Breaking From Tradition Can Be a Good Thing

My big brother Ray, nieces Gigi, Jamie, Brook, and Me

Some families keep their history alive around picnic tables, their roots watered each summer by laughter, shared meals, and stories that stretch back generations.

Mine did not.

On my mother’s side, there were no great migrations back home for a weekend, no sea of matching shirts declaring our kinship, no annual roll call of who had been born, married, or passed on.

I didn’t grow up with the smell of charcoal and cousins’ laughter drifting across a summer lawn, the kind of memory stitched into photo albums and passed down like a family recipe. Family reunions simply weren’t our thing. There were no matching T-shirts, no group photos under a banner.

Cousin Laura, Pam, and Me sitting in the back of this truck like some thugs, lol

The closest I came to that sense of gathering was at Chicago block parties. We’d shut down the street, our banquet hall, line the sidewalks with tables and sizzling grills, and open the fire hydrant so the water arched into the air like a silver ribbon. Kids ran barefoot through a cracked-open hydrant, laughing because this time, no one called the police.

Music pulsed from speakers, and for one day, neighbors felt like cousins, and the whole block became family.

But it wasn’t our family.

Six years ago, this ended with our generation.

Jeremiah in the background (Nephew), Big Sissy Pamela, and Lil Cuzzo Angela

What began as a simple backyard barbecue has grown, year after year, into something bigger that we can finally call by its true name: a Family Reunion.

It’s a strange and humbling thing to realize we’re the aunts and unks now—the ones setting the tone, carrying the stories, and shaping the memories for our children.

We’ve rewritten the narrative we inherited.

Many of us are building marriages we’re proud of, raising children under our own roofs, and pursuing careers that light us up. We are not lost to the streets, not numbed by addiction, not absent from the lives we brought into this world.

Aunt Barbara, Lil Reg, and his daughters, Gigi and Brooklyn

Instead, we have passports now. We take our children to see oceans they’ve never touched, mountains they’ve never climbed, cities that speak in languages they’ve never heard. We give them richer experiences, not just with our words but with our lives.

Sometimes, breaking from tradition can be a good thing!

My crazy sisters and me: Yecheilyah, Tracey, Pam, and photo bombed by her daughter, Jamie.

Movie Night Friday – Soul Food

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Welcome back to another segment of Movie Night Friday. Where I present some of my favorite movies and why I love them.

Today I would like to discuss Soul Food, one of my favorite movies.

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Soul Food is a movie about one family and their ability to stay a family through their willingness to endure all of the trial and tribulations that befall them. Told from the perspective of 11-year-old Ahmad, the Chicago family creates a bond around the Sunday “Soul Food” dinners they have every Sunday. Documented to have been coined in 1964 when blacks exercised self-awareness concerning themselves and “Soul” and “Black Power” got popular, there are a lot of misconceptions concerning Soul Food. The assumption is that the essential ingredient is pork and that deep-fat frying is its ultimate technique. It is assumed that the food must be dangerously unhealthy (I have to agree with Huey on the Boondocks. How they gonna go back to eating the same food that gave Big Mama diabetes tho) and is even mentioned in the movie that because we didn’t have anything else to eat in slavery we made meals of whatever we were given and that this is soul food. While it is true that blacks during slavery had little to nothing to eat, Soul Food got its name, not necessarily because of slavery, but because of how it brought black families and communities together which predates the institution of chattel slavery. African Americans have always been a communal people and food has always been an art form. Even if it wasn’t called Soul Food specifically, “Soul Food” is a tradition that go back for centuries.

I still remember when I watched this for the first time back in ’97 or ’98 and it was the ideal family I imagined we have all wanted and if we had, something that we have all cherished. However, it is always easy to be there for one another during the good times, but what about when tragedy strikes? Multiple tragedies?

Can the Joseph family endure the ultimate challenge of betrayal, hurt, and Big Mama’s failing health? Does a family, who is knit together seemingly through the strength of one person, have what it takes to stay once that person is gone?

As is obvious, this became my favorite because of the family bond and the unity of love they had for one another. I wouldn’t say that I watch it over and over again or anything, but it is a good throwback classic.

MV5BMTQ4MTQ3NDcyNV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjgwMzkyMQ@@._V1_SY317_CR10,0,214,317_AL_ Soul Food was eventually spent off into a TV series.

Trailer:

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Is Soul Food among one of your favs? Why do you love it?