Tag: self-love
Understand Your Strength
The first headline for this article was “Knowing Your Strength”. When I thought about it more, however, I was soon reminded that knowing your strength and understanding it are two different things. To know your strength is to have identified what it is. To understand your strength, however, is not only the ability to identify it but to fully comprehend it and to therefore incorporate it into your daily life. To understand your strength is to understand you.
The constant echo of Indie Author advice can be overwhelming. In addition, there are lots of people who take advantage of the new author’s lack of knowledge in its relation to both writing and publishing. (especially publishing) Everyone swears by their method and technique. The only problem is that what works for one person may not necessarily work for the next and it doesn’t take long for new authors to feel doubtful and overwhelmed. While many of you are professional, skilled, and experienced enough to offer valuable insight, what authors must keep in mind is not just what is right, but what is right for them. Look not just at what works, but for what works for you. And not just what works for you, but also where you’re the strongest.
People talk about weaknesses all the time. It is easy to boast in our weaknesses but we cannot be weak without also being strong. Yes, we all have flaws but we also all have strengths. It is when we embrace who we are and tap into what we should offer others according to who we are that we find ourselves performing better, putting out more valuable content, and making a greater impact on the people around us as opposed to “trying” something that may be a good idea but that does not represent who we are.
Strength can be defined as: the quality or state of being strong; strong: able to withstand great force or pressure.
What Happens if I Don’t Understand My Strength?
You become a carbon copy of someone else or a shadow of your real self. A silhouette of who you think you are supposed to be, an outline with no flesh and bone. In short, you become what you think people want to see and attach your actions and thoughts to that image. When that image is destroyed, so are you and you begin to feel just as worthless and as without substance as the image that you’ve made for yourself.
Understanding your strength does not just help you to begin, it helps you also to endure and this we can apply to every aspect of our lives. This message is not just for writers, but for everyone. Take exercise for example. I know that I am capable of doing no less than a 30min. workout but no more than 1 hour. I get up every morning and dedicate at least 30 minutes to my workout but no less. It takes discipline but because I understand my strength, I push myself to do what I know that I am capable of. By looking forward to the 30minutes, it does not seem overwhelming and I am more excited to get up and perform. At the same time, I do not push myself beyond an hour. I understand my strength is not there yet. It will also be taxing and I will be less likely to look forward to doing it or completing it. I will complain more and pretty much whine myself out of doing it.
While Indie Authors will run into many people trying to take advantage of them, people offering everything from products and services that Indies soon discover they don’t really have to pay for, what keeps me grounded—and what I offer to you with the same hope—is understanding the areas where I am the most strong. Having already a firm foundation in those things, it provides a great leverage on which to build. Instead of starting from scratch, pay most attention to those things that speak to who you already are, that connects with your spirit, and that bonds with you mentally in a way that is most you. Don’t just “do you” but know you and understand your strength.
- What can you do for the rest of your life whether you got paid or not and actually enjoy doing it?
- What are you the most skilled at? That thing you’ve always been able to do? That spark?
- What are you the most passionate about?
- What is your mission in life? What is your purpose?
- How can you combine your purpose with your career goals in the most genuine way?
Yecheilyah Ysrayl is a Blogger, Book Reviewer, and the Young Adult, Historical Fiction author of Black American Literature and is currently working on her next book series. “Renaissance: The Nora White Story” (Book One) is due for release July 15-16, 2017 at The Tampa Indie Author Book Convention in Tampa Florida. Originally from Chicago, IL, she now resides in Shreveport, LA with her husband where she writes full time. For updates from EC, be sure to follow this blog and to subscribe to her email list HERE.
May I Ask
Who taught you to hate yourself?
“Who taught you to hate the texture of your hair? Who taught you to hate the color of your skin? To such extent you bleach, to get like the white man. Who taught you to hate the shape of your nose and the shape of your lips? Who taught you to hate yourself from the top of your head to the soles of your feet? Who taught you to hate your own kind? Who taught you to hate the race that you belong to so much so that you don’t want to be around each other? The most disrespected woman in America, is the black woman. The most un-protected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America, is the black woman.”
– Malcolm X, May 5, 1962 at the funeral service of Ronald Stokes in Los Angeles.
Gabrielle Gorman’s “Dear America”: When You Don’t Love the Skin You’re In
Touching. Thank you Shannon for sharing.
On December 8th, I attended the 2015 My Hero Awards, in order to watch my dear friend Kayla Briet win the Emerging Artist Award for her work in film, music and technology.
While Kayla’s work always mesmerizes me, another award recipient named Gabrielle Gorman brought me and many others to tears with her experimental film “Dear America,” for which she won the title of 2015 Student Honoree.
Photo courtesy of the My Hero Project
I just watched the live stream of Kayla’s film screening at the National Young Arts Foundation in Miami, and Gabrielle’s film screened shortly before hers. Watching it again made me question why this film touched me so personally. After all, Gabrielle’s film is about not loving herself as a dark-skinned black youth. She candidly discusses how she wanted to bleach her skin and lessen her large lips–how she wanted plastic surgery to look more…
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Be Good To Yourself
“Being good to myself allows me to be good to others. I can’t neglect myself and expect to be of service to anyone.”
I saw this quote on twitter a couple weeks ago and its sooo true. Always remember to be good to yourself so you can be a light to others. Sometimes you just have to be a little bit selfish and it’s nothing to feel guilty about. A little neglect ain’t never hurt nobody lol. If you neglect yourself however, you can never be there to help others. How you care for your own needs and tend to the perpetual refreshening of your own mind will determine if you have what it takes to spark a revolution in others. In the words of Maya Angelou, “be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt”. How can you love me if you don’t love yourself first? Growth is the key and love is always the drive.
Don’t be an Empty Cup
Well said. Excellent post Whitney.
Have you ever felt like you had absolutely nothing left to give of yourself, yet people still continued to pull you in every direction, demanding your attention?
Remember to take some time for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
🙂
You Don’t Have to Do What Everyone Else is Doing
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that your words flutter nervously across the page in anxious anticipation of acceptance. I can see the dilating pupil of uncertainty starring back at me, for you have let others define you. It’s not enough that you wear societies clothing, listen to its music, read its books and regurgitate its ignorance, but you even let it define who you are. When you do gather the courage to be yourself it is not long before you are already planning on how to take your words back, erase them into the dungeon of nothingness. Some of you climb inside of yourself and turn off the lights, over there praying for invisibility and trying not to be you. Why do you cloak yourself in darkness? Always skating timidly through life as if the next step will be the one to shatter the ground. Always apologetic for the way in which you see the world as if your purpose in life is one big mistake. If you have passion, stand by it. You owe no one an explanation. It doesn’t matter what we struggle with on a daily, it always helps when we are ourselves. Despite the mistakes we make being transparent is the only way to transcend and to overcome. In that process, remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. Besides, “if you don’t define yourself for yourself you’ll be crushed into other people’s fantasies of you and eaten alive.” – Andre Lorde
The PBS Blog 