Tag: relationships

Interracial Blog Feature Update: Schedules

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OK, whew. So, I still have minor touch ups to do but I finally have the interviews together and have decided on dates for this series. I am so excited about those who volunteered to participate; your answers blew me away! Ya’ll are not ready for what these wonderful ladies have to tell.

I like to keep things fresh and exciting so I have decided not to post an interview every day. But this feature will run instead once a week (Thursday) for the last four weeks of October:

October 8th – Misty Thomas
October 15th – Lisa W. Tetting
October 22nd – Allison Wells
October 29th – Wrap Up and Surprise
Post Time: 8:00a CST

file(7)Because of the nature of this series, it was easy to pre-judge my intentions. However, those who participated didn’t do that and instead showed great respect for this project and we all learned something in the process. For this reason, I have a great surprise for them at the conclusion of this series. That’s right; you have to wait allll the way until the 29th of next month, but I will say that it is worth the wait. It will be my token of appreciation for sharing a part of yourself with me because you didn’t have to do it.

file(8)    Until next time. Yall be great.

We Trust

Born into the ticking clock of innocence
a hurrying forth of second hands
to match the inhale and exhale of lung
we sing truth against the fragile voice of newness
and taste of the refreshing sound of belief
Trust
it is the automatic gift life births us with
against the cold relentless winds of the skies
of experience
of living
we lose sight of this gift like we age
the only circumstance in which increasing numbers
is representative of loss
a slippery lyric of experience snatching away
our inherent decision to bend
a revelation sung to the instrumentals
of life
not as gentle
not as soft
not as giving as naiveté in childhood
we learn not the automatic taste
of confidence
but the wisdom of serpents
to discern the shady tongues
the coated lips of deceit
against the cold relentless winds of life
of experience
that teaches
that we cannot trust every breathing entity
for these winds are not so trustworthy any longer
for they have grown old
and have known lies
these lungs do not sing the song of genuine
for that we trust now like serpents
and wrap ourselves
inside the delicateness of the dove

Interracial Blog Feature – Interviews This Fall

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In 1968, a year after the release of the film Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, about a black man who wanted to marry a white woman, a Poll revealed that just 20 percent of Americans thought it was OK for a white person to marry a black person. According to a recent 2011 Gallup Poll, 96 percent of African-Americans and 84 percent of whites accept the idea. Today, as of 2015, the subject of Interracial Relationships is still Taboo.

Are you in an Interracial Relationship? Would you mind being interviewed for a chance to share your story? You never know who you may touch with your experience. Join me in my Interracial Blog Feature Coming this Fall.

Email me @: ahouseofpoetry@gmail.com if you’re interested. I would love to have you.

Movie Night Friday – Brown Sugar

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Yall know what this is, we’ve reached another Friday where I present some of my favorite movies and why I love them. Now, since I love Friday’s, today’s theme is Love and what better way to celebrate love than with a little brown sugar?

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This is one of my most favorite movies. From the beginning until the end I was hooked. One reason is because the narration is so poetic. Sidney (Sanaa Lathan) is using her love for Hip Hop as a metaphor for her love for Dre  (Taye Diggs), even though she would probably initially disagree with me. You see, Sidney’s got issues confessing her heart.

 

brown-sugar6A Coming of Age Love Story, the spark was kindled between Sidney and Dre in the Bronx, on the corner of a New York Street corner, where together they witnessed the birth of hip hop. As time goes on music would bind them into a friendship that picks up some 15 years later. We see that Sidney is the successful editor of XXL magazine, a music critic, and Dre’s a successful music executive. As you can see, their love for music has driven them into their respective careers, but that’s not all. Their love for music has also driven them in love….with each other.

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But, Dre has just proposed to this new honey, the beloved brown sugar of his dreams, sending Sidney into a wave of emotions. Though she has feelings toward Dre they have never actually been in a relationship. However, this new love in his life causes Sidney to reexamine her heart. Stubborn that she is, Sidney gets romantically involved with a professional basketball player and it seems the prospect of a little brown sugar with Dre is obsolete.

Will Sidney and Dre ever cross the line between friendship and romance? It is up to the music to teach them.

Trailer:

Funny Movie Mistakes

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During the scene where Sidney and Dre are walking through The Mall in Central Park, you can hear someone giving set directions.

Is this your favorite movie? Why do you love it?

Men Give More

…in relationships.

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I saw this post on Facebook made by a sister who made a very valid point. While I cannot remember her entire statement, in summary, what she said was that men are more accepting of women when it comes to relationships. I agree with that statement. I have seen it happen over and over again even within my own past. I have a cousin, for example, who has always, despite having children, been capable of having a man by her side. Not because she’s the best person ever, but because men are usually more loving than women. Meaning, a man is willing to accept a woman with all of her flaws. He is willing to accept that she has six children and no job. He does not mind providing for her and being there for her. A man would marry a woman the world thinks is fat or ugly. Men do this because men tend to give more than we do.

Women love of course, but we are also much more judgmental and rejecting. For most women, if a man can’t provide financially he is nothing. If he is not good looking,  he is nothing. If he is not sexually adequate, again, he is nothing. You see, men, contrary to popular belief, are not just this hard core structure of a person. But real men have deep emotional feelings, they do cry and they do feel pain. It is possible that a man who has been hurt by a woman he truly loves will never come back from that. Society says that this man is weak but this couldn’t be any further from the truth. It’s not that men who show their emotions are weak, it’s that men are just more loving. As a woman, I am not saying we do not love or have the same deep feelings since we tend to be extremely emotional, but what I am saying is that it is true that men tend to give more in relationships than women.There’s a saying that rings true:  “You ain’t a Queen until you’re married to a King”, but some women would rather rule alone than to admit it.

Being of Service

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I’m no expert, but I do know that writing is a unique career. It’s the same as other businesses, and yet it is not the same. It requires the same level of dedication, professionalism, and hard work. However, it is also a lot different than lets say, selling your neighbor a bar of soap.

Reading takes a lot of time. It is on a level that is a lot more personal. Readers actually get very sensitive when it comes to buying a book that sucked than buying a bar of soap that also sucks. People are also easily bored these days, so as authors we have to constantly keep our ears to the ground, discovering what’s trending and what’s throwback. It is for this reason that readers tend to find an author they love and stick to him or her. If you’re that author, great, but the story does not always end this way. As I thought about this, I started to really think, not about selling books, but being of service. As I babysat these thoughts, I ran across some great advice from one of my subscription blogs:

“Don’t SELL to your readers, SERVE them. With the changing dynamic between readers and writers, authors need to listen, gather knowledge about readers, foster communications, collaborate, and build long-term relationships.”

We have to be realistic. Authors are constantly told not to sell. But full time authors, those who don’t hold secondary positions elsewhere or receive money from additional sources, have bills to pay, food to put on the table, and needs that require monetary investment. So we can’t just tell writers that they should not sell their books no more than we can tell bloggers not to get excited over new readers. Despite how we gloss it up, the reality is that an author’s end goal is to sell you this book. But here is where being of service comes in:

For me personally, anything that I bring into my space should teach me something. This just means it should advance me in some way. Will it make me laugh? Cry? Think? Discover? Will it inform me? Teach me? Show me? What does this book, more than any other book, do for me? This is the same way that I look at Blogging. I am more than likely to bond with blogs that have something to offer.

Now, back to soap:

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When you’re selling soap, I want to know that it’s because the benefits of this particular soap outweigh Irish Springs; not just because you’re trying to make a quick buck. If you can convince me that your product is of some significance to my life and you can back this up, then I will be more than happy to become a dedicated supporter. I have enough sense to know that you have bills to pay, but I also see that your purpose is bigger than dead presidents on paper.  Why does this matter to authors?

Because people want to matter.

I believe this is true in everything that we do, and not just writing. But specifically, the first clue to readers that they matter, is the amount of hard work we put into the end product. Our professionalism, or lack thereof, speaks volumes far before these books hit the shelves. So I just want to encourage my writers out there to do the best you can, because it doesn’t get any better than your best. And I believe this is the difference between selling a product and being of service to the people. Readers (and bloggers) want to know that they are getting something out of the process. So I wouldn’t say don’t sell to your readers, instead I would just say to be of service to them.