Tag: endurance

On Healing

bitmoji1466064565

 

Wow. I miss you guys! Feel like I’ve been gone foreeverrr.

Briefly, I’ve been, admittedly, in a funk. Not all of the time. Being away from social media has definitely been productive for sure work wise. But personally, it’s like this year arrived and I suddenly felt extremely down, lonely and secretly, I wanted someone to reach out to me. I wanted to laugh and talk and hang out. I wanted to confide in someone who would understand and I needed a friend. I was listening to sad songs and everything yall. I mean, “Who can I run to when I need love?” Lol.

As I posted to my IG though, replacing “Why is this happening to me?” with “What is this trying to tell me?” has been a game changer. It’s not like just posting quotes but it is something I’ve actually had to think about and speak and literally put into practice. I had to literally stand there and say, “OK EC. See the purpose, see the purpose.” Only when I did this did I begin to regain my strength and not sweat the small stuff.  And because I don’t believe in being this vulnerable publicly unless I have something to share that I learned, I decided to keep silent. Only now that I feel better could I blog about it because I have something to share that I hope will help you as much as it has helped me so here goes:

On Letting Go

Letting go is a process that was never intended for us to do all at once. Even when we have to cut people out of our lives we still hold them in our hearts. It is only little by little that we release them until they are no longer occupying the space in our minds and taking up our energy. So, if you are feeling somewhat discouraged because you are not completely healed I want you to know that you have not failed. You don’t have to get over it in one day because it’s not that simple. Just take it one day at a time. It’s not normal to slice off your arm or your legs and not feel pain. You’ve parted with something that was not just a part of you but that helped the rest of your body to function. To not bleed after this is not to be alive and you are not a zombie. You are human. And as human’s we cannot help but feel.

“Those mountains you are carrying you were only supposed to climb.”

– Najwa Zebian

Now that I am feeling better, I’ve decided my focus this year is on HEALING. Healing spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically, all areas. I no longer have the energy for negative vibes and I won’t fret the small stuff. New beginnings are here and NEW LEVELS are arriving. In short, my focus is on VIBRATING HIGHER and speaking POWER over my life. Some things I’ll be striving to implement:

  • Surround myself with those who want to be in my life without worrying about those who don’t want to be in my life. There will ALWAYS be those who are offended by your evolution. How do you respond? Keep growing.
  • Only use words that will help me to grow: I CAN. I WILL. I AM. I MUST. This is powerful, uplifting and empowering language. The more I infuse these words into my language and into my life, the more I take back control of how I feel.
  • Forgiveness is a personal revolution and breathtakingly liberating when implemented into our lives (because it is connected to love.) My first step in strengthening my levels of forgiveness is learning to forgive myself.
  • If people want to leave, I will peacefully let them go without feeling guilty. This means that if I reach out and I don’t feel it is warranted, I will pull back without fighting the vibe. I am not going to push if I feel my gesture isn’t wanted. People don’t have to tell us how they’re feeling, we can feel it if we’re paying attention. I am not talking metaphorically but for real feel it. In our body, in our hearts, and in our souls. And then, when you are no longer held captive to the opinions of men or scratching against the cage of their judgment, that is when you set yourself free.
This year it is all about my healing and everyone else who is willing to come along with me. No, this is NOT just about me! This is about you too. Self-love is a journey and road trips are always better with more people!

We CAN heal. We WILL heal. We MUST heal. We ARE healing.

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
– Henry David Thoreau
20180111_151540

Endurance

Black woman sitting with eyes closed outdoors

Endurance, the prominence, comes like a splashing dose of faith. Like scars praising the scarlet letters on my skin. As if strength poured forth from the sky and left its prophecies etched on the calcium of my bones. It’s courage far braver than purple hearts or bleeding pens on the white paper of a soldier’s goodbye. Like a car accident that knocks me off my feet but does not kill me, I get it. Nineteen years later the irony of life and death finds itself a home in this house of poetry.

Voice for Radio

vyfvev98dikkizi0xt7mvzl72ejkfbmt4t8yenimkbvvk0ktmf0xjctabnaljim9

They said she had a voice for radio. That her voice had been blessed. And that angels played on the strings of her vocal chords. That her mind had the ability to cough up words from other dimensions that she, danced on the streets of clouds. Somewhere in the storage rooms they said she danced somewhere beyond where beyond is. Maybe, they guessed, maybe the source of her strength is where the secret of the wind is. Maybe it’s where forever is. They said she had a voice for radio. What they didn’t know was that similes were first scattered to the four corners of the earth. Racing to the back room to see who would get to the bed first, or the floor, hardwood, chair, you see life for her ain’t been no crystal stair. Plastic bags with all her stuff they stared cause, she didn’t know what a home was. She had to tell them that though beautiful, this voice was first pregnant and had to go through labor pains before it gave birth.

Between Books – When the Blog Comes in Handy

This isn't my PC but this is how it looks. I have sticky notes everywhere! Uhh.
Google Images Pic.

Only a writer would be folding clothes at twelve o’clock at night and contemplating whether they should make a batch of coffee to spend just a few more hours writing, all of this while the History Channel recaps an episode of Pearl Harbor as background noise. It was then that this post was conceived. In fact, I still have a pair of pants under my arm as I am drafting this. What can I say, gotta write when the spirit moves.

As I took a break from my work to finish laundry that could have waited until morning for normal people, I thought about how much this blog has helped to fill in the gaps during my “Between books” stage (thanks for your support BTW!). I like to think I write at a decent speed (six months to complete the first draft) but after that things tend to slow way down as the revision and editing process kicks in. I thus find myself in the waiting room watching as an author after author fangirls over their new release while I’m in chill mode, waiting for my name to be called. It will be awhile before my book is ready. This is when blogging (among other things) helps a great deal.

It helps because while I am in limbo I can keep up with learning new things, reading new books, and keeping myself in tuned with my readers and supporters until the next book is due. It almost feels like teaching but being off for the summer. Some teachers volunteer to teach summer school for some extra funds while others take advantage of the free time. Blogging for me is like a writing summer school, a way to stay active between books. This also helps me to brainstorm on other ways to expand my business beyond the book itself and into other areas of product.

I do admit it’s a challenge to produce blog posts, engage with other bloggers, share content, engage in social media and keep my ear to the Indie Publishing ground all while writing a novel and there are days where I must turn the phone off. It’s either that or pull my hair out. However, I see it all as part of the work and it’s also a lot of fun to me. I’m a worker bee which means that I HAVE to be doing something and while the blog is still a small part of my life in the full scope of things, it does help to keep me active in more ways than one. I guess that’s sort of the point of this post.

It’s important to continue to produce material and sometimes that will take time. The Blog (and the email list) is the answer to how to stay engaged while you wait. Or at least it is for me. The ability to schedule blog posts is a huge time saver and I could sit my butt in the chair and finish what I’d been putting off. Patience truly is a virtue and I am quite pleased with the revelations I’ve been given so far. I can only hope for increased growth. #HWPO is something I try to keep at the back of my mind. That is, hard work pays off. Let’s hope so.

Now, I should probably go ahead and publish this post and get back to these clothes. It is after 1am my time after all. I’m pretty sure I’m somewhere in dreamland when you’re reading this…or not (shout out to my night-owls with the tiny light under the covers scrolling through blog posts).

 

bitmoji-1051157269

Yecheilyah Ysrayl is the YA, Historical Fiction author of The Stella Trilogy, Blogger, and Poet. She is currently working on her next book series “The Nora White Story” about a young black woman who dreams of being a writer in The Harlem Renaissance movement and her parent’s struggle to accept their traumatic past in the Jim Crow south. “Renaissance: The Nora White Story (Book One)” is due for release spring, 2017. For updates on this project, sneak peeks of chapters, the pending book cover release, and full blurb for this series, be sure to subscribe to Yecheilyah’s email list HERE.