“Is your writing going to be a lover in the center of your life? The thing you pulse toward, the fever in your soul? Or is your writing life more of a casual crush, something you think about, but don’t do much about? You know how when you are in love, lying with your lover, time stops–goes so fast and doesn’t move at all? You feel mushy and goopy, and you are wet and hot and cool and loved and lovely, all at the same time?
Here’s the thing, there is one way to make time stop. And only one way: Fall in Love.
When you have a lover or a baby, you fall out of time, and into the beloved. Love is the only time in our lives when we are out of time. To create a writing life, you will need to fall in love–deeply, seductively, passionately–with your writing life. It will become not a habit or a job, but a lover. If you keep it a second-string lover, your back-up lover, your Tuesday night sex-as-friends kind of lover, it might always be cranky with you. But if you make your writing life so lovely you can’t take your eyes off it, you will space out during meetings, and dream about it as you go through the day, just like when you’re in love. – Heather Sellers, Page After Page, Chapter 3
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Heather Sellers is an Award winning writer and professor who has taught writing workshops for twenty years, has a Ph.D. in writing and is an associate professor of English. Her book, Page after Page, is a great resource for writers looking to jump-start, begin, or keep the writing juices flowing. She presents great advice on how to dedicate yourself to writing, enjoying the process, and writing exercises to help keep you passionately, seductively, and totally in loooovveee with writing.
Was so intense last night! I don’t want to ruin it for the others but all I’m gonna say is: “Is he is or is he aint?” Those of you who seen last night’s episode know exactly what I’m talking about!
OK so, below are just a two questions I have for the writers:
Where’s the Plague?
I don’t mean the Zombie plague; it’s enough of that going around. I mean the fly and maggot plague! With that many dead bodies around there should be flies and maggots and insects everywhere.
Kid Zombies?
Why are there no kid zombies! I see men, women, and even the elderly but there are no children zombies or baby zombies. Time out maybe?
The Smell
Again, with that number of zombies around the stench should be unbearable, but rarely do we see anyone covering their noses and mouths even when approaching new bodies. Maybe they got used to it?
I know were all waiting for insight into Rick’s situation but don’t sleep on Morgan! This is a man filled with compassion but he is a beast. And, to all my Walking Dead Fans, did you catch what his stick represents? It’s a staff. Yup, like the one Moses had.
So anyway, which Walking Dead character are you? Just for fun.
I’m gonna have to go with Michonne! Straight beast mode.
It’s kind of hard to believe this today, but as recent as 1967, there was actually state laws that banned interracial marriage. These laws weren’t overturned until the Supreme Court case, Loving vs. Virginia in 1967. In that case, the Supreme Court found that it was unconstitutional for the state of Virginia to ban interracial marriage.
Although there are no longer any laws banning relationships, interracial dating remains a controversial subject for some people.
The Interracial Blog Feature was inspired by my new book, “Beyond The Colored Line”, and was created as a means to foster a better understanding of diverse relationships. Today, we welcome a good friend of mine Allison Wells.
EC: Hey Allison, I’m so excited to have you spending time with us today. Can you give the racial background of you and your husband for the record and how long you’ve been together?
AW: I am half Mexican and half white. We have been together 12, married almost 10.
EC: Awesome. Now, the character in my book, Stella May, is what the people of her era deem a mulatto, that is, she is of mixed ancestry. You have children who are biracial. What advice would you give to mothers of mixed children on how to deal with the stigmas that are often placed to them?
AW: Teach them to love all of who they are but don’t keep them in a bubble, prepare them for what others will say.
EC: That’s a good point. Preparation is so important. What are some challenges that interracial couples deal with that couples of the same race may not have to deal with?
AW: Well since we both grew up differently we had to learn to adjust to each others way of doing things… and food choices :). When it comes to parenting, you learn to compromise when necessary but you also learn to come up with your own ways of doing things. Neither one of us had very involved parents so we have been “learning as we go”.
EC: I get you. Sometimes that’s the best way to go too. OK, so, when African-Americans and Whites marry, there is more likely to be an African-American husband and a white wife. In fact, 73 percent of all African-American and White marriages have this setup. In your opinion and your experience with Interracial Relationships what do you think attracts other ethnicities to black men?
AW: Strength. Black men have a natural strength about them that is very attractive. When I say strength it’s both physical and mental. When dating, if I could walk all over you, it was an instant turn off.
EC: Whew! Now that’s some insight right there, yesss. SPEAK. OK I’m calm lol. So anyway, speaking of black men, I hear a lot of black people, women in particular, accusing other blacks of being “sell outs” when they date outside their race. Have you or your husband ever had the misfortune of the title and why do you think this is?
AW: Yes, I’ve defiantly heard the phrase “why couldn’t he get with a black girl? He’s weak.”
EC: Wow. Why do you think this is? How does it make you feel?
AW: Well I’ve also been on the flip-side of that comment, I’ve had people ask why I was dating someone white but the truth of the matter is people are never going to be happy with your decisions. Everyone has an opinion and some people love to criticize. So I don’t deal in other people’s opinions, it doesn’t affect me either way.
EC: I heard that. Speaking of opinions, a lot of people discern that blacks who speak with a professional tongue are trying to sound white. I speak from experience. My husband is not white but he’s very educated and he grew up in a diverse city as well where the majority of people in the town were white. Of the blacks present, he was teased by them a lot for his speech. They said that he sounded, “White”. As a biracial woman, what are your thoughts on this?
AW: That’s silly to me. I think when people say stuff like that it speaks to their own insecurities. There is nothing wrong with speaking correctly, or “properly.”
EC: True. As my husband would say, just be real about it. Speak how you speak regardless of the company and give everyone the same level of respect. Now, speaking of speech, I’ve always wondered about the conversations between interracial couples concerning the ongoing racial tensions surrounding blacks and whites. Are there any moments where you and your husband disagree with a subject that is race related? If so, how do you deal with that?
AW: I think that it helps us both get a fuller understanding of each side. We don’t disagree often but if we do then we explain our points.
EC: Hmm, so it fosters greater insight into both your perspectives.
AW: Right.
EC: Any time before 1967 your relationship would technically be illegal. How does that make you feel today with the knowledge that you’ve chosen to be with someone outside of your race?
AW: If anything it makes me truly grateful to be born in this time.
EC: Yes indeed. Allison, I want to thank you again for being part of this series, it has truly been a pleasure. If there is one form of advice you would give to people still struggling to accept Interracial Relationships, what would it be?
AW: Love is a strong thing, it sees past color. If you are still struggling then maybe you need to check yourself on that.
EC: I just love how you keep it all the way real. In closing, as someone who has been married for some time, name one thing that has kept your relationship going.
AW: I think what has kept us together for this long is our respect for one another, our faith, and communication.
EC: Such a beautiful couple, thank you Allison for your time.
AW: Anytime.
And that’s it family, Allison Wells on Interracial Marriages. As you can see from our Q&A, the purpose of this series is to shed light on the fact that mankind was made to be compatible with one another regardless of race. Thank you Mrs. Wells for joining me in this series. It was insightful and educational, I sure did learn a lot.
Stay tuned for our final week of Interracial Marriages. We’ll be wrapping up our series with our final interviewee and a surprise gift from me to all of my guests! You don’t want to miss it.
My nephew has my birthmark on his chest. My face has my mother’s nose, and my smile is etched with my father’s teeth. I interact with the world as if on my own. It never occurs to me that I swing my arms like my Aunt. Or that the decisions I make may have already been made before. They say there is nothing new under the sun. I cannot swim. But maybe that’s because the Great Flood has traumatized me. Can I still taste salt water seas on my tongue? Have you ever thought about the make-up of a blood line?
The possibility that maybe you inherited these ways only to gift them to someone else one day. I smile at the thought. What would a little girl look like with my eyes, my words and my hands on her hips? How do I know my favorite tree did not bleed with the stench of my ancestors? And have I ever fathomed why Hurricanes take the same route as the slave ships? Can it be that bodies still burn like melted ash upon the ocean floor? Its smoke mixed with the wind before marching out to the beat of Negro Spirituals I could have sworn I heard on the radio last night. Or maybe that’s just the Harriet in me. Perhaps I may gather poetry in my arms like the wind released of its chains. Is it possible that words can free those who do not know that they are slaves?
Oh, hi. I happen to be on my way to the kitchen. I think it’s going to be baked chicken and macaroni tonight with a yummy salad on the side. I shall also chill out with a glass of wine. But that’s not why you called…
Just want to remind you to join me tomorrow for another interview on the topic of Interracial Relationships. As you know, for the rest of this month I will be posting interviews I have conducted with some individuals on their thoughts on the topic of Interracial Marriages and the role race plays in relationships in general. This feature was inspired by the release of book two in my Stella Trilogy, “Beyond The Colored Line” this summer and will post every Thursday of this month. Join me tomorrow at 8:00a CST to meet another good friend of mine. You don’t want to miss her answers!
The PBS Blog 