Tag: #Book #Review

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Dr. Thomas Jordan, Ph.D

Title: Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life

Author: Dr. Thomas Jordan, Ph.D

Print Length: 132 pages

Publisher: Book Baby

Publication Date: December 16, 2019

Clinical psychologist Dr. Thomas Jordan Ph.D. offers various suggestions for how couples might enhance their romantic relationships in his book Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life. He demonstrates how those earlier love experiences have impacted our current perception of relationships going all the way back to conception using a psychological blueprint.

He uses his personal life experience to show how what we learn in our family shapes our experience of interpersonal reality when we become adults. (Jordan, 92) Dr. Jordan challenges readers to identify what they’ve learned, question what they’ve learned, and then try something new. As you can tell, Dr. Thomas’ explanations are easy-to-understand, and his examples are clear and concise.

One of his most important points is about learned beliefs, behavior, and feelings. Jordan asserts, for example, that if what we’ve learned about love was unhealthy growing up, we will unknowingly, somewhat subconsciously, repeat what was unhealthy in our adult relationships. The key here is what you believe about love relationships will shape your experience.

Suppose someone taught you to think relationships are dishonest because you experienced dishonesty growing up. If you are unaware of this learned belief and have not made changes, chances are your current relationships will recreate dishonesty and generate a feeling that someone is deceptive.

This same thing can apply if you’ve felt abandonment (loss), exploitation (used), abuse (fearful), mistrust (suspicious), controlled (trapped), neglect (deprived), dependency (needy), and rejection (rejected). According to Dr. Jordan, these are among the unhealthy traits we learn and unconsciously recreate in our love relationships if we have not healed from them. Another critical detail Dr. Jordan makes is how we become defensive to avoid vulnerability.

The vulnerability allows people to get to know us better because we have let them in. People shy away from opening up in this way because we cannot be vulnerable without risking unintentional hurt occasionally. What is meant by “unintentional?” There will inevitably be differences between you and the person you are in a relationship with, disagreements, different perspectives, and opinions. These differences are inevitable. There is no escaping it. According to Dr. Thomas, one cannot be in love without feeling unintentional hurt based on differences.

So then, why is “falling in love” worth it? Dr. Thomas has an interesting answer: Because we all have a natural ability to heal. The risk of falling in love is more tolerable and less stressful when we believe in our innate ability to heal. “If hurt leads to loss, we can grieve, heal our hearts, and move on.” (Jordan, 55)

We can avoid pain altogether by not opening up, but being defensive in relationships interferes with our ability to give and receive love. Dr. Thomas notes that love as an emotion is unpredictable and uncontrollable; hence, we “fall in love,” the connotation is that we have lost control. Because of losing control, we risk getting hurt. We avoid this hurt in attempting to achieve a love relationship without being vulnerable, which is not possible.

“Vulnerability is the emotional experience that shows you are open to giving and receiving love.” – Dr. Thomas Jordan

This understanding took me back to the 80/20 rule. It is a lot to expect to receive 100% good from one person because we all have trauma and baggage from our life experiences that we carry with us. Even in an emotionally healthy and stable individual, you might only get 80% of attractive traits.

Can you live with that person’s twenty percent? Or is this person’s twenty percent unbearable/intolerable? What can you realistically tolerate in a love relationship based on your conscious awareness of your own flaws and strengths, combined with your partner’s weaknesses and strengths? What flaws can you live with (accept)?

Anyone, single or married, disappointing love life or not, can learn how to heal by learning to love themselves, starting with being consciously aware of toxic patterns.

Strong Introduction: 4/5
Authenticity / Believable: 5/5
Organization: 5/5
Thought Provoking: 5/5
Solid Conclusion: 5/5
Overall: 5/5

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is available now on Amazon!

To learn more about my registry be sure to visit the Blog Book Review Policy page here.

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – Loyal Son by Wayne Diehl

Title: Loyal Son
Author: Wayne Diehl
Print Length: 439 pages
Publisher: Wayne Diehl
Publication Date: April 13, 2020

Thomas Ryan sends his youngest son Patrick and his sister Ellen to America to acquire land for the family after realizing he won’t be able to salvage the family’s land in Newtownshandrum, County Cork, Ireland. It’s not an easy trip to America. Through the characters, I really loved being able to understand what that was like for many immigrants, from drinking water that was contaminated from being stored in old, rotten containers to rashes and fever.

After arriving in New York City, Patrick and his sister encounter trouble and are bullied by boys who force them to stay the night with a widow from Dublin named Mrs. Fitzsimmons. The next day, they meet their Uncle John and Aunt Mary, who they will live with as Patrick tries to find work to make money to buy land, and so starts the journey.

From the bible wars of the Catholic vs. Protestants, the Texas Annexation Treaty, the Election of James Polk, and the National Debate on Slavery, there is a lot of good history in the backdrop of Patrick’s journey. Through the eyes of a young Irish boy and his cousins, we see the racism and discrimination against the Irish people, who are stereotyped as “alcohol-soaked animals, corrupt papists, and sexual deviants.”

The author does an exemplary job of foreshadowing Patrick’s eventual enlistment in the army. When religious riots explode, it forces the family to defend their position, ultimately leading to the burning down of Uncle John and Aunt Mary’s home, along with the savings Patrick would use to buy land.

Even though the story is from a young Irish boy’s perspective, I liked how historically accurate it was for African Americans at the time. Slavery was so established in American culture that it pervaded every aspect of daily life. The author shows this in his descriptions of the enslaved Blacks and their interactions with those around them.

“At daybreak, James walked down the porch to the barefoot, teenaged slave holding his horse.”

“A stout, unsmiling negress in a faded calico dress and a white kerchief wrapped around her head met them on the steps of the expansive portico. James handed her his hat, riding gloves, and overnight bag.”

“Jackson noticed his protégé approach and rose slowly from his chair. The small black boy attending him tried to help but the General snarled at him and he backed away.”

This book is action-packed all the way through, historically accurate, and because Patrick and his cousins are young men, it maintains the right balance by being just as fun as it is about war and racism. The boys are young, like girls, and get into fights and trouble with the law.

Loyal Son is not a short book, but if you enjoy history and have some time on your hands, you will love it.

Plot Movement / Strength: 4/5
Entertainment Factor: 4/5
Characterization: 4/5
Authenticity / Believable: 5/5
Thought Provoking: 5/5
Overall: 4/5

Loyal Son is available now on Amazon!

To learn more about my registry be sure to visit the Blog Book Review Policy page here.

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – Catch The Moon, Mary by Wendy Waters

Title: Catch the Moon, Mary
Author: Wendy Waters
Print Length: 258 pages
Publisher: Wendy Waters
Publication Date: October 16, 2019

Mary Granger is a gifted musician who sees visions of music and moves her hands to the tune of the song she hears in her head, like playing an invisible piano. The children call her “Mad Mary” because she doesn’t understand their jokes. She is nervous, and her mannerisms read like someone with autism or some other disorder. But Mary’s music is extraordinary and came as a way of dealing with the trauma of sexual abuse from her father, James.

Then, there’s the archangel Gabriel, who has been on Earth for a thousand years and is depressed about whether he will ever return to his glorious state. He returns to heaven to find it in chaos. His father (God) and his brother Rigel are gone. The angels have adopted a “do what thy will” attitude. Gabriel is searching for a saint who can help him enlighten the world.

Mary and Gabriel meet when the angel is swept away by Mary’s music, which draws her to him like a magnet. Mary is a child, about eleven years old, and Gabriel wants her to sell him her music. The child, Mary, can’t sell the music because it takes her away from James’ abuse. Witnessing the act, the angel causes significant pain in the man’s stomach and makes a pact with Mary that he will own the rights to her music in exchange for protection.

He believes Mary’s music is the key to restoring his light and promises her fame and fortune in exchange.

However, when Mary is an adult and works as a paralegal, still bound by the contract, Gabriel doesn’t seem to be as kind as he was when she was little. He kills, and people close Mary start to die.

This book has a lot to unpack, including the biblical connection between Mary and Gabriel, the angel that came to tell Mariam she was pregnant with the Messiah. And because I believe there are fallen angels who many celebrities worship for fortune and fame, becoming miniature versions of gods on Earth, i.e., stars, I enjoyed the realistic premise of this book. However, the plot in Catch the Moon, Mary is not predictable and gets more profound as the story unfolds.

Catch the Moon, Mary is gracefully written. I was immediately caught up in the poetic writing style of this author. From the first sentence, I was pulled into brilliant prose and description that made reading easy. I felt part of Mary’s world because the writing was like feeling the music, not just reading it. As a poet, I love this. The entire book is written with this kind of artistic expression. The author is unique in her descriptions so that not one sentence is ordinary. Waters does not just tell us the sun is rising, but that “suddenly, the sky was rimmed with yellow flame as dawn cracked over the horizon like an egg.” She does not just tell us Mary’s music is good, but that “her music pulsating like breath.”

I was not a fan of the musical notes used instead of Chapter Headings, but it makes sense, given the author’s writing style. As I said, this author is no ordinary writer and the cover really doesn’t do it justice!

Plot Movement / Strength: 5/5
Entertainment Factor: 4/5
Characterization: 5/5
Authenticity / Believable: 4/5
Thought Provoking: 5/5
Overall: 5/5

Catch the Moon, Mary is available now on Amazon

My book review registry is CLOSED. To learn more about my registry be sure to visit the Blog Book Review Policy page here.

Book Review – Even Salt Looks Like Sugar

Thanks Lisa!

Lisa W Tetting's avatarLisa W. Tetting

Hi Lovies,

My sister friend, Yecheilyah Ysrayl has a new book out and it is a good read. The book is available on Amazon so be sure to checking out. I have it 4 stars!


Don’t trust everything you see. Even Salt Looks Like Sugar is a poignant tale of a 16 year old girl named Wanda who was abandoned by her parents and taken in by a neighbor. The story takes place in a rural Louisiana town where everybody knows you and your business.

The “kindly” neighbor, Miss Cassaundra, had a habit of taking in children who had been abandoned. She would feed and clothe them, but also made them feel trapped. She received money from the government to care for the kids, but she didn’t show they live and affection. In fact, they lived in a brothel, run by Cassaundra, a woman who rarely got off of her…

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Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – Affliction, Dottie Daniels

Title:  Affliction

Author: Dottie Daniels

Print Length: 300 pages

Publisher: Three Things Publishing Company (January 29, 2017)

Publication Date: January 29, 2017

Language: English

ASIN: B01N9X5UOO

Affliction surrounds twenty-six-year-old Seanna Burges, a paramedic who wakes up during a Zombie invasion. In a scene similar to your favorite zombie movie, people are trying to escape their now mindless, infected neighbors. Seanna’s partner Rodney “Ronnie” Bowen arrives to explain to her what’s going on and the danger of going outside. Seanna isn’t trying to hear it. The phone lines are down, and she has not heard from her boyfriend, Graham. After going back and forth, the two eventually leave the apartment and fight off zombies on their way to Seanna’s car in true Walking Dead fashion.

I was excited to read this book. The fantastic cover and professional production had me digging in. I enjoyed the beginning of this novel. It took off in true zombie fashion: right in the middle of the action. I like the way the author infuses her medical experience into the narrative. The main character being a paramedic makes it believable, and all the medic parts are on point and make sense. My heart also sank for the elderly woman Ruthie who is 83 and has been bitten by a zombie.

Affliction is an enjoyable read and recommended for fans of horror and books with apocalyptic themes.

Plot Movement / Strength 3/5

Entertainment Factor: 3/5

Characterization: 4/5

Authenticity / Believable: 3/5

Thought Provoking: 4/5

Overall: 3/5

Affliction is available now on Amazon

Follow this Author Online!

FB: https://www.facebook.com/authorddaniels/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/AuthorDottie

WordPress:  https://dottiedaniels.wordpress.com/

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – Coed by James Fant

Title:  Coed

Author: James Fant

Print Length: 188 pages

Publisher: James Fant Books, LLC

Publication Date: February 14, 2017

Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC

Language: English

ASIN: B01N9SH36I

Coed is a romantic comedy about a man and woman who invests in a barber-beauty shop business called Coed. In a scene reminiscent of the movie Barber Shop, men cut hair on one side, and the women do hair on the other. Owners Travis “Trap” Barber and Sade Styles are best friends whose friendship is tested when Sade’s lease is up, and she moves in with Travis. Being “besties” is one thing but can Trap, and Sade maintains a platonic relationship while living under the same roof? The novel seeks to answer this question hilariously.

When Sade moves in with Trap, they fight to control their feelings for one another, like Sidney and Dre from the movie Brown Sugar. They are attracted to each other on multiple levels, but Sade has a man, and Trap’s a playboy. Eventually, Sade breaks it off with her boyfriend, and Trap insists on attending Myrtle Beach with her to see Lalah Hathaway. He doesn’t know how deeply the trip would impact them both.

I stayed up late just to see what would happen. If you’re a fan of Brown Sugar, Barbershop, and The Best Man, you’ll want to read this book.

I recommend it for lovers of romance, comedy and drama. It has it all.

Plot Movement / Strength: 4/5

Entertainment Factor: 5/5

Characterization: 5/5

Authenticity / Believable: 4/5

Thought Provoking: 5/5

Overall: 5/5

COED is available now on Amazon

Be Sure to Follow this Author Online!

Website: http://www.jamesfantbooks.com/

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – Even Rain is Just Water: A Memoir of Rejection, Revelation & Redemption by Lynette Davis

Title: Even Rain is Just Water: A Memoir of Rejection, Revelation & Redemption

Author: Lynette Davis

Print Length: 296 pages

Publisher: Reflections Books; 1 edition (May 30, 2017)

Publication Date: May 30, 2017

Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC

Language: English

ASIN: B071DC83TN

*I received this book as a gift from the author*

When I first read the title of this book, I knew that I would read it. With a powerful statement, as Even Rain is Just Water it had to be good. I was not disappointed. Lynette Davis gives us a riveting account of her life as the victim of emotional abuse at the hands of someone who is to be a girl’s first teacher, supporter, and motivator. Her mother.

The testimony switches back and forth between Lyn’s experiences as a child and as an adult, both of which include some form of emotional abuse and neglect. Lyn’s mom treats her sister Vanessa better than she treats her and at just three years old Lynette concludes that she is unwanted and unloved. One of the most heartbreaking moments for me was when Lyn and Ne-Ne were at her mother’s friend’s house eating some good food and Lyn approaches mom to ask for more potato salad. The way in which she asked was filled with such innocence that it made my heart melt. As someone who has worked extensively with children, I can just hear the tiny voice ask, “Can I have some more ‘tater salad, please?” To my astonishment, Lyn was chastised for saying ‘tater salad instead of potato salad.

There were many of such incidents as this one that made Lyn bow her head in shame. Ella’s sisters also seemed to give her the same treatment, like Aunt Cleo using Lyn and Ne-Ne as if they were her personal servants, promising to take them shopping only to have them washing her dishes. I wanted to jump through the book and tell her about herself. That was bogish all the way around.

When we got to Lyn’s adult life and her marriage to Ray, things did not look much better. Ray seemed to check out and Ella treated her grandchildren with the same level of disdain as she did their mother. Despite all this, Lynette does not lash out or rebel the way we may think. Lyn is kind, compassionate, and takes the abuse with a strength that not many people in this world understand or that many people could appreciate. It takes strength and courage continue on to be a kind-hearted person in a cruel world.

What I absolutely loved was how Lynette gave us a glimpse of the time by the many historical events that happened and what she was doing when it happened. Everything from the death of MLK, the Rodney King beating and even the shooting and eventual death of Tupac. As Lynette lived her life, all these things were happening around her and we get to witness them in real time. She even did this with the music. The New Millennium craze was funny when her friend said, “They didn’t believe Noah either.” I remember that time and how hyped everyone was that the world was coming to an end. These kinds of historical events infused into the narrative as well as the music of the time, for me, provided the story with light and was refreshing amidst the suffering.

Overall Rating: 4/5

Even Rain is Just Water is Available Now on Amazon

Be Sure to Follow Lynette Online. Also, you can learn more about her in our interview HERE.

Twitter: wewalkbyfaith88
Facebook: facebook.com/LynetteYDavis
Blog: lynettedavisauthor.blog