Writer’s Quote Wednesday – Appreciation

Welcome back to another episode of Writer’s Quote Wednesday, hosted by Silver Threading. Today’s Quote is from Epicurus:

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“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not…”

There is nothing more arrogant than not accepting or appreciating what we have in the moment in which we have it. In a world of instant gratification we are always looking for the next big thing. Even the small things. Did you pay your rent or mortgage this month? Good, enjoy your home. Why worry about next month when that moment has not yet arrived? And who said you will live to see it? At one point you could only dream of owning a home or renting one this beautiful, don’t ruin it by desiring something that is not yet in your reach, or in your time to possess.

People and situations, no matter how exciting or distraught, come into our lives for a reason. Everyone you meet and everything you encounter has something to teach you. Sometimes we forget to take things as they are. An ugly situation must be accepted for what it is before we can properly act on it, and to navigate that situation. An ugly person even has to be accepted for who they are, for in the twisted way of things, even they have something to teach us.

About the Author:

Epicurus_bust2Today’s quote is a new one for me because I don’t really get into the whole philosophy thing. But Epicurus was an ancient Greek philosopher as well as the founder of the school of philosophy called Epicureanism. Only a few fragments and letters of Epicurus’s 300 written works remain. I chose this quote not for its author but for the quote itself. I don’t know much about Epicurus nor am I a fan of his but that fact became, unintentionally, symbolic in and of itself. For example: According to Wikipedia:

Epicurus is a key figure in the development of science and scientific methodology because of his insistence that nothing should be believed, except that which was tested through direct observation and logical deduction.”

While I absolutely disagree, I was still able to learn something from the quote itself and apply it to my personal walk in a way that is relevant to me without sacrificing my understanding or being redirected.

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Thanks for joining us for another episode of Writer’s Quote Wednesday! Be sure to run on over to Silver Threading to see what the fun is all about.

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Lasting Marriages – Miracles in Disguise

Circa: 2012, me and Hubby on the way to New Orleans to port for our 7 day Cruise
Circa: 2012, me and Hubby on the way to New Orleans to port for our 7 day Cruise

“As far as I’m concerned, if a Black man and woman make marriage work in amerika, they’ve accomplished a miracle. Because everything is against them. Just being poor is one of the biggest obstacles. Most of the arguments are about money. It’s hard to be loving and caring when you can’t pay the bills and you don’t know where the next dollar is coming from”

– Assata Shakur

This excerpt from Assata’s autobiography is so on point that I had to share it with you. This I do not limit to Black people but all people. Marriage is something I think we take highly for granted. It is one of the oldest institutions in which requires so much work and yet receives so little praise. I just want to take the time to encourage all of my married people, especially my married Black people, since our divorce rates are higher than any ethnic group. As Assata has mentioned, it is a struggle to focus on the love you have with one another when there are so many other distractions surrounding the basics. Trying to live life, fulfill a career, rear the children, pay bills, it all gets cloudy sometimes. But we cannot allow this to damage the beauty of the coming together of man and woman. I have been married for seven years now and we’ve been together eight total. One of the things we love to do together (aside from travel) is movie night. It started as something sporadic and has now become a tradition. Now movie night is every night! Lol. It gives us the opportunity to enjoy each others company after a long day with life. When we come into the door and we finish our dinner and all the miscellaneous things in preparation for the next day; when the lights dim and the surround sound begins, we try to leave everything else behind us. No smartphone. No internet. No talk about work and bills and blah blah blah, just me and him. It nurtures our relationship in ways that are probably far more impactful than we can realize at this moment. While I still consider myself a newlywed as compared to some of you veterans, I just want to encourage you to find an activity you share with your hubby or wifey that no matter what happens in the world, it does not get in the way of your bond. In the words of Lena Horne “It’s not the load that weighs you down, it’s the way you carry it”. So shift some of that weight, get rid of some even. But find something to do together that makes the whirling world stand still. Be honest and open with each other concerning your flaws and doubts and feelings and allow the love that brought you together to be a kind of therapy within not just your marriage, but in your life. Marriage is work and anyone who tells you different is a liar. It is not easy and sometimes it can be a real struggle. It is for this reason that if you are married and have been for some time, across nationalities, if you are still married, then you are a living miracle. Never underestimate that.

Writer’s Quote Wednesday – Non-Essentials

Today’s Writer’s Quote Wednesday is from Lin Yutang:

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Have you ever known a pack rat? Are you the pack rat? The person who just cannot throw anything away? As such the garage, the storage room, the extra bedroom, or the closet overflows with all of your things. Not just anything, but things. Things that are no longer usable but take up space. This quote reminds me of that.

Anything in life that cannot be used for the benefit of moving forward is a non-essential and is just taking up space. If I cannot make use of this computer, if it is broken and it has proven to go beyond restoration, then it is no use to me. It must be undone. Left alone. I try to look at life in terms of value and quality. Anything that I add to my personal space: relationships, writing, goals, friendships, and even blogging, if it does not assist me in some way, does not add value to my life in some way, then it must be left undone. It is a non-essential. I cannot use it.

The Point of it all? Learn to do away with anything that no longer grows you.

Linyutang

Lin Yutang (October 10, 1895 – March 26, 1976) was a Chinese writer, translator, linguist and inventor. His informal but polished style in both Chinese and English made him one of the most influential writers of his generation, and his compilations and translations of classic Chinese text into English were bestsellers in the West.

 

 

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Don’t forget to join us every week for Writer’s Quote Wednesday, Hosted by Silver Threading.

Responsibilities

Yecheilyah-72dpi-1500x2000-e-bookI know I know it’s been a scarce week (or two) here on The PBS Blog. Truth is I began a number of projects years ago that are starting to show signs of fruit. I am completing my first short story series. In fact, Stella Book #1 Releases Next Week which will be promptly followed by additional parts taking me well into the summer and just in time to begin work on Pearls Before Swine Vol. #2 in the fall. Needless to say I expect to have a busy year (yaaasss). But the biggest project, the one I am super siked to be on the finishing end of is the audio for my Third Poetry Book Collection “Womanhood Don’t Begin in Menstrual Cycles”, which releases next month (March). But while I set out to organize my life offline, it led me to today’s post: Responsibilities.

This has nothing to do with projects or books, but life. As we go about our daily routines and the accomplishments of our goals there is a lot missing from the accountability end of this whirlwind of events and circumstances. We must keep in mind that we are responsible for everything we say, everything we do and everything that we write. There’s a quote that says ” We are what we write”, and what a profound truth. I speak and you listen and as a result of my speaking you in turn perceive. You may either accept or reject and that’s your business. I cannot be responsible for the way in which your eyes see, but I can be responsible for influencing what you see. In other words, our personal lives would be so much better if as individuals we took responsibility for who we are and what we are and those things that we influence, good or bad.

A young man dies on the street corner. He is 17 years old. By age 5 he can quote the rap lyric to every rap song known to man. His routine consists of school, TV, food and back again. Homework has been lost in-between. At age 10 he came into the house at whatever hour his youthful activities would warrant. By age 13 he was buying his own clothing and paying his mothers bills. By the age of 16 he was paying her rent altogether. At 17 years old a young man is gunned down on the street corner. The aftermath presents a distraught mother who cannot fathom the animal who would gun down her son. “He was a good boy”, she says. And while I would not doubt he just may have been a nice guy, what was he doing on the corner in the first place? What kind of activities led him there? And at what point does this mother take responsibility for the kind of behavior she approved the moment she accepted what she knew to be drug money? Or perhaps I trip over a rock and scar my face in the process. Oh and I was texting by the way so I wasn’t exactly looking up. I was not paying attention and as such I could not see what was in front of me. This is the kind of accountability in which I speak.

Healing can only come from personal accountability. I can never fix what is wrong with me if I cannot acknowledge my own imperfections. It is important to ask ourselves: “What is it about me that led to this? What is it about my heart that chose this?” Because only until we come fully into the understanding of our personal selves can we begin to make changes. Until then we will never progress in our lives. But once the process of personal accountability has begun, then we will begin to improve on those struggles we once thought were immovable. A bad situation is always a bad situation, but growth is optional. We choose to accept who we are and who we have become. We decide what aspects of our lives will change and which will remain based on our level of responsibility. When we are at fault we choose to accept or deny that fault. And when we have made a mistake we choose how that mistake will change us.

To Live

Arundhati Roy

To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty…. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.” ― Arundhati Roy