Tag: blogger

Week #2: Beyond The Colored Line: Inside Interracial Marriages with Author Lisa Tetting

interracialIt’s kind of hard to believe this today, but as recent as 1967, there was actually state laws that banned interracial marriage. These laws weren’t overturned until the Supreme Court case, Loving vs. Virginia in 1967. In that case, the Supreme Court found that it was unconstitutional for the state of Virginia to ban interracial marriage.

Although there are no longer any laws banning relationships, interracial dating remains a controversial subject for some people.

Welcome to Week #2 of my Fall Interracial Blog Feature! The Interracial Blog Feature was inspired by my new book, “Beyond The Colored Line”, and was created as a means to foster a better understanding of diverse relationships. Today, we welcome Lisa W. Tetting, author of “The Mistreatment of Zora Langston” to the convo.

EC: Hey Lisa, I’m so excited to have you spending time with us today. Can you give the racial background of you and your husband for the record and how long you’ve been together?

LT: Thanks for having me. My husband and I have been together for 20 years and married for 15 of those. I am of African American decent and he is Caucasian.

EC: Wow! So collectively you have been together longer than I’ve been alive! That’s so beautiful. Now, what are some challenges that interracial couples deal with that couples of the same race may not have to deal with?

LT: The obvious answer would be dealing with the stares of people who are not used to seeing mixed raced couples. Some people stare at us out of curiosity and others show complete disgust. Living in the south is somewhat challenging, but I will say it is easier today than when we first started dating. I can’t say for sure if it is a change in society or if we have simply gotten used to other people’s reactions.

Another challenge would be cultural differences. I have heard other mixed raced couples who say they struggle with their partner understanding their mindset and the differences in upbringing. I lucked out in that department because my husband was immersed in the culture and there have been very few times where he needs something explained. The same goes for me as I have always been someone who has an insatiable curiosity. This afforded me the opportunity to interact with people from all walks of life and all races.

EC: Awesome. Do you have any tips or advice to help couples overcome these challenges?

LT: As far as dealing with other people’s response to their relationship the only advice would be to ignore them. As with any relationship, you will never be able to please everyone so it is best to worry about pleasing the two people involved. No one else matters and that goes for family as well as strangers. If your family loves you they will come around and if not do you really want that kind of person in your life? You have the privilege of choosing your mate in this country so don’t let anyone deter you from being happy.

Speaking on cultural differences, you just have to show patience when learning the differences and be sure to wear your thick skin because there will be times when your partner will say something you may find offensive, but they are clueless to your interpretation. Be an open book and teach your partner instead of expecting them to know.

EC: Hmm, I love when you said your partner may not understand something, which is so true. Sometimes we are so used to being defeated that we are instantaneously offended at the mere thought of something when it was not intended to be that way from the perspective of the other person. I love that. Now, when African-Americans and Whites marry, there is more likely to be an African-American husband and a white wife. In fact, 73 percent of all African-American and White marriages have this setup. In your opinion and your experience with Interracial Relationships, why do you think Black men are more likely to date outside of their race?

Doug and Lisa Tetting
Photo Credit: Copyright© Doug and Lisa W. Tetting. Used with Permission

LT: Actually, I have found that less than 12% of African American males marry outside of their race, this is according to the 2010 census figures. That being said, I feel when it comes to mixed race couples, black men may be more likely to date white females as opposed to black women dating white males. However, it seems the tables are turning in this aspect and more black women are allowing themselves to think and date outside the box.

EC: That is interesting since I hear a lot of black people, women in particular, accusing other blacks of being “sell outs” when they date outside their race. Have you ever had the misfortune of the title and why do you think this is?

LT: Actually I have never had that title bestowed upon me, at least not to my face. LOL. In my experience when dealing with other black women once they are aware that my husband is white; I am usually met with curiosity. Most of the time they have questions about how white men treat you as opposed to black men and my answer is always the same. A man is a man and he will treat you according to his upbringing and his interest in you. The manner in which he treats you depends on how you carry yourself, no matter his color.

EC: “A man is a man”, I love that. Let me know if this is too personal, but I have to ask: I’ve always known you to be married since following your blog, but I can’t remember ever seeing any pictures of your husband. Why is that?

LT: It is not too personal of a question as I am an open book. I try not to inundate my blog with pictures of my husband out of respect for his privacy because he is not one who indulges in social media. However, I have posted several pictures of my husband, some with me and some alone, on my blog.

EC: Oh, lol. So that means I ain’t been looking then huh? LOL. My husband is actually like that too. He’s not on social media, not even Facebook. His patience is really low with that sort of thing so I definitely understand that. Now, I’ve always wondered about the conversations between interracial couples concerning the ongoing racial tensions surrounding blacks and whites. Are there any moments where you and your husband disagree with a subject that is race related? If so, how do you deal with that?

LT: As far as conversations on racial tension, we are more times than not of the same mindset. The disagreements that may happen occasionally would arise from my inability to turn off my emotions when they are high and his need to move on from the subject at hand. Like most men, he feels a need to fix it and move on where me being an emotional female, I want to continue the conversation longer than necessary.

EC: LOL, right? These emotions I’m telling you. Now, any time before 1967 your relationship would technically be illegal. How does that make you feel today with the knowledge that you’ve chosen to be with someone outside of your race?

LT: I am very fortunate to have been born after 1967 and am thankful to Mildred and Richard Loving for the courage they showed in getting this archaic law removed from the books. It is very disconcerting to think I would not have been able to marry my soul mate if we had been born of that generation.

EC: Very true. Lisa, I want to thank you again for being part of this series. For the outsiders looking in, the people who are struggling to accept Interracial Relationships, do you have any advice for them?

LT: Open your mind! When you least expect it you may be surprised to learn you have more in common with someone who does not look or act like you. Get out of your neighborhood and travel. It is the one way to remove stereotypes and fear of the unknown. I’ve heard people say they are not racist, but feel people should stick to their own kind. I have a few words for them; I am sticking to my own kind… Human Kind!

EC: I know that’s right, gone girl tell it! I absolutely love traveling yaaass. You’ve been married for quite some time, what is the one thing that has helped you to survive your Interracial Marriage?

LT: This is not beholden to just Interracial Relationships; all marriages require love and care as well as good communication. You have to really like the person you have chosen to spend your life with; not just love them, but like them. If you don’t respect your spouse it is a recipe for disaster.

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And that’s it family, Lisa W. Tetting on Interracial Marriages. As you can see from our Q&A, the purpose of this series is to shed light on the fact that mankind was made to be compatible with one another regardless of race. Thank you Lisa for joining me in this series. It was insightful, educational, and I had a great time!

Author Lisa W Tetting
Photo Credit: Copyright© Lisa W. Tetting. Used with permission.

Be sure to check out Lisa’s Social Networking sites and to purchase a copy of her book, “The Mistreatment of Zora Langston.” Stay tuned for another episode of Inside Interracial Marriages next week. You don’t want to miss our next interviewee!

Author Website
Blog
Facebook
Twitter: (@rebirthoflisa)
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You can purchase Lisa’s book on Amazon here.

 

Personify Your Posts

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I actually wrote this post last night, though I did not have the time to post it. As the night welcomed us into another day, the sun lowering itself deeper into the bowels of the skies and the moon resurrecting into a position perfect enough to shine its light on the Earth, I was encouraged to write a post for you to ponder. As the brisk winds happily leap at the opportunity to shine now that fall is upon us, ripping through the air and causing us to turn up the heat and crawl underneath the covers, I want to remind you to personify your posts. 

When I blog, I try to notice what attracts me to other blogs. I understand part of the process is not just to push the publish button but to notice my behavior as a reader as well so that it may assist me in my own blogging endeavors. For instance, I’ve heard somewhere (don’t ask me where) that if you pay attention to how you purchase books or even read them, this can help you to sell them. As a reader, you know what attracts people and what doesn’t. So one thing in particular that draws me to other blogs are the ones that are written by people who indeed appear to be just that—people. Bloggers whose content is not so author or blogger expert certified that they lose sight of that personal connection.  Sometimes we can get lost in all the technical glitches, all of the electrical waves that make up the World Wide Web and we forget that our readership is made up of flesh and blood. They are people with lives outside of the internet and have a wide range of experience and expertise.

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When you share your experiences combined with your characteristics and therefore a human persona, it makes others interested in what you have to say. Your point of view can make them laugh, cry, and maybe even irritated or angry but it’s yours to exemplify. Whatever the message, if it builds upon a human foundation, I think it can help us to become better bloggers because our audience can participate with us. They can grow with us and actually become part of the process. This I have decided to embark on myself actually, to try to engage my readers more so that they feel part of the blog which means taking part in my life not that of the computer. It does not require you get too personal, but it requires you to get personal enough. You don’t have to air your dirty laundry, but you do have to be able to relate to people on some level no matter what the goal is for your blog. It is not to compromise who you are as an individual, but to step outside of your comfort zone and actually write for a readership because there are actually people reading your blog.

So make us feel like you really are that crazy friend down the street, or that know-it-all around the corner. We don’t have to agree with your perspective, but do you have one? Do we know that underneath all those blog posts there’s someone over there named Bob. He has five children that run him crazy and a nagging wife. Or maybe you’re a 23 year old named Tanya with a college professor who spits when he talks. Yea, gross us out, make us laugh, cause a discussion that makes us tear at each others throats, (or hug each others throats) but keep it real. Keep it truth. Most of all, share some of your experiences while striving to reach your blogging goals; show us why we should care.

A personality has to do with individual differences among people in behavior patterns, cognition and emotion. So attempt not to simply push a book or an agenda. Even while spreading truth you must be a fisherman of men. Meaning that you must strive to reach people where they are. Sure you may be in a good place now but you wasn’t always here. Perhaps you can share with us how you got here. What made you want to blog? How is blogging effecting your writing style? Life? Are you married? Do you have children? What’s new in your life right now? I mean, besides your new book and the fact that your a totally awesome blogger? Personify your posts so that we get to know a little bit more about the human behind the keyboard.

The Written / Spoken Word

Man Reading Book and Sitting on Bookshelf in Library

OK, so you’re sitting down somewhere and you decide to read a book. Everything is going well and you’re sure that if given the chance you’ll win “The Best Reader Ever” award. You sit there and you think to yourself: “Wow, I am such a great reader!” All smiles as you professionally turn the pages. Then you decide, at a different time, to read a book. Only this time you decided to read it out loud instead of to yourself. It may even be the same book but somehow it doesn’t seem to be going as well as it did the first time. The same words that flowed smoothly in your head seem to have added more syllables. It’s to the point now that you stumble over words that were hard back in third grade. “Huh? Now I know I can read.” You say to yourself, you cannot understand it and for a second you even close the book and look at the cover. Yes, it’s the same book.

What is the correlation between reading in our heads (silently) and reading out loud? Does speaking guide us deeper into the conversation? What kind of power is there to a voice pumping out words? As I think about this, I wonder how this would sound if I was to record it for you. If instead of a blog post I sent a memo instead, do you think you would understand it better? After all, in this age of technology it is not always easy to discern the intent of text. I wonder if the tone of my voice, my mood, and my pronunciation would change the context in any way.

education-rap-microphoneIn my opinion, I think both the written and spoken word is important. And as I write, I do not believe every poem should be spoken. Some of the poems I write are structured in a way that must be read, while others are structured in a way that must be heard. In this way, I believe the difference in the way we react to the written and spoken word is in the differences in structure and style. For instance, in a letter I may write: “I ponder this as I prepare to release…” But if I was verbally speaking to you I would probably say something like: “I thought about this since I’m about to come out with…” It is not that I cannot write how I would speak; it’s just that we tend to speak in a less formal way when we’re talking than when we are writing. It is much more spontaneous, there is no preparation; we use the slang of our upbringing, and neglect complete sentences.

This is what I like most about the spoken word. There are so many additional elements available to help understand the meaning. You don’t just have words to work with, but there is also body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. A speaker is capable of both giving and receiving feedback instantly. Right away he or she is able to determine whether or not their way of dress, hair style, or accent influences the information in any way.

man-writing-booksOn the other hand when we write, it tends to present itself in a way far more grammatically correct (I use grammatically correct loosely and really for lack of a better word since my writing is not exactly grammatically correct in the English sense of the word but you get the point) than if we were to say it out loud; perhaps a symbolic way of representing things like pauses or tone of voice in speaking. While speaking is straight forward, writing must take on a form of speech in a way that demonstrates the moving of lips without physically seeing which is perhaps the implementation of a more proper usage. You can see my facial expression when I’m talking to you but to write it I must use words to create that image. That is what I love most about the written word, a portrait of something painted not by images but by words. A sound heard not because it is audible, but because it was etched into paper in a way that is loud.

LERONE_BENNETT,_WELL_KNOWN_BLACK_WRITER_WHO_IS_SENIOR_EDITOR_AT_EBONY_MAGAZINE,_IN_HIS_OFFICE_AT_JOHNSON_PUBLISHING..._-_NARA_-_556250Additionally, the most important, and also the most fun, thing about writing vs. speaking to me is also that it tends to live on longer. This can be a good and a bad thing. It can be a good thing because it gives us the chance to record beautiful words like poetry and stories to live on for as long as they need to. Our books can be passed down to our children and grandchildren like pictures. But it can be a bad thing because if you recorded something wrong or irrelevant that can also live on! I think this is one of the reasons writing has been associated with being a kind of skill. Perhaps it is because we learn to speak before we learn to write. We pick up the language of those around us and attach to them the context of our environment. Before you know it we’re “Mama” and “Dada” all over the place! Now, because we have understood this language and associated it with the people around, this does not mean we know at that moment how to write it which will come much later.

But today is a new day, and with technology the power of speech has taken on new meaning and it too is also considered a skill. Not only can you record permanent versions of speech such as poetry, memos, speeches, lessons, etch, but today writing is not alone but “Public Speaking” has also evolved into a skill.

Interracial Blog Feature- Interview Reminder for 10/8/2015

interracialThis is a reminder to tune into The PBS Blog every Thursday starting tomorrow 10/8/2015 until the end of this month for my Interracial Blog Feature. In this series, I will be interviewing four individuals who are in Interracial Relationships. Each week, they will be sharing with us their experiences beyond the colored line, the ups, downs, joys and triumphs. Each person provided a different perspective into the subject of race and its influence on relationships. Not only did it provide me with a history lesson but we all learned something in the process. They have sent me pictures of their beautiful families and handled each question with intellect, honesty, and fierceness! I love that.

The Interviews are scheduled to post every Thursday morning (starting tomorrow) until the end of the month at 8:00p CST. I can’t wait to witness your support of my friends and to show you what they had to offer.

Until tomorrow,

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– EC

Special Writer’s Quote Wednesday + #BeWoW Edition Part 2 – Finishing

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I have a treat for you! It’s been awhile since I’ve participated in #BeWoW and I am elated to discover that Ron has deemed BeWoW to be an acronym, not just for Be Wonderful on Wednesday, but also Be Writing on Wednesday! Whoop. He has also teamed up with my girl Colleen’s Writer’s Quote Wednesday. So, for this reason, today’s post is a two part Special where I combined both together. I hope my post is sufficient for both. Here’s a basic overview:

‘And that means “Be Writing on Wednesday to Be Wonderful on Wednesday and make the world a better place to visit.” You do this by sharing your inspirational and positive posts, books, poetry, even favorite get you movin’ music videos. You use #BeWoW as a hashtag on Twitter and as tag, if you like, on your post so people can find all of the offerings in the WP Reader if they want to go that route.’

That said, my positive blog share has to do with my finished book cover to the second edition of my novel.

In part two, I am revealing the cover to a novel I wrote three years ago. In 2012, I wrote my first novel, The Aftermath, a Sci-Fi Thriller. I have since taken it off market and have not added it to my website. I have taken it down because I am revising it and will be re-adding it to my collection under a new edition very soon. The cover design is by Clarrisa Yeo of Yocla Designs. Her work is amazing and I highly recommend her for your next project. (She is not accepting any new clients at this time but she has some great pre-mades ready to go) Below is the Book Cover Reveal along with some reviews I received from those who have read the book at its initial launching. (If you would like to receive a free PDF to review this book just send me an email. Please know you will receive an unedited copy as the revision is not finished). I am only revealing the cover at this time and not the entire layout, front and back. (Hey, gotta save something good for when it releases hee hee).

So, without further ado (please click on the image to see it bigger. The larger file wouldn’t show so I had to go medium) here’s what I’m writing this #BeWoW:

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Be sure to check out my Writer’s Quote Wednesday Post to see what this book is all about!

“I just finished the book. Excellent EC. When I got to Chapter 29-33, wow….I don’t want to spoil it for the others but you did a great job.”
– Annette, California

“This book holds great suspense! Love it! Excellent read, but this should be a movie! Highly recommended for all readers!”
– Vivian, Shreveport, LA

“Woooow! This book had me gripped from page one lol… I finished reading it a couple days ago… well done!! I thoroughly enjoyed it. …. stay obedient, encouraged, determined, motivated and inspired…”
– Abiyah, UK

“What a wonderful book. From page one I was hooked. Wonderfully written EC, It was an awesome book! For those that do not have it, it is a must read.”
– Constance, Fort Wayne, IN

“When is the movie coming out? The Aftermath is an action packed book, and I am just in the beginning.”
– Leahe, Detroit MI

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That’s it for my contribution to #BeWoW and Writer’s Quote Wednesday.

Special #Writer’s Quote Wednesday + #BeWoW Edition Part 1 – Finishing

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Welcome back to another edition of Writer’s Quote Wednesday as hosted by Colleen of Silver Threading. Today’s Writer’s Quote is part of a Special Edition where I will be combining my Writer’s Quote Wednesday Post with my #BeWoW Post (Be Writing on Wednesday / Be Wonderful on Wednesday) BUT they are coming in two separate posts. This post is Part 1. Part 2 (#BeWoW) will follow. Please bear with me.

My quote today is in honor of a project I’ve been working on and comes from The New Poetry Handbook:

WQW

I think we can relate this quote to not just poetry but writing in general. “When a man finishes a story, he shall bathe in the blank wake of his passion and be kissed by white paper”. Yes! Love how that sounds don’t you? LOL.

I love finishing a project and the feeling of accomplishment for having done so. Though I know there’s a lot of work yet to come, it is still a great feeling of positivity that I think resonates with all writers. The way that this woman is staring off into the light is how I often look at something finished; just stare at it just like that lol.

Three years ago I wrote a novel but have since taken it off market so that I can revise it for a 2nd Edition. I have even taken to adding excerpts to this blog every now and again. Today, I am excited to reveal the Book Blurb and the revised Book Cover. Its not ready yet but I am proud of the steps I have finished in the process.

In this post, I will reveal the book blurb. In the next post, I will reveal the book cover. Time permitting, I will have this Book ready to go back on the site and back into your hands by the end of the year. This means I have two major projects to end the year with. The 3rd installment of The Stella Trilogy (The Road To Freedom) and The Aftermath, Second Edition:

The Aftermath

The Aftermath surrounds the life of Doris Whitaker, a 14 year old girl living in Chicago thirty-nine years after America’s streets saw the worst destruction to ever come upon them. In 2016, streets were paved in chaos as people struggled to feed their families and to shelter their young. Bread lines stretched beyond imagination and violence ensued as people became more and more desperate to survive. Little did anyone stop to fathom that when the United States Financial System collapsed, so did the world.

In 2019, three years into America’s most destitute state, King Antiochus and his prophet Lord Pope Feinberg produced a technology that changed the way we lived. It produced financial stability, murder rates dropped significantly, and the world was at peace; or so, some of the world. “The Rebels” also known as “The Infected” is a group of people rebelling against the new system, rising up and refusing the technology. They discovered that it went against their belief systems, their morals and values and that it did not produce the kind of peace it promised. For these reasons, they turned their backs and became the world’s most hated terrorist. Antiochus had members of “The Rebel” Organization hunted down, locked away and eventually murdered. Afterward, he made it a law that anyone showing signs of rebellion were to be treated in mental institutions around the world at an attempt to cure them of the insurgence. Anyone counted with “The Infected” who could not be cured, were murdered in a legal ceremony to purge the evil from the midst of man.

It is now 2055, and this story takes place when troubled Doris is the daughter of wealthy psychiatrist John Whitaker and his wife Cynthia. The family live in a technologically advanced world where people take trips to the past and no one is ever in need. The world is finally at peace and murder rates are at zero. But when Doris and her friends get lost in Jackson Park where one of the deadliest battles took place, the Government questions the Whitaker Family’s ties to The Infected. Hidden secrets are revealed, personal ties are broken and one day Doris never comes home from school.

Discover what happens next in The Aftermath.

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And that’s it for this weeks Special Edition of Writer’s Quote Wednesday. Be sure to check out my next post for the Book Cover Reveal to this blurb in a Special Edition of #BeWoW.