashboard > New Post > Write out your post
Once you have written out your post, added tags and all that good stuff, scroll over to the publish section of the screen. It should be in the top right-hand corner. Next, to publish immediately, click on edit. The calendar will come up and you can choose when you would like the post to publish and the time. Keep in mind that the time will be in accordance with the timezone you have set. I am on USA Eastern Standard Time but my settings are Central Standard Time because I have moved to another state. When scheduling posts, I keep this in mind. (For those of you in the United States, it helps to choose a scheduling time that is convenient for people in other countries too. Scheduling my posts midnight my time means it will publish sometime in the morning in other countries. I have found this to work well).
Establish Segments
Publishing quality posts is important but the quality posts usually take up the most time. You may get something good every so often, but not every day. (I have not published a poem in awhile). That’s why I think establishing segments can help. A segment is something special you have going on that occurs at the same time or day every week or every month. My No Whining Wednesday and Black History Fun Fact Friday are examples. I’ve been slacking, but segments like these help to keep this blog updated and it may help you as well. It will give you something to look forward to and if you are a super busy blogger, will help you to be consistent with your posts at least once or twice a week. I find it also helps with branding. People will get used to your segments and look forward to them. They may even follow your blog specifically for that segment alone.
Choose from the most used tags
Tagging your post can be time consuming, especially if you’re OCD like me where everything has to be perfect. You don’t want to just use any tags but you also don’t have a lot of time to publish this post. Well, once you’ve been blogging a while, under the tags you will see something that says “choose from the most used tags.” These are tags you use often.
You can click on these tags quickly to tag your post with the generic tags (like, blog, wordpress, writers, etc.) and then spend the rest of your time adding authentic tags, or tags that are specific to your post. You can also blog from your phone if that saves time, which leads to my next point.
Install the WordPress App
I am not always at home when my posts publish but I am capable of responding to comments quickly and visiting other blogs because of the WordPress app. It took me a minute to actually catch on (I used to do it the long way by just checking my email) but once I did it has made blogging for me easier by cutting down on time. You can instantly see who has commented on your post and who has liked your post using the app. Am I the only one who still pays attention to post likes? Probably so but this helps me to get to know my readers more actually. I know who the active followers of this blog are and the followers who no longer participate. I am aware of those who used to comment all the time and now do not and I know who the new subscribers are who have taken on that role. I even know some of the followers who have been here since day one. This leads to my last idea.
Pay Attention
Pay attention to the posts people are really engaged in, the posts they enjoy most and interact with the most. This will cut down on a lot of time spent drafting something no one wants to read. I mean, I don’t spend a lot of time caring about what people will think of my posts, to be honest, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good idea to think about others from time to time. It’s your blog and you can write what you want and you should but blogging’s not fun without engagement. If you wrote a poem everyone liked, you may want to start to incorporate more poetry into your blog. After all, it’s about being of service to the people and not just in service to yourself.
You could be doing this as your post goes live, but you didn’t schedule it!
Welcome back to No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you do not get to whine, complain, and criticize for an entire 24hour period. If you are new to this blog or new to this segment, visit the first post HERE.
Today’s quote:
We live in a world where people post memes and quotes every day as if putting those words into action is as easy as a click of a finger on a screen. But I’ll be the first to admit that I have been an over-explainer and that it is only now in my life that I am consciously aware of this and have decided to cut it out. No one wants to be misunderstood but I found that constantly explaining my position to people revealed some of my own baggage. There are reasons why I feel misunderstood and history behind why I’ve felt the need to lay it all out in hopes that people “got me.” Once I understood that I was subtly exposing myself with the unnecessary baggage of explanations, this is when I decided not to do it anymore.
What I love about this quote is that it doesn’t say “not” to explain yourself. Sometimes going in depth about things is necessary but you don’t have to explain yourself to everyone simply because there are some people who have already made up their minds about who you are. Explaining yourself to these people is a waste of time. Because some people have made up their minds, this also means that it depends on how deeply you know yourself. If you don’t know who you are you will always be tailoring your actions and words toward the thoughts and opinions of other people. You will always get emotional and stressed about the things they say about you and you will always feel the need to explain yourself because you don’t really know who you are. That’s the deeper aspect of this that I have had to learn.
As you understand who you are and act and think in accordance to the things that align with who you are, the less obligated you’ll feel to explain yourself to people who don’t know you at all.
A beacon of life and hope not only for single mothers but for all women! Tinzley’s Settle-Free Dating Method will SET YOU FREE! “AND YOU WANNA SEE MY FEET” was the book based on the popular lifestyle blog by top relationship coach Tinzley Bradford. The quirky name of her blog came from an unfortunate encounter from one of her many pursers who wanted to judge her worthiness based on her feet when he wasn’t even up to her level to himself. A single mother herself, she’s the daughter of a single mother and the mother of a single mom and for her, the cycle ends now! The Settle-Free Dating Method is more than just a dating guide…this is a way to conquer your relationship life and make it fun, healthy and spicy so you get the love you deserve! Because YOU ARE MORE!
The PBS Blog 