I wasn’t going to post anything today but I thought it would be the perfect time to explain what this segment is really about for those who don’t already know.
Although inspired by Iyanla Vanzant (learn more HERE) this is deeper than her quote. But before talking about what this is about, let’s talk about what this is not about.
This is not about being happy-go-lucky 24/7. That’s not what this is about. It is not about not stressing because stress is a part of life. It’s natural. This is not about not being at war because sometimes you must be. Trying to give people hugs in the time of war is just as dangerous as chopping someone’s head off at a time where all they really need is love.
Now, what is this about? What is ‘No Whining Wednesday’ really about?
This segment is all about control. Every single person has both good and evil inside themselves, and if you think that you don’t then you are just naive.
The evil inside of us however, must be contained. The evil that would rather blow up and pop off to someone, the evil that would rather curse you out, the evil that wants to repay evil for evil, the evil that takes it upon his or herself to exact vengeance, the evil that is without compassion, mercy, and love, we all know this evil and it must be controlled. This evil must be contained. Otherwise, these demons will corrupt your life.
We all have feelings and these feelings get hurt. That’s life. But we have a responsibility to stay committed to being the people we are. The good people we are because everyone has good inside them. For some it’s buried deeper than others but the light is there.
What I am saying is that we have to learn to control those negative emotions even when we feel that it is warranted. I know because I was that uncontrolled person. Cursing like a sailor, fighting and popping off. I was her. So I’m not telling you something I heard or looked up from some motivational speech because motivation is temporary. Inspiration and motivation is fleeting. It’s like the wind. It comes and then it goes and then it is back again. It is great to be inspired but inspiration does not last. Not without discipline. I can only speak for myself when I say that discipline is the most important thing. Discipline and self-control.
Sometimes you are not going to feel like being kind but if you can force yourself to think about the feelings of others before your own then you can will yourself to be kind. Sometimes people will hurt you and you won’t feel like doing nothing. Doing nothing feels weak, fragile, vulnerable, and exposed. But you will also soon realize that this is the strongest person. Sometimes you won’t feel like smiling and nobody’s asking you to do so all the time. I know I don’t. But, if we can forcefully drag ourselves to do it, we’ll be better for it.
No Whining Wednesday is not about being happy 24/7, otherwise there will be a No Whining Sunday through Saturday. What No Whining Wednesday is about is controlling yourself.
I dare you to forcefully drag yourself to do what is right today for no other reason except that it is right.
“That’s one of my principles. It’s another discipline that I encourage myself to employ – to, as much as possible, say the courteous thing, and then be it.”
– Maya Angelou
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“The history of lynching and racial terror in America is the focus of an ambitious new project launched Tuesday by Google, in partnership with the Equal Justice Initiative.
Google has helped create a new interactive site titled “Lynching in America,”which is based on an 80-page publication by the EJI. Its research has been adapted into a powerful visual narrative about the horror and brutality that generations of black Americans have faced.
Grab your copy of The House on Candlewick Lane, by Amy Reade for 99cents! I had the honor of reading and reviewing this book myself and I don’t promote anything I don’t like! *Comments disabled here. Please refer to the original post*
My latest release, The House on Candlewick Lane, is on sale for 99¢ and I’m trying to spread the word far and wide. If you’ve read the book, thank you very much. If you’ve read the book and left a review, you are awesome.
And if you haven’t read the book, this is your chance!!
Here’s a quick summary of the novel:
It is every parent’s worst nightmare. Greer Dobbins’ daughter has been kidnapped—and spirited across the Atlantic to a hiding place in Scotland. Greer will do anything to find her, but the streets of Edinburgh hide a thousand secrets—including some she’d rather not face.
Art historian Dr. Greer Dobbins thought her ex-husband, Neill, had his gambling addiction under control. But in fact he was spiraling deeper and deeper into debt. When a group of shady lenders threatens to harm the divorced couple’s five-year-old daughter if he doesn’t pay up…
Note: This can apply to any new blogger but since I use WordPress, I am specifying WordPress bloggers.
New bloggers have approached me for my secret to blogging. I don’t have one. There is no secret to blogging. At least not one that I know of.
Let me start by saying that I never consider the information I give advice. What happens is that the information, (proving helpful to bloggers) is referred to as advice simply because of those who find it useful and valuable and for this I am thankful. As for me, I am just sharing what has worked or is working, my experiences and recommendations but nothing is set in stone.
That said, there’s no step A and step B to how to build up a blog. I receive decent traffic and new subscribers are coming in daily but understand that this has taken me three years to build. I started out with no likes or comments just like you. I started with little to no traffic just like you. I am no one special.
Recently, many of you have emailed me asking questions based on my blog posts. I find this humbling and I hope this post is helpful to you.
Positioning
If you are wanting to be a successful blogger, writer, business person or anything in life, then you must put yourself in a position to be successful. We know that success is a definition that can mean different things to different people but in context, I assume we all want:
Increased Blog Traffic, Increased Views, Increased Subscribers
Basically, we all want someone to read our work and to care. That is where being in position comes in.
My husband loves gardening. He’s a green thumb. You may assume I am because I’m a woman and you would be wrong. In fact, I am not very “girly” in that sense. I don’t care for pink, I don’t wish to spend three hours shopping and I’m not into gardening. At least not like that. Moshe (hubby) on the other hand, loves to plant. I love it that he does too because we have fresh tomatoes and herbs that I love cooking with. Anyway, he set up a garden on our enclosed back porch. I’m telling you, the man can grow anything (he can even start from a plastic cup). Because of how our back porch is made, he sets pots out to catch the rain water. Rain water as we’ve come to understand, makes plants grow as if they are on steroids. It could be because rain water is clean. That is, water free from chemical additives, such as chlorine or salt. We’ve been getting lots of rain. Here’s our tomato plant:
Tomato Plant after the rain.
It’s almost too big for the small space. This would not have happened if we had not put the buckets in position to catch the fresh water (which is when it grew like crazy).
Being in position is all about being prepared for whatever comes. Having the cup on the table when the water comes, your hands open and stretched out when the football arrives. It’s about being ready to receive what it is that you want.
If you’re not ready to receive then you will not have what it takes to hold onto what you do get or to expand into something greater. Positioning ourselves for success is a challenge because it requires discipline and time. You can be in position for a long time before you see results.
Examples of Positioning
If you are getting traffic to your blog but there’s no follow button, then people will not subscribe to your blog. You cannot receive new subscribers because you are not prepared to receive them. In this instance, it has nothing to do with your writing abilities. It is not about posting as much as you can or speaking as intelligently as you can. This is why blogging is not just writing. Writing is one thing but all of these other elements is blogging. In this instance, you are not increasing your numbers because you are not in a position to increase them. You do not have the one thing that can guarantee followers: a follow button.
When you go into your WP dashboard and add tags to your post, these are not to make it look pretty but they actually serve a purpose. Tags act as keywords that help increase traffic and engagement to your blog. By ignoring adding tags and categories to your post, you are leaving traffic on the table (or if your blog is monetized, money but since my blog is not monetized, I will leave that for someone else to discuss). Having a tagging system is another reason why blogging is not just writing. Writing is writing but to blog successfully there are other things that must be done. These “other things” are things like tags and categories.
If your tagging sucks like mine did in the beginning then you can be losing out on views but don’t go overboard. Personally, twenty and thirty tags to a post are not necessary.
A better system is to remember that tags are like keywords that readers would potentially search for. Think about fifteen that you want to use on your post, with a category acting as a tag so fourteen tags, one category. Of these 15 some of them should be tags that are overly used. Words like Blog, Blogger, WordPress, Writing, and Poetry. These tags are used a lot and can be helpful in people finding your blog.
I will tell you now, I am no SEO (Search Engine Optimization) expert at all but I do not believe you have to be. I have read that Tags don’t impact the SEO (meaning its more so keywords used within the post itself), but based on my own search experience I can tell you that it does help improve SEO when you have multiple articles with relevant content linked by the same tag. For example:
Say you just wrote an amazing piece on “The Best Cheeseburgers Ever.” When someone opens Google and types “Recipes for Ground Beef”, (as I often do that’s why I am using this as an example lol) in this example recipes and ground beef are tags you may have included in your post about “The Best Cheeseburgers Ever”. Searching using these words, I just may find your article if you post a lot about recipes which leads me to your blog and, if I like what I see, I will follow your blog (if there’s a way for me to do so).
Another example is if I’m a reader who wants to scroll through your blog. If you have a search bar, you just made this easy for me. Using the search bar on your blog, I can type in words and the post containing those words will come up. I can easily access that post, read it and possibly share it with others. Just by adding a search bar, you’ve just gotten yourself in position for more views.
A real life example: I wrote a blog post two years ago on voting. Because this past Presidential Election was so different, that post got thousands of Facebook shares and counting. It took two years but the post was in position for the traffic it received (although I couldn’t foresee it). This is why I said it can take a long time to see results but being ready is always worth it.
Mostly, categories and tags allow visitors to easily browse related posts with the primary purpose of augmenting the user experience.
As you can see, content (your writing) is just part of how this works. It wasn’t just your writing alone that led me to your blog but a combination of things.
What I want you to see here is that because you were ready for me, I was capable of following your blog with no problem. You were in a position to receive me.
This same thing can be said of about pages and even the WordPress theme you choose. If your text is hard to read (too bright, too small, too fancy) people won’t want to read what you have to say. Why? Because you have not prepared them.
It is said that we have attention spans of goldfish. One vibration, text, or email alert and our internet addictions lead us elsewhere. In nothing short of seconds someone can forget all about you. For this reason, blogging is more than pushing the publishing button, you also have to be ready to receive the traffic you seek.
If you are a new blogger struggling to receive the kind of traffic you want or are having difficulty navigating the blog in general, I want to help you get into position. Ifyou would like me to take a look at your blog and offer feedback, I have set up a separate mailing list specifically for blogging.
In the meantime, I have added the links to some of my most helpful blog articles on blogging for those of you new to this blog. I have determined their value based on the feedback they have received so that I know these links are helpful to you. This goes back a couple years so excuse any information that is outdated. I have not gone through them to edit.
Don’t forget to Thunderclap! I am twenty people away (at the time of this writing) from my goal. It’s free and SUPER easy to participate- click THIS LINK and then click “support with Facebook” or “support with Twitter” or “support with Tumblr” or all three if you are feeling obliged. Thanks so much in advance!
Welcome back to Introduce Yourself, a new and exciting blog segment of The PBS Blog dedicated to introducing to you new and established authors and their books.
Today I’d like to extend a warm welcome to L. Loren. Welcome to The PBS Blog! Let’s get started.
What is your name and where are you from?
Hi! My name is L. Loren and I live in Greenville, SC.
What would your perfect writing / reading room look like?
My perfect reading room would have a huge bay window overlooking a back yard with a willow tree and a lake off in the distance. Oversized, colorful pillows would line the bench where I would relax and read my favorite stories. There would be plush carpet and lots of color on the wall with my favorite quotes adorning them. I would also need a soft blanket and table nearby setup with a china tea set decorated with and dragonflies.
Ohh. Nice! How many siblings do you have?
I have two brothers and four sisters. I am the baby so I am spoiled.
What was your childhood dream?
I had many dreams as a child but one I remember fondly was being a movie director.
I can totally see you directing a film! What skill would you like to master?
I would like to master screenwriting. I still have that movie dream. Lol
In your own words, what is love?
Love is a verb. It is something that can be felt and seen. It is when you care for someone regardless if they return the sentiment. You give your everything to that person just to make them happy, even if it means you must sacrifice. Love is everything! (OK you got me… I’m a hopeless romantic)
L. Loren: Writer of LoveRotica. Used with permission.
That’s OK. Hopeless romantics need love too! What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?
I have many adventures just waiting to be taken, but the one that comes to mind right now is taking a cross country trip with my husband, visiting each and every NBA Arena. You know the whole VIP treatment; getting behind the scene tours, attending the games and getting to meet players, taking pictures of each arena in a special location.(Every arena has that one special spot).
Speaking of locations, if you had unlimited funds to build a house that you would live in for the rest of your life, what would the finished house be like?
I am too non-committal for this question, but it looked fun. I don’t think I could live in one place for the rest of my life. I do have a dream house that I would like to have in Jamaica. It would be a small cottage with an amazing kitchen, a nice patio out back that overlooked a pool. The back yard would have lots of space for a BBQ grill, fire pit and a cobblestone path that led to the ocean. There would be lots of trees for shade and a place for me to write outside.
Jamaica is nice. What’s your favorite drink?
I love a good Arnold Palmer, but it has to be made right. That’s why I never order it when I go out. I like to make mine at home. Too much lemonade ruins the whole thing.
What genre do you write in, why?
I write erotica because it intrigues me. I love being able to express my sexuality in a book that allows others to do the same. I can write anything I fantasize about and do anything I ever dreamed up in a book without the consequences of real life. Sex is a part of being human and when people start to accept that, they will stop thinking of it as something to be hidden and done in the dark.
I must say people, if you’re looking for a sexy read, L. Loren’s your girl!
The Egyptian Nights Series: Coming June 20, 2017
What songs have you completely memorized?
The safer question would be what songs haven’t I memorized. Lol I love music. My poor husband is regulated to listening to my renditions of most songs that come on the radio, especially those from the 70s. I can sing non-stop on the oldies stations.
Yes, oldies are the best. Though I’m picky about which oldies I like lol. Loren, what’s your favorite food?
I love any type of pasta, unless it has seafood in it.
Shut. The Front. Door. I LOVE pasta. What’s your favorite color?
Orange is my favorite color, with purple coming in a close second.
Yess. Purple is beautiful. Who is your favorite writer?
This answer changes with my mood, but right now Maya Angelou!
Can’t argue with that one! If you could shadow your favorite artist, who would it be?
That’s a tough one. I have many artists that I would love to shadow. If I could only choose one, I would say Sylvester Stallone. He is such an interesting man to me.
What kind of music do you like?
My taste in music is eclectic. I will rock out to country as much as I will R&B, pop or rock. I even get into classical and instrumental at times. I have a thing for the blues and I will listen to rap, but I’m old school. Don’t bring that ratchet mess to me. It will get dismissed with a quickness.
Loll! Let’s talk about your writing. When did you publish your first book? What was that like?
My first book was published in 2015 and it was scary as all get out. (Yeah, I’m from the South. Deal with it. Lol).
If you could live in a movie, which would it be? Why?
This question is AWESOME! I live in movies in my head as a writer so there would be many movies. Right at this moment I would be Monica Wright in Love and Basketball. That movie touched my heart. I was her when I was in college, only the dude I was with played baseball. I would have to change the ending though, because dude was a dog. I would much rather have the man I am with now, my hubby.
So it would be more like Love and Baseball (*stops to roll on the floor laughing. Wipes eyes*) Lol. I had to do it.
Who is your best friend?
Doug Tetting is my best friend, lover, protector, giver of dreams and the best comedian on the planet.
How long have you been married?
We’ve been married 16 years, and together 21.
Yaass! I love it. Would you like to have children?
NO! Why? It is not for me.
Whhaaattt????? Nooo Lisa! (*Dabs the corner of right eye*)
What takes up too much of your time?
Social Media, but it is a necessary evil.
I know right. What do you wish you knew more about?
Writing for TV and Movies. That’s why I’m taking a course!
Loren, I think you still have dreams of being a director! Tell us about the course.
I am taking the Master Class- Shonda Rhimes Teaches Writing for Television. So far, the course is amazing. It delves into the inner workings of developing a show for television and all the steps you need to take to make it successful. Shonda Rhimes is the Queen of Thursday Nights and she knows great television. I am enjoying the course because it lets the students into her personal process, which is something you usually don’t have access to.
What’s your favorite Historical figure?
Cleopatra! She was bad ass.
Lol. What are your thoughts on Race?
I think race is something that is used to separate people and cause friction in the world. It is far too important in the world.
I know right. In your own words (not Google’s) define racism.
Racism is an excuse people who have a particular hue of skin, use to make them feel better about themselves, by belittling and demeaning people who are different than them. An unnecessary evil!
What’s your favorite TV Show? Movie?
My favorite TV show is hard to pinpoint. I love Scandal, NCIS, and Underground. I used to love Criminal Minds, but they got rid of Hotch and the show has gone downhill. My fave movies vary between, The Color Purple, An Affair to Remember, Forrest Gump, Love and Basketball and the Rocky movies, including Creed.
I enjoyed Creed myself. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?
Women’s Sports Channel!
Let’s talk about books. What is the most thought provoking book you’ve ever read?
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee.
Yea, that’s a good one. Loren, why is writing important to you?
I can’t live without it. It is a part of me that I must do.
Why is it a must for you?
I must write because I believe it is what I was put on Earth to do. I have a million stories in my head just waiting to be written. I am always coming up with new ideas for stories and I get excited just thinking about them. I see the world through a writer’s eye and always have. It has just taken me longer to gain the courage to write it down for others to enjoy.
What do you love about yourself?
I love that I have an open mind and my willingness to try new things.
If you had one superpower that could change the world, what would it be?
I have the superpower, but I don’t have the ability to infuse it into everyone. It is LOVE! Why? If people focused on love instead of hate, this world would change for the better. I’m not saying I want a utopia where people walk around like mindless drones smiling at the moon. I am simply saying, if people opened their hearts more instead of using hate to lead, things would get better for everyone.
That’s probably the deepest answer I’ve gotten on this interview yet! You’re onto something Loren. Love is a superpower indeed.
In your own words, what is truth?
Truth is the ability to step outside of yourself and see things for what they are, without any emotional attachment. Emotions cause truth to be skewed and then nobody knows what really happened.
Lol. True.
Coming June 20, 2017
*WARNING: This book contains explicit sexual content and is not suitable for anyone under the age of 18. Let’s get the children out of the room please.
Once upon a time there was a beautiful young woman named Egypt, and she loved sex. Cursed by her mother’s dying declaration, she thinks she is unworthy of love. Locking her feelings inside an impenetrable ice block, she hides behind casual sex. Aided by her Naughty Fairy Godmother, she creates a playlist of rules to live by to avoid a broken heart.
When the ruggedly, sexy businessman, Harper Beckmann enters the restaurant where she is the executive chef, she feels drawn to him in ways she never felt before. When he denies her offer for a casual hook-up and offers to take her on a date instead, she is intrigued. Unable to resist his charms, she allows him to break all of her rules, including kissing on the mouth.
Harper has been playing the field since his fiancée left him for his best friend. A romantic at heart, he longs for the love of a good woman. When he meets Egypt, he knows instantly she is just what he needs to cure his aching heart. If he can break down her walls and get her to admit she loves him too, Beckmann may just be the one to break the curse.
Thanks so much Loren for spending this time with us. We enjoyed you!
L. Loren. Used with permission.
Bio.
Loren is a former call center supervisor currently based in Greenville, SC with her loving and supportive husband.
Growing up the youngest of seven in a small town in North Carolina, she embraced her love of reading which helped to develop her imagination.
Her desire to write lay dormant for years until she found the courage to look within and her passion could no longer be ignored.
Are you speaking your goals into existence or waiting for a miracle to happen? You are the miracle! Speak it. Believe it. Act on it. Receive it. Thanks Sue for having me.
This picture was taken last year at a restaurant in Atlanta. I had just finished a book signing for the release of Book 3 in The Stella Trilogy and was to act in the stage-play Blakk Amerika: From Prophets to Pimps the next day. Hungry, me and two sisters decided to sneak off from the group and grab a bite. This is me posing with the daughter of one of the sisters with me.
This picture is significant because it is at this dinner that I explained my vision for my next book, Nora’s story. The ladies were encouraging as we discussed our thoughts on The Harlem Renaissance movement and the ideas for the book. I wanted to create an environment where the character would, literally, interact with history. What if you were seventeen years old and had the chance to be in the presence of such persons as Langston…
The PBS Blog 