No Whining Wednesday – Commitment and Consistency

Welcome back to No Whining Wednesday! It’s been a loonnnggg time!

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If you are new to this blog or new to this segment please check out our first NWW post here to learn more about what this is all about.

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Guys, we missed our first year anniversary!

No Whining Wednesday was started on January 4, 2017 and we managed to publish a whooping 22 episodes by years end. Who hoo!

Today’s inspiring quote:

“Ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship.  Without commitment you’ll never start and without consistency, you’ll never finish.”

– Denzel Washington

This segment is all about reducing our stress levels by not worrying for an entire 24 hour period and Denzel’s quote is just what I needed. I have not been updating this blog as much as usual because I’ve been focusing on getting out of my comfort zone and today, I encourage you to get uncomfortable and to use it to  help you to decrease your stress levels. Here’s an example of what I am doing today:

For this entire day, I’ve committed myself to not using my cell phone or social media (except for blogging). This means I won’t be sharing this post on social media until the sun sets my time (USA, EST). It also means it’ll take me a tad longer to respond to your comments since I won’t be using the super convenient WordPress app. I am doing this in an attempt to commit to something and to remain consistent with it. Sometimes we can be in a good mood but that mood may easily become affected by the mood of someone else. Complaining is contagious. When someone else does it we often feel the need to do it too.

Them: “Man, it’s too cold outside.”
You: “I know right. It is cold. Hope it warms up soon.”

You may not have realized it but you’ve just joined in with someone else complaint. It’s subtle but it’s there. You are both complaining about how cold it is outside, though you do both have a warm place to lay your head at night.

Complaining has become such an integral part of our lives that we do it without noticing. This means we worry or stress as a normal part of our everyday lives.

Today, commit to something that will help you not to worry so much and try to be consistent with it. It can be reading, writing, walking, exercising, anything that will help you to focus on the good and not the bad.


Yecheilyah is an author, blogger and poet. Be sure to pick up your copy of I am Soul, her latest collection of poetry on Amazon.

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No Whining Wednesday – Don’t Drown Your Own Voice

Welcome back to another No Whining Wednesday! If this is your first time visiting this blog or if you are new to this segment, please visit the original No Whining Wednesday post HERE to learn more OR the No Whining Wednesday Page to access all previous episodes.

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“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Those who screw up and keep going have failed so many times that they are equipped to handle disappointment and therefore have the maturity and resilience to get back up and try again. You got this.”

– Yecheilyah

This was an inspirational word I posted to my social media early this week. I love quotes, inspirational, motivational and overall uplifting. There is something about the power of a positive word that can make you feel like you can conquer the world. When someone compliments you or gives you that good advice, something in your heart flutters and for a moment, all is right. This feeling may only last a second but in that time, all is right in the world. Or at least, in your world. This is so vital and so needed because there are not a lot of people investing good into the world. There are not a lot of people building up.

But, despite how much I love inspiring quotes and how much I read them, something struck me this week. While inspirational quotes from others is nice, there’s nothing wrong with using our own words to inspire others as well. Your experiences are unique to you. Your pain is unique to you. Your happiness is unique to you. Your life is your own. That is not to say there’s no power higher than you (ya’ll know better) but you have to walk these shoes is what I am saying. You have to plant these seeds.

That said, don’t sleep on yourself. You have the wisdom that comes from living and with that something to offer the world but if you never allow your voice to be heard, it can be drowned out by the voices of others.

What if I don’t know enough?

That has nothing to do with it. You don’t have to be perfect to share something that may help others. Personally, I am moved by realness. I want to know about real life situations because your struggles and how you overcome them is what connects you with other human beings. People who talk about their issues and how they’re dealing relate more to others than those who are somewhere in heaven.

Instead of relying so much on the words of others, sometimes it’s OK to give of our own pearls.

Every now and again, use the power of your own experience to inspire others and to lift yourself up. After all, it is what the people we quote have done themselves. They didn’t speak thinking we would quote them. They spoke because it was necessary and now their words have lived on throughout the centuries.

No Whining Wednesday – Expect What You Cannot See

It’s been a minute since we’ve had a No Whining Wednesday, where we do not complain, whine or criticize for a 24 hour period.

If this is your first NWW be sure to CLICK HERE to learn more about this segment. For the rest of you, welcome back!

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We hold onto hope with shaking hands and weak hearts. It is something we fall back on in times of desperation and fear. We cry out loud for it, searching for solutions to our problems when there’s nothing left to do but wait. When things are out of our hands and we are no longer in control then, and only then, do we hope because there’s nothing left to do.

It is time for an upgrade.

Expect What You Cannot See

Hope by definition is the substance of what is expected, the proof of what we cannot see. To strengthen expectation is to begin to expect things to happen that is not yet foreseeable. To build in hope is to start to look at life, not through the lens of what is not here, but what is yet to come.

It may seem impossible that you will be relieved of Child Support or that you will get out of prison in time to see your children grow up, that you will find the love of your life or that you will be healed from that disease. It may seem impossible that you can love again after being broken or recover from a traumatic experience. It’s difficult to look at these kinds of situations, many of which we have no control, and expect things to turn out OK. It’s difficult because everything physical says that it will not. Your appeal was denied, your Child Support Payments increased, the doctor says there is no cure and your emotions won’t simmer from heartache.

All the assistance, research, history, and the data is working against you.

But, then, there is hope…

When you can expect things to turn out differently despite all the physical proof that it won’t, this is hope.

When you start to expect what you cannot see. This is hope.

Hope is expecting something to happen that you cannot see is possible but you still expect it. It is, as the saying goes, taking the first step even though you cannot see the whole staircase. You know it leads to a place. You can’t see where it is or what’s up there but you know something’s there. It is when you are willing to be uncomfortable for a time because you expect that things will (despite the “evidence” that it won’t) get better.

To upgrade the hope in your life, you must begin to expect what you cannot see.

When you change your perspective, the way you see things and the way you think about them, your entire life will begin to change.

No Whining Wednesday – Control Your Thoughts

Welcome back to another edition of No Whining Wednesday where you do not get to whine, criticize, or complain for this entire day. If you are new to this blog or new to this segment, please go HERE to learn more about what this is all about.

 

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It’s been a while since I’ve done an NWW so although I am traveling this week and preparing to release Renaissance (where did the time go?), I thought it would be nice if we can be reminded not to whine. OK, that’s not entirely true. I also need this! I want to whine about so much today that I decided that if I need a reminder, so do you for we rarely endure different struggles. In essence, we go through the same things, packaged differently. That said, I have the perfect quote for us. It’s something that has been on my mind a lot:

As those of you who have been following this blog for awhile already know (or my email list for that mater) I am big on discipline. I believe it is deeper than inspiration and motivation. I believe that it is deeper because inspiration only lasts a moment. It takes discipline to stretch it and to will ourselves to the next step. It takes discipline to forcefully pull ourselves up. Discipline begins in our thoughts and this is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Not just thinking about but striving to put it into practice. How do I control the things I think about? How do we transform the ways in which we think? More so than the act of complaining is the act of thinking about complaining. If we can stop thinking about certain things, then we can stop stressing over certain things. The discipline to stop making temporary situations a permanent part of our lives by ceasing from making them a part of our thoughts. If we can’t control what we think about, then we can’t control what we do. Today, let us focus less on our actions and more on the thoughts that influence them.

No Whining Wednesday – What this is Really About

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I wasn’t going to post anything today but I thought it would be the perfect time to explain what this segment is really about for those who don’t already know.

Although inspired by Iyanla Vanzant (learn more HERE) this is deeper than her quote. But before talking about what this is about, let’s talk about what this is not about.

This is not about being happy-go-lucky 24/7. That’s not what this is about. It is not about not stressing because stress is a part of life. It’s natural. This is not about not being at war because sometimes you must be. Trying to give people hugs in the time of war is just as dangerous as chopping someone’s head off at a time where all they really need is love.

Now, what is this about? What is ‘No Whining Wednesday’ really about?

This segment is all about control. Every single person has both good and evil inside themselves, and if you think that you don’t then you are just naive.

The evil inside of us however, must be contained. The evil that would rather blow up and pop off to someone, the evil that would rather curse you out, the evil that wants to repay evil for evil, the evil that takes it upon his or herself to exact vengeance, the evil that is without compassion, mercy, and love, we all know this evil and it must be controlled. This evil must be contained. Otherwise, these demons will corrupt your life.

We all have feelings and these feelings get hurt. That’s life. But we have a responsibility to stay committed to being the people we are. The good people we are because everyone has good inside them. For some it’s buried deeper than others but the light is there.

What I am saying is that we have to learn to control those negative emotions even when we feel that it is warranted. I know because I was that uncontrolled person. Cursing like a sailor, fighting and popping off. I was her. So I’m not telling you something I heard or looked up from some motivational speech because motivation is temporary. Inspiration and motivation is fleeting. It’s like the wind. It comes and then it goes and then it is back again. It is great to be inspired but inspiration does not last. Not without discipline. I can only speak for myself when I say that discipline is the most important thing. Discipline and self-control.

Sometimes you are not going to feel like being kind but if you can force yourself to think about the feelings of others before your own then you can will yourself to be kind. Sometimes people will hurt you and you won’t feel like doing nothing. Doing nothing feels weak, fragile, vulnerable, and exposed. But you will also soon realize that this is the strongest person. Sometimes you won’t feel like smiling and nobody’s asking you to do so all the time. I know I don’t. But, if we can forcefully drag ourselves to do it, we’ll be better for it.

No Whining Wednesday is not about being happy 24/7, otherwise there will be a No Whining Sunday through Saturday. What No Whining Wednesday is about is controlling yourself.

I dare you to forcefully drag yourself to do what is right today for no other reason except that it is right.

“That’s one of my principles. It’s another discipline that I encourage myself to employ – to, as much as possible, say the courteous thing, and then be it.”

– Maya Angelou


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No Whining Wednesday – Peace Under Pressure

Welcome back to No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you do not get to whine, criticize, or complain. If you are new to this blog or new to this segment please do scurry on over HERE to learn more about what this is all about.

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I’m excited about today’s inspiring quote so let’s get into it:

I’ve been loving on Ryan’s social media pages. His IG is hilariously funny with writer memes and as soon as I saw this nugget of wisdom I had to feature it for today. Whining, complaining, or criticizing really just comes from one source: Lack of contentment or peace. Whether this is because we are upset, confused or frustrated the point is that somewhere, for whatever reason, we are not content with our present situation and we are not at peace.

How do we overcome these situations? After all, it is not that stress is a bad thing entirely. It exists naturally in everyone for a reason. It is there surely to be helpful to the body in some way. How do we allow it to be what it is without over-stressing ourselves? Learning to identify the good in bad situations is one way.

This series I am writing, for instance, is probably the most challenging project I’ve ever written. There’s so much going on as I am writing these books. Personally, professionally, emotionally, mentally, its hitting me from all directions but I have to keep going.

I have been looking for the silver lining in every situation to help carry me through. The diamond in the ruff, the light in the darkness, the calm in the storm, the peace under the pressure. Here’s an example:

If I get not-so-good feedback on my manuscript, instead of focus all my energy on the negative, I look for something good. Unless the person is just a total (fill in the blank) about it, there’s always something positive that is said among not-so-positive feedback. After licking my internal wounds, I look to find the something good I missed and use it as fuel to keep pushing on.

Find the good and when you find it celebrate it. That’s peace under pressure. Don’t ignore changes that need to be made but celebrate the good as well. Be excited about it! Sorry. I don’t mean to yell, but you understand why I have to.

The good is a light. Take it and let your light shine.

But, dear non-writing readers…

….this is not about manuscripts and writing. I’m using myself as an example but this is about life in general.

The message is:

Celebrate your successes no matter how few or small.

It is not easy and sometimes it is good to vent. Good to let off the steam. The problem is when we do not balance this out with anything good.

See, I don’t want to get on my whole “balance soapbox” here but everything in life must have a balance. I spoke yesterday about being yourself on Social Media but even this is with a certain level of balance. You don’t just want to be all out boring. Or maybe you don’t care about blog stats. That’s cool. I get it, but there’s nothing wrong with paying attention to it sometimes. You don’t have to be obsessed with it, but it is good to know where you are. There’s nothing wrong with monitoring growth.

In life, we just do not balance things out as much as we should. We find ourselves venting too much and letting it rob us of peace. We find ourselves not celebrating the good and not forgiving ourselves for the not-so-good.

Today, we will strive to limit our number of complaints by looking for the good in not-so-good situations.

No Whining Wednesday – Look for Solutions

Welcome back to No Whining Wednesday, the only day of the week where you do not get to whine, criticize, or complain. I missed you all last week! And, I hope you have not been complaining! If you are new to this blog or this segment please check out the first post HERE for more on what this post is all about.

I love the strategy we’re going to talk about today to stop complaining! I didn’t think I would have had the time to get one in today but since I’ll be virtually MIA next week I thought, why not?

Last month, one of our NWW talked about waiting it out. (Read it Here) about being patient when things go astray instead of anxious and frenzied. Today, we’ll use a similar strategy. Except instead of waiting it out, we will look for solutions. It sounds like common sense right? We complain about things that are not going as planned. It seems obvious that the thing to do is to look for a way to solve the problem! Well, this is life and it’s not always this easy. We can never control what kind of day it is going to be because the moment passes quickly.

One minute we are reading a book and the next there’s a thunderstorm that shuts off the electricity. One minute we are happy-go-lucky and the next the feeling of sadness, anger, and frustration overwhelms us. And so we know the challenge of trying to “figure it out” in the midst of chaos. However, if we take from the image above, it makes sense that complaining never solved a problem. It makes us feel good for sure (hey, you gotta get it out sometimes) but overdoing the venting leads to poverty. It literally comes to nothing.

Today, let’s try looking for solutions to those things we complain about and if we are looking for someone to listen, let’s gather the courage to ask! Hey, we’re human and sometimes we complain because we want someone to listen but what if we just reached out? Today, instead of complaining take action.