Stop Being So Reactionary

From the EC Made Up Dictionary  –

Definition – a. A person who reacts to a situation or stresses by changing their thoughts, life, or persona to fit someone else’s reaction to that situation. b. To cater ones thought processes to the reactions of another c. Insecure in ones own views of self and dependent on the reactions of others for validation

Stop being so reactionary, or concerned about making decisions that will reflect the people around you if those people are not the right kind of people. Cut off those who are not lifting you up, inspiring you to be better, or encouraging you. Most people are actually more reactionary (per my definition) than they’d be willing to admit. This means they concern themselves with whether or not this decision will be for or against the status quo. Many of us are not risk takers because we’re afraid to fail. The person, however, who falls down seven times and stands up eight is stronger and a lot wiser than the person who never fell. You don’t have to concern yourself with how someone is going to receive or perceive you all the time. Stop being so dependent on how others feel about you to determine how you feel about yourself.

Book Review Policy Changes

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I will be making changes to the review policy this fall. Due to time constraints, I will be charging a small readership fee in exchange for honest reviews. Don’t worry, it’s unbelievably cheap. This change will take place on Monday, October 3, 2016. To assist in a smooth transition, I am opening up registration for those who want to be placed on my readers list. Registration is free and secures your spot once the new policy takes place. I am offering a discounted readers fee for the first 5 authors to sign up. Registration begins August 8, 2016. I will pencil you into the calendar and you pay nothing until your service begins.

Indie Publishing is a hard and long journey. In order for Self-Publishers to make even the tiniest bit of noise will require at minimum 5 reviews. Preferably, written by 5 different people, unrelated to the author and an average Amazon rating of 3.5. Reviews help a book to start conversations, helps a books Amazon ranking and dramatically boost book sales.

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Review of Stella Book #3 By Mandy Peterson

I will provide an honest, professionally written critique of your book and a review that will be posted across social media to help you as an author. I treat my author friends how I want to be treated and will never insult, degrade, or embarrass my authors. My reviews are free in exchange for an e-copy (Kindle, PDF) or paperback of your book. However, due to time constraints, as stated I will begin charging a small readership fee for the reviews. This fee is to cover the time it takes to sit and read through the book (which takes a lot of time). Please visit my website to learn more (Look under the “Book Review Policy” page) Otherwise, reviews are still free (no fee) up until October. Send me an email if you’re an author looking for more reviews. I’ll be happy to do what I can to help.

  • An official PDF e-copy of the review for your records

  • Author will receive 350 – 750 words (3 – 5 paragraphs) of a detailed, honest, and quality review
  • Review posted on high traffic website and blog
  • Featured book of the month on blog and newsletters
  • Review linked to Amazon and Goodreads account
  • All reviews feature link to author website and social media accounts
  • Post review on all social media
  • Life time warranty. I support you forever.

FYI: In this digital age so many companies, big and small, are fleecing Self-Publishers by promising positive reviews in exchange for hundreds, sometimes thousands, of dollars. (I just read something on LinkedIn earlier that said a company was charging a $250 fee for reviews). That said, for those of you who know me, you know that I am loyal and will never take advantage of new authors entering this field. I know how hard it is because I’m grinding right here with you. My fee is very affordable and is only to cover time.

Writing Powerful Scenes: Why Choosing The Right Setting Is So Important

I really enjoyed reading this. Setting is something we don’t hear a lot about (not like say plot). I especially enjoyed the part about making the emotional connection between the setting and character.

How I Stay Positive – The Four Agreements

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•Be impeccable with your word.
• Don’t take anything personally.
• Don’t make assumptions.
• Always do your best.

I try to stay true to these steps and in return they help me to maintain peace and positivity in my life.

Be impeccable with your word

We’ve all heard it before: “All a man has is his word”. This is the truest thing ever spoken. It doesn’t matter if that man is poor, if he is rich, if he has a successful career, etc. What sets him apart from the other is his speech. The things he says, how he says them and why. A good man or a good woman can always be dependable when it comes to their words. They are not gossipers, they are not slanderers, and they are not backbiters or murderers of the tongue. They make sure that the words they speak will not bring about negativity and strife either to themselves or others. Be impeccable with your word. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Flattery will get you nowhere. Let your actions speak.

To be impeccable with your word means to:

• Speak with integrity
• Say only what you mean
• Avoid using words to speak against yourself
• Avoid using words to speak against others
• Use the power of your word for truth and encouragement

2. Don’t take Anything Personally

This was a big one for me and I do believe for most people. The origin of strife and drama is usually because people choose to take things that other’s say way too personal. In return, they react (either by word or deed) in a defensive way. We forget that others have opinions and that these opinions are based on their own experiences and perspective. This means their words are a reflection of them NOT YOU. However, this is rarely if ever understood and we allow negativity to come into our space because we are so caught up in ourselves. We think that the things people say and do is always about us. Even when those things are about us, we are so quick to give up our power. But when we avoid taking stuff personally, we take away the power that others try to have over us and can instead focus on encouragement and positivity for ourselves and others.

Here are some techniques to help:

• Use “I” statements.
• Don’t put yourself down.
• Don’t use excuses or blame others.
• Offer any possible alternatives.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

This one is just as big as the last one: Don’t Make Assumptions! The problem that leads us here is usually our own convictions. We have issues (as we all have) and sometimes someone gives a message, or comment, or opinion that exposes these issues. The people or person exposing these issues are not intentionally targeting a specific person or group, they are simply stating truths. However, there is almost always someone who will be convicted by such truths and in turn become offended. As a result, because they cannot be sure if such a thing is targeted toward them specifically, they create the assumption that it’s just them and the other person in the world and the other person had so much time on their hands that they decided to speak negatively about them. The product of an assumption is always because someone took something personally or did not verify their sources. To avoid making assumptions, it is always best to gather all of the facts since many assumptions are made because people don’t ask for clarification. I chose to rid assumptions from my life by communicating as much as possible as not to create drama, gossip, and confusion < all of which are the result of an assumption.

4. Always Do Your Best

Stay away from the bare minimum and strive for excellence. Deny yourself the satisfaction of being lazy; instead, approach every project with the same level of professionalism despite the reward. The key to this agreement is to recognize when you are doing your best and accept those results despite the quality. Too often we set our goals by what other people deem important instead of what we know to be important. We whine and we complain that our results are not their results and this is a recipe for disaster and robs you of the positive in your life. As long as you look for confirmation from others you will always be second best. Instead, look to do things differently and to the best of your ability. Create a uniqueness that is exclusive to you and be good at it. This is what draws people into you, whether it is your writing or your blog. Always do the best you can and notice those small progressions in your life. To focus on being positive, encouraging and doing your best, stop focusing on the problem and work toward a solution. Learning comes by trial and error, so do not expect everything to succeed. Sometimes you’ll have to learn by doing it wrong. As such, you will begin to see why it did not succeed and try again the next time. Only this time you are so much more knowledgeable and wise about that thing. You did not focus on the act of failing, you focused on what you can do to succeed. Positive people always see the good in things because they focus on the good.

Everything Must Move – What Watching Movies Taught Me About Writing

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This post was conceived while watching one of my favorite movies. Thus, as usual, it is based on my personal experience. So anyway, to the point…

I found myself paying attention to what was going on in the background of this particular scene in this movie instead of what the leading characters were doing. To better understand this, I challenge you to do the same. Choose one of your favorite movies, what’s going on in the backdrop? An old man is laughing with his wife. The waiter is walking away from a table, she looks down at the notepad before walking away. Behind her, the bartender throws a bottle into the air before catching it with his other hand and pouring the liquor into the long line of glasses in front of him. The waiter walks up to the bar, picks up two of the many glasses and walks them over to her table. The old man and his wife smile while nodding thank you.

What just happened? What happened is that there’s an entire event taking place in the backdrop of what’s happening in the forefront. Though not the center of attention, everyone in the scene moves. Though not the primary characters, everyone in the scene is doing something.

While working on my next project, I’ve found it helpful to make sure  that everyone in the scene from the smallest to the greatest has something to do, or has a goal they want to achieve (despite how small). There shouldn’t be any stick men and women. If we are at dinner, the people behind Nora’s table should be laughing or talking. Not so that it’s overwhelming, she is the leading lady after all, but they shouldn’t just be sitting there. There should be movement. For instance, in A Beautiful Mind, John Nash sits on a bench in front of the University. With him is his old roommate and together they sit there and talk. As they are speaking, there are people walking by, students, professors, and faculty members. And as the camera zooms in and pans around, we notice the people  are looking at John oddly.

For those of you who’ve seen the movie or who are familiar with the man John (this movie is based on a true story, Nash just passed recently matter of fact) you know that John Nash suffered from a severe case of schizophrenia. His college friend does not really exist. From the first time viewer’s perspective, John is just sitting there talking to an old friend. But if you notice the people in the backdrop, they are not just walking by, they are walking by and staring.  Why? You assume its because John has always been a little, well, off kilter. Weird. Odd. By the end of the movie however, you realize that the people are staring because John is sitting on a bench  talking to himself. They are staring because there is really no one there. Though not the center of attention, even these people have a purpose for being. In this case, they are hints that help lead up to the end of the movie so that it all makes sense.

I’m not saying writing fiction and writing a movie script is the same thing because its not. What I am saying is that everything around us can be useful to help us in our writing. Who says we can’t use non-conventional means to build on creativity? After all, that’s what creativity is anyway, inventing new ways to do things.

Since working on The Renaissance (my 2017 novel project) I’ve been using this technique (making sure everyone in the scene has a purpose) and its really been helping in my development of the story. It helps me to ensure that everything is accounted for and that there are no loose ends. From the protagonist, to the lady swatting at a fly standing behind her, everyone has a goal or a reason for being. Everyone and everything moves.

Spirit Words

 

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Stretch your thoughts forward with much care. Hold them in your mind with the fragility of a newborn’s bones and then unfold them from your tongue like ancient scrolls . Let them drip oxygen on the page so that you leave the post just as pure as it was before your spirit left it’s imprint in our souls. Let your words stain peace that I may inhale joy that cuts through bone and marrow. For sticks and stones may break bones but deadly is the venom of a tasteless word. How dull is the stare of a ball pointed pen bleeding empty? Who knew words were spiritual; the invisible breath of life to nostril. There is nothing more powerful than a righteous tone with angels wings let loose in its time. Pen to paper or voice to air. Choose your spirit words carefully. It wouldn’t make sense leaving trails of bodies hanging on top blog post walls.

Writer’s Quote Wednesday on a Thursday – Happiness

I think this is the first time I’ve done this on a Thursday! It doesn’t look as good as the Wednesday quote on a Wednesday but hey, nonetheless welcome back to another Writers Quote Wednesday! As hosted by Colleen of Silver Threading, co-hosted by Ronovan of Ronovan Writes.

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I really want another dog. But that’s not why you’re here. To the quote.

This weeks theme is: Happiness:

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I don’t know who said it, but this point is so timely. Its hard to be positive when everything is going wrong but thats when we have to be the most strong. Sometimes you just gotta find the light, even when its dark. When we fall or make mistakes its hard to smile and be happy but if you’re reading this at least you woke up this morning; lots of people didn’t. So, even when the sun sets, the moon is still there. Sometimes you just have to find that source of light.