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I see you breathing and believing and filled with emotion and background and circumstances. I see you angry and frustrated and happy. I see you succeed and fail, fall and stand up. I see you in need of inspiration and encouragement and it encourages me to provide that serenity as best I can on this blog, as an individual. I also appreciate the encouragement many of you give on your blogs. For the most part I’m that person nodding my head in agreement (or shaking my head) and walking away. If I like your post its not because I’m a robot programmed to do so. It means I really liked your post! Some of you are awkward though. I see you coming into class with tilted glasses and pocket protectors. Some of you are loud and outspoken, others are quiet and reserved. Some of you are wild and passionate about that wildness. That’s your business. Some of you are super smart and can’t really hold a decent conversation without going over someone’s head. Some of you take off people’s heads. Some of you are a lot simpler. You walk into the door ready to listen and engage. Some of you come in popping bubble gum and rolling your eyes. You don’t really wanna hear what this woman is talking about again but you can’t stop showing up either.
I didn’t intend on writing much today. But I came across a very interesting post by my girl Linda G. Hill: Your WordPress Audience. In this post, Linda posed an exciting question: How do you see your WordPress followers? Are they friends? Are they followers? Are they individuals? What if you could get your followers into one room and stand before them and write your post for them? That post inspired this one. For Linda’s post, Click Here.
I think it’s about personifying your post, about making sure that you insert your personality into your writing; finding that balance between personal and too personal. Never sacrificing your stand but just being real with people. I think this is important so that we can better connect with others. Linda’s post made me think about that, and why I see my subscribers as everyday people like me. This is why I wanted to express my thoughts about the post on this blog in front of all of you. I think it’s a very good topic of discussion and it’s a great way to look at your blog. I know a lot of us would see things differently if we were in front of each other than behind a keyboard. Makes you ponder the question: Who’s being real?
We are bloggers, people who have decided that a particular blog was interesting enough to subscribe to. (As a quick side note, I say subscribe and not follow because everyone “following” your blog is not necessarily following your blog. Instead, I like to think of it as people who decide to subscribe to receive your post in their emails or in their readers. And although I do have something called “Audience participation” I see each of you more as individuals) For those of us who have trusted that blog enough to take off our shoes (please don’t leave footprints on the carpet, thanks) and sit down and leave a comment at the table, or to like once or twice, it is obviously easier to get to know those people, and they become much more than just a subscriber we never hear from. But they become associates. And maybe even friends. I say friends slowly and loosely. Everyone is not your friend, that’s just real and it’s an important thing to know when interacting online.
But in any event, how do I see you?
Well, like I said, I see you breathing and believing and filled with emotion and background and circumstances like every day people. I wouldn’t say that I am standing before podiums and stages. I stand instead before you a woman. You walk into my place and we pull up chairs and gather together close like a writing group. I offer you beverages and snacks because I love to eat and I’m sure you do too. And depending on the atmosphere, we may even have a little wine. I only require that everyone has their writing brains turned on and their utensils ready to begin. Together, we nestle ourselves shoulder to shoulder, pencil, pad, smartphone or laptop in hand and we share. Our blogs collaborate and we are not just bloggers anymore but this is brick and mortar. Somewhere someone has built a time machine that takes you to this place as instantly as an email and together we meet eye to eye and I face you with my thoughts. There is a moment of silence as you listen and you read and decide how you would perceive the information. Some of you decide to get up and leave and never come back. Some of you scribble little notes on pieces of paper and place them into a drop box. Some of you speak, openly and candidly, you match your experience with mine. Some of you nod your head, and it is my hope that we can build. I picture us laughing and joking and learning and who knows where we’ll end up. Someone somewhere will get so upset that they storm out of the room. Some of you will cry because you can. Some of you will engage me in thought provoking and in depth conversation and who knows how long we’ll sit there.
And at the end we all give our goodbye greetings and there’s a sign-up sheet. Will your name be among those who will return? I wonder.
On the other hand, how about you? How do you see yourself as a blogger if you had to sit face to face with your subscribers? Would things be different? Would you be more or less nervous? Would you be the same person offline as you are online?
Very true. It is easier to teach others when they know that you have been where they are. Always remember the days when you didn’t know. Let each one, teach one. Have a wonderful weekend people. 🙂
“The world has enough women who know how to be smart. It needs women who are willing to be simple. The world has enough women who know how to be brilliant. It needs some who will be brave. The world has enough women who are popular. It needs more who are pure. We need women, and men, too, who would rather be morally right than socially correct.”
― Former U.S. Senate Chaplain Peter Marshall, 1940’s
Is a collection of poems and inspirational quotes that focuses on womanhood. Scheduled for release at the end of this month, this book combines poetry with the strength of true womanhood. It will also feature an audio book of a selection of pieces. It will be available as an e-book as well as in print. I will also present opportunities for free copies to be given in exchange for a review. Details on that coming soon.
From Girlhood to Womanhood
When I got my first menstrual cycle at thirteen, I remember everyone being very excited. I remember them hugging me and explaining things I did not wholly understand. I was not very excited, but they were. This was obviously a very important part of my life that the adult women before me had apparently made clear. “Why was everyone so happy about this?” I thought.
Today, the menstrual cycle is no longer symbolic of the great “Welcome to Womanhood” or “Rite of Passage” as it once was. Women are not excited to speak about it. They may feel it exposes the “nastiness” of too much information. And in most extreme cases, many young women do not understand what it is. What has degraded a woman’s transition from girlhood to womanhood? We do know one thing for sure: the maturity of a young woman’s mind yesterday as compared to today. It seems that at some point in our history, the growth of our little girls, especially within the black community, has depended so much on the shape of the body, that it has stumped mental growth. Young women walk around here today and they think turning eighteen or twenty-one automatically gives them a right to womanhood, although the cultivation of their mind is stuck in childhood. Many of them do not understand that womanhood is not just the outer appearance of what makes up a female. It is not breast, booty, vagina and hips, and it does not arrive necessarily with age. Though with age comes wisdom, not everyone who is of age is wise, and as such not even age itself can alone define womanhood. For this reason we cannot assume, for today’s woman, that her womanhood began the moment she bled her first menstrual cycle.
Yea yea, I took the easy route this week. I snagged this picture from Google lol. I do have a loaded schedule, but I did not want to miss out on one of my favorite weekly activities, Writer’s Quote Wednesday. I titled today’s quote teaching, but it is not the kind of teaching you may think. I titled this post Teaching from the perspective that you are the teacher of how other people treat you:
In truth, people will take advantage of you. You don’t have to do anything to deserve it. You can be the nicest, sweetest person in the world and still suffer this fate. This is not an endeavor any of us can escape. At some point in our lives and without our permission, someone somewhere will take from us. What they take varies. But in some point in your life you will come across those who do not have the same level of appreciation for who you are. Now, this is, in my opinion, two fold. On the one end, no matter what you do or say and how you say it, you cannot control how others see you. That’s their business and theirs to deal with.
On the other hand, what you allow in your space is a personal responsibility. Whereas we cannot control how people see us and whether or not they choose to appreciate what they see, we can however control our reactions. You have the right to let people know for example, when they have offended you. It does not mean your level of love has diminished or that you are enemies with the offender, it’s just that you are teaching this person who YOU are. Many of the people who will hurt and offend you first are those who will possibly be among your best friends. That’s because they have gone through the course of getting to know you, in which case you have taught them.
“Don’t misinterpret your lyrics, expect some criticism. That’s a part of the gift, so I gladly accept it. You don’t have to agree, but you gotta respect it.”
No one should have to be mistreated. But while that fault is on the person doing the mistreating, the victim (of sorts) still has to bear a portion of that responsibility, and he or she does not have to be mean or loud and obnoxious to do it. Kindly and gracefully you can teach people what you will and will not accept.
We cannot control others views of us, but we do have the right to intervene any situation that causes someone to bring that negative energy into our space. We do this by what we allow, what we stop, and what we reinforce.
Don’t forget to check out Writer’s Quote Wednesday every Wednesday, hosted by Silver Threading.
As many of you already know, I also happen to be a twin. So naturally, I was drawn to this story. Racial identity also happens to be the central theme of the short story series (Stella Trilogy) I’m writing, each part surrounding a person’s search for identity, knit together by the same blood. Book #1: Between Slavery & Freedom is available now on Amazon, B&N, Kobo, Lulu, iBookstore, etch. In the meantime, check out this article.
MSN News Article:
“There’s a set of biracial twins in the UK who are turning heads because one is black and the other is white.” That’s how the New York Post introduced a profile of Lucy and Maria Aylmer, 18-year-olds whose father identifies as white and whose mother is “half-Jamaican” (and, we’re to assume, thinks of herself as black).
It’s just the most recent story of fraternal twins born with such dramatic variations in complexion they’re seen by many — and even see themselves — as members of two different racial groups.
Each of these situations and their accompanying striking images, is a reminder of how fluid and subjective the racial categories we’re all familiar with are.
Lucy and Maria’s story, and all the other sensational tales in the ” Black and White Twins: born a minute apart” vein are actually just overblown reports on siblings who, because of normal genetic variations that show up in more striking ways in their cases, have different complexions.
But they’re fascinating because they highlight just how flimsy and open to interpretation the racial categories we use in the US and around the world are.
Even the Post’s description of the Aylmer twins is clumsy, asserting that they’re each “biracial,” but stating in the very same sentence that one is white and the other is black.
And the fact that the two, despite having the same parents, see themselves as belonging to two different racial groups ( “I am white and Maria is black,” Lucy told the Post) proves that there’s a lot more than biology or heritage informing racial identity.
It’s a reminder that the racial categories we use are fickle, flexible, open to interpretation, and have just as many exceptions as they do rules when it comes to their criteria for membership— that’s why they have been described as “not real,” meaning:
Of course, none of this changes the fact that the concept of race is hugely important in our lives, in the United States, in the UK where the twins live, and around the world.
There’s no question that the way people categorize Lucy and Maria, and the way they think of themselves, will affect their lives.
That’s because, even though race is highly subjective, racism and discrimination based on what people believe about race are very real. The racial categories to which we’re assigned, based on how we look to others or how we identify, can determine real-life experiences, inspire hate, drive political outcomes, and make the difference between life and death.
But it’s still important to remember that these consequences are a result of human-created racial categories that are based on shaky reasoning and shady motivations. This makes the borders of the various groups impossible to pin down — as the “black and white” twins demonstrate — and renders modern debates about how particular people should identify, futile.”
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