Breaking From Tradition Can Be a Good Thing

My big brother Ray, nieces Gigi, Jamie, Brook, and Me

Some families keep their history alive around picnic tables, their roots watered each summer by laughter, shared meals, and stories that stretch back generations.

Mine did not.

On my mother’s side, there were no great migrations back home for a weekend, no sea of matching shirts declaring our kinship, no annual roll call of who had been born, married, or passed on.

I didn’t grow up with the smell of charcoal and cousins’ laughter drifting across a summer lawn, the kind of memory stitched into photo albums and passed down like a family recipe. Family reunions simply weren’t our thing. There were no matching T-shirts, no group photos under a banner.

Cousin Laura, Pam, and Me sitting in the back of this truck like some thugs, lol

The closest I came to that sense of gathering was at Chicago block parties. We’d shut down the street, our banquet hall, line the sidewalks with tables and sizzling grills, and open the fire hydrant so the water arched into the air like a silver ribbon. Kids ran barefoot through a cracked-open hydrant, laughing because this time, no one called the police.

Music pulsed from speakers, and for one day, neighbors felt like cousins, and the whole block became family.

But it wasn’t our family.

Six years ago, this ended with our generation.

Jeremiah in the background (Nephew), Big Sissy Pamela, and Lil Cuzzo Angela

What began as a simple backyard barbecue has grown, year after year, into something bigger that we can finally call by its true name: a Family Reunion.

It’s a strange and humbling thing to realize we’re the aunts and unks now—the ones setting the tone, carrying the stories, and shaping the memories for our children.

We’ve rewritten the narrative we inherited.

Many of us are building marriages we’re proud of, raising children under our own roofs, and pursuing careers that light us up. We are not lost to the streets, not numbed by addiction, not absent from the lives we brought into this world.

Aunt Barbara, Lil Reg, and his daughters, Gigi and Brooklyn

Instead, we have passports now. We take our children to see oceans they’ve never touched, mountains they’ve never climbed, cities that speak in languages they’ve never heard. We give them richer experiences, not just with our words but with our lives.

Sometimes, breaking from tradition can be a good thing!

My crazy sisters and me: Yecheilyah, Tracey, Pam, and photo bombed by her daughter, Jamie.

If We Were Having Coffee Right Now

Please, come in!

I know it’s been a while since we last spoke. Here, let me get your coat.

Shake the chill from your bones and leave the weight of the world at the door.

Speaking of the door, there is a shoe rack next to you. Go ahead and remove your shoes. I have some footies you can slip into. I hope you like the color black.

I took the liberty of roasting the coffee beans with a whisper of cinnamon and French Vanilla cream. I hope that’s okay.

Sit. Let the loveseat cradle you. Relax yourself. You are home. I’ll open the curtains so the light can spill in on us.

Here’s your coffee. Let your hands wrap around the warmth of the mug, and the heat seep into your skin like an unspoken promise—exhale as long as you need.

The world outside can wait. Here, in this quiet space, there is no rush, no burden too heavy, only the sound of our voices, the comfort of shared silence, and the rich laughter of coffee poured into porcelain.

Let’s drink deep and savor the moment—just you, just me, just the steady rhythm of being.

Now that you have your mug and are snug like a bug in a rug, here’s what I’ve been up to lately…

Why Not Joy?

Spent time with these cuties this weekend!


Why write poems about joy in such a time as this?

This has been a constant question in the back of my mind. It is not something anyone has asked of me personally, but something that the subconscious, always overthinking part of my brain asks when it wishes to second-guess itself. And, in the rebuke of these thoughts, I answer:

“Why not joy?”

I do not mean always being happy when discussing cultivating a spirit of joy. No one is always joyful in the basic sense of the word. I do not mean toxic positivity or whatever that’s supposed to mean.

In the same way that we embrace anger, grief, and frustration (which are normal and have their place), we can also embrace more joy and gratitude. If sadness and depression suck our bones dry and drain our life force, then joy and gratitude can be a powerful life-saving nourishment.

As I’ve said in Black Joy: “Nobody talks about society’s addiction to Black trauma / how much more profitable it is to talk about pain than poems/depression than joy.”

This constant cycle of death and war is draining to the soul and rotten to the bones. Where do we find or hold onto our sanity without joy? Have we forgotten that it has always been here with us? If enslaved people found joy, why not us? Or do we believe we are that special of a generation that we can survive without it?

In “The Role of Joy and Imagination in a Revolution,” author Marii Herlinger writes: “White supremacy culture values objectivity, overworking, and neglecting self-care — joy interrupts that. White supremacy culture teaches us to be individualistic, self-serving, and distrustful of each other — love interrupts that. Therefore, joy, imagination and love are revolutionary tools which actively defy capitalism and white supremacy.”

Sounds like a page out of Tricia Hersey’s book!

Speaking of Hersey, in the same way that resting more does not make one lazy, nor is it the same thing as being idle (you can be well-rested and still do the work), more joy does not make one blind to the atrocities of the world. On the contrary, it can help one to see things more clearly by stepping outside of the chaos. As Jaiya John puts it, “It can be a revolutionary act of love for yourself and others to not let yourself be sped up by the pace of a toxic, anxious, frantic, desperate, traumatized culture. Stay slow, my friend. Everything beautiful in you is gestating.”

This year, our poetry contest theme is joy, so I want to give you more to consider as you pen your entry!

The Latin word for Joy is gaudium, meaning to rejoice. Think of a time when you found joy in the unexpected. How did that make you feel? In what ways did you rejoice?

I cannot wait to read/hear your masterpiece!

We accept entries from October 21st through December 1st!

PS. I just found out this blog has been listed among Feedspot’s 30 Best Self-Help Book Blogs and Websites of 2024! Thank ya’ll for rocking with me!

Angels in Black Skin

Listen, yesterday started out annoying and frustrating for me.

Watching all these Black people walk past my table and frown at the title of my book (Black History Facts You Didn’t Learn in School) was disheartening and sad.

It wasn’t about the money. It never is. It was about the sheer audacity of people to be offended.

I wanted to run to the bathroom and burst into tears at the arrogance of a people with no interest in their own history. There was even an interracial couple who walked by, him Black, her white.

Chile, do you know this man looked at his white friend/wife/woman and asked if she wanted the book while laughing as they walked on?

Trifling does not even begin to describe the moment.

But then…

There was an older Black man. He walked by my table and dropped a crinkled 20, whispering, “Keep doing what you are doing.”

You have to understand how he did it.

In African American families, elders (grandma’s, grandpa’s, aunts, uncles, etc.) will hug you and whisper in your ear, “How you?” While slipping cash into the palm of your hand.

There is no conversation about it and they are not interested in your explanations. It is simply an act of love wrapped tight in spiritual discernment. You need this even if you don’t think you do.

You could be struggling with bills.

You could be frustrated.

You could be facing any unforeseen tragedy, and this person who has lived long enough to know what love looks like in the flesh slips you with just enough money to cover whatever was bothering you.

Now, I was not in a financial catastrophe but a spiritual one. An emotional one. One that almost made me pack up my things and walk out the door.

There is something about not being appreciated that sends me boiling.

My tolerance is zero.

But then, here comes an angel, dressed casually, with a brimmed hat and gray beard wrapped in golden black skin.

He drops a 20 on my table like it was the sweaty palm of my hand and whispered words of confidence into my spirit without losing stride. He spoke while walking, always keeping sight of his mission.

This man’s simple act gave me everything I needed to keep going.

People took notice, stopping at my table suddenly, almost like they had been commanded to.

There is no moral to this story that you have not already read.


No. This is not the angel man, lol.

The Kindle Version of Black History Facts is 99c for a Limited Time! Click Here to Get Yours.

Want a signed paperback? Click here!

Winners: Yecheilyah’s 6th Annual Poetry Contest 2023

Congratulations to the winners of this year’s poetry contest. We crown you, poetic scholars, for your commitment and dedication to poetic excellence on this 28th day of December 2023.

#1: Chandra T. Mountain

“I’m Living”

@musings.from.my.younger.self

#2: S.R. Graham

“What I Lack”

@thesensualgenius

#3: Samuel Olopade

“Grace”

@ _olops_

#4: Adariyah Ysrayl

“Grace”

@adariyahysrayl

Congratulations!!

And congratulations to everyone who participated! There would be no contest without your support. Keep an eye out for the individual spotlight interviews of each poet and details on Yecheilyah’s Annual Poetry Contest, 2024!

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – Black Coffee by Bree Gordon

Title: Black Coffee: From Empty to Overflowing with Peace, Healing, and Purpose

Author: Bree Gordon

Publisher: Bree Gordon

Published: February 18, 2020

Pages: 122


Bree Gordon begins her book with frank sincerity and unabashed vulnerability. We learn about her trials and tribulations as her marriage unraveled and her mental health suffered. Gordon utilizes her therapy sessions as the basis for telling the stories of the women who made a difference in her life, and the revelation about who these women are will leave you speechless.

In this book, we meet not just Bree but also Linda, Gia, Reena, and Trina. It’s got that How Stella Got Her Groove Back and Waiting to Exhale vibe.

This book’s layout and packaging are both excellent. Gordon welcomes us with a stunning cover of her enjoying a cup of coffee and then weaves this motif across her chapters. From “Brewing” to “Spilling the Beans,” I like how imaginatively she titled the chapters to enhance the story. It brought the narrative and the title together well.

What truly sets this book apart is the inclusion of therapist notes. It will surely help other women who have had to walk in Gordon’s shoes.

Ratings:

  • Authenticity / Believable: 5/5
  • Organization: 5/5
  • Thought Provoking: 5/5
  • Solid Conclusion: 4/5
  • Overall Rating: 5 / 5 stars

Grab Your Copy of Black Coffee Here

bree

https://www.breejgordon.com/


To have your book reviewed on this blog apply here. The registry is open UNTIL AUGUST 1ST!

Be sure to apply BEFORE August even if your book releases after if you want a review on this blog.

Stay tuned for our next dope read!

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews is a reputable review service that features writers from all over the world, both traditionally and independently published. We are listed on Kindlepreneur as a top-tier book review blog and Reedsy as one of their vetted active book blogs that provide insightful, excellent book reviews.

*Books are read in the order they are received.

 

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – The Weight of Salt by Sandra Montanino

Title: The Weight of Salt: A Gripping Story of Love and Courage (Angelina Pirrello Saga Book 1)

Author: Sandra Montanino

Publisher: Edwards Publishing; 1st edition

Published: January 13, 2021

Pages: 358


The Weight of Salt follows a Sicilian Italian family as they make their way through early 1900s America via the perspective of fifteen-year-old Angelina Pirello. In detail and filled with such emotion you’d think you were in the room, the author opens with Angelina watching her mother give birth for the seventh time. We are in Ybor, Florida, and the year is 1906.

The midwife is not very helpful, the baby is breached, and the doctor is delayed because of other patients since his wife won’t tell him that the Pirellos need assistance.

The reader’s exploration of Sicilian culture, religion, and family life begins with this event. Since the family is deeply Catholic, I sensed from the beginning that Angelina would be unique. She first rejects the idea that her infant brother (the one who passed away during birth) cannot enter paradise and will remain in limbo. The doctrine holds that everyone has Adam and Eve’s original sin, which must be washed away via baptism. However, unbaptized infants who pass away live in limbo and are not entitled to the gates of heaven.

Angelina is floored, and we see glimpses of her impending rebellion against tradition.

As fate would have it, she falls in love with someone her father, Domenico disapproves of. He then tries to give her an arranged marriage. Meanwhile, he is hiding college letters.

A lot is going on here, and there’s something in this book for everyone.

In the beginning, Angelina getting into a fight with the doctor’s wife (yes!) had me dying laughing. (Like, ma’am, why are you fighting this little girl?) For romance lovers, Angelina and Fabian will scratch that itch. For history buffs, there’s something in it for us too. Angelina learns the story of her parents and neighbors’ arrival at Ellis Island and how her neighbor’s family (not being wealthy) endured long lines and cruel examinations.

This book is lengthy, and you would want to savor it slowly. I enjoyed it mainly because it gave me a break from nonfiction, which I’ve been writing and reading a lot lately. (I’ve missed fiction!) It is complex, with numerous facets, themes, fully realized characters, and a masterfully structured narrative. Readers who prefer historical romance should definitely check it out, but historical fiction fans will also love it.

Ratings:

  • Plot Movement / Strength: 5/5
  • Entertainment Factor: 4/5
  • Characterization: 5/5
  • Authenticity / Believable: 4/5
  • Thought Provoking: 5/5
    Overall Rating: 5 / 5 stars

Grab Your Copy of The Weight of Salt Here

Salt


To have your book reviewed on this blog apply here. The registry is open UNTIL AUGUST 1ST!

Be sure to apply BEFORE August even if your book releases after if you want a review on this blog.

Stay tuned for our next dope read!

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews is a reputable review service that features writers from all over the world, both traditionally and independently published. We are listed on Kindlepreneur as a top-tier book review blog and Reedsy as one of their vetted active book blogs that provide insightful, excellent book reviews.

*Books are read in the order they are received.