Changes to Book Review Policy: Please Read

I am a Book Blogger and have been for almost three years now. To learn more about my reviews and how to schedule yours, please visit the Book Review Policy page HERE.

Please take note of the new rule.

Gift Me a Copy of Your Book (*UPDATES*)

In the beginning, after you’ve gone through the process of submitting your book information for review and I’ve contacted you, I was allowing you to attach a MOBI or EPUB version of your book to my email for review. This has changed.

While you may submit your first chapters as attachments (See my Review Guidelines Here) I am no longer accepting attachments of the entire book sent to my email for review. I can only accept books that have been gifted to me, sent to my Kindle email or that are attached as PDF’s only.

Once you’ve registered your book and have been given the green light by me, either:

  • Gift me a copy of the book through Amazon or your platform of choice. This is the easiest most hassle-free way to get the book to me. It will automatically download to my Kindle device once I’ve redeemed it.

 

  • Send your EPUB or MOBI directly to my Kindle email at yecheilyahysrayl@kindle.com (I will have to approve you email so be sure to follow the guidelines before attempting to send)

 

  • PDF – If all else fails, you can also send me a PDF copy of the book via email (I do not accept Word Documents. Please don’t attach a doc.) This is the only attachment I will accept because I can download it to my PC and read it that way. I will no longer accept MOBI and EPUB attachments of books sent to my regular email.

(And of course, if you want to ship a paperback / hard copy that’s fine too. Just let me know in our email correspondence.)

I am currently closed to new book submissions but I’ll be opening back up soon. Please visit the Book Review Policy page HERE to learn more and to familiarize yourself with the rest of my process.

Thank you for your time and attention.


Yecheilyah (e-see-lee-yah) is an Author, Blogger, and Poet of nine published works including work in progress and short inspirational guide “Keep Yourself Full.” Learn more by exploring Yecheilyah’s writing on this blog and her website at  yecheilyahysrayl.com. Renaissance: The Nora White Story (Book One) is her latest novel and is available now on Amazon.com.

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3 False Teachings and Misconceptions of the Housewife

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Image Credit: Submission ADs, 1950s

Loss of Identity

–    A woman who chooses to stay home either to raise children or not is not suffering from an identity crisis. She has not lost sight of who she is as a person and what she wants just because she chooses not to break the glass ceiling. Staying home does not mean watching TV all day and spending eight hours in the kitchen. Instead, it gives women a chance to be creative and to pursue dreams they probably never thought possible. With time on their hands and the financial support of their men, these women go out into the community to volunteer and get involved in all sorts of creativity. They are proud to spend all day with their children or their husband if they have no children and to prepare healthy meals for their families. These are the women who do not stuff small mouths with junk food and candy. They take their time purchasing only the choicest goods, they cook and they clean. These undervalued skills contribute largely to the physical, spiritual, and psychological development of the youth. Children who are fed well and loved well can better focus at school among other things. In short, these women are not bored just because they choose the one career underappreciated the most in this society: Family.

Submission = Abuse

  • The image at the start of this post is very disturbing to me. Even more disturbing is that we believe this is what submission is because the Ads, TV commercials, and Hollywood movies told us so. A woman who submits to her man is not being abused by him. Abuse can happen in any relationship at any time, it has nothing to do with submission itself. Because abuse can happen to anyone at anytime it is critical that women understand their value and their worth before trying to find it in a man. You are what you attract and no one, man or woman, who has not learned to love themselves first has any business trying to love anyone else. That said, a wife who submits to a husband simply respects him and his decisions within the family structure as head of her household. It does not mean that the woman is weak or is in any way less capable of leading. Submission simply means to be in agreement because no family can thrive if the house is divided. All parties must be on one accord and as a man’s natural position is to lead, he handles this role well. By nature women are attracted to men in who they see strength. While it is natural for women to get caught up in the everyday life of children and work her love and attention to the man should not cease. I like to call this “Keeping the Spark”. A man who gets this kind of attention from his woman gives it right back (that is if he is a man) and is less likely to seek it elsewhere. Otherwise, it will be difficult for that man to thrive in a home in which his own woman doubts him. The contented face of a happy man has no equal. By happy I am not referring to sex. Though important, sex is not marriage but a part of it. A man provides more than sex and money but leadership, guidance, and discipline for our children. In the 1960s Black marriages were at its best. Black men accepted their roles as natural leaders and black women followed. We stood by them, we supported them, and our homes thrived.

She is Unhappy

  • The problem here is that we have devalued the role of the wife and mother; as if there is a position higher than this. Being a stay-at-home wife or mother is a prestigious position, one that no Hollywood job or high-class position will ever be able to fulfill. Not all women are made to fit this role nor do all women want to and that’s their business. But for those who do, they are not unhappy and depressed just because they choose to treat their men like Kings and make leaders of their children. More wives would keep their husbands if they understood one simple truth: treat him as if he is the most important man in all the world. As far as you are concerned, this man can rule the world with you by his side. There is no man like your man. Is this not how you want to feel? Like you’re the one woman who can rule the world? That you are queen? Why would he want anything different than to be lavished by the woman he loves? When a man feels like he can conquer the world, he will.

 

Movie Night Friday – Coming To America

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It is a treasure to find movies that have it all, and Coming to America is one of those movies. Comedy, History, and Symbolism.

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For the most part, I fell in love with this movie for the same reason that everyone else did, because of its humor. If you need something to help make you laugh then put this movie in. I’m not even going to ask you if it’s part of your collection. I mean, you do have Coming to America…..right???? But as time went on I also started to notice other information of importance that surpassed the laughs. Not only is this movie extremely hilarious, but it also includes many messages.

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Starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall, Coming to America is about Akeem Joffer, the crown prince to the throne of the wealthy African nation of Zamunda, who lives a prosperous life. But having been appointed a wife from birth and forced to marry her, Akeem is unfulfilled to take a woman who would obey him and submit to him. He is also uneasy with the idea of the arranged marriage. In fact, he is sick of being pampered in general. As a result, he decides to take a trip to America to find his bride; as he puts it, “someone who will excite his intellect, as well as his loins.” To make a long story short, he takes with him his friend (or personal side kick whichever fits), named Semmi and together they end up in Queens New York, an impoverished part of New York City, and opt to stay in a run-down apartment in one of the most disgusting rooms in the building (“it’s a shame what they did to that dog”…lol)

Now, since there is so much here, I’m going to take only a couple aspects of the movie that I see that involve a deeper message than the ability to tickle the funny bone.

#1: Authority and Submission

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To start, part of Akeem’s travels is that he is not interested in taking a submissive woman as wife. It’s more than the arranged marriage; it is also the woman’s trained obedience to his authority. The famous, “Whatever you like…” scene showcases this well. While many of us laughed at this and threw our “I know that’s rights!” into the air, smashing our judgmental comments of Imani Izzi (arranged bride-to-be seen here) at the screen, in truth there was nothing wrong with what she said. Of course they had to exaggerate it, but the point is that a woman is supposed to obey her husband. She is his helpmate and her desire is his desire. Contrary to popular belief, authority has nothing to do with money. A man is not the head of his household because he’s supposed to make the money and a woman’s money does not appoint her as the head either. This is society’s definition of authority and it is the reason many women think they can step all over a man because they make more money than he does. And isn’t it a shame? That the one thing we value most in a man, many of our men do not have. No wonder 70% of black women are single.

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A man’s authority is to be the leader and the protector of the family. A man provides more than just money. He provides protection, leadership, and guidance just to name a few. Contrary to feminist thought, submission does not mean weak nor is it synonymous with slave. Submission just means to give respect and to be in agreement. When a woman is respectful and in agreement with her husband she is following his direction. In addition, she strives to keep him happy in every aspect. The saying that a woman is a lady in public and a freak in the bedroom is not made up by happen chance. It just means that a woman works to keep her man happy in every capacity. Even something as subtle as King Jaffe sitting on the throne and Queen Aeoleon standing by his side; this is an accurate portrayal of how it should be. It is no wonder the King walks around with a lion hanging from his shoulders. In the animal kingdom, the lioness hunts down the food, she brings it to the lion, and he is the first to eat. Like I said, respect. As you can see from this example, the woman is by no means idle and her job is not insignificant. She must work to keep the family strong just as he does and ensure her home is a happy and thriving one for her family. She may do this by working or staying at home. Either way, she is helping to add to the strength of this business of sorts called family. She makes decisions and suggestions as well but this authority does not surpass that of her man’s. There can be only one CEO of this business and he stands up to pee for a reason.

In short, Akeem refuses a woman from his own cultural background who will be obedient and respectful to him, and instead seeks a woman from America who is more independent-minded.

#2 Identity

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Akeem is in line to receive his father’s possessions. He is the royal descendent of a great people, much like the children of Israel. As he and Semmi maneuver their way around the “Land of the Free”, you start to notice an unraveling of their culture. They do not desire to be a set-apart nation of priests; they are simply, “Ordinary Americans.” They go from living in a palace to living in poverty; from letting their hair grow long to cutting it off; to being draped in gold, to designer jackets; from being pampered and provided for by a King, to having to work a 9-5 at a restaurant. Akeem and Semmi go from being among a powerful and set-apart people, to a downtrodden and despised people. They go from being in line to inherit the blessings, to accepting of the curse. In America, Akeem is not proud of his cultural heritage, he is ashamed of it.

Even the end of the movie is significant, but I will leave that part alone for the 2-3 people reading this who have not seen Coming to America (smh).

Trailer:

Funny Movie Mistakes:

When Akeem and Semmi get their apartment, the landlord says that the room has only one window facing a brick wall. But when Akeem is out on the fire escape, he yells out to a street, not a wall. And there are two windows.

Watch the movie and see if you can spot the knot!

“What’s your favorite movie? Is this among your collection? Why do you love it?”

Guest Feature – The Blackman’s Guide to Understanding the Blackwoman- Shahrazad Ali

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• It is difficult to get her to listen to new information about a new approach to living her life because she is so certain that she is justified in being out of order. She is mostly a lot of mouth. She can be a number of things, as already proven, but she cannot be a man.
• By nature the Blackman cannot submit to the woman.
• All the good things she says she wants would be immediately available to her if she drops her defenses, drops her suspicions and allows herself to melt into the waiting arms of the man who loves her.
• When the Blackwoman attacks the Blackman publicly she inadvertently gives the entire world permission to attack him also.
• It is not easy for a Blackman to be motivated if his woman doubts him, or if their relationship is so stormy that it takes his head and robs him of the ability to concentrate
• The Blackman can tell which woman is his by the way she submits to his ideas and instructions. And by the way she works to make him happy. His Blackwoman should take the position that his success is her success—their success, and work as a team.
• By letting the Black man be the head of the family she could revive him, and by getting behind him and supporting him he could be free.

A Bone to Pick with The Feminist Movement

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The world as we see it, and as we know it, is a Feminine world. It is a place where women are first in everything. A place where strong men are constantly emasculated; any sign of strength taken and softened to fit the approval of clean faces and man bags. To qualify as a “good man” he must do everything for her, but she is not expected to give anything back. A man does not have the right to defend himself when his life is threatened if it includes women; yet, women are allowed to fight alongside men in brutal and violent wars. A woman cannot naturally produce seed without the sperm of a man, yet, she can abort a baby without him because it’s her body. No one will inquire of his opinion. No one will seek his feelings and beliefs. No one will bother to search out his heart about what he helped create because women do in fact, run the world. Lady Liberty is a Queen. She stands unmoved in the middle of the New York Harbor as the symbol of the world’s leading country, the United States of America; her head is covered with a crown and her arms are raised to shine the light of illumination on mankind. Even in marriage, when the two become one the man must propose on one knee; he must bow in submission of his queen.

Indeed, I have a bone to pick with the feminist movement…

Young man proposing to a woman.

As is my custom, I don’t like making these articles extremely long so we’ll cut to the chase here. I’m going to purposely skip past some information because contrary to popular belief, the feminist movement is not about innocently advocating for the rights of women in the context that we should be treated with love and respect. It is not simply a movement to help women to understand their worth as human beings and to understand the signs of abusive situations with men. Truly I wish it was that simple. But this is not what the feminist movement is about.

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In truth, The Feminist Movement in general has to do with authority and role reversal. Whether we are talking about a series of campaigns for reforms on issues such as reproductive rights, domestic violence, maternity leave, equal pay, women’s suffrage, sexual harassment, and sexual violence, all of which fall under the label of feminism, at its core is the desire for women to be equal in authority with men. It is women who believe they are deserving of the same level of authority as a man.

The problem however, is that when man was initially created he was given a level of authority that was not given to the woman. It does not suggest she does not possess authority, it does not mean she is inferior, and it does not mean she has no place, it just means her place does not surpass that of the man’s. He, the man, was created first, and she is his helpmate. For this reason, because he was created first, it is impossible for her to lead him. Despite whether or not his masculinity has been compromised, a woman cannot be a man and a man cannot be a woman.

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The line that separates the role of men and women have been blurred, twisted, and manipulated by members of the Feminist Movement for quite some time. It is a misunderstanding of submission and authority. It is taking abusive men and saying that men cannot be heads of households because of him. It is taking the abused woman, and saying that she is the embodiment of submission. It is giving of movies, TV shows, magazines, speeches, advertisements, music etc., and creating an image of the woman’s role of submission to that of weakness, and a form of slavery. But it wasn’t until the Feminist Movement and its portrayal of certain images and definitions of words that men and women started to take on the mindset that if a woman does not have the same exact role as the man that she’s somehow inferior. While  before these images women, especially the so called Black woman, understood the power of being on one accord and establishing order within the household.

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A great misunderstanding of a woman’s role and it’s confusion with household chores also took root and became mainstream. We were taught that submissive women stayed at home, raised the children, and cooked dinner while the man worked outside the home, came home and did nothing. While there’s nothing wrong with a woman who stays at home full time to care for her family (it is a great responsibility that should not be looked down upon), as the ad suggests, it was as if a man who ruled his household like the days of old didn’t cook; it was as if he didn’t clean and had no say so in the raising of his children. As such women gravitated toward the notion of feminism because we were taught that for a woman to work outside the home it made her independent and free. The truth is however, that where a woman chooses to be of service does not define her submission. Men can cook dinner, raise the children and wash dishes and still be the head of his household. Under the same token, a woman can work outside the home and still fall under submission to her husband. It is not where she is of service, it is her attitude while of service. But, by outlining these erroneous differences, something as simple as household chores were applied to men and women’s roles. In this way, Feminist were able to craftily defend their position that if a woman is not given the same authority as a man she is being abused. Words like Obedience and Submissive got changed into images like Slavery and Fool and what woman wanted to be a fool? What woman wants to be someone’s slave? And so therefore we have women latching on to the FM under the simple understanding of equality and freedom. But what they didn’t tell us was that this freedom is to release the woman from her natural position in life as helper and counterpart to the man until she now despises this very prestigious position. She thinks she is a queen, but she has been reduced to a fool. Ironically, she has become in her disobedience the same slave she thinks being obedient to her man  makes her.

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I will soon come back to this topic when I have more time. But at the end of the day, whether we’re talking about role, duty, clothing, etc., the purpose of The Feminist Movement is to supply the woman with the same level of authority as the man. This seems innocent enough in terms of rights, but it’s deeper than that. Of course men are to respect women, but women are also to respect men. No matter how we look at this, what The Feminist Movement sets out to do is to disrupt the natural order of things.