There are headstones
with the names of highly gifted people
who died with those gifts still inside them.
Brilliant people who passed
but never passed that intellect on
for anyone else’s benefit.
They died smart.
Highly passionate people
who never dared to love fully,
and wealthy people who are so poor,
all they have is money.
I get emotional when I remember the faces of the children I used to teach, who are now young adults. Their formerly round and babyish faces have thinned out to resemble those of young adults. They provide concrete evidence of the passage of time. My nieces, nephews, and students are now in college, studying a trade, dating, and even starting families.
It serves as a sobering and bittersweet reminder of how fleeting life is. How quickly the years fly by. I see their bodies as proof and imagine all the years tucked inside them. I cry happy and sorrowful tears as I watch them grow. I weep both for the lovely persons they are, and for the perilous and cruel world they must endure as they grow up.
I will be thirty-six next month, and after two ectopic pregnancies, a miscarriage, and the removal of my right Fallopian tube, I may not have any children of my own. I have come to both accept and mourn this. I experience thanksgiving and contentment for my life and everything I’ve accomplished, with no sense of the need for anything more. And also a sense of loss for what never was and possibly, could never be.
But then, I look out into the world, see the children wilding in downtown Chicago (I find it interesting the usage of this term by the media, “wilding.” It is the same term used against the five young black boys on this day in 1989 accused and charged with raping the white woman jogger in New York’s Central Park), and see the protests over the shooting of Ralph Yarl, who though he lives, has become yet another hashtag.
And I ask myself, which is better, giving birth to a son or watching that son heal in the hospital after being shot in the head for ringing the wrong doorbell?
Which is better, knowing what it’s like to give birth or knowing what it’s like to mourn the death of a child?
And I dance between these sentiments as I look into the faces of these little ones. I remember them as children, full of innocence, and now see them as young adults, wide-eyed and excited to live in a cruel world.
I can tell right away when a book is self-published by a writer who does not read (or does not do it often enough).
No shade to audiobooks, but when I say reading is how we study how to write, I mean reading physical books.
And when I say study, I mean don’t just read the book, but also:
Consider picking up a copy of a physical book at least once a month and reading it through till the end. It will help you to become a better writer.
And if you don’t have time to read at least one book a month, you have no business writing books in the first place.
And don’t try and fake it because your writing will give you away!
If reading is how we study how to write, our writing also displays how much or little we read.
I’ve been vending at events since 2018 when the owner of A Cappella Books refused to stock my self-published book and instead told me to get my name out there. He explained how hard it would be for me to sell my book in-store when no one knew who I was.
I wasn’t offended but encouraged, and I have since attended many events as a vendor to put myself out there. From his advice, I have also since been stocked in four stores in the Georgia area (Marietta, Morrow, Atlanta).
There is a message in this to revisit later, but for now, let’s talk about author vending.
For independent authors, taking part in an event as a vendor can be lucrative (and I don’t just mean this financially). Utilizing the platform of another person will help you promote your books and business to a wider audience.
However, if we are not careful, it can also be an overly expensive and frustrating experience.
In this series, I share some of my experiences as an author vendor and some things to watch out for. In part one, I want to talk about the importance of the audience.
Author vending is not just about making money. It is also an opportunity to get in the room and build with others of like mind. But the ability to sell your books or services is still crucial.
You will have a harder time selling books if the event has little to nothing to do with books or your industry.
If you are vending at a conference or organization that is not conducive to people being able to walk around and network, this can also hinder you from making sales.
For example, in 2019, I attended MogulCon as a vendor. The event was nice but not a good place for author vendors. The tables were small, and the space was narrow. It was fitting for a business-type conference but not for my books, author swag, and large banner.
MogulCon was okay, but from an author vending perspective, it was a waste of money.
If I had known, I could have made it work by leaving the banner at home and bringing a briefcase instead.
When deciding to vend, understand what kind of event it is and the audience you will serve. Also, consider what kind of crowd you are looking at. You want to make sure there are enough people to network with and possibly make some money (or at least make your vending fee back.) And because the organization will likely not tell you your business isn’t a good fit, this is homework you will have to do yourself.
Crowd size is included in this. Does the event even have enough attendees for you to make a pitch, or is the host merely looking to maximize their profit from the few vendors they are able to bring in?
This is good practice for speaking engagements as well. Once, I was asked to speak at an event and prepared what I would say. But when I showed up, there were a lot of children. The host had not mentioned it was family-themed, and I had not intended to speak to kids. It could have been better organized, but I could have also done my homework on the host.
It depends on what your goal is for attending said event, but I believe that book festivals and conferences—that focus on books and literature—are the best because you won’t have to compete with the lady over there selling shea butter.
You can also target events that center around the theme of your book. Although many businesses were vending at the poetry life fest, it was appropriate for me to go because I write poetry. And to be true to my brand, I exclusively highlighted my poetry books. I only brought the books that were on topic.
Nowadays, there are a lot of requests for vendors because the income from the vending fee helps the organization pay for other expenses. When signing up, be strategic and intentional about who you work with.
It’s about being discerning and allowing that spiritual compass to lead you to the places you are ordained to be.
In part two, we’ll discuss the financial side of author vending and how to decide whether it’s worthwhile because the fees can be very expensive.
I logged into my WordPress dashboard this morning, and my last 5-6 posts were gone, including paid book reviews.
Can you hear my heart breaking?
Thankfully, after about thirty minutes, they showed up!
Too bad I had already deleted the tweets to what I thought were now dead links. Way to go, Yecheilyah.
A glitch, maybe, but the scare was real!
Chile, I almost cried.
Then I put my big girl panties on and understood today’s message.
Make sure your photographs, graphics, videos, and articles are stored in a folder on your computer or on a USB drive. Before composing your posts in WordPress, it’s simpler to write them in a Word document (or whichever program you prefer) and save them to your computer.
I have never been a fan of putting all my eggs in one basket, and this experience reemphasized the importance. I am all for monogamy, but cheating on your other social media profiles with a backup plan is okay, lol.
It is not a smart idea to rely only on one platform, whether we’re talking about Instagram bugs or if US companies and content creators will no longer be able to use TiKTok. (Are you following the case with them? Back those videos up!)
Keep your options open and stay as informed of all the developments as you can. Even if we disagree with AI, for instance, it would be a bad idea to ignore how it is affecting the book publishing industry and how authors and publishers create and distribute their works.
If these social media apps change their policies, having an email list can let you stay in touch with your customers, business partners, and author friends. Twitter and Instagram have already started using paid verified badges. Even further, Twitter claims that those who earned their blue checks will soon have to pay to keep them.
It is not farfetched to say that we might one day have to pay to use these apps. If that’s not your flavor, you will want to maintain contact with your people somehow.
Blogs are great alternatives to email lists since subscribing to someone’s blog mean you get an email for every update anyway.
If you simply use your blog, however, always refer back to point one and backup your blog content.
After all, we don’t own WordPress either.
If you only want updates on poetry contests, be sure to check poetry contest updates only when you get to the form!
I am just getting around to reading Tabitha Brown’s Feeding the Soul, and it is doing just that for me this afternoon.
Lately, I have realized I don’t have much help with all I have going on. People think I have this great big team behind me. Nope. Most of the things I do, I do alone.
This is not a complaint but an assessment of the truth: I need more help but can’t afford to outsource everything.
And if I am being completely honest, I do not always know how to articulate what I need.
This realization had me feeling a bit discouraged.
Queue Tabitha, who may as well be sitting in this office with me. Let’s imagine she’s sitting in the corner chair across from my desk. She’s wearing that pretty blouse from the front cover, with the big Afro and a smile brighter than the sun. She sees my shoulders slump.
T: “Well hello there, you alright?”
E: “Yea, I’m okay,” I respond mentally.
T: “Lean in, baby. Are you leaning?”*
E: (Laughs) “Yes.”
T: “I can sense you not alright, and that’s okay cause that’s your business. But listen real quick, everyone can’t go.”
E: “Huh?”
T: “I said everyone can’t go.”
E: “Okayyy.”
T: “Once you understand that there are some things you’re going to have to do on your own, make peace with that. Don’t allow it to rip you up inside.”*
E: “Aww, thank you. I really needed to hear that!”
T: “Very good. Because if you sit around waiting on somebody to save you, help you, partner with you, walk with you, or hold your hand, you just might miss the blessing that could have only come by the changes and chances that you took while leaping into your destiny.”*
*From Feeding the Soul (Because It’s My Business): Finding Our Way to Joy, Love, and Freedom by Tabitha Brown, page 37.
I love that this advice forces us to reconsider our previous assumptions. Typically, when we hear “everybody can’t go with you,” we interpret this to mean everyone can’t level up with us.
That may be our ego talking. “Everybody can’t go where I’m going.” Just loud and wrong.
Consider a different point of view: Everybody can’t go can also mean everybody can’t go with you to experience the challenges that come with your calling. Everybody isn’t meant to endure the trials you are taking on because they have a different purpose.
Moral.
Some things are meant for you to complete on your own in order to develop and strengthen something inside of you. Your husband/wife, children, friends, or relatives are unrelated to this. Future you will need to have the strength to handle whatever it is you are intended to do. Yet in order for that to happen, you need to enhance this version of yourself for that task.
Today’s Lesson: This is your soulwork, and no one else’s. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable reality that everyone can’t go.
Now, pardon me while I get back to enjoying my rest day. Did this advice make you feel better too? Very good!
I am proud of myself for making it through this week. Since returning from Chicago, I have felt jet lagged because of the time change and have experienced some pain.
For those who don’t know, I live with a steel plate in my right thigh from being hit by a car when I was ten. Occasionally, it causes pain with the weather changes. No worries. It’s not as intense as it used to be. At least now I can predict when it will rain—little ole me, a superhero this whole time.
But as much as I wanted to stay in bed all yesterday, I got my butt up, put something on my stomach, and took my vitamins. I didn’t have it to do my walk so I finished reading a book.
Not only did I finish the book, but I wrote and drafted the review that I am scheduling for next week. (Ya’ll are gonna like this one!)
Next, I edited a video of a podcast I did weeks ago and posted a reel to one of my Instagram pages. I also drafted a post for my second page and drafted this blog post.
After responding to some emails and checking on some clients I closed my laptop, showered, and snuggled up with hubby for a movie.
Just because you didn’t do everything on your to-do list or work yourself into an early grave does not mean you are not being productive. All those little things add up.
I fully intended on taking the day off. Instead, I just took baby steps.
Because baby steps still move us forward.
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