Reblogging in support of Chris Graham for his unwavering support of Indie Authors! Y’all know he’ll reblog you in a minute! So show him the same. Happy Anniversary Mr. Ape!
Chris Grahamis much admired, respected, and appreciated in the blogging world. His indefatigable support of authors and bloggers is rivaled by few others.The Story Reading Ape‘s 4th blog anniversary is April 4th, and I can think of no better way to show my appreciation than by featuring him on my blog. Here’s to you, Mr. Ape! May you live long and prosper. I’m also putting energy out there for you to win the lottery 😊
Today, I am very pleased to sit down with prolific author and blogger Yecheilyah Ysrayl. Her blog is one that I look forward to reading every day because of its positive and inspirational message. She is going to tell us about her work, her inspiration and a bit about herself in this special edition of […]
First, I’d like to thank you for this opportunity. My name is Yecheilyah Ysrayl (Yecheilyah pronounced e-see-lee-yah) but most people just call me EC, and I started writing when I was twelve years old.
What motivates you to write?
Reading is actually a big motivation for me to write and always have been. There’s something about looking at how others have written that makes me want to write too. But, more deeply, life in general is a big motivation for me as well; my experiences, good and bad, my journeys, my revelations, and my sorrows. I think these emotions and testimonies of ours on an individual level, is a very powerful tool to be used to create that bridge of commonality with the rest of mankind. Those things we encounter in our everyday lives as we journey…
As I scrolled through my Facebook feed a few weeks ago, I came across a status update that was upsetting, though sadly not surprising: “That awkward moment when your decision to wear your hair natural comes up in an interview… and not in a complimentary way…”
My friend Sonia had interviewed for a position as a Social Media Specialist for a marketing startup in New York City. The interview took place in the common area of WeWork, a coworking office space where the startup had put down temporary roots. As distracting commotion took place around them, she and the rather cold interviewer had the following exchange.
Interviewer: “Is that how your hair is in your LinkedIn picture?”
Sonia: “…Yea.”
Interviewer: “Not straight?”
Sonia: “Nope.”
Interviewer: “Oh… Interesting…”
He then made qualifying statements, such as, “So you say you’re good at SEO,” and “You claim to be a good writer.” I…
Since this is the final interview I will skip through the semantics and get straight to the point.
The Interracial Blog Feature was inspired by my new book, “Beyond The Colored Line”, and was created as a means to foster a better understanding of diverse relationships. Not just between whites and blacks but between all diverse relationships.
Today, we welcome a special guest in as our final interviewee. I didn’t know initially that both he and his wife wanted to be interviewed and being I did have an extra spot left you can imagine my excitement. Help me to welcome Andre Wells, husband to Allison Wells from last weeks segment, to the blogosphere.
EC: Well hello there Mr. Wells. As our first and only male guest I appreciate your boldness in letting me interview you! I was starting to think this was a woman thing LOL. So, you know the routine, can you give the racial background of you and your wife for the record and how long you’ve been together?
AW: Hello EC. My name is Andre Wells and I am African American and my wife is Hispanic and Caucasian. We’ve been together for about 12 years, Married almost 10.
EC: Excellent. Now, the character in my book, Stella May, is what the people of her era deem a mulatto, that is, she is of mixed ancestry. You have children who are biracial. What advice would you give to fathers of mixed children on how to deal with the stigmas that are often placed to them?
AW: Be honest with your children about who they are and the struggles they may have to face. Teach them how to respond to stigmas and challenges.
EC: I like that, “teach them how to respond to stigmas and challenges”. Speaking of challenges, what are some challenges that interracial couples deal with that couples of the same race may not have to deal with?
AW: Some people think I am over dominant over my wife or feel the woman must be the head of house because the black man must not be that responsible.
EC: Interesting. There is a big controversy within the black community concerning role reversal or the topic of submission and authority in general.
Mr. Wells, when African-Americans and Whites marry, there is more likely to be an African-American husband and a white wife. In fact, 73 percent of all African-American and White marriages have this setup. In your personal opinion, since you would know more than any of our guests! As a black man, and your experience with Interracial Relationships, what do you think attracts other ethnicities to black men?
AW: Black men are unique. Unique in our looks; unique in the way we carry ourselves; even the way we raise our families. In most cases white women want black men but don’t want the stigmas that come along with it.
EC: Wow. Speaking of black men, I hear a lot of black people, women in particular, accusing other blacks of being “sell outs” when they date outside their race. Have you or your wife ever had the misfortune of the title and why do you think this is?
AW: I’ve heard that term in reference to relationships such as mine. I think it stems from feeling betrayed, jealousy, misunderstanding and some just down right racism.
EC: Speaking of opinions, a lot of people discern that blacks who speak with a professional tongue are trying to sound white. I speak from experience. My husband is not white but he’s very educated and he grew up in a diverse city as well where the majority of people in the town were white. Of the blacks present, he was teased by them a lot for his speech. They said that he sounded, “White”. As a man married to a “bi-racial” woman, what are your thoughts on this?
AW: Black men / women who have to live in a world where success is often based on one’s professionalism and ability to communicate properly, some may face scrutiny when trying to present themselves as respectable individuals in society.
EC: Mr. Wells I am enjoying this interview I must say. Now, speaking of speech, I’ve always wondered about the conversations between interracial couples concerning the ongoing racial tensions surrounding blacks and whites. Are there any moments when you and your wife disagree with a subject that is race related? If so, how do you deal with that?
AW: For the most part we understand and agree concerning each others racial differences. We look to the bible to help us have knowledge of who we are and that generally relieves any confusion we may have.
EC: Speak brother speak! Hope I’m not offending anyone out there, yall know I’m silly hee hee. So loving this interview right now yaass LOL. Were almost done though. Any time before 1967 your relationship would technically be illegal. How does that make you feel today with the knowledge that you’ve chosen to be with someone outside of your race?
AW: I didn’t have knowledge of who I was when I met Allison. But even so, I didn’t even begin to discriminate or allow race to determine who or how I love someone. To me, those days demonstrated racism and racism restricts people from fulfilled lives.
EC: Indeed. Andre, I want to thank you again for being part of this series, it has truly been a pleasure. If there is one form of advice you would give to people still struggling to accept Interracial Relationships, what would it be?
AW: Know that not every “interracial relationship” is joined together because they deny their own or even prefer another race. Some are actually together; love enjoins them and friendship maintains them.
EC: Can I ask you that same question again? I need you to repeat your answer for the record lol. No, seriously, in closing, as someone who has been married for some time, name one thing that has kept your relationship going.
AW: A relationship together in spirit and in truth.
EC: Thank you Mr. Wells, it has truly been a pleasure.
AW: Anytime.
***
It is unusual for me not to put much thought into scheduling Mr. Well’s interview last, simply because I tend to plan everything (well, mostly everything). From the dates I choose to release my books to a subject as complex as this one, nothing I ever do hardly come without reason or significance. That said however, I didn’t put much thought into scheduling Mr. Wells interview last. But as I reflect on his answers, I am thankful for how this series has ended. His answers, in my opinion, summed everything up very nicely. I love how he brought in the bible and spoke concerning identity. What people must understand is that when I bring up these kinds of topics it is not about white or black. I am not trying to unite a color of people. It is not, then, about blacks or whites; it is about identity and nationhood.
It’s been a long ride for our people here in the America’s; from slavery, to Jim Crow, to racism, imprisonment, police brutality, the list goes on. Black people are the only group of people whose nationality changes with the census. They are the only people who cannot trace their lineage back to their natural heritage. If there is any people on the face of the earth more discriminated against than they, more despised and more afflicted then they please, inform me. They are such; the African American is, because their problem is not physical. Being deeper than racism itself, their problem is spiritual. If African Americans can begin to search deeper into the question of “Who am I and what is my purpose?” Then race and the concept of black and white in general will eventually fade. As I have stated on this blog plenty of times and as I will continue to state, I use black and white as terms for understanding, but I do not consider it my nationality. Black is, after all, a color but it does not define nationhood.
I want to thank everyone so much who has taken the time to support this series, either as interviewees or as interactions. I know it touched someone somewhere and for that I am thankful.
As a token of my appreciation for those who have opted to share a piece of themselves with us, I have a special gift.
Over the course of my writing career I have published a number of books and I have carefully chosen a few of them (the ones I think are the best lol) and placed them here. I want you (Interviewees) to each choose which book you would like to have and I will mail it to you at no cost. I am a hard-copy type person so your book will be a hard-copy. It is my way of saying thank you. Choose any one of these you like and email me your mailing address (Please visit the website to see what each book is about. I don’t want to list it here to preserve space on an already lengthy post. Just click on each book as if you were buying it and it shows what each is about):
Stella Book #2
Stella Book #1
Pearls Before Swine Vol #1 (a play)
From Girlhood to Womanhood (poetry)
In Case You Missed It:
The Interracial Blog Feature – Interviews Beyond The Colored Line:
It’s kind of hard to believe this today, but as recent as 1967, there was actually state laws that banned interracial marriage. These laws weren’t overturned until the Supreme Court case, Loving vs. Virginia in 1967. In that case, the Supreme Court found that it was unconstitutional for the state of Virginia to ban interracial marriage.
Although there are no longer any laws banning relationships, interracial dating remains a controversial subject for some people. The Interracial Blog Feature was inspired by my new book, “Beyond The Colored Line”, and was created as a means to foster a better understanding of diverse relationships. Today, we welcome a good friend of mine, Misty Thomas. Misty is the director of a privately owned Montessori School in Houston Texas for children ages 6 – 12 years.
EC: Thank you Misty for spending time with us today. Can you give the racial background of you and your husband for the record and how long you’ve been together?
MT: Hello Yecheilyah. Thanks for inviting me to your blog. I am of mixed nationalities, but I guess most people would call me white. My husband is mixed, his mother is black and his father is black, Mexican, and native Indian.
Photo Credit: Misty and LeYah. Used with permission.
EC: Wow, I love it. Now, the character in my book, Stella May, is what the people of her era deem a “mulatto” that is, she is of mixed ancestry. You have children who are biracial. What advice would you give to mothers of mixed children on how to deal with the stigmas that are often placed to them?
MT: My advice for that question would be to just raise your children as you would if they weren’t of mixed races. I have not yet come into contact with any issues with my children being mixed and anyone giving us any troubles or acting racist.
EC: I love that. Speaking of racism, what are some challenges that interracial couples deal with that couples of the same race may not have to deal with?
MT: This one we have definitely dealt with from people in passing and within our own families when we first started dating. Most of the time if people should look at us in any hateful way it comes from us either being at a place where there is mostly African American people or somewhere where there are mostly white people. People sometimes make faces or just stare and you can feel what they must be thinking. It doesn’t bother us though. With our families in the beginning…I think it was them worrying what others would think.
EC: That is interesting that you say that the looks usually come from an exclusive black group or white group, makes me think about the racial divide still present in America. Now, from observation, when African-Americans and Whites marry, there is more likely to be an African-American husband and a white wife. In fact, 73 percent of all Black and White marriages have this setup. In your opinion and your experience with Interracial Relationships as a white woman, what attracts you to black men?
MT: I do see this is more common that you see white women with African American men. Me personally…I don’t think I have only been attracted to African American men for any particular reason and I have been one to date men of all races. I grew up in a diverse city.
EC: I’m glad you put that out there. Speaking of diversity, I have to bring up this point. I hear a lot of black people, black women in particular, accusing other blacks of being “sell outs” when they date outside their race. Have you or your husband ever had the misfortune of the title and why do you think this is?
MT: I have only had one person or woman hate on me for being with “their” men. We have never had anyone call my husband a sell out or speak out against us being together though anywhere else.
Photo Credit: Chris, Misty, and LeYah. Used with permission.
EC: Shame on that one person, smh. Now, a lot of people discern that blacks who speak with a professional tongue are trying to sound white. I speak from experience. My husband is not white but he’s very educated and he too grew up in a diverse city where the majority of people in the town were white. Of the blacks present, he was teased by them a lot for his speech. They said that he sounded, “White”. As a white woman, what are your thoughts on this? Is there such a thing?
MT: I think that is ridiculous and people just stereo type black people. My husband and everyone in his family are well spoken. There are plenty of people of all colors of skin that speak improper.
EC: I’ve always wondered about the conversations between interracial couples concerning the ongoing racial tensions surrounding blacks and whites. Are there any moments where you and your husband disagree with a subject that is race related? If so, how do you deal with that?
MT: Lol, actually we have never had any disagreements in any racial conversations. We know that racism was created by man and we don’t see each other as being different.
EC: Whew, you said something there, “we know that racism was created by men”. Can I quote you on that? LOL. Seriously, that is such a great point. Now, we’re almost done here. Any time before 1967 your relationship would technically be illegal. How does that make you feel today with the knowledge that you’ve chosen to be with someone outside of your race?
MT: Doesn’t surprise me, I have never been one to care what others think or one to follow. I might be one that some would of called a rebel….lol. I don’t like the hatred from the past history, but it is what it is.
EC: Misty, I want to thank you again for being part of this series. If there is one form of advice you would give to people still struggling to accept Interracial Relationships, what would it be?
MT: Your welcome, any time. One thing I would like to share with people who struggle with interracial relationships is that I feel it is a form of being colorblind. You could be blocking yourself of growth as a person for being blinded by color.
EC: Wow, blocking your own growth, that’s deep. As someone who has been married for some time, name one thing that has kept your relationship going.
Photo Credit: Misty and the whole family! Misty, Chris, LeYah Gianni, and Moshe. Used with permission.
MT: Love.
***************************
(These shades tho)
And that’s Misty Thomas on Interracial Marriages, thanks Misty! As you can see, the purpose of this series is to shed light on some of the racial biases that still exist here in America. It is easy to become offended at such topics and say that “a relationship is a relationship” and while this is true, it doesn’t change the fact that these biases still exist. That said, mankind was created to be compatible with one another regardless of race. Thank you Misty for helping me to shed light on that reality. Your interview was insightful, educational and I sure did learn a lot.
In the meantime, tune into next weeks segment on Beyond The Colored Line: Interracial Blog Feature. You don’t want to miss next weeks interview!
“A writer – and, I believe, generally all persons – must think that whatever happens to him or her is a resource. All things have been given to us for a purpose, and an artist must feel this more intensely. All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments, all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art.”
― Jorge Luis Borges, Twenty-Four Conversations with Borges: Interviews by Roberto Alifano 1981-1983
Chris Grahamis much admired, respected, and appreciated in the blogging world. His indefatigable support of authors and bloggers is rivaled by few others.The Story Reading Ape‘s 4th blog anniversary is April 4th, and I can think of no better way to show my appreciation than by featuring him on my blog. Here’s to you, Mr. Ape! May you live long and prosper. I’m also putting energy out there for you to win the lottery 😊
The PBS Blog 