Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – The Romeo and Juliet Delusion: Finding Freedom After Trauma by Lori Abbott

Title: The Romeo and Juliet Delusion: Finding Freedom After Trauma

Author: Lori Abbott

Publisher: ‎ Lori Abbott

Published: April 16, 2023

Pages: 125

This is the second memoir I’ve read that grabs your attention from the opening page and delivers an essential message about addiction without holding back.

Lori Abbott is a well-educated attorney with over 15 years of experience in family and criminal law. Yet, she has not discerned that something is off with the guy at the bar. In fact, she finds herself incredibly drawn to him.

Romeo’s energy is electrifying and pulls her in at first glance. Once they start to talk, the attraction is mutual. Though they are each in a relationship now, the chemistry is undeniable.

Abbott and Romeo break it off with their spouses and eventually get together, and that’s when things get weird.

The first red flag was when Romeo invited Lori to his lake cabin in Nisswa, Minnesota, and opened the door using a credit card.

Then, he takes her to a place he said was his house, which looked like a college dorm. She asks about the Harley he said he had, which is nowhere around. Romeo becomes anxious and insists they leave for dinner. Lori complies.

Later, when she asks if they could return to the house, he says they can’t.

Huh?

Abbott catches Romeo in a series of lies but lets it slide, which she later realizes becomes a dangerous pattern.

Romeo loses control and smashes Lori’s car’s radio as the situation worsens. She is then forced to call his mother after he vanishes for several days.

It turns out that Romeo is a meth and heroin addict who is in and out of trouble. He is on child support for his daughter and has a felony case. The lake house was his parent’s year-round lake home, and the house belonged to a roommate who kicked him out. Romeo spends his nights at casinos or crashing on someone’s couch.

And these ain’t spoilers either because chile, things actually get worse.

This book stands out because the author does not shy away from the fact that while Romeo was addicted to drugs, she was addicted to Romeo. Abbott continues to fall for him because he persuades her that he is a victim of his past.

“What I did not realize at the time was that I was already becoming addicted to Romeo—one of the many lessons I have learned the hard way about addiction. I went from stagnation to intoxicating, reckless abandonment in a dangerously short period of time. The dichotomy between those two existences was the greatest rush I had ever felt in my life, and I was hooked.”

-Lori Abbott

The way the author ignored her intuition, knowledge, and awareness to excuse Romeo’s behavior is a warning for all women struggling to leave abusive relationships. Romeo would do the most outlandish things, and Abbott would close her eyes to it because she believed he could change.

“If you do not want to be doing something, but cannot stop doing it, you have a problem. Period.”

-Lori Abbott

This honest, well-written, and vulnerable story is a guide for women overcoming addiction, domestic abuse, and toxic relationships.

Trigger Warning: If you are struggling with similar addictions, be aware the author does not hold back in her descriptions. Proceed with caution.

Ratings:

Strong Introduction: 4/5
Authenticity / Believable: 5/5
Organization: 5/5
Thought Provoking: 5/5
Solid Conclusion: 4/5

Overall: 5/5

Grab Your Copy of The Romeo and Juliet Delusion Here

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We have two more books to promote that were registered before the deadline!

Stay tuned for our next dope read!

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*Books are read in the order they are received.

Cover Reveal: Black History Facts You Didn’t Learn in School

It’s been a long time coming!

What started as a profound series on this blog has been transformed into a full-length history book you can carry with you!

Inspired by the Black History Fun Fact Friday series, I am incredibly honored to finally introduce the book version, Black History Facts You Didn’t Learn in School.

My greatest hope is that after reading this book, you are equipped with enough information to spark conversation and, if necessary, participate in your own activism for the continual education and restoration of Black historical truth.

May it bless the hearts and minds of people outside of yourself.

Share it with your children, spouse, colleagues, co-workers, students, family, friends, and young people.

May it be a reawakening, a restoration, or even a song.

May the stories of our ancestors strengthen and carry us like the Negro spirituals of old.

May this work act as its own redemption song.

Preorder now at blkhistorybook.com.

The Black Bundle

The Black bundle includes the paperback version of the book, the audiobook, and matching companion notebook.

Imagine reading and listening to the book as you take notes!

The Black Paperback

The Black Paperback includes a signed paperback with matching bookmark.

The Black Ebook

The Black ebook is the digital version of the book you can read on your phone, Kindle or any e-device.

For ARC copies, and media inquiries: yecheilyah@yecheilyahysrayl.com.

Every Black Leader Was Not a Civil Rights Activist

I think it’s safe to add this to our world’s watering down of the black history category.

The history books went from eliminating key events in Black history to only talking about MLK and the Civil Rights Movement.

Now, everyone considered a leader in the struggle for Black freedom was a Civil Rights activist.

For example, when Malcolm X’s birthday passed this May, the blogs and tweets mentioned he was a Civil Rights Leader.

No. He. Was. Not.

The Civil Rights Movement, and the Black Power Movement are separate movements with different ideologies and methods of liberation for Black people.

Civil Rights activists like Dr. King followed the nonviolent philosophies of Mahatma Gandhi (who was racist toward Black people, by the way,*), and Malcolm X was a Muslim who identified more with Black independence and an “eye for an eye” philosophy. In other words, if you hit me, I am hitting you back.

*Gandhi said Black people were “troublesome, very dirty, and live like animals” when he was in South Africa in 1903. He also said that white people should be “the predominating race.”

In fact, Malcolm was a major critic of the Civil Rights Movement:

“You don’t have a turn-the-other-cheek revolution. There’s no such thing as a nonviolent revolution. [The] only kind of revolution that’s nonviolent is the Negro revolution. The only revolution based on loving your enemy is the Negro revolution. The only revolution in which the goal is a desegregated lunch counter, a desegregated theater, a desegregated park, and a desegregated public toilet; you can sit down next to white folks on the toilet. That’s no revolution. Revolution is based on land. Land is the basis of all independence. Land is the basis of freedom, justice, and equality.”
– Malcolm X, December 10, 1963, Speech at a rally in Detroit, Michigan

Referring to all Black leaders as Civil Rights Activists implies that Black people were always willing to be nonviolent in our quest for equality (or that we all sought to be equal with those who oppressed us), and that’s not true.

Our children must know that there were several ways in which we went about acquiring freedom for ourselves beyond the Civil Rights Movement, from Marcus Garvey’s Pan-African Movement to Slave Revolts to the Black Power Movement.

I admire all of these movements and the people who led them, for they all impacted where we are today.

And this is why I do not believe in leaving any of them out.

Nat Turner and Denmark Vesey are just as important to the history of Black freedom as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., but they’ll tell you they were crazy and eliminate their story so you think there weren’t any Black people who stood up and fought, just marched.

Dear Self-Publishers, Don’t Limit Your Potential

The Martian started as a self-published book.

Its author, Andy Weir, said he didn’t think the book had mainstream appeal and was surprised anyone was interested.

It began as a series on Weir’s website, and when readers complained it was hard to read the stories sitting at their computer, Weir listened to his audience and put it out as an ebook and then on Amazon’s Kindle.

It then got picked up by a small Canadian audiobook company.

Then Random House was interested, and before he knew it, Weir had a movie based on a book he started writing on his website that he went on to Self-Publish.

The Martian would later be nominated for several Oscars.

Self-publishing doesn’t just benefit authors who wish to go Independent, but it could also help authors who want to attract the attention of publishing houses.

Everyone’s publishing journey is different, and there is no telling where yours might take you.

Going the traditional route doesn’t make you a sellout, and self-publishing doesn’t mean your book is trash.

If you take the time to craft a well-written, high-quality book that people just can’t stop talking about, the sky is not even the limit of where it could take you.

Remember, The Martian did not automatically go to print by a traditional publisher. It first got picked up as an audiobook which, according to Weir, made him more money than the movie!

For a more personal example, I didn’t intend to give the platform much attention when TikTok launched. I thought it was for kids, I don’t dance, and I didn’t think I had time to learn another app.

But I took a chance and have grown my account to over 18K followers (updated: We are now at 23.6K!) went viral at 1.3million views, started a TiKTok shop, and have over 20 new email sign-ups that came directly from TikTok.

I am not telling you to start a TikTok account. I am telling you not to limit yourself.

In the words of Maya Angelou: “Pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”

Check out more Indie Author Basics articles here.

Historical Context is Important

I was away spending time with family when the now-viral Montgomery Riverboat brawl occurred.

When I finally logged into social media, I saw hilarious memes of folding chairs and pictures of Louis Farrakhan clamping his hands together proudly with the words: “Black people across America watching that video today…and ya’ll know what video I’m talking about.”

But I did not know what video they were talking about.

And then I saw it, but the fight video did not draw my attention as much as a specific viral meme.

This meme is inaccurate and should not be shared!

The meme identifies Nathaniel Alexander as the inventor of the folding chair, but the picture is of a different Black inventor.

The man in this picture is not Nathaniel Alexander. It is Lewis Howard Latimer who worked with Thomas Edison and helped make the light bulb possible.

Latimer is responsible for many of Edison’s patents because he worked as the original draftsman at Edison’s research laboratory.

Latimer also worked with Alexander Graham Bell on the telephone.

I cover more about Latimer in the upcoming book.

As for Alexander, he was not the first to patent the folding chair, which had already been used going as far back as ancient Egypt.

In the US, an early patent for a folding chair was by Jordan Cram in 1855.

Alexander’s invention improved the folding chair featuring a book rest which he patented in 1911.

“The purpose of my invention is to furnish a chair with a book rest or support that will be immediately placed in position when the seat of the chair is lowered…Another purpose of the invention is to provide a folding chair with a book holder and rest…”
https://www.truthorfiction.com/nathaniel-alexander-folding-chair-inventor/

Fredric Arnold also patented a folding chair in 1947.

The memes are funny, but historical context is important. A child somewhere now thinks Lewis Latimer is Nathaniel Alexander and that he invented the folding chair because it’s all over Google.

While both were Black inventors, the meme is decontextualized and could lead many astray.

Cause really, neither man invented the folding chair.

Let us do our part to ensure that we are not spreading disinformation. Black history is too rich and extensive for us to have to make anything up.

Lessons from Grace Part Two

These are the lessons I am learning thus far on my journey to give myself more grace.

Take the Pressure Off

Story A.

I was never under any pressure to share the same stuff on all of my social media channels. I have never automated my posts to ensure that what I write to one also appears on the other, for this reason. Early on, I recognized that each medium had a slightly different audience. And I rarely received the same reaction when I attempted to post the same thing. At times, it works, but it’s not something I do often. Each platform, to me, is its own. Therefore, what I post to TikTok won’t necessarily make it to Instagram, and what I post to Instagram won’t necessarily make it to Facebook. (Hardly anything makes it to Facebook. It is my least favorite platform.)

Story B.

This weekend, I am excited to attend my family’s annual BBQ. That’s right. My Chi-town homies are coming down for us to meet in Augusta, GA, for some family time.

We were all to stay at the same hotel until my cousin called and said a group of them would stay at an Airbnb.

“Okay cool. Imma cancel our room then and find a cheaper hotel.”

I’m not staying at an overpriced hotel that everyone else is suddenly not staying at. (Cause how ya’ll just gonna leave.)

Nope. Imma find something else. (And I did at a little over $100 cheaper with the same quality.)

What’s my point of these two stories?

Take the pressure off yourself to do what everyone else is doing, appear polished and put together, or post eighty-six times a day.

Take the pressure off yourself to show up in spaces you are not comfortable with to make other people comfortable. This includes spending money you don’t want to spend.

Take the pressure off yourself to respond immediately to emails, text messages, and comments.

Take the pressure off yourself to agree with everything, overextend yourself, or do more work than is necessary.

Take the pressure off yourself to always go the extra mile, even when no one is going the extra mile for you.

Give yourself more grace by taking the pressure off.

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – Everyday I’m Hustling by Vivica A. Fox

Title: Everyday I’m Hustling

Author: Vivica A. Fox

Publisher: ‎ St. Martin’s Press

Published: April 3, 2018

Pages: 264

There are a few books I come back to a few times a year to savor their wisdom and life lessons. Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Tabitha Brown’s Feeding the Soul, and Vivica A. Fox’s Everyday I’m Hustling are a few.

I met Miss Fox at her 2018 book signing. I am Soul had passed the review board the same year and was approved to be in the same store. We were in the same space, our books on the shelves of Nia Damali’s (aka Mama Nia’s) Medu Bookstore at the Greenbriar Mall in Atlanta.

With Soul Food and Set It Off being two of my favorite movies, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say hi. What I enjoyed most is Fox personality is the same as you see in public and the same voice you read about in her book. She is down to earth, funny, and wants to know how a girl from Chicago ended up with a name like Yecheilyah.

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Everyday I’m Hustling is part memoir, part self-help, and part recipe book. It is filled with life experiences of Fox’s upbringing in Indiana, her acting career, strategies and business advice, and some tea on her relationship with Curtis “50 Cent,” Jackson.

Reading this book feels like sitting down with your Aunt and listening to her tell you life stories while giving advice. “Success does not guarantee the absence of getting your ass kicked,” she says while stirring a pot of Sug’s Crock-Pot Black-Eyed Peas. In true elder fashion, she deviates from the story to give cooking lessons.

You’ll roll your eyes in your head, wanting her to come back to the story. Her recipe pauses are your least favorite part, but then she’ll start talking about bonding with Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett-Smith, and Kimberly Elise off-camera during the Set It Off filming and bring you back. You’ll learn fun tidbits, such as how the line “You didn’t even bother to ask me if I was thirsty, sister,” was an adlib Fox asked to be in the film. She says she wanted there to be at least one sister-to-sister moment.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:

“Don’t let anybody dim the shine of your accomplishments. If they’re not paying your bills, why in the hell would they validate your worth?”

“Don’t overpay to play.”

“You can’t get typecast in life. There is a shelf life for certain chapters in your life. If you learn how to go into each chapter gracefully, then you can extend the longevity of your career.”

“Don’t point out the slips that only you know you made.”

I love this one! It reminds me of what Mr. Tolson (Denzel Washington) said in the movie The Great Debaters (another one of my favorites) when one of his students talked badly about himself. “Would you punch yourself in a street fight” The boy frowns, “No.” Then don’t punch yourself in a word fight,” says Denzel.

You don’t have to constantly bring up your flaws to be seen as valuable. You were born worthy. Stop pointing out slips (flaws) no one knows exist but you.

“I always tell people to educate themselves with real experience.”

“When you are working with someone, you are cobranding, so you have to look at the visibility of that brand.”

This is a good gem since collaboration is a popular word today. It is not wise to collaborate with just anyone. There must be something in it for you too. Does the person or company share your mission, purpose, and goal? Do they have the visibility and connections to help you like you are helping them? It’s a lot of people who just want to look important, but when you investigate further you see they can’t really do anything for you.

“Pitch your niche. It’s not bragging, it’s establishing your credibility.”

Ratings:

Strong Introduction: 4/5
Authenticity / Believable: 5/5
Organization: 4/5
Thought Provoking: 5/5
Solid Conclusion: 4/5

Overall: 4/5

Grab Your Copy of Everyday I’m Hustling Today

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Stay tuned for our next dope read!

*Books are read in the order they are received.

	Yecheilyah on Ain’t No Red Carpet for…
	V.M.Sang on Ain’t No Red Carpet for…
	Janice Dennis on Mistakes Self-Publishers Make…
	Yecheilyah on Black History Lives
	Yecheilyah on Black History Lives