Your Peace

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The only time anything negative possesses power over us is when we weaken ourselves. Indeed, darkness will be there lets face it, just as the sun rises it also sets. Still, light prevails and if you’re looking closely enough you’ll see that sometimes growth comes from knowing tomorrow’s peace begins with today. Everything is energy and as positive energy is higher than negative energy, a stress-free life begins with operating outside of that negative space. As such one can then use and control the positivity and live with daily productivity, growth and advancement. To control energy. It means that you have the power to change everything around you, for every situation that wishes to show its face today also has a solution. If we’re willing to look close enough we can see the purpose. Yes, its hard but beneath the surface is a purpose and that purpose is to cultivate something in you. If we choose to look close enough, we can discover what that is. If we choose to endure. If we choose light even when it’s lonely. Even when it’s difficult, and even when it’s painful. If we choose to command our peace to be still.

How I Stay Positive – The Four Agreements

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•Be impeccable with your word.
• Don’t take anything personally.
• Don’t make assumptions.
• Always do your best.

I try to stay true to these steps and in return they help me to maintain peace and positivity in my life.

Be impeccable with your word

We’ve all heard it before: “All a man has is his word”. This is the truest thing ever spoken. It doesn’t matter if that man is poor, if he is rich, if he has a successful career, etc. What sets him apart from the other is his speech. The things he says, how he says them and why. A good man or a good woman can always be dependable when it comes to their words. They are not gossipers, they are not slanderers, and they are not backbiters or murderers of the tongue. They make sure that the words they speak will not bring about negativity and strife either to themselves or others. Be impeccable with your word. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Flattery will get you nowhere. Let your actions speak.

To be impeccable with your word means to:

• Speak with integrity
• Say only what you mean
• Avoid using words to speak against yourself
• Avoid using words to speak against others
• Use the power of your word for truth and encouragement

2. Don’t take Anything Personally

This was a big one for me and I do believe for most people. The origin of strife and drama is usually because people choose to take things that other’s say way too personal. In return, they react (either by word or deed) in a defensive way. We forget that others have opinions and that these opinions are based on their own experiences and perspective. This means their words are a reflection of them NOT YOU. However, this is rarely if ever understood and we allow negativity to come into our space because we are so caught up in ourselves. We think that the things people say and do is always about us. Even when those things are about us, we are so quick to give up our power. But when we avoid taking stuff personally, we take away the power that others try to have over us and can instead focus on encouragement and positivity for ourselves and others.

Here are some techniques to help:

• Use “I” statements.
• Don’t put yourself down.
• Don’t use excuses or blame others.
• Offer any possible alternatives.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

This one is just as big as the last one: Don’t Make Assumptions! The problem that leads us here is usually our own convictions. We have issues (as we all have) and sometimes someone gives a message, or comment, or opinion that exposes these issues. The people or person exposing these issues are not intentionally targeting a specific person or group, they are simply stating truths. However, there is almost always someone who will be convicted by such truths and in turn become offended. As a result, because they cannot be sure if such a thing is targeted toward them specifically, they create the assumption that it’s just them and the other person in the world and the other person had so much time on their hands that they decided to speak negatively about them. The product of an assumption is always because someone took something personally or did not verify their sources. To avoid making assumptions, it is always best to gather all of the facts since many assumptions are made because people don’t ask for clarification. I chose to rid assumptions from my life by communicating as much as possible as not to create drama, gossip, and confusion < all of which are the result of an assumption.

4. Always Do Your Best

Stay away from the bare minimum and strive for excellence. Deny yourself the satisfaction of being lazy; instead, approach every project with the same level of professionalism despite the reward. The key to this agreement is to recognize when you are doing your best and accept those results despite the quality. Too often we set our goals by what other people deem important instead of what we know to be important. We whine and we complain that our results are not their results and this is a recipe for disaster and robs you of the positive in your life. As long as you look for confirmation from others you will always be second best. Instead, look to do things differently and to the best of your ability. Create a uniqueness that is exclusive to you and be good at it. This is what draws people into you, whether it is your writing or your blog. Always do the best you can and notice those small progressions in your life. To focus on being positive, encouraging and doing your best, stop focusing on the problem and work toward a solution. Learning comes by trial and error, so do not expect everything to succeed. Sometimes you’ll have to learn by doing it wrong. As such, you will begin to see why it did not succeed and try again the next time. Only this time you are so much more knowledgeable and wise about that thing. You did not focus on the act of failing, you focused on what you can do to succeed. Positive people always see the good in things because they focus on the good.

Choices

I woke up this morning to this scene in The Matrix Reloaded. I’ll just leave it here:

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Oracle: We can never see passed the choices we don’t understand.

Neo: You mean I have to choose whether Trinity lives or dies?

Oracle: No, you already made the choice. Now you have to understand it.

– The Matrix Reloaded

Writing 101: Assignment #3 – One Word Inspiration–Choice (a poem)

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Created to choose good
we traded our crown for the right to understand evil
And stand now as soldiers in a time of war
load me down with breastplates and helmets
for we shackle ourselves to the decisions we make
There are many paths before us,
a starlight fantasy for our dreams
a playground for our games
and truths
and falsehoods
all candy coated to look alike
these paths unfold like red carpet occasions
judgment spreads its arms like a mother
beckoning for her children
inviting us into its chest
and there we feed on the free will
to choose our own verdicts
what kind of life will we live
and what will we trail behind
choices
we live on them
desperately
like the very breath we breathe
inhale and exhaling ourselves to the next step
what will become of this poem
will I dare to save a life
is it possible
that one can live on these words
desperately
nourished simply by the right
to choose
to read them

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A Message to The College Bound

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I first want to give sincere congratulations to all of my High School Grads going on to College this year! What an exciting journey! Education happens to be another passion of mine and I love seeing young people achieve. Sure, I have my thoughts on the school system as a collective whole, but that doesn’t mean it’s all bad. I still love the idea of continuing ones education and if I didn’t have mad student loans, it is something I wouldn’t mind going back to.

So, I was speaking to a niece of mine and I do have a some suggestions for those stepping into this new life:

  • Don’t Have Too Much Fun

College is a different world than High School. Partying and drinking all night may make you popular, but your professor will fail you, without mercy and without pity. The decisions you make now are extremely critical and they impact you for life. Don’t be the person who could have graduated but was too busy chasing sex and Hennessy to study. This is your chance to be the adult you couldn’t wait to be. This means maintaining discipline, control, and making wise decisions. College students, especially freshmen, are green lights to those who only want to cause your downfall. This is not High School which means you should always be aware of your surroundings and use logic in every decision you make.Trust for these first years should not be a big priority, get to know people first or they will take advantage of you.

  • Be Sure to Choose a Major that is in Line With the Career Path You Want to Take.

Political Science sounds good on paper, but you’ve been into math your whole life, why not accounting? Some actions don’t require research, just common sense. Make sure your majors line up with your career path and goals. Don’t just pick anything because it sounds cool, but make sure it will lead you to where you want to be. Beware also of majors that won’t get you anywhere after you graduate. For instance: Unless you are trying to be a preacher, a major in Theology’s not going to do much for you. Philosophy is another one that sounds deep, but won’t take you anywhere in the real world. Make sure your course of study is in an area that is strong, where there are plenty of careers in that field.

  • Don’t Choose Your School Just Because of its Prestigious Reputation

Don’t believe the hype. I’m sure we would all like to go to Harvard but there’s a good chance you can save a lot of money going to a smaller school and receive the same level of education. Don’t limit yourself to what you see on TV, but keep your options open and never participate in something because you just heard about it. Do your research and make sure it’s the right thing for you.

  • Have Fun!

There’s enough hard work and study to go around for everybody, but don’t forget to enjoy the experience because once its over that’s it. You will never get the opportunity to experience this again. Even as we age, College for the first time is never as fresh and as exciting as it is when you are fresh out of High School. Many of you will have your own apartments for the first time, your own space by way of a dorm room, you’ll get to pay your own bills for the first time and make big decisions on your own. It’s just a different experience at 17 and 18, than 40 and 45 because life is just beginning; so if you have a chance to do it now don’t wait. Take it all in, study but don’t forget to breathe, it’s a wonderful moment and it will disappear before you know it. I started off saying not to have too much fun, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have any. Just balance your time and discipline yourself and you’ll do fine.

#Ronovan Writes Weekly #BeWoW Prompt- Get It Together

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No, that’s not Ron’s suggested prompt but it was inspired by it. Ronovan’s prompt is “Are You Ok?”

It’s an interesting thing how a week can comprise a singular theme. Sometimes there are lessons we have to learn and messages silently embedded into our day to day that we do no always see. The central theme of my week for instance had to do with not letting things burden me.  So when I saw Ron’s prompt: “Are You OK?” it was on accord with my thoughts already. So my dose of positivity for today is Ron’s idea with a mixture of something I tell myself often, more so this week, and that is: “Get It Together!”

For those of you who know me by now, you know that I believe strongly in the power of choice and how our choices impact our lives. I counsel sisters from time to time and I noticed there’s a lot of depression taking place. I even found such depression to try and overtake me but I had to stop and ask myself a serious question: “Do you want to feel this way right now? Of all the things that need to be done and that are being done, really EC? Now?” From there I made the conscious decision to be OK with leaving things undone that attempt to rob me of the peace I so need in this moment. This was important to me because I knew that I will not otherwise accomplish the things I needed to. I saw this feeling then as a stumbling block to my daily priorities. Sometimes the problem is that we often try to go back and see how we can redo things that we really need to let go completely. We all have our moments (I know I do), but when our emotions get tangled sometimes we do not need to dwell on why, we just need to “Get it together” because the choice is yours no matter what it is. If you want to, you can shake the baggage and fly or you can give it permission to wear you down.

For the most part the advice to those who suffer from depression or any other negative spirit is “trying to figure out what’s wrong”, but not today. Today my message is the opposite, just drop it and get yourself together. Easier said than done I know, but it’s not impossible to do. Sometimes it’s not about thinking things through, it’s about letting them go completely and being OK with moving on.

The Hobbyist Writer & Understanding Goals

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“Do you consider writing to be a Hobby alone? Or do you intend to build a business around it”

This is a question I often ask people who approach me with the idea of writing and self-publishing a book. Mostly young people who are new to the industry and do not have a lot of information about how to go about the Self-Publishing process. So I thought I’d write about it here since I was recently approached by a young woman who’s writing her first novel (yayy her!). The core of the question is this: What goals do you have for this book? Is it the first of many or something you just want to try and see where it takes you? Do you plan to become an author with websites and blogs and networks or is this just something you want to put out to see your name in print? Do you plan to publish Traditionally or Self-Publish?

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It benefits to weigh the pros and cons of self-publishing and traditional publishing. Even though I’m a Self-Publisher, by looking into TP (the unofficial abbreviation for Traditional Publishing), I’ve learned a lot in my career. I’ve learned how to be better organized for example. I have always said myself: “if you don’t think you can put in the work necessary for self-publishing, it may be a good idea not to.” But I have learned too that everyone does not have this option, though they have this option. For most people, the option to publish traditionally flies out the window at the thought that it will never happen because it’s based on the approval of someone outside of themselves and it is therefore no guarantee. But as a result, they blindly plunge into this ever growing sea of books and fall into the category of a Hobbyist Writer.

What is a Hobbyist Writer? Something I made up. But, more specifically, a Hobbyist Writer is someone who’s infatuated with the idea of publishing. There is no specific goal or reasoning behind publishing the book except to see what it’s like to hold its preciousness between your fingers and bask in the awe of what you’ve done. The internet has made it easy to publish almost anything. Thus, there are waves of new authors out there who write specifically to publish their work and to see it in print. I think this is great. On the other hand, if you plan to get more serious and organized, to simply write books and publish them without vision, or direction does nothing for your writing career. So know what you want and the requirements to obtain it. Writing a book doesn’t have to mean you want to publish it and publishing a book doesn’t mean you want to sell it. Thanks to today’s technology, we have these options. You can sell a book or you can just give it away for free. So I would definitely say to clearly define your goals before stepping out. A goal is a desired result that a person or a system envisions, plans and commits to achieve and in my opinion does tend to change over time.

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Personally, I publish often, at least once a year (with the exception of this year, where I plan to publish three books as part of a short story series) because I like writing and I think the best way to polish any skill is to do it often. And I do hope that the more I engage in the process, the better at it I’ll become and the more people I’ll reach. What I enjoy most is that with each book I learn something new, and I am able to add that to my stored chamber of experience. Though I write a lot, I do not consider myself a Hobbyist Writer because the desired result, the end game if you will, is to build something greater than a sea of published books. There’s a lot I want to do eventually that go beyond writing my own books. At the same time, I like to keep everything organized and this is when the business me kicks in. I believe that everything you do, whether you get paid or not, should be done with some level of professionalism. So if you’re going to write a book, it should have some level of significance even if it’s just a hobby. If nothing else, I have learned that if you don’t place value on your work, no one will. And that’s why established and clearly set goals are important; it adds value to the work. Whether that work comprises something you just want to try or something you want to build on.