Tag: self-help

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – In Search of a Salve: Memoir of a Sex Addict by KE Garland

Title: In Search of a Salve: Memoir of a Sex Addict

Author: KE Garland

Publisher: ‎ New Reads Publications

Published: September 26, 2023

Pages: 326

“I was nine years old when I figured out that if I squeezed my legs together hard enough, it would create the most electrifying pulsation, in the general area my mother, her mother, and her mother called our “killa cricket.”

-KE Garland

In Search of a Salve snatches us into the author’s world with the rawness of a Sister Souljah book. Like Winter Santiaga, KE Garland has no sugarcoated, watered-down stories to tell you.

Unlike Winter, Kathy’s story is no fairytale.

The author takes us through the series of tragic incidents that led to her preoccupation with sex, including child-on-child molestation, car accidents, and the death of her adoptive mother. Garland expertly reveals how she utilized sex as a salve for a wound she wasn’t completely aware even existed, leading her down a path of multiple sex partners and abortions.

However, don’t assume this book is about the author’s naughty antics. This memoir stands out because it doesn’t only list regrettable events and bad decisions. What’s important is the linkages between how trauma impacts the body, permeates the mind, and results in addiction.

“I didn’t cheat because I had a vanilla sex life. I cheated to escape the discomfort of trauma.”

-KE Garland

We learn how cognitive therapy helped the author to pay more attention to her thinking and the meaning of key terms like exhibitionism or the urge to show yourself to others in public. These explanations helped me better understand the author’s actions beyond the physical, such as the disconnect that exists when the mother-child bond is broken early in life, resulting in a dysregulated nervous system.

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“No oxytocin. No emotional bonding. No maternal attachment. Emotionally dysregulated….I began life, like most babies, listening for the sound of my mother’s voice and never found it, and I’d never stop longing for her.”

-KE Garland

This book prompted me to have more compassion for the lived experiences of people who struggle with addictions that society has deemed as nothing more than an immoral decision, but that is much more layered. As Garland searched for a salve, I, too, discovered insight into questions about my own trauma, belonging, and motherhood.

“I was motherless and it hurt whenever I didn’t have one to show up for me.”

-KE Garland

KE Garland courageously uses her story as a catalyst for further instruction about not only sex addiction but addiction in general.

In Search of a Salve will break your heart, pierce your soul, and then soothe you with knowledge about sex, trauma, despair, and the root of these behaviors beyond poor life decisions.

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Ratings:

  • Strong Introduction: 5/5
  • Authenticity / Believable: 5/5
  • Organization: 5/5
  • Thought Provoking: 5/5
  • Solid Conclusion: 5/5

Overall: 5/5

It’s Release Day!!

Grab Your Copy of In Search for a Salve Here

In Search of a Salve_Book_Cover

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews is a reputable review service that features writers from all over the world, both traditionally and independently published. We are listed on Kindlepreneur as a top-tier book review blog and Reedsy as one of their vetted active book blogs that provide insightful, excellent book reviews.

*Books are read in the order they are received.

*The Review registry for 2023 is closed.

 

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – Everyday I’m Hustling by Vivica A. Fox

Title: Everyday I’m Hustling

Author: Vivica A. Fox

Publisher: ‎ St. Martin’s Press

Published: April 3, 2018

Pages: 264

There are a few books I come back to a few times a year to savor their wisdom and life lessons. Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Tabitha Brown’s Feeding the Soul, and Vivica A. Fox’s Everyday I’m Hustling are a few.

I met Miss Fox at her 2018 book signing. I am Soul had passed the review board the same year and was approved to be in the same store. We were in the same space, our books on the shelves of Nia Damali’s (aka Mama Nia’s) Medu Bookstore at the Greenbriar Mall in Atlanta.

With Soul Food and Set It Off being two of my favorite movies, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say hi. What I enjoyed most is Fox personality is the same as you see in public and the same voice you read about in her book. She is down to earth, funny, and wants to know how a girl from Chicago ended up with a name like Yecheilyah.

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Everyday I’m Hustling is part memoir, part self-help, and part recipe book. It is filled with life experiences of Fox’s upbringing in Indiana, her acting career, strategies and business advice, and some tea on her relationship with Curtis “50 Cent,” Jackson.

Reading this book feels like sitting down with your Aunt and listening to her tell you life stories while giving advice. “Success does not guarantee the absence of getting your ass kicked,” she says while stirring a pot of Sug’s Crock-Pot Black-Eyed Peas. In true elder fashion, she deviates from the story to give cooking lessons.

You’ll roll your eyes in your head, wanting her to come back to the story. Her recipe pauses are your least favorite part, but then she’ll start talking about bonding with Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett-Smith, and Kimberly Elise off-camera during the Set It Off filming and bring you back. You’ll learn fun tidbits, such as how the line “You didn’t even bother to ask me if I was thirsty, sister,” was an adlib Fox asked to be in the film. She says she wanted there to be at least one sister-to-sister moment.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:

“Don’t let anybody dim the shine of your accomplishments. If they’re not paying your bills, why in the hell would they validate your worth?”

“Don’t overpay to play.”

“You can’t get typecast in life. There is a shelf life for certain chapters in your life. If you learn how to go into each chapter gracefully, then you can extend the longevity of your career.”

“Don’t point out the slips that only you know you made.”

I love this one! It reminds me of what Mr. Tolson (Denzel Washington) said in the movie The Great Debaters (another one of my favorites) when one of his students talked badly about himself. “Would you punch yourself in a street fight” The boy frowns, “No.” Then don’t punch yourself in a word fight,” says Denzel.

You don’t have to constantly bring up your flaws to be seen as valuable. You were born worthy. Stop pointing out slips (flaws) no one knows exist but you.

“I always tell people to educate themselves with real experience.”

“When you are working with someone, you are cobranding, so you have to look at the visibility of that brand.”

This is a good gem since collaboration is a popular word today. It is not wise to collaborate with just anyone. There must be something in it for you too. Does the person or company share your mission, purpose, and goal? Do they have the visibility and connections to help you like you are helping them? It’s a lot of people who just want to look important, but when you investigate further you see they can’t really do anything for you.

“Pitch your niche. It’s not bragging, it’s establishing your credibility.”

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Ratings:

  • Strong Introduction: 4/5
  • Authenticity / Believable: 5/5
  • Organization: 4/5
  • Thought Provoking: 5/5
  • Solid Conclusion: 4/5

Overall: 4/5

Grab Your Copy of Everyday I’m Hustling Today

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To have your book reviewed on this blog apply here. TOMORROW (7/31) IS THE LAST DAY TO REGISTER FOR A BOOK REVIEW!

All books reviewed from this point forward are books I’ve read on my own time or books registered before the deadline!

Stay tuned for our next dope read!

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews is a reputable review service that features writers from all over the world, both traditionally and independently published. We are listed on Kindlepreneur as a top-tier book review blog and Reedsy as one of their vetted active book blogs that provide insightful, excellent book reviews.

*Books are read in the order they are received.

 

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews – Black Coffee by Bree Gordon

Title: Black Coffee: From Empty to Overflowing with Peace, Healing, and Purpose

Author: Bree Gordon

Publisher: ‎ Bree Gordon

Published: February 18, 2020

Pages: 122

Bree Gordon begins her book with frank sincerity and unabashed vulnerability. We learn about her trials and tribulations as her marriage unraveled and her mental health suffered. Gordon utilizes her therapy sessions as the basis for telling the stories of the women who made a difference in her life, and the revelation about who these women are will leave you speechless.

In this book, we meet not just Bree but also Linda, Gia, Reena, and Trina. It’s got that How Stella Got Her Groove Back and Waiting to Exhale vibe.

This book’s layout and packaging are both excellent. Gordon welcomes us with a stunning cover of her enjoying a cup of coffee and then weaves this motif across her chapters. From “Brewing” to “Spilling the Beans,” I like how imaginatively she titled the chapters to enhance the story. It brought the narrative and the title together well.

What truly sets this book apart is the inclusion of therapist notes. It will surely help other women who have had to walk in Gordon’s shoes.

Ratings:

  • Authenticity / Believable: 5/5
  • Organization: 5/5
  • Thought Provoking: 5/5
  • Solid Conclusion: 4/5
  • Overall Rating: 5 / 5 stars

Grab Your Copy of Black Coffee Here

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https://www.breejgordon.com/

To have your book reviewed on this blog apply here. The registry is open UNTIL AUGUST 1ST!

Be sure to apply BEFORE August even if your book releases after if you want a review on this blog.

Stay tuned for our next dope read!

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews is a reputable review service that features writers from all over the world, both traditionally and independently published. We are listed on Kindlepreneur as a top-tier book review blog and Reedsy as one of their vetted active book blogs that provide insightful, excellent book reviews.

*Books are read in the order they are received.

 

Yecheilyah’s Book Reviews: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

Title: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
Author: Mark Manson
Publisher: Harper
Published: September 13, 2016
ASIN: B019MMUA8S
Pages: 212

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“People declare themselves experts, entrepreneurs, inventors, innovators, mavericks, and coaches without any real-life experience…they feel they need to be great to be accepted in a world that broadcasts only the extraordinary.”

– Mark Manson

Quickly: If you are not subscribed to any of my emails, you might not know I have been away recovering from surgery. I am feeling much better and in the physical therapy part of healing. After being in the bed for weeks, my body is begging for movement, so I walk and stretch and all that good stuff. I am still not 100%, but much better than a month ago.

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Anywho, on to this review..

I knew I would like this book when I bought it. Maybe that optimism is what made me enjoy it so much. Or it could be the title, which is hard not to like. And while I don’t review every book I read for leisure, I felt compelled to write about this one.

You might think this is a book about not caring about anything. But it’s actually a book about prioritizing your thoughts effectively so that those things you care about are the most important and not the trivial. Some things are just not worth giving a hoot about. Or darn. Or flip. 

Side Note: Far as cussin, there are a lot of F*cks in this book if you are highly sensitive about that sorta thing. 

Manson’s chief purpose is that humans are flawed and limited, and instead of trying to be positive all the time, we should embrace the struggle and uncertainty in our lives. He asserts it is the “bad” things that happen to us that help us develop the strength and tenacity to keep being great. But we can’t do that if we try to avoid life’s inevitable pitfalls. 

You don’t always have to try and turn lemons into lemonade. Sometimes, you just gotta stomach the lemons and see what it has to teach you.

That’s basically the gist of this book. 

While everyone is trying to appear polished, forever positive, and put together, it’s sharing how we are overcoming the not-so-good things that are actually the most inspiring.

This is not your typical “try to be happy all the time” self-help book. This is a “learn how to become better at handling adversity and not giving a fuck about trivial stuff” book. Manson is funny, witty, and delivers his message straight–no chaser. 

Mark Manson is the man behind Will Smith’s Memoir, which I am also reading and enjoying, and I can tell. I can see why he was the perfect person to work with Will, and I can hear his voice now while reading the book, which I am halfway through. (But not in a way that takes away from Will’s voice. I don’t think that would be possible with his larger-than-life personality.)

If you are looking for something to help you get out of your own way (or if you are enduring a tough time like me and just want to read something real and down-to-earth), different from the cliche messages you see in these internet streets, this is the one.

“The pampering of the modern mind has resulted in a population that feels deserving of something without earning that something, a population that feels they have a right to something without sacrificing for it.” – Mark Manson

Ratings:

Strong Introduction:

There is no Intro, which is part of what I love. Manson jumps right in.

Authenticity / Believable: 5/5

Organization: 5/5

Thought Provoking: 5/5

Solid Conclusion: 5/5

Note: I was not paid for this review. I bought the book, read it on my own time, and these are my thoughts. To have your work reviewed through my paid service, you must register your book here and it must rate 3-5 stars to be published on this blog. Reviews of books I read on my own are published regardless of rating.