Tag: blogger

Men Give More

…in relationships.

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I saw this post on Facebook made by a sister who made a very valid point. While I cannot remember her entire statement, in summary, what she said was that men are more accepting of women when it comes to relationships. I agree with that statement. I have seen it happen over and over again even within my own past. I have a cousin, for example, who has always, despite having children, been capable of having a man by her side. Not because she’s the best person ever, but because men are usually more loving than women. Meaning, a man is willing to accept a woman with all of her flaws. He is willing to accept that she has six children and no job. He does not mind providing for her and being there for her. A man would marry a woman the world thinks is fat or ugly. Men do this because men tend to give more than we do.

Women love of course, but we are also much more judgmental and rejecting. For most women, if a man can’t provide financially he is nothing. If he is not good looking,  he is nothing. If he is not sexually adequate, again, he is nothing. You see, men, contrary to popular belief, are not just this hard core structure of a person. But real men have deep emotional feelings, they do cry and they do feel pain. It is possible that a man who has been hurt by a woman he truly loves will never come back from that. Society says that this man is weak but this couldn’t be any further from the truth. It’s not that men who show their emotions are weak, it’s that men are just more loving. As a woman, I am not saying we do not love or have the same deep feelings since we tend to be extremely emotional, but what I am saying is that it is true that men tend to give more in relationships than women.There’s a saying that rings true:  “You ain’t a Queen until you’re married to a King”, but some women would rather rule alone than to admit it.

Movie Night Friday – Boyz N The Hood

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Welcome back to another Movie Night Friday, where I tell you about my favorite movies and why I love them. If you like the movies too, feel free to comment why you love them.

So today we’re looking at Boyz N The Hood, one of the best hood movies ever made.

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John Singleton’s Directorial debut, Boyz N The Hood, released in July of ’91, is a Coming of Age Drama surrounding the life of three black men growing up in South Central LA, and starring some of the best black actors to date: Lawrence Fishburne, Ice Cube, Cuba Gooding Jr., Angela Basset, Regina King, and a young Nia Long, and Morris Chestnut. In fact, this was Ice Cube and Chestnut’s first movie debut.

99983 After his many troubles in school, a young Tre (Desi Arnez Hines II) is sent to live with his father Furious Styles (Fishburne) by his mother Reva (Basset) in the Crenshaw neighborhood of South Central. His father, one of the reasons this became one of my favorites, instills in Tre the life lessons and values many of his young friends do not have. In fact, as Tre reunites with his childhood friends, Darrin “Doughboy”, his brother Ricky and Chris, their mutual friend, his lessons in manhood take on new meaning and his decisions become critical. His friends do not have the privilege of a positive father figure and are drawn to the streets for guidance. Furious therefore warns Tre about following in their footsteps but despite his warnings, older Tre (Cuba) and his friends have their own way of surviving. In this Teen Hood Drama, loyalty and danger dance too close for comfort, and dire situations force Tre to decide for himself the future he wants.

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Trailer:

Funny Movie Mistakes:

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In the scene where Lawrence Fishburne hooks up Cuba Gooding Jr.’s fade, he never actually cuts any hair, but then demands that Cuba clean up the mess after he is finished.

LOL!

Watch the movie and see if you can spot the knot!

Audio Books: Yay or Nay?

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I experiment with recording myself reading my own stories sometimes, (mostly for promotion of a new book) but I admit, I’ve never actually listened to a book. Seems kind of awkward for a book worm like me; I’d much rather read it. I have this image in my head that I may discover to be stereotypical in the future, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. You see in my mind, audio books (with the exception of poetry of course) are made up of mostly old people (no offense) who sit in rocking chairs narrating stories. But it’s not like the exciting person to person, face to face stories Grandma used to tell. Instead it’s long and drawn out. I don’t even know if there’s music involved, maybe. Makes me wonder: What components are necessary to make an audiobook something more desirable than reading the actual book? I do know that auditory learning, a learning style in which a person learns through listening, is one of the most effective teaching styles. Just look at music itself and how easily it is to learn something new just by adding a beat to it. From that end, I can see how audio books can help the auditory learner who depends on hearing and speaking as their main way of learning. I can also see how an audio book can come in handy for someone with an extremely busy schedule or for multitasking. I hear of some authors who offer an audio book version of their book in addition to the hard copies. With busy summers, I can see how this could be useful, even fun. But what if the story is super long and the reader’s voice is monotone! That’s scary. Listening to the book while reading it on the other hand, now that may prove an exciting experience I wouldn’t mind trying.

What are your thoughts? Would you offer an audio version of your book if given the chance?  Are you for plugging in or turning pages? Yay or Nay?

Slavery and Affliction: The Difference Between

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10 weeks ago, in Charleston North Carolina, an unarmed black man (Walter Scott) was shot in the back. The footage was caught on video. Today, his murderer sits in a cell next to last weeks Charleston Shooter, as many are now calling him. After killing 9 people, Dylan Roof went on the run and was caught 16 hours later by Law Enforcement. Once captured, FBI began to question Roof. Shortly after that, according to a statement given to the Charlotte Observer, they took Roof to Burger King because he said that he was hungry.

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Two months ago, 25 year old black man, Freddie Gray, was arrested by police, taken into custody, and critically injured in the transporting van. He fell into a coma and died due to injuries to his Spinal Cord. His death would lead to ongoing protest in downtown Baltimore. Pending further investigation into the incident, the six suspected police would be suspended… with pay.

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I know it annoys a lot of people, the constant conversations about blacks and race. The constant eruption of discussion concerning racist whites against blacks. The constant pushing forth of articles and posts concerning the relationship between these groups of people. At some point in History, every nation of people have experienced some form of racism within the context in which we know it. Specifically, when we talk about blacks in America, the subject of slavery often accompany the explanation concerning our captivity and struggles here. You’d be hard pressed to sit in on a conversation that does not include that part of history. What people who are not black, however, must understand is that it is not just about slavery. The institution itself was very traumatic for our people and has had, as a result, a dramatic effect on us so much so that it leaves a mental stain even until this day. However, this alone does not make our story unique, though it plays a pivotal  role. Just as other nations have been discriminated against, other nations too have seen some form of slavery (though not to the extent of our confinement). This is the commonality of our servitude. The difference however, is this:

The reason you will always hear of blacks when discussing racism is not just because they have been slaves, nor is it simply because they have been mistreated once or twice. But in addition to slavery, being black in America also has to do with our affliction in America. We have not been slaves for 400 years, but we have been afflicted for nearly 400 years. Since 1619, when the first blacks were brought through the ports of Jamestown Virginia to begin what we know as the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade, we have been mistreated and afflicted for the entire time that we have been in this land. Meaning there has not been a let up; not one moment of peace and it has been nearly 400 years, this is what makes our captivity unique. From slavery, to Jim Crow, to police brutality, racism and discrimination, high prison population, drugs, disease, you name it, we’ve seen it. Name one instance in History, from 1619 forward, where blacks have not experienced some form of humiliation.

I’ll wait.

Others have been, and are mistreated, but none outside the so called African American can produce documentation that will prove that their people have endured one continual stomping, blow by blow by blow for nearly 400 years straight. Blacks were not part of the U.S. Constitution, they are an add on; an amendment if you will. And this is the difference between having been a slave and having endured a continual affliction even after that  slavery has ended. Thus, while we have not been in physical chains this whole time, we have been afflicted this whole time (aside from the affliction of chains) more than any other people. Our psychological troubles then, and the anger built up among many of our lost brethren, is because they have seen their people as constant targets.