Tag: marriage

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – The Love Labyrinth by Pamela D. Beverly

Title: The Love Labyrinth

Author: Pamela D. Beverly

Print Length: 201 pages

Publisher: Pamela D. Beverly (March 12, 2017)

Publication Date: March 12, 2017

Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC

Language: English

ASIN: B06XKGFQ5R

When Noelle Harrison meets Clark Johnson on her way out the church doors, she immediately discerns his kindness is inappropriate for a married woman. Already we can see Noelle struggling. Should she go out to lunch with the young, fine Clark? He claims he just wants to be friends. Is that possible? Can a married woman be friends with another man without romance being involved? Can you be friends with someone who wants more than friendship with you? These are the question I asked myself as Clark and Noelle made plans for lunch.

The plot thickens as we discover that Mr. Wayne Harrison is a workaholic who is always away on business. In fact, he is so busy that he practically ignores Noelle’s cries for attention and is not as helpful with their two sons as he should be. Frustrated with being ignored, Noelle continues to go on lunch dates with Clark while struggling to hold onto her integrity. Clark wants Noelle, and he wants her bad. She has taken over his mind and is now all he thinks about. Noelle has no idea the kind of life-altering decision a simple lunch date can be.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. For me, it has a mixture of everything. Of course, there’s the serious question of fidelity and married life, but there’s also drama and laughs (Clark’s a bit of a crybaby. I am sure that’s him smiling on the cover.) When things got deep, my heart broke for each main character at different points in the story. It reminded me of how precious marriage is and how important it is not to play around with someone’s heart. The Love Labyrinth is a smooth read, not too fast and not too slow, with some well-developed characters.

Ratings:

Plot Movement / Strength: 5/5

Entertainment Factor: 4/5

Characterization: 5/5

Authenticity / Believable: 4/5

Thought Provoking: 5/5

Overall: 5/5

The Love Labyrinth is Available Now on Amazon

Be sure to visit Pamela on the web!

Web- https://relationspdbeverly.com 

Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/Pamela-D.-Beverly/e/B008D278XY

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/PamelaDBeverlyAuthor

Twitter – https://twitter.com/writesistah

Goodreads – https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6487140

3 False Teachings and Misconceptions of the Housewife

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Image Credit: Submission ADs, 1950s

Loss of Identity

–    A woman who chooses to stay home either to raise children or not is not suffering from an identity crisis. She has not lost sight of who she is as a person and what she wants just because she chooses not to break the glass ceiling. Staying home does not mean watching TV all day and spending eight hours in the kitchen. Instead, it gives women a chance to be creative and to pursue dreams they probably never thought possible. With time on their hands and the financial support of their men, these women go out into the community to volunteer and get involved in all sorts of creativity. They are proud to spend all day with their children or their husband if they have no children and to prepare healthy meals for their families. These are the women who do not stuff small mouths with junk food and candy. They take their time purchasing only the choicest goods, they cook and they clean. These undervalued skills contribute largely to the physical, spiritual, and psychological development of the youth. Children who are fed well and loved well can better focus at school among other things. In short, these women are not bored just because they choose the one career underappreciated the most in this society: Family.

Submission = Abuse

  • The image at the start of this post is very disturbing to me. Even more disturbing is that we believe this is what submission is because the Ads, TV commercials, and Hollywood movies told us so. A woman who submits to her man is not being abused by him. Abuse can happen in any relationship at any time, it has nothing to do with submission itself. Because abuse can happen to anyone at anytime it is critical that women understand their value and their worth before trying to find it in a man. You are what you attract and no one, man or woman, who has not learned to love themselves first has any business trying to love anyone else. That said, a wife who submits to a husband simply respects him and his decisions within the family structure as head of her household. It does not mean that the woman is weak or is in any way less capable of leading. Submission simply means to be in agreement because no family can thrive if the house is divided. All parties must be on one accord and as a man’s natural position is to lead, he handles this role well. By nature women are attracted to men in who they see strength. While it is natural for women to get caught up in the everyday life of children and work her love and attention to the man should not cease. I like to call this “Keeping the Spark”. A man who gets this kind of attention from his woman gives it right back (that is if he is a man) and is less likely to seek it elsewhere. Otherwise, it will be difficult for that man to thrive in a home in which his own woman doubts him. The contented face of a happy man has no equal. By happy I am not referring to sex. Though important, sex is not marriage but a part of it. A man provides more than sex and money but leadership, guidance, and discipline for our children. In the 1960s Black marriages were at its best. Black men accepted their roles as natural leaders and black women followed. We stood by them, we supported them, and our homes thrived.

She is Unhappy

  • The problem here is that we have devalued the role of the wife and mother; as if there is a position higher than this. Being a stay-at-home wife or mother is a prestigious position, one that no Hollywood job or high-class position will ever be able to fulfill. Not all women are made to fit this role nor do all women want to and that’s their business. But for those who do, they are not unhappy and depressed just because they choose to treat their men like Kings and make leaders of their children. More wives would keep their husbands if they understood one simple truth: treat him as if he is the most important man in all the world. As far as you are concerned, this man can rule the world with you by his side. There is no man like your man. Is this not how you want to feel? Like you’re the one woman who can rule the world? That you are queen? Why would he want anything different than to be lavished by the woman he loves? When a man feels like he can conquer the world, he will.

 

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – To Thee I’m Wed by Deborah Dykeman

Title: To Thee I’m Wed

Author: Deborah Dykeman

Print Length: 239 pages

Publication Date: December 29, 2015

Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC

Language: English

ASIN: B019YT5NC2

They were in total bliss when Jason and Kathy Miller married in June 1985. Like any young couple, they are happy, giddy, and excited to start their lives together. A little too happy for things to be all peaches and cream.

Twenty years and three children later and the fire dies. Once happy-go-lucky, Kathy is starting to feel unfulfilled. The life of a housewife is now her duty where it had once been so much more. It had once been fun. Now that the children are older, Kathy seeks work to rekindle the excitement in her life, but her husband is not pleased.

Jason can’t understand why his wife is so discontent and is unsure of Kathy’s love for him. After revealing that she’d like to start work, Jason is unhappy but leaves it to Kathy to decide. She decides to work, and though it makes her feel like she has a purpose, things do not improve.

When Kathy meets the owner of Giordano’s restaurant where she works, everything she feels she is missing in Jason is handed to her on a gorgeous silver platter. Kathy is feeling Antonio Giordano, and as hard as she tries to fight it, she begins to change, and so does her marriage.

I like how the author lets us into the not-so-good parts of marriage and the realness of Jason and Kathy’s feelings concerning their responsibility in the relationship. The author developed the characters’ persona well so that it is easy to see them as real people. I enjoyed knowing what each person was thinking, how they were wrong about the other, and ways in which they were right.

Kathy is representative of many women who feel differently after children, especially if they are stay-at-home moms and have focused so many years on raising children and taking care of husbands that they forget how important their self-care is.

Jason is representative of many men who also get comfortable in the relationship. Too caught up with work that they don’t realize how they are neglecting their wives in ways they might not be consciously aware of.

Ratings:

Plot Movement / Strength: 4/5

Entertainment Factor: 4/5

Characterization: 5/5

Authenticity / Believable: 5/5

Thought Provoking: 5/5

Overall Rating: 5 / 5

To Thee I’m Wed is Available Now on Amazon

(Isn’t this cover beautiful? I love all Deborah’s covers!)

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Be Sure to Also Follow This Author on Social Media!

Website
www.deborahanndykeman.com
Facebook
facebook.com/deborahanndykeman
Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Deborah-Ann-Dykeman/e/B01B2BYPK6

Movie Night Friday – The Best Man

As promised, welcome to the resurgence of Movie Night Friday. Whoop Whoop! If you’re new to this blog, please visit the Movie Night Friday Page HERE and then take a look at last week’s post HERE.

The Dog EC Hired to Help Host Movie Night Friday.
The Dog EC Hired to Help Host Movie Night Friday.

 

Since this is the first week of our return, I decided I won’t go in hard. For our welcome back I decided to choose a movie that’s light and fun. One that is entertaining but also has many lessons that we can learn from. It’s been a minute since I’ve seen it but don’t worry, doggie and me was more than happy to re-watch it for you. To be transparent, I am watching it as I am writing this.

There aren’t many movies I watch just for entertainment but I do love this one (I’m a sucker for all black casts! Gotta love my people).  Probably one of Terrance Howard’s funniest roles, let’s jump right in shall we?

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From Wikepedia:

“Harper Stewart (Diggs) is a young man living in Chicago with his beautiful and devoted girlfriend, Robyn (Lathan). However, Harper has a professional life as an author and is on the verge of a major breakthrough. He is hesitant about committing to a woman. Harper’s debut novel, Unfinished Business, has been selected by Oprah’s Book Club, pretty much guaranteeing him a bestseller.

Harper travels to New York City, where his best friend, Lance (Chestnut), who is a running back for the New York Giants, is getting married to a young lady named Mia (Calhoun), who is also an old friend of Harper’s. Harper is picked up at the airport by his friend, Murch (Perrineau), and they catch up in the car. Eventually, they meet up with Jordan (Long), Harper’s old what-could-have-been female friend who has obtained an advanced copy of his book and has been passing it around their inner circle of friends. Due to its autobiographical nature, Harper never intended for any of them to read “Unfinished Business” prior to the wedding.”

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A romantic comedy, the movie surrounds the friendship between Harper and Lance leading up to his wedding. Harper is Lance’s Best Man and the movie deals with the tension building up to the point where Lance reads the book written by Harper and the truth concerning his perfect little Mia. Stupidly, Harper has laid out all the juicy details in his book.

What I love about this movie is that it has laughs, drama, and a message. It is not a movie I watch all the time anymore but whenever I need to relax to a laugh I put it on. Here are some bullet points and dear authors, don’t be Harper.

#1. Never write a fictional book based on real life events that you don’t want to get out.

This was by far the stupidest thing ever. First off, everyone knew who was who in the book, so even though Harper tried disguising the individuals, it was still apparent who they were. Harper, these are your college friends you still keep in touch with. They know you well. Did you really think they wouldn’t know who they were? People, if you want to air your dirty laundry then just do it. Don’t write a book about it.

#2. Ladies, don’t be controlling!

Murch and Shelby’s relationship is annoying. It’s annoying because the woman is controlling and the man is too weak to call her on it. We are supposed to be there to support our men, to stand by them, and to help them, not to control their every move. Men are natural leaders. Let them lead!

#3. Don’t Judge

Candy was a stripper yes but she ended up being the perfect match for Murch.

#4.  Don’t be a hypocrite

One minute Lance is quoting the bible and the next he’s giving Harper permission to cheat.

#4. You are not in control

The more we try to control what is beyond our reach, the more mistakes we are bound to make. Everything also happens for a reason. If Lance would have never found out, maybe Harper would not have appreciated Robyn the way he did in the end and the information could have come up later in Lance marriage and destroyed it.

#6. Be forgiving

Lastly, no matter what you go through in your relationship, be forgiving. Robyn could have walked out on Harper and Lance could have walked out on Mia.

Forgiveness is powerful not just because of how it changes the individual but how it changes everyone involved. You are not forgiving just for their sake, but for yours. Forgiveness is powerful because what goes around, comes around. The energy you put out will come back. It’s inevitable. If you want to be forgiven of your mistakes, then you must be willing to forgive others. It’s the only way.

As I did before, here’s the trailer to The Best Man and no, I do not recommend Best Man Holiday. As much as I love this movie I did not like the sequel. Not only do I not celebrate holidays but part two was just …whack. Some movies cannot be remade.

The Best Man Movie Trailer

90s Throwback Thursday Jams – Salt ‘N’ Pepa – Whatta Man (feat. En Vogue)

Whatta man whatta man whatta man, what a mighty good man!

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I wanna dedicate today’s 90s Jam to my hubby! OK so, yesterday was a suppperr busy day. Like, it didn’t even make any sense. So, I was still working when Moshe (hubby) got home and made dinner for us. I mean, he throw down anyway so it’s nothing new but he was so sweet about it. Made me go awwuee! PLUS he barbecued and it was so bomb.

I chose three of my favorite pics (well, I have more favorites but these are what I could find right now). The first is in Texas in 2010. The second is in Jamaica in 2012. That raised eyebrow of his is hilarious. The last one was last year, I begged him to take a selfie (or in this case, a us-ee lol)

Without further ado here is Salt N Pepa Whatta Man…

“I want to take a minute or two, and give much respect due
To the man that’s made a difference in my world”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-WFNbMohTQ

You Are Just a “Stay At Home Wife”

I love this. Much love to my stay at home wives who have the guts to pursue the career of home making despite the stereotypes. It is a prestigious position indeed. Stay strong.

JusTalk's avatarJusTalk

I often get asked, because of my age (22) and the fact that I married at what people may say is “early”, if I work and/or go to school. You should see the looks on these peoples faces when I simply say, “no, I’m a homemaker (aka stay at home wife, I’m not a huge fan of that term, but we will use it for clarity.)” You would think I just disrespected their ancestors, it’s that serious. I mean they’re all like, “why?” “do you have children?” “you have so much potential.” “you should definitely think about it.” and I’m just like think about what?

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Why didn’t you ask me if I’m happy and content being a “stay at home wife”? Why do people automatically assume it’s a bad thing to stay at home? Let me be the first to tell you, it’s freakin’ awesome!! I’m a “stay at home wife” that does not mean…

View original post 262 more words

Convicted

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His beauty was biblical. Much more than a body, he was diary. He was journal. A standing column of poetry. From the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, this was prophecy. Thought the teacher was a waitress asked her if I could have another round of him. Let’s be realistic, this thing was futuristic like foresight. Every time he opened his mouth I took road trips into his memories. For my blood racing, I could not hide the joy. Trying to catch my breath after falling into his smile we were connected. Too young to understand this love-at-first-sight thing, I could have been dreaming. Maybe this was just my imagination. I was dancing. Moon-walking into complete relaxation. His last name should have been Jackson cause he was a hit. I couldn’t lie. Ran home every day just to go to bed so I can wake up to the sunrise because it reminded me of him. He didn’t know it but my nose was so open I took notes. I was singing. A sucka to every sound of the harmonious humility that escaped like convicts from his lips I was convicted, because I loved him too early.

Yecheilyah Ysrayl is the YA, Historical Fiction author of The Stella Trilogy, Blogger, and Poet. She is currently working on her next book series “The Nora White Story” about a young black woman who dreams of being a writer in The Harlem Renaissance movement and her parent’s struggle to accept their traumatic past in the Jim Crow south. “Renaissance: The Nora White Story (Book One)” is due for release spring, 2017. For updates on this project, sneak peeks of chapters, the pending book cover release, and full blurb for this series, be sure to subscribe to Yecheilyah’s email list HERE.