Welcome back to another episode of No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you do not get to whine, complain, or criticize. Now, if you are new to this blog or new to this segment please visit the first post HERE for more on what this post is all about.
The Four Agreements is one of those books I keep close to me alongside the Bible and Letters to a Young Poet. This agreement is my favorite and has been on my heart even without having anything to do with the book. You will find that you are happier when you don’t take things personally. When you know who you are, you don’t need people to tell you how good you are. When you receive praise, you don’t take that personally by letting it get to your head and start to think more highly of yourself than you should think. There is only one creator, and it’s not you. You understand that you are a vessel used for Yah’s purpose and that everything you are belongs to him.
Most importantly, when people say bad things about you or do not react in the way you expect them to, you don’t take that personally either. You learn to create healthy boundaries that allow you to cut people off who continue to disrespect you but you don’t take it personally. You know whatever they think is a result of their own belief system, opinions, and emotions. When people violate your expectations, whether that’s not calling/texting you back or not responding the way you think they should, you don’t see it as a personal attack on yourself. You’ll learn when people are happier, they respond positively but when people are not happy they respond negatively. And the good thing? That has nothing to do with you.
People who are not happy with their life will not be happy to see you happy and that’s okay. They are on their own journey. They can’t relate to you at this point in their lives. Otherwise, they would respond differently. They would be excited, motivated and charged. Why? Because they have been where you are and they know what it felt like when they had that same joy. But when things are not as joyous in their own life? They will respond differently. That’s okay. This has nothing to do with you. It’s an opinion given to you based on how they are feeling in this moment but you don’t have to accept it. The person is dealing with themselves, not you.
Taking things personally is a selfish act because you make everything about you when that’s not the case. What people do and say is not a reflection of you. It’s a reflection of their own selves.
6 thoughts on “No Whining Wednesday – Take Nothing Personally”
Reblogged this on Campbells World and commented:
I absolutely one-hundred percent agree with this post.
The Four Agreements is a book I’ve read and reread multiple times.
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Thanks Patty 👍
I agree with all you say except for the bit about praise. Saying that people shouldn’t think they’re better than they are can lead to low self-esteem. There’s nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself. You’re terrific in your own way.
Thanks so much for commenting but I disagree with your point on low self-esteem. Not thinking more highly of yourself than you should think does not mean not thinking highly of yourself at all. It just means you are humble. Balance is the key to life. One should love oneself enough to be confident in his/her own ability but humble enough to know there is a power greater than themselves. Thinking too highly of yourself leads to arrogance, narcissism and a lack of care for the needs of others because you start to think you are better than they are. Not thinking more highly of yourself than you should think does not promote low self-esteem. It promotes balance. It is good to feel good about yourself and what you bring to the table but you also have to be careful not to let praise go to your head. That is what I meant and I am sorry if it came across otherwise. Praise is good just as long as we keep a balance.
We may have to agree to disagree. It’s possible to think highly of yourself and still care for others. I’ve done it for years, and I don’t feel like I’m better than anyone else.
I don’t think we are seeing this from the same perspective and that’s okay. My perspective is this: You should think highly of yourself but it is different than thinking more highly of yourself to the extent that you forget the creator, who is greater than we all are as I mentioned in the post.
“For by the grace given to me I ask every one of you not to think of yourself more highly than you should think, rather to think of yourself with sober judgment on the measure of faith that Yah has assigned each of you.” Rom 12:3