Staying Humble

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Humility is not something that someone does once, but that one must strive to maintain if it is to be a consistent part of that individual’s life. As I thought of this, I also thought on how arrogance is not always boastful or typical of what we commonly associate with pride. There are many subtle ways to which a person can display a characteristic of pride.

Humility – a modest or low view of one’s own importance; humbleness

Assumption

It is a mistake to assume that people do not know what you know, or that they are any less intelligent than you are. Even if you are wise, remember that even a fool is considered wise when he just stops talking. I am sure we all have our own stories concerning people who were surprised to discover that we knew more than what was perceived by way of our silence or decision to withhold certain information. Assumptions cover a lot of ground as they are always based on preconceived notions and unanswered questions. It is always best to communicate with others to learn more about them, than it is to assume something about them. It may seem odd at first, but asking questions is a good thing because it helps us to understand and to get to know the individual.

Acceptance

This is a tricky one and comes through very subtly. At any time in our lives where we fight against acceptance, then we exhibit a form of pride. We must understand that stepping stones exist for a reason; they are bridges to the next level of our growth and for that we may not understand it when we first encounter it, whatever it may be. People who struggle with acceptance also have a habit of disagreeing with every single thing. This too is a form of pride. The person may not realize it, but they are expressing a form of arrogance. Why is it that you have something to say about every thing? How is it that everyone is wrong but you? That person needs to sit back and ask themselves why.

The thing to remember is that all is not meant to be understood in the moment, but to be accepted. In the words of Rainer Maria Rilke, “Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them.” Sometimes we are not in a place in our lives to understand, no more than a five year old understands how to safely handle a weapon, and for that we must accept the place we are in now until we can grow into the person who could. “At present you need to live the questions. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer.” (Rainer Maria Rilke)

Asking

No, begging is different. But seriously, being afraid to ask for help is another subtle form of pride. It stems from our fear that others will either judge us or think that we do not know something. But you know what? So what! So what if you don’t know? No one knows everything and everyone has something to learn from someone. If you are afraid to ask for help when you need it, now is a good time to ask yourself why. Why does it matter how others perceive you? People talk a lot about keeping it real but being afraid to admit our wrongs, or our mistakes, or ask for help is not being real. That’s being fake.

Contentment

This one is like acceptance. Once you’ve accepted what is, then you can just be. Another subtlety, people who are not content express a form of arrogance. What you’re essentially saying is that what you have is not enough. I’ve learned that discontent is also a triplet, she has two identical sisters who accompany her everywhere that she goes. Now, I actually have a twin sister and though we look alike, we are also very different. For that, discontent has two twin sisters and although they can be very different, they are also very connected. Their names are covetousness and complaint.

When you’re not content in your present situation, you can be sure that a lot of complaining will accompany it and leading you to ultimately covet what you do not have. However, I’ve also learned that contentment is like this undercover miracle worker. When you are truly content in your life, all worry, stress, and depression leave you. I know that many of you are off on weekends and especially on Sundays.  Just take some time today and embrace the stillness, and to practice being content in all that you have.

Contentment #MayChallengeDay22

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Contentment is defined as the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind.

It’s so easy to be down, to be depressed, and to be so very unappreciative of this moment. So easy to worry about what bill needs to be paid next, what the work schedule is looking like for this week (even though this week has not come yet), what the children are going to wear to school (even though its Friday night) or how many blog followers I do not have (even though there are people praying for your numbers).

I’ve been doing quite a bit of self-reflection and one thing I’m learning is contentment. I am learning to be content with where I am right now. Right this very minute and it is paying off. There’s a calm, tranquil to my days when I don’t have to bunch so many of them up into one. I take risks because right now may be the only opportunity I have. As the saying goes, it doesn’t matter how many resources you have, if you don’t know how to use them they’ll never be enough. Likewise, it doesn’t matter how many doors open, if you’re too afraid to walk through them it doesn’t matter. It’s not because I know it all (because I don’t). It’s not because I have thousands of followers or get millions of views (because I don’t), and it’s most certainly not because I don’t make mistakes (I make plenty). It’s not because I don’t have down moments. It’s because I have this moment. This one right here and there’s no telling if I’ll have another one. In this fast paced world of ours, we tend to worry about tomorrow as if it’s promised. We don’t have the time to appreciate where we are because we’re usually focused on the next place. Even in typical conversation we do not listen to understand, we listen to reply. We hear words and we subconsciously search for the ones that will trigger a response in us. Listening. It is a lost art. We hear a lot, but rarely do we understand what we hear and it is because we are not content with being still. I’ll bet there’s a lot going on around you right now, even if you are sitting alone. I’ll bet there’s a lot that you haven’t noticed, even in a small room. You’ve been in that house for years and rarely have you noticed the bird on your windowsill and seldom do you hear his singing. We have to learn to be content with where we are in our lives. Not in the sense of laziness or the unwillingness to work or to change, but content as in appreciating the moment for what it is without constantly thinking about the next. Today is not Monday and you are not at work so stop thinking about that. It’s a nice day out today, take a walk, or take the children to the park. Homework is tomorrow but tomorrow is not here yet. Focus on today.

Taking Advantage of Your Blog Pages

Tidying up the place today made me think about how important it is to produce content that is valuable to our blogs while maintaining integrity. Instead of constantly producing what doesn’t seem to be doing well, why not take advantage of Pages? Pages make it possible to store away content in a permanent capacity without completely doing away with it. A series or routine post that no one seems to really care about can be fun but it can also weaken your blog if its not helping to strengthen it. By weaken I’m not really talking about your numbers because numbers can be deceiving. I’m talking about your ability to reach people.

I have a brother who is really big on this. If he has something that is not working for him he doesn’t see a reason to hold onto it. What’s a $1,000 computer worth that can’t produce? At the same time, bloggers still need to feel good about what they’re posting without worrying about who cares because self motivation is what will keep them writing. As a result, we bloggers have to create a balance between content that is engaging and content that is genuine concerning who we are as individuals. Despite what others think, we must never sacrifice or compromise our individual selves. So, how do you keep on with what’s important to you but that doesn’t seem to be engaging to your readers? Pages my friends is the answer to our prayers. Don’t give up on it, store it to a page.

In this way, you can monitor how many people are still engaging by looking at that page’s views in your dashboard and from there you can make the decision as to whether it is logical to bring back or if it should stay where it is. For instance, I am taking my own advice with Movie Night Friday.

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Movie Night Friday was a weekly segment of my blog I created to help shine light on some of my favorite movies and why I love them. The inspiration came from my attempt to connect more with bloggers by sharing some more intimate parts of myself aside from books. However I recently withdrew from posting the series because I’m the kind of individual who seeks to improve and to grow. That said, because Movie Night Friday was not producing any growth to this blog, I have decided to store it away to its own page. In this way, those of you who are interested can still find it. I may still post a movie randomly so I won’t say you’ve seen the end of Movie Night Friday, it just won’t be an every week type thing.

I am however, contemplating bringing Black History Fun Fact Friday back, which I also moved to its own page for a different reason. Black History Fun Fact Friday was fun and enlightening but it also became taxing. I have not been able to keep up with it and I really hate to half do anything. But since I’ve re-arranged my schedule a bit I am contemplating bringing it back since it is something I know you enjoyed.

Having a page for Black History Fun Fact Friday has helped me to keep my eye on whether or not people are actually visiting the page. As a result, I have noticed that the page has picked up some views and I am now contemplating bringing it back to fill my Friday Night slot. So take advantage of your pages. They are not just for your about page, but they can be utilized in lots of creative ways. Just something to think about.

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Why

…does man determine his self-worth by his career or financial situation? Is it really necessary to introduce yourself as a doctor outside of the office? Is it worth it to continue to remind everyone that your a writer with every post? Or does not the post itself justification enough? We all have bills to pay true, but perhaps if our self-worth wasn’t so wrapped up in titles and prestige we can enjoy life better and we won’t be so depressed all of the time. My books may sell and they may not but that’s the experience and I am in love with that process. You see we get so confused about life because everything is out of context, we have forgotten those things that are really important. When it’s hot we’re complaining that it’s too hot. When it’s cold we start complaining that it’s too cold. When it rains we are mad that it’s raining but when there’s a drought we curse the sky.

It is necessary to enjoy the sun rays instead of complain about how hot it is outside.

It is necessary to appreciate the stillness instead of complain about being bored.

It is necessary to love the fruit of the womb instead of complain about how bad your children are. Or have you not stopped to discern that some people cannot have them?

It is necessary to love the man or woman in your life if you have one.

In short, it is always necessary to pay attention to how you spend your time, for it will soon be just a memory.