What’s So Special About You?

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Lately, I’ve been asking myself, “What is the benefit of subscribing to your blog/email list?” The answer to this question loomed over me and really got me thinking. “Is there a benefit?” What is it that I’m offering that makes subscribing to my email list or blog such a big deal? What is it about it that will make readers feel, well, special?

I was happy to discover this article: 7 Emails You Should Send Your Subscribers (But Probably Don’t). While advice is always “take it or leave it”, Will makes some great points. For instance, in this post he explains the kind of content you should include in your email newsletter. One set of questions I zoomed in on that really convicted me and got me to thinking was this one:

What sets apart all those bloggers who can rapidly build an insanely engaged audience from those who have to beg and plead just to get a handful of shares?”

This question convicted me because I’ve been thinking a lot about the content of this blog. I noticed that often bloggers receive the same support over and over again. The same five or ten people who like and comment on every post. While this is most excellent, I became concerned about the direction of this blog and whether or not I was reaching you. While I don’t intend on reaching everyone, it became a deep concern that the people who were once interested in my blog no longer were. So I thought, could it be content? But my content has not changed. Will went further with his questioning:

What sets apart all those bloggers who can rapidly build an insanely engaged audience from those who have to beg and plead just to get a handful of shares? Is the answer really just “great content?” Content is important, but plenty of bloggers put just as much time, energy and care into their content as those in the top tier, only to experience 10% of the results.

Exactly! Someone finally said it. For the record, I’m not in the business of begging, but Will’s questions did trigger something and I’m excited it did. I have long wondered if content alone was the key to a successful blog (I use successful loosely sense it is so dependent on your own definition of success).  Now, as a blogger content is something we hear a lot. But, is blogging just about content? Or is there something else that is needed to keep an audience? Well, I kept reading:

So what do the big guys have that the little ones don’t? They have a relationship with their audience.

Ahhh. There it is. The relationship. Blogging is not just about content, it is also about the relationship! This is why I have also created an email Newsletter because its more personal. Like Will, even though I know the author is speaking to a large group, getting a personal email still makes me feel special as a subscriber. Even though my blog posts are sent directly to the emails of those who follow me (via email) an email list is still more personal and, contrary to popular belief, not old fashioned. A study by McKinsey revealed that, “E-mail remains a significantly more effective way to acquire customers than social media — nearly 40 times that of Facebook and Twitter combined.” But now I had more questions. This time about Newsletters:“Is there a huge benefit to subscribing to my email newsletter?” One thing that got my confidence up is a point Will made in this article. He said to be more personal in your email list. Instead of sending links of your recently blogged post, talk to us as if we are sitting at the computer/tablet/phone reading you. This got my confidence up because it is something I’ve always done. I never just list my accomplishments and upcoming events in my email newsletter. This can be boring. Readers can follow my updates just by being on my Social Media so again,“What makes subscribing to my newsletter so special?” If someone follows my blog and social networks, why should they also follow my email list? Some people include links to their recent blog posts in their email newsletters. I do not. It doesn’t make much sense to me. I don’t really get how that can be productive when I already have followers of my blog who get the latest post in their email. You mean I should also send them additional emails with links to my recent blog posts? Is that an email newsletter or just another blog? I didn’t know, but I kept reading because I’m not blog perfect and there is still so much I need to learn. As I read on, I discovered that Will makes another great point. An alternative to providing the link in your newsletter to your recent blog post:

…. too few bloggers consider the pros and cons of each approach before making a decision. They just send a link to their posts because that’s what everyone else seems to do.

This stood out to me. It stood out to me because according to my own personal experience as well as research on clicks in a post, people do not use them much. They may click on a link once but that’s pretty much it with only a few (and I do mean a few, like probably just three of your best friends) exceptions. This means that the chances of someone clicking on multiple  links in your newsletter or blog post to go to additional sites are slim. This is one of the reasons I don’t like posting links in my blog post of other sites without some explanation of what the link is about. I don’t want you to miss out on the info just because you didn’t feel like clicking the link. Like now, at least you have some insight into Will’s article even if you didn’t click on it! (It is however, important to know that while people may not be interested in clicking links, that doesn’t have anything to do with the success or failure of the post. That’s right, we don’t care. What readers care most about is ease of navigation. Though we may not want to click on, it won’t affect us coming around unless your blog is extremely difficult to navigate. In fact, readers are probably not even thinking about clicks until you said something. The 3-Click rule is outdated. Kind of. Yes people don’t want to click on lots of links, but the number doesn’t have anything to do with it. Today its about ease of convenience. You can have one or five links and most people won’t bother to click them period, which I discovered by measuring how many opens my emails get verses clicks on any links in the actual email. There are always more opens of the email than clicks on links in the email. Common sense thus told me its better to say everything in the body of the email instead of having people follow a link). Another point to remember about just including project updates and advertisements / announcements in your email newsletter is this:

Just think about how rare and uncommon it is to receive an email that asks nothing of you. Its sole purpose is to educate, inspire, and help you.

Isn’t that the type of mailing list you’ll tell others about? Isn’t it the kind of list that survives the occasional inbox purging when you get tired of all the emails you’re receiving? Isn’t it the kind of list whose owner you’ll tend to trust?

This is why I try to keep my advertisement to a minimum. As I’ve stated before, I do think too much promotion is something that exist because it lacks the balance of the other components that can make it work. I thought also about the email lists of others I am subscribed to and how much I really enjoy the ones that offer me guidance, such as author tips and article links, without always asking me to purchase or donate something. These are the kinds of email list and blogs I want to follow, the ones that inspire and inform in addition to whatever else is being offered. But still, there is so much Will spoke about that I would like to improve on in relation to my blog and email list and it all begins with the question: “What’s so special about you?”

Consequence of a Lonely Heart

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The thought arose midnight

somewhere between

the witching hours of deception

and the sparkling thighs

that rubbed away

what was left

of her common sense.

Ignoring the blanket stretch of solitude

reaching for the sweat

dripping from the threads of her hands

the thirst of her shadow

descending from the heavens like an angel

waiting for her to open herself up

so that the incarceration of her heart

can be weighed against the gold of her patience

she could not have been less wise

than to let deception

play its numbers on her skin

like melting pearls

sliding down the creases of a well-worn backbone

that she traded in for a brief moment

of Black Orchard or Issey Miyake cologne

though neither could wash away the shame

to which lust had gifted her thoughts

and the rose petals aligning the secret bath

to which she has mixed in her cup of distorted priorities

only smelled of death

in becoming another

she failed

to become herself

#Book #Review – Flirting With Disaster by Tracy Brown

Title: Flirting With Disaster
Author: Tracy Brown
Print Length: 104 pages
Publisher: St. Martin’s Griffin (November 5, 2013)
Publication Date: November 5, 2013
Sold by: Macmillan
Language: English
ASIN: B00DK41PHU

Tracy Brown is not a Self-Published Author but I am writing this review because I think the message in this read is so important. So let’s get into it:

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Flirting With Disaster is a novella about a young black woman named Chloe Webster and her relationship habits. Chloe and her family are not rich, but sisters Chloe and Willow have everything they need from their single mother Rachel Webster. Chloe is a young twenty year old pursuing a degree in Journalism at Hunter College and enjoying the freedom living at home is affording her. She does not have to pay bills or get a job and be held down by adult responsibilities. Chloe’s mother, Rachel, is a hard working bank clerk at Midtown Manhattan and can afford her daughters this luxury. Though the author does not reveal Rachel’s age, I imagine her as someone who had her daughters young but who is hip to the workings of the streets and works hard to give her daughters everything they need. Rachel doesn’t want them dating drug dealer boyfriends who shower them with designer clothes and expensive gifts. Rachel teaches her girls that just because they live in the hood does not mean they have to act like hood rats. For this reason, Rachel showers them herself. While watching their grades like a hawk, she gives them monthly shopping sprees and bi-weekly hair appointments. As a result, while Chloe is a beautiful young woman pursuing a career, she is also conceited and naive. Everything I am sure her mother strives hard to teach her not to be.

The story opens with Chloe leaving the St. George bus terminal and hurrying to catch The Staten Island Ferry to Lower Manhattan. Finally finding a seat and catching her breath she catches the eye of Trey, a handsome young man dressed just enticing enough for someone like Chloe to notice. Fresh black Nikes, blue jeans, and a Coogi polo shirt. Trey has that laid back, neatly groomed low hair cut, T.I. style that Chloe likes. After all, what a man has on his feet is all too important to her. After exchanging some flattering words, Chloe decides to let Trey wine, dine, and spend on her. Without giving up the goodies, Chloe keeps Jason on the side for her physical needs while Trey showers her with everything she thinks is worthy of a man: expensive gifts, dinners and everything else physically attractive to a twenty-year old who is used to getting what she wants. But all that glitters ain’t gold and all that looks good is far from it.

Trey has lots of secrets and housed between his good looks and expensive gifts is a very troubled man. In fact, Trey noticed Chloe because of something much more disturbing than her good looks. Growing up in a troubled home, Chloe reminds Trey of his mother who walked out on him years ago and left him with his abusive father. Distracted by the physical attractions of what makes for a good man, Chloe is blinded to other attributes that should come into question. What is Trey’s last name? What’s Trey’s family like? What kind of people has he dated in the past and why have those relationships ended? Where is his family? Where do they live? What kind of people are they? These are questions women should ask themselves when dating any man. These are also questions Chloe does not have the answers to. Warned by both her mother and sister that something is not right about this man, Chloe ignores their concerns and continues to spend Trey’s money and play with his mind. Chloe is having fun flirting with disaster. She will learn the hard way that there is much more to a man than his shoe size, his wallet, and his physical appearance.

One of the criticisms of this book is that it was too short. I do not think so. In fact, I think it was just as long as it needed to be. The message does not, in my opinion, require lots of Chapters to get across and is not difficult to understand. Lots of young people look for and are attracted to men like Trey. They are sucked in by the name brand designer clothing, the job that pays well, and the expensive gifts. But it is not just young people, it is society itself. We teach our daughters that a man with no money is not worth their time. We also encourage our daughters to be with men who could financially provide for them and to ignore everything else. Forget that he must be mentally stable, genuinely kind, and spiritually insightful. Forget that he must be loving and compassionate. While a man has a responsibility to provide for his family, there is also so much more that men provide. They provide protection, spiritual guidance, and discipline for our children just to name a few.

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I think all young people should read this book. The lesson is priceless. Find Flirting With Disaster on Amazon.

Love Poem

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Wanted to jump into memory
and photograph pieces
of your smile
the only cracks worth seeing
on someone’s face
Didn’t know dimples ran deeper than wells
but every time you chuckled
my nerves melted underneath my skin
Is this
Is it real?
Could the pull of the wind
be the yearning for your laughter?
That always fell like diamonds at the base of my feet
Could someone tell me how a poor woman
becomes rich again?
For I knelt before history
and shackled your existence to my future
and when you laughed
The moon was missing that night
cuz I held it in your gaze
And the sun dripped hot from the gaps in my fingers
Cupped your chin gently against my palms
And when we kissed
Heaven cracked open its skies
and thunder praised our union

Writer’s Quote Wednesday – Once in Your Life

Welcome back everyone, to another Writer’s Quote Wednesday segment, as hosted by Colleen of Silver Threading. Now, you may have noticed when you peeked at your reader that there’s a very handsome man to stop by the blog. Well, yesterday this fine young man was blessed to see another year. His name is Moshe and he is my husband. For this Writer’s Quote Wednesday, I present this beautiful quote by Bob Marley in dedication to the love of my life. Marley summed it up so perfectly, as if having met us in the distant past and scribbled our heart into paper. I dedicate this entry to my “love bug” (with his Bob Marley looking hat on yall LOL):

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EC’s Husband, Moshe Ysrayl.

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

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That’s it for me this week. The quote was too long for the picture, but thanks to Colleen the wrap ups now just feature the links to the blogs instead of the photo with the quote. This means mine is not going to look awkward with all that wording during next weeks wrap-up …yayy (lol).

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Learn to Listen

Even a deaf man can learn to listen. Though we hear with our ears understanding comes from the heart and from the mind. So many problems in the world and in our own individual lives could be solved just by listening. It is not so much that the most intelligent of the world are any smarter than the least educated. The difference is just by way of how one listens over the other. If I tell a child to wash the dishes I do not need that child to respond that there are only few dishes in the sink. This is an example of poor listening skills. I did not ask the child if the sink was half empty or if it was half full, I asked the child to wash the dishes that were there. It seems simple enough, but this cycle is repeated throughout our lives in so many ways and we are often like this child. Learn to listen, not with the intent to reply but with the intent to understand. You see I cannot give you a proper response on a good meal until after I have digested it. I have to take the food in first, taste it, swallow it and then digest it. Now, in these stages I have choices. I can talk with my mouth full so that you do not understand what I speak. I can taste the food and declare it right even though I have not swallowed it. And I can assume it has a healthy effect on my body though my body has not yet digested it. Too often we do this with information in our lives. We reply to situations or to people even though we have not fully digested the information. The funny thing is that most people you talk to are never really listening to what you’re saying because they already have a response waiting on the tongue. They are just waiting for you to stop talking. They do not listen. They do not hear. You have to understand, as you navigate your life, that you cannot have a healthy relationship with people who do not listen. It won’t work. Some of you are in relationships with people and its not working. The reason its not working is because your in relationships with people who do not listen. For many of us the result is that we learn to do likewise. We do not stop to hear what is heard. We do not stop to listen.