Everyday People

Group of business people standing in huddle, smilingI see you breathing and believing and filled with emotion and background and circumstances. I see you angry and frustrated and happy. I see you succeed and fail, fall and stand up. I see you in need of inspiration and encouragement and it encourages me to provide that serenity as best I can on this blog, as an individual. I also appreciate the encouragement many of you give on your blogs. For the most part I’m that person nodding my head in agreement (or shaking my head) and walking away. If I like your post its not because I’m a robot programmed to do so. It means I really liked your post! Some of you are awkward though. I see you coming into class with tilted glasses and pocket protectors. Some of you are loud and outspoken, others are quiet and reserved. Some of you are wild and passionate about that wildness. That’s your business. Some of you are super smart and can’t really hold a decent conversation without going over someone’s head. Some of you take off people’s heads. Some of you are a lot simpler. You walk into the door ready to listen and engage. Some of you come in popping bubble gum and rolling your eyes. You don’t really wanna hear what this woman is talking about again but you can’t stop showing up either.

I didn’t intend on writing much today. But I came across a very interesting post by my girl Linda G. Hill: Your WordPress Audience. In this post, Linda posed an exciting question: How do you see your WordPress followers? Are they friends? Are they followers? Are they individuals? What if you could get your followers into one room and stand before them and write your post for them? That post inspired this one. For Linda’s post, Click Here.

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I think it’s about personifying your post, about making sure that you insert your personality into your writing; finding that balance between personal and too personal. Never sacrificing your stand but just being real with people. I think this is important so that we can better connect with others. Linda’s post made me think about that, and why I see my subscribers as everyday people like me. This is why I wanted to express my thoughts about the post on this blog in front of all of you. I think it’s a very good topic of discussion and it’s a great way to look at your blog. I know a lot of us would see things differently if we were in front of each other than behind a keyboard. Makes you ponder the question: Who’s being real?

Group-Recovery-You-Are-Not-AloneWe are bloggers, people who have decided that a particular blog was interesting enough to subscribe to. (As a quick side note, I say subscribe and not follow because everyone “following” your blog is not necessarily following your blog. Instead, I like to think of it as people who decide to subscribe to receive your post in their emails or in their readers. And although I do have something called “Audience participation” I see each of you more as individuals) For those of us who have trusted that blog enough to take off our shoes (please don’t leave footprints on the carpet, thanks) and sit down and leave a comment at the table, or to like once or twice, it is obviously easier to get to know those people, and they become much more than just a subscriber we never hear from. But they become associates. And maybe even friends. I say friends slowly and loosely. Everyone is not your friend, that’s just real and it’s an important thing to know when interacting online.

But in any event, how do I see you?

highres_444803Well, like I said, I see you breathing and believing and filled with emotion and background and circumstances like every day people. I wouldn’t say that I am standing before podiums and stages. I stand instead before you a woman. You walk into my place and we pull up chairs and gather together close like a writing group. I offer you beverages and snacks because I love to eat and I’m sure you do too. And depending on the atmosphere, we may even have a little wine. I only require that everyone has their writing brains turned on and their utensils ready to begin. Together, we nestle ourselves shoulder to shoulder, pencil, pad, smartphone or laptop in hand and we share. Our blogs collaborate and we are not just bloggers anymore but this is brick and mortar. Somewhere someone has built a time machine that takes you to this place as instantly as an email and together we meet eye to eye and I face you with my thoughts. There is a moment of silence as you listen and you read and decide how you would perceive the information. Some of you decide to get up and leave and never come back. Some of you scribble little notes on pieces of paper and place them into a drop box. Some of you speak, openly and candidly, you match your experience with mine. Some of you nod your head, and it is my hope that we can build. I picture us laughing and joking and learning and who knows where we’ll end up. Someone somewhere will get so upset that they storm out of the room. Some of you will cry because you can. Some of you will engage me in thought provoking and in depth conversation and who knows how long we’ll sit there.

And at the end we all give our goodbye greetings and there’s a sign-up sheet. Will your name be among those who will return? I wonder.

On the other hand, how about you? How do you see yourself as a blogger if you had to sit face to face with your subscribers? Would things be different? Would you be more or less nervous? Would you be the same person offline as you are online?

Womanhood Don’t Begin in Menstrual Cycles

Yecheilyah-72dpi-1500x2000-e-bookIs a collection of poems and inspirational quotes that focuses on womanhood. Scheduled for release at the end of this month, this book combines poetry with the strength of true womanhood. It will also feature an audio book of a selection of pieces. It will be available as an e-book as well as in print. I will also present opportunities for free copies to be given in exchange for a review. Details on that coming soon.

From Girlhood to Womanhood

When I got my first menstrual cycle at thirteen, I remember everyone being very excited. I remember them hugging me and explaining things I did not wholly understand. I was not very excited, but they were. This was obviously a very important part of my life that the adult women before me had apparently made clear. “Why was everyone so happy about this?”  I thought.

Today, the menstrual cycle is no longer symbolic of the great “Welcome to Womanhood” or “Rite of Passage” as it once was. Women are not excited to speak about it. They may feel it exposes the “nastiness” of too much information. And in most extreme cases, many young women do not understand what it is. What has degraded a woman’s transition from girlhood to womanhood? We do know one thing for sure: the maturity of a young woman’s mind yesterday as compared to today. It seems that at some point in our history, the growth of our little girls, especially within the black community, has depended so much on the shape of the body, that it has stumped mental growth. Young women walk around here today and they think turning eighteen or twenty-one automatically gives them a right to womanhood, although the cultivation of their mind is stuck in childhood. Many of them do not understand that womanhood is not just the outer appearance of what makes up a female. It is not breast, booty, vagina and hips, and it does not arrive necessarily with age. Though with age comes wisdom, not everyone who is of age is wise, and as such not even age itself can alone define womanhood. For this reason we cannot assume, for today’s woman, that her womanhood began the moment she bled her first menstrual cycle.

Writer’s Quote Wednesday – Teaching

Yea yea, I took the easy route this week. I snagged this picture from Google lol. I do have a loaded schedule, but I did not want to miss out on one of my favorite weekly activities, Writer’s Quote Wednesday.  I titled today’s quote teaching, but it is not the kind of teaching you may think. I titled this post Teaching from the perspective that you are the teacher of how other people treat you:

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In truth, people will take advantage of you. You don’t have to do anything to deserve it. You can be the nicest, sweetest person in the world and still suffer this fate. This is not an endeavor any of us can escape. At some point in our lives and without our permission, someone somewhere will take from us. What they take varies. But in some point in your life you will come across those who do not have the same level of appreciation for who you are. Now, this is, in my opinion,  two fold. On the one end, no matter what you do or say and how you say it, you cannot control how others see you. That’s their business and theirs to deal with.

On the other hand, what you allow in your space is a personal responsibility. Whereas we cannot control how people see us and whether or not they choose to appreciate what they see, we can however control our reactions. You have the right to let people know for example, when they have offended you. It does not mean your level of love has diminished or that you are enemies with the offender, it’s just that you are teaching this person who YOU are. Many of the people who will hurt and offend you first are those who will possibly be among your best friends. That’s because they have gone through the course of getting to know you, in which case you have taught them.

“Don’t misinterpret your lyrics, expect some criticism. That’s a part of the gift, so I gladly accept it. You don’t have to agree, but you gotta respect it.”

No one should have to be mistreated. But while that fault is on the person doing the mistreating, the victim (of sorts) still has to bear a portion of that responsibility, and he or she does not have to be mean or loud and obnoxious to do it. Kindly and gracefully you can teach people what you will and will not accept.

We cannot control others views of us, but we do have the right to intervene any situation that causes someone to bring that negative energy into our space. We do this by what we allow, what we stop, and what we reinforce.

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Don’t forget to check out Writer’s Quote Wednesday every Wednesday, hosted by Silver Threading.

Photography

My beautiful sister Pamela
My beautiful sister Pamela, Photo by EC

Honestly, I can’t teach your ways to anyone, nor do I know much about you. I don’t talk about you a lot either, or cough up revelations about how I came to enjoy the way your eyes capture and then freeze our lives. I do remember however our first real encounter. It was the 11th grade. Mrs. Luno coupled us for the school yearbook, and we walked the hallways of Harper High School like we had been together for years. You wrapped your arms around my neck and let my pupils kiss your face. Together we recorded, froze, and transformed time into memory. We followed Jesse Jackson and Arnie Duncan through interviews and meetings. You even let me choose what to see and hold you in my arms during assemblies, plays, and basketball games. Letting me control the way your body felt in my hands, and in seconds we created images both tangible and symbolic; both real and fantasy. It was the first time I came to appreciate this kind of relationship with technology. We had so much in common: Your shutter and my pupil, your film and my retina, and our capacity to record the past; your memory card, and my brain. I still don’t completely understand you, but goodness, don’t I love holding the camera!

Guest Feature – Touched by an Angel

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We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.

Touched by an Angel – Maya Angelou

Writer’s Quote Wednesday – Love Is

So as I pondered what to present this snowy Wednesday morning (Yea, you heard it right, it’s snowing in Louisiana again in February, insane. Thought I left this in Chicago, but I digress). I decided to switch it up this week with a song. Today’s Writer’s Quote Wednesday is Jah Cure’s Love is:

Love IsThis song is all about the quote:

“Love is the answer for every question”

We walk around here with our Bachelor Degrees and fancy titles. We hold forums on the state of the world. Everything from poverty, to racism, to religion. We cough up varied professional reasons why the world is the way that it is. As a result to these reasons more questions spring from our natural yearning for truth and for understanding. Some of us profit from these dictionary type languages we hold with one another, professed scholars and philosophers. Self-made experts in the field of such and such, and a how-to book that promises to give you the answer to the question of your existence and how to perfect your life. All of this and yet the answer lies in the simplicity, yet depth, of one word: Love.

It is no secret that the physical is a manifestation of the spiritual. And as the snow falls this cool Wednesday morning I am reminded that the hearts of men are just as cold. But love. Love is the heat with the potential to melt the wicked from the foreskins of our hearts, and so that we may feel again. It is the answer to every question, every solution, and every situation that exist. The world has grown cold because the world is void of love. It is the umbilical cord that connects us to our creator and all of creation and yet it is missing from our lives. Indeed, this powdery morning I am reminded that Love, Is.

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Don’t forget to check us out every Wednesday for exciting quotes (and songs!) as part of Writer’s Quote Wednesday, hosted by  Silver Threading.