Tag: growth

The Lotus

growth

“The lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it will only grow in the mud. In order to grow and gain wisdom, first you must have the mud — the obstacles of life and its suffering. … The mud speaks of the common ground that humans share, no matter what our stations in life. … Whether we have it all or we have nothing, we are all faced with the same obstacles: sadness, loss, illness, dying and death. If we are to strive as human beings to gain more wisdom, more kindness and more compassion, we must have the intention to grow as a lotus and open each petal one by one. ” ― Goldie Hawn

Give Me Some Space

I’m afraid this blog is transforming into something I do not want it to be. That there’s a cloud here that visits every time I publish a book. It lingers over the tops of our heads like an annoying conversation that will not end. How did we get here? I don’t want to write about writing today. Don’t want to hear explanations of grammatical correctness, and book cover design. I don’t want to hear anything about Self-Publishing and ISBN Numbers. And yet, here I am, talking about writing! Why does this cloud of a niche insist on trying to find its way to this blog? I’ve always enjoyed the variety of subject matter here and Dear Writing, I love you, but I cannot let you sneak up on us like this. We need some space. Yes, you are starting to get on my nerves. I don’t want to hear about books and why I should be reading them. I want to hear about life and why I should be living it. I want to talk more about what’s going on inside these walls called the four corners of the Earth. Want to talk about how well my husband’s surgery went and how much I’m enjoying his break from the job. Want to whisper sweet poetic somethings into this post just because I feel like it. No prompts. No tips. Just poetic somethings. Want to sit back and tell you why Lean on Me is the best movie ever and I challenge anyone to tell me I’m wrong. Want to explain why I’m probably wrong. Dear Writing, let me laugh my way into this post without thoughts of you. Time for us to take a break. Give me some space.

Diversify Your TV / Movie Selections

I know we all have our favorites but it is time to upgrade. In a couple weeks we’ll be moving on into another year. As such, I would like to propose an upgrade in entertainment. Last month I wrote a post called “Before The Weeks Ends” about diversifying our bookshelves. In this post, I spoke about how dedication to only certain kinds of books can limit our perspective in life. I proposed instead a diversity in reading selections. Don’t just read Romance but have a few “How-To” sprinkled in there. Don’t just read Erotica only but throw in some African American Literature every now and again. Have something that you can go to for a little fun but also something that will educate you and give you insight beyond the norm. That said, this same logic can be applied to TV. What you put out and also what you take in is reflective in your life. Meaning that if I put positive energy out there I expect positive energy to come back to me. But if Flavor of Love, which projects a negative image of my people, is the only thing I’m giving my energy to, how can I ever expect to grow beyond that way of thought?

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We can sit back and convince ourselves that these are just shows but it would be naïve to think it has no effect on our minds. While were on the subject (*climbs soap box*) why are some of these shows even out there in the first place? Why did Flavor of Love even exist? What was its purpose? Yes,  I watched the TV show back in the day and as I look back, what did it produce for me? What did it teach the teenage me? Did it teach me how to love? Did it teach me how to take care of a man? Did it teach me how to interact with the world? Own a business? What did Flavor of Love teach me as a young woman who needed to be guided?

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And why do black people support these kinds of shows anyway? The ones that take the worst of your people and highlight it to the entire world and is popular only because you watch it. Even though they do nothing for your growth as an individuals. There is nothing profound or mentally stimulating about these shows. There is nothing that will give you an understanding of life in these shows. These shows do nothing but highlight the activity of wild women that no man would ever commit to. These shows produce all this negative energy and then we wonder why we can’t get along with our men. Why we can’t stop using profanity. Why we can’t get along with other women. It’s because of what we’re feeding our minds. In your subconscious you’re imitating the women you watch every week and mimicking their ways.

*Gets down from soapbox*

Now, I’m not going to sit here and tell you what to watch and what not to watch. I am not your judge and we’re all adults here. What I will say is this: use a little wisdom in your selection. Like I said  I published a post on diversifying our bookshelves and I think this same logic can be applied to every aspect of our lives. Diversify your movie  and TV selections as well.  Don’t just sit back and watch the same shows over and over again. Throw some documentaries in there, some historical films, or tune into something that is new. It may be boring at first but so is everything that is different to your way of life. You never know, it just may give you insight into something you may not have known before. We cannot possibly think that what we read or watch or make permanent parts of our lives have no bearing on our lives. It takes more than just talking about growth to actually grow as individuals. It takes some form of change, not just for black people but all people. It begins with what we give our attention to because what we give always come back. Everything around you has an effect on you in some way. Choose wisely.

Watering Seeds: Nurturing Ideas

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“You win some. You lose some. But you live, you live to fight another day.”

The famous quote from the movie Friday is true to life. As I was reflecting yesterday, I thought about the inevitable failures we encounter on our journeys to success. When I say success I do not necessarily mean the house on the hill. I mean success as defined by whatever we choose to define it by. For some success may be getting out of bed today, for others it may be writing a blog post. However you define success in your life is a personal decision and reaching that goal is your gift. The good thing about failure is that it strengthens us and teaches us what we should not do. It is kind of like conviction, that beast that always let’s us know when we’re wrong. I also thought, however, about ways we can help decrease our chances of walking into failures when it comes to our businesses and even our blogs. As I thought about this, I thought about Louisiana’s triple digit heat and, consequently, how we should keep our ideas nurtured just as we keep our flower beds so that they may grow to produce the kind of fruit (success) we’re looking for.

I’m really bad at this because I happen to have lots of ideas floating around in my head and I get so excited about them that I do not always take my time and it is to my detriment. My creative mind is always on the go, slipping and sliding around and trying to force its way into existence. Sometimes it’s a really bad idea and sometimes its a valuable idea. Either way, if I’ve learned anything about making mistakes and avoiding stumbling blocks its the power of patience and nurturing ideas before promoting them. Sometimes we have something really good and promising but because we have not taken the time to get to know that thing it does not grow into the full manifestation of it’s potential.

Promoting these ideas when they have not been completely nurtured can lead to great mistakes that could have otherwise been avoided. The same can be true of blogs. Be patient with yourself. Some blog posts have really great potential, but the idea for the post had not been nurtured or groomed in any way before pressing the publish button and that really good blog post idea never could reach its full potential. How much time have you spent drafting the post? Did you proofread it? How relevant is the topic in relation to your blogs purpose? All of these questions can be asked prior to publishing to prepare us to reach the readers that we intend to reach. In short, it is always best to wait and to water these seeds (ideas) so that they can bring forward the right kind of food. Otherwise, being impatient with our ideas will only leverage it’s chances of failing.

Growth

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“There is always something to do. There are hungry people to feed, naked people to clothe, sick people to comfort and make well. And while I don’t expect you to save the world I do think it’s not asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness of those whom you call friend, engage those among you who are visionary and remove from your life those who offer you depression, despair and disrespect.”

– Nikki Giovanni