In 1968, a year after the release of the film Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, about a black man who wanted to marry a white woman, a Poll revealed that just 20 percent of Americans thought it was OK for a white person to marry a black person. According to a recent 2011 Gallup Poll, 96 percent of African-Americans and 84 percent of whites accept the idea. Today, as of 2015, the subject of Interracial Relationships is still Taboo.
Are you in an Interracial Relationship? Would you mind being interviewed for a chance to share your story? You never know who you may touch with your experience. Join me in my Interracial Blog Feature Coming this Fall.
I absolutely love to travel, especially when it comes to the open road. Flying is cool, buses are not all that, and trains are OK but driving is where it’s at. There is a tranquil about the pavement that sets the stage for good thinking. And what do you ask comes from good thinking? You got it, good writing! When my husband and I started out we drove everywhere and it is the image I always have in my head of a road trip. Hubby behind the wheel, me riding shot gun, snacks keeping the back seat warm and old school music taking us back from the radio. With Marvin Gaye and Luther’s help there was never a dull moment and the conversations we’ll have came directly from the heart, giving us each a better understanding of the other. We’ll laugh and come up with funny dances you can only do in the car (hubby has this hilarious rolling the window down thing) and inside jokes only we knew about.
There is nothing like pulling away from the world and having the space all to yourself for good conversation, so these I also cherished. Let’s not forget Cruises! If there is anything more peaceful than the road it’s a ship, I definitely look forward to that again. In any event, we are attending a conference this week in Houston, and though it’s only four hours away (a good road trip is about 7 hours for us), I am excited to roll on out and taste of the road’s delicacies, notepad and pen in hand. You know, just in case :).
Circa: 2012, me and Hubby on the way to New Orleans to port for our 7 day Cruise
“As far as I’m concerned, if a Black man and woman make marriage work in amerika, they’ve accomplished a miracle. Because everything is against them. Just being poor is one of the biggest obstacles. Most of the arguments are about money. It’s hard to be loving and caring when you can’t pay the bills and you don’t know where the next dollar is coming from”
– Assata Shakur
This excerpt from Assata’s autobiography is so on point that I had to share it with you. This I do not limit to Black people but all people. Marriage is something I think we take highly for granted. It is one of the oldest institutions in which requires so much work and yet receives so little praise. I just want to take the time to encourage all of my married people, especially my married Black people, since our divorce rates are higher than any ethnic group. As Assata has mentioned, it is a struggle to focus on the love you have with one another when there are so many other distractions surrounding the basics. Trying to live life, fulfill a career, rear the children, pay bills, it all gets cloudy sometimes. But we cannot allow this to damage the beauty of the coming together of man and woman. I have been married for seven years now and we’ve been together eight total. One of the things we love to do together (aside from travel) is movie night. It started as something sporadic and has now become a tradition. Now movie night is every night! Lol. It gives us the opportunity to enjoy each others company after a long day with life. When we come into the door and we finish our dinner and all the miscellaneous things in preparation for the next day; when the lights dim and the surround sound begins, we try to leave everything else behind us. No smartphone. No internet. No talk about work and bills and blah blah blah, just me and him. It nurtures our relationship in ways that are probably far more impactful than we can realize at this moment. While I still consider myself a newlywed as compared to some of you veterans, I just want to encourage you to find an activity you share with your hubby or wifey that no matter what happens in the world, it does not get in the way of your bond. In the words of Lena Horne “It’s not the load that weighs you down, it’s the way you carry it”. So shift some of that weight, get rid of some even. But find something to do together that makes the whirling world stand still. Be honest and open with each other concerning your flaws and doubts and feelings and allow the love that brought you together to be a kind of therapy within not just your marriage, but in your life. Marriage is work and anyone who tells you different is a liar. It is not easy and sometimes it can be a real struggle. It is for this reason that if you are married and have been for some time, across nationalities, if you are still married, then you are a living miracle. Never underestimate that.
“I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” – ― Pablo Neruda
The best thing about pictures is capturing a single moment. By stopping time in its tracks you freeze not just that moment but also the emotion stamped into it. Not only do you remember what you felt but you also experience that feeling again. Every glance is a blast back to one moment; the second movement was blessed with stillness; light, color, and atoms all bonded together and locked tight into the single shape of laughter, joy, sadness, or a relaxed coolness; giving you the permission to hold time in the palms of your hands, and the miracle of revisiting yesterday if only to feel what you felt again.
This picture was taken almost three years ago, and the history behind it always makes me laugh. Hubby and I had just boarded the Carnival Conquest for a trip to Jamaica, Cozumel, and the Cayman Islands. I wasn’t smiling so hard because of excitement necessarily, but because I was actually not just smiling, I was laughing. These people were worse than paparazzi (not like I live the lifestyle to know what that feels like but I imagine it was something like this). They practically pushed us in front of the camera. Imagine walking down the street… (no, gliding is more like it) yea, gliding down the street encased in your own thoughts. You are somewhere between right now and yesterday and tomorrow; basking in the joy of this moment. Imagining what this week away from the world would be like. At the same time your accounting for the items you carry with you: tickets, card, purse, luggage….smile! Just like that someone snaps a picture, somehow simultaneously pushing you both in front of the camera. A burst of pending excitement is no longer concealed to your inward parts, but is about to give birth to an eruption of butterflies once protected in your stomach and are now visible in the creases of your face. But you’ve got to hold it all together with a pose that won’t look like you’re really rolling on the floor laughing, and will make the most gorgeous couple headlines at the same time.
Physical touch has nothing to do with the kiss of thought…. so may we leave faith heart shaped on each others lips like anxious flesh torn in two, and may our spirits bond like tied knots
The PBS Blog 