The 32nd Year: A Reflection

I am in the 32nd year of my life journey even though the gray in the front of my locs won’t let me be great. I just had a birthday (5/26) and I am usually quiet around this time. (And yes, I do admit this is my pitiful way of explaining why *aside from author Interviews* I have not been very active on this blog). But while I have not spoken much about it or posted many pictures, I enjoyed myself and I cannot say enough how much I appreciate the outpouring of love from social media.

Like I would expect anyone to be, I am always excited about my birthday and pretty much think about it up until the day passes, though I am also usually quiet around this time because I also approach birthdays from a reflective point of view. I don’t celebrate holidays, but I do honor, acknowledge, and value birthdays. It’s not something I take for granted or shrug off as a non-important since this is the day when the power of all powers decided I was worthy of entering the world. Stitching me together in my mother’s womb and commanding it to hold me there until it was time to give birth.

Another birthday means another year has passed. I am quiet because I look back on the past year to see how I’ve grown and to be grateful for who I am, where I am and whose I am. I review my goals and the action steps needed to accomplish them. Am I moving or standing still? And if I am moving and if I am standing still is this reality or perception? I know that there is no greater deception than self-deception so it’s important to me to honestly and realistically reflect on my life, my progress, and my purpose since I do not intend to bring last year’s baggage into this new age. It’s important to me to see the good in the finished and the unfinished work. To be grateful for where I am and celebrate on the way to where I am going. Have I wasted a year, or have I taken full advantage of every day? There is much to think about and much to do.

I do not know what this year has in store for me, but I hope I can take full advantage of the day so that next year I can look back on today and know that I have done my very best to contribute to the forward movement of the world.

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7 Things You Fear Before Turning 30

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  • You can no longer blame the childish things you do on your youth. You think of ways to be as immature as possible before leaving the 20s club.

 

  • You’ll get fat. You’ll definitely get fat. You picture yourself grossly overweight with eight kids. You work out as much as possible before your birthday.

 

  • Kids will call you old. You try to say something hip to sound cool. You forget hip went out ages ago. You just said hip and ages in the same sentence. Your nieces roll their eyes. Your nephews shake their heads. You walk off in shame.

 

  • You wear a smirk at the possibility of catching up with your husband’s age. You’ll both be in the 30s now. You think you’re winning. You forget he’s nine years and four months older than you are and is on his way to the 40s club.

 

  • Speaking of 40, birthdays will never be the same again. You’ll have to wait ten years before getting the spark back. I mean, 31? No one is ever excited about 31. You consider ways to slow down time.

 

  • You fear you won’t actually sound 30 when it gets here. You realize you don’t know how 30 sounds. You consider asking your husband. You forget about the immature thing. You wonder what’s mature and what’s not. You overthink it.

 

  • You hide 20s memorabilia. You’re afraid you’ll miss it. You re-watch chick flicks and cartoons as much as possible before your birthday.

 

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Letter to My Younger Self #MayChallengeDay 26-27

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Do not think that I am upset right now, though my speech is slow and my brow furrowed in my forehead. This is just my thinking face. We are actually pretty calmed right now, optimistic if you will. You see we’ve learned to be this way, content. I want you to know that it is OK to take your time. What you need is already prepared for you in the day that you need it. You’ve got some hard times ahead but some groundbreaking ones too. Your level of resolve will continue to be placed against your desire to endure, so pay attention then to the choices you make; they will bear fruit of whether or not you’ve chosen to be strong or held captive to your weaknesses. I want you to know that it is OK to acknowledge the good in your life; to seek good and to pursue love. The attacks to which you are set to receive are not small but they do have the potential to tear you down if you let it. But if you can instead take the time to ponder all of the good things in your life, to notice the small progressions, these occurrences will not move you nor will they alter your desire to win. I know, I know things are never easy for us, never have been. They are always hardcore, up front, and personal. I regret to inform you that this will not change and it will cause you to often, doubt. I would tell you not to doubt but you won’t listen. Experience will continue to boss you around and pain is still your teacher. However, love, joy, happiness, and contentment will not leave you. Like a mother, sister, aunt or a good friend they will not leave you. There will be temptations galore and they are not limited to the flesh. But remember that the fascination of wickedness obscures what is good, and roving desire perverts the innocent mind. Hold on to your innocence but do not be naïve. Learn to understand the world that you live in, and how to properly navigate it. If I remember correctly, we have much more important teenage stuff to do than to sit here and talk about goals but one more thing before you leave. I want you to write this down and to remember it whenever you feel hopeless. Paulo Coelho, a Brazilian journalist, once said

There are moments when troubles enter our lives and we can do nothing to change them. But they are there for a reason. Only when we have overcome them, will we understand why they were there.”

Signed, Your Future Self

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I’m reposting this from a throwback Bewow post I did last year. My birthday was yesterday (yayy) and I thought it was perfect to repost as the #MayChallenge is coming to a close, which I’m sad to admit makes me excited. (Seriously, I think I was the only person who participated lol). I’ll have something much more organized next time. I don’t think I was ready. LOL.  Anyways, enjoy your weekend.

A Year in Reflection

I’ve done a lot of thinking the week leading up to this day about yesterdays, childhood, adulthood, change, and progression. And as the sun drifted into sleep, I could hear the whispers of the wind as the storm walked around Shreveport last night. I stood on my porch and thought again about this past year and whether or not I’ve grown any. The night was a peaceful calm despite the loud conversations going on between thunder, waving trees, and rain drops. They had a message for me I knew, and had been sent as the first to give me a birthday shout.

Thank-You

As I continue to build and to network and socialize with all of you talented people out there, I would just like to give a special S / O to everyone in the blogosphere who has supported this blog, continues to support this blog, and contributed in any way to its growth. I really do appreciate each of you. I’m twenty-eight years old today and as I grow, I hope that you can grow with me and together increase in the productivity of our writing / blogging goals. If the number eight is symbolic of new beginnings, who know what this year has in store. Perhaps I’ll live long enough to tell you about it.We’ll see.