I saw this episode once on Tales From The Hood. This little boy came to school with bruises on his body and he said a monster did it. This perplexed his teachers because surely this couldn’t be an actual monster. But the little boy proceeded to insist it was a monster. He drew pictures of this giant green entity with razor sharp teeth and big hands. In the end, we discovered the monster was really his mother’s boyfriend who beat him from time to time. But the little boy never drew him as a person, just as a monster; interesting the perspective of children, the innocence and fragility of their minds. I imagine this is how they see her, a monster. Even though her face looks gentle, her blonde hair pushed back into a pony tail and her petite figure causing no stirs among the neighbors. Then again, I don’t know what it’s like to wake up to a growl like they do. Even if I did, it’s different when you’re a kid and just the slightest increase in tempo rattles your entire body. At best all you need is a look and you are frozen in mother’s authority and your mind is prepared to listen. But a growl? I don’t want to wonder what that’s like. That’s what I wake up to most mornings. At first, I didn’t think the woman had any children. I thought maybe she was cursing out her man. A slew of profanity escaped her mouth like I hadn’t heard since I banished it from my very own vocabulary. I envisioned her entire presence overtook the house. I’d be willing to bet she grows claws and turns green in her spare time. Only to shapeshift back into the harmless little lady we see walking to the bus stop. I don’t understand people who abuse children; it is a most cowardly act. When I discovered my neighbor was ripping the heads off her own children it disgusts me. But it did not disgust me more than actually seeing the babies. I wanted to just cry. They did not have little bruise marks on their bodies like the little boy in the movie. It’s just that they are small children. I would not have guessed someone was speaking this way to children all under ten years old. And then one day, I saw that one of them is in a wheelchair. So you have two very small children and one is disabled. I don’t understand the logic that goes into this kind of behavior. This is why self-love is so important. How can you mistreat what came from your own body, except you have no love for yourself. Without self-love, nothing can be accomplished. We cannot love ourselves, we cannot love our neighbors, and we cannot love those around us. More frightening than our inability to love, we cannot be loved. Self-hatred illuminates. It surrounds you like a plague and can be smelled from a distance. It causes you to act out of character and abuse anyone who tries their hand at loving you. Because you have not given it to yourself, you are unwilling to accept it from anyone else nor are you willing to give it. Be careful the way that you treat your children, they are a reflection of you and they have no shame in keeping it real. If their mouth does not reveal who you are their actions will. It’s funny, I can always tell the true intentions of a person just by looking at the behavior of their children and interestingly enough, the parents never seem to notice. Be careful how you treat your children, whether you notice it or not, their actions reveal who you truly are.
Tag: kindness
The Liebster Blog Award
Special Thanks to Lisa Tetting (again!) for nominating me for The Liebster Blog Award. This is now my 5th Award and I would like to take the time to first say that I accept the nomination. I am always excited to take advantage of the opportunity to reach as many people as I can. My hope is always that I can deliver someone with my words, to impart upon someone something of substance; something that they could use and expand on and to be a part of. While I do not strive to please everyone, I do hope that everyone who has found interest in this blog has been enjoying themselves so far. If not, well…now is not the time to be negative lol.
Here are the Rules:
1. Link the person who nominated you to your blog post and let them know you answered their questions.
2. Answer the 11 questions given to you by the nominator.
3. Nominate other bloggers for the award.
4. Create 11 questions for your nominees to answer.
5. Let the nominees know that they have been nominated by going to their blog and notifying them.
Questions:
1. What is your favorite color?
My favorite color is brown and anything else earth tone in nature, green, beige, orange, tan.
2. Why did you start your blog?
Well I’ve had a couple blogs in the past because I’ve always enjoyed sharing my poetry. But this blog was initially started because I had recently published a book and I thought starting another blog would be a great way to engage people with my writing. I also thought it would be a great way to measure the continual improvement of the skill. To have people to comment and to share their thoughts with me, their perspectives, and to engage in challenges and blog awards is for me such an excellent way to gauge where my writing is going and the kind of messages that truly speaks to the people.
3. What is your favorite place to write?
My favorite place to write is at my kitchen table in the dining room at home next to the window.
4. Name your favorite person in the world and why?
Great question. My favorite person in the world is my husband. The reason I say my husband and not my mother or other close relatives is not to downplay their most excellent influence. I choose my husband because of the close bond that I have with him. He is a man filled with much understanding, much compassion, and much faith. I cannot say for sure if I would have been where I am had I not had him standing here to share in the trials that got me here. He is the other part of my strength.
5. Do you have a pet and if so what?
I do not have a pet but I am currently nagging my husband for a German Shepherd. We used to have a Rottweiler (Hubby’s Fav) but I fell in love with Shepherds because of my neighbor at the workplace. She works in a pool and spa place next door to our community center and recently acquired a puppy I have literally watched grow before my eyes. Extremely adorable, no joke.
6. Who is your favorite writer?
Funny I was just thinking about this. I love Terry McMillan and Toni Morrison’s books because they are such visual writers. I love the use of the poetic language and symbolism usually incorporated into their novels.
7. Who is your favorite singer?
My favorite singer is…I’m not sure that I have a favorite exactly. My taste in music kinda wanders over a large range of folks, some of which whose names I don’t know off hand but whose music I love. But I do enjoy some Stephanie Mills, some Whitney Houston, lil bit of Stevie Wonder, Anthony Hamilton, Toni Braxton, Sade, Bob Marley.
8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Chocolate
9. If you could be anything in the world what would you be?
If I could be anything in the world I would probably be a butterfly if given the chance to turn into anything any second. A butterfly so that I can travel the world quickly and deliver words to as many people as is possible in my lifetime. I would just say a bird but if I’m a butterfly I can be beautiful too, yesss.
10. What is your super power?
My Super-Power is probably Endurance. I’ve been through a lot in the short time that I have lived but I have not lost hope of everything good.
11. Where is your favorite place to vacation?
Jamaica. Though I’ve only been there once I had an amazing time and my husband and I are dying to go again.
I now nominate the following blogs for The Liebster Blog Award:
Here are Your Questions:
1. Why did you start your blog?
2. What is your favorite city to visit?
3. If there is one post you think best defines your blog, which is it? Post the link too!
4. What’s your favorite color?
5. If there is one thing you’ve learned about blogging that has helped your writing or career, what is it?
6. Other than Writing/Blogging, how best do you like to spend your time?
7. How would you define happiness?
8. Coffee or Tea?
9. What is the one thing that keeps you motivated?
10. What’s your favorite movie and why?
11. If you follow The PBS Blog, what do you like most about it or would like to see more of? 🙂
As an added bonus, since this is my first Liebster award, I just wanted to share a cool definition I looked up that contributed to my choosing of these great blogs:
“It has German origins – the word “liebster” has several definitions: dearest, sweetest, kindest, nicest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, endearing, welcome, and sweetheart.”
And that’s it.
Wow, this post is way longer than I expected lol.
Brutally Honest
There’s a difference between being honest, being brutally honest and how to balance the two. Awhile back I watched a comedy called The Invention of Lying, about a man who lives in a world where everyone tells the truth. It doesn’t matter the other person’s way of thought, their perspective, or take into account their feelings, but everyone is completely and brutally honest about everything; that is until a man decides to lie for the first time and it sparks a kind of revolutionary movement among the people. It seemed that their lives had gotten better with each lie that they told; specks of grey now blossoming with the color of new life. I did not like the movie. To me it painted the picture that a world of honesty and truth is a dull and heartless world in which no one really cares to live. It made it seem like a lie every now and again could help level the amount of truth when the truth is that lies never gave life to anybody. Pleasantville is another movie similar in taste. What these movies and I think most people in general, fail to understand is that it is not lies and rebellion that is the key to this balance, it is being honest versus being brutally honest.
Brutal Honesty is called such for a reason. It is because it is the kind of words that are used to hurt and to wound. It is not that you go through life sugar coating reality or lying to people, but when you have to tell someone the truth about themselves it’s a good idea to sandwich that truth between two soft pieces of bread; it is easier to digest this way. It is not that you do not remain truthful, but you are considerate of other people’s feelings. This is the act of being kind; and also realizing that certain situations do not call for you to respond to them at all. There are so many examples in this movie, The Invention of Lying, where information was needlessly volunteered or offered up and it was hurtful to the hearer. It is expected to be funny and in some ways it was but it wasn’t that funny really. They say you learn something new every day, and in my personal life I am learning to be more kind, and seeking to love better. I am learning that it is not just what you say, but also how you say it. It may not be your intention to hurt others, but you don’t want them to feel that way either.
But don’t get it twisted; this is not to devalue the treasure of truth which always has a tendency to offend those not willing to accept it. This post therefore does not suggest hard love does not exist because some of you just need to be told how it is for what it is and to accept what it is. You need a little push every now and again. You’ve been babysat and coddled and lied to your whole life and for that reason alone any portion of truth will hurt you. You have never felt heartbreak and never known struggle. As such people are always offended at that which they do not and are not willing to accept as the truth. However, there are different avenues at which to distribute this truth. Most of the time when people are brutally honest, when they say something that hurts other people, it is because they simply spoke when there was no need to do so. Learn what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. It is not the honest man who is wiser; it is the honest man who knows when to speak and when not to speak. Knowledge is knowing to be honest. Wisdom is understanding what to say and when to say it.
The PBS Blog 