Freedom: The Illusion

There’s a strange fruit

hanging from the trees

but not the kind of Billie Holidays days

with

blood all on the leaves

but these

are a different set of trees

and they bear a strange fruit

called ignorance

with an illusion up its sleeve

an illusion so thick

sometimes it’s hard to breathe

I feel like I am in the days

of Dr. Martin Luther King back when

black folks marched and sang songs

and Martin had a dream but,

what exactly was his dream?

I found myself

asking myself

over and over these things

what exactly was his dream?

I thought and so my thoughts led me

to February 1818,

here was born Fredrick Douglas

a man who also had this dream

To not have to work the cotton fields

courtesy of the curses

was his dream see to

not be so dark

so black

this too was his dream and in

1845 he found himself

on the “winning” team.

Tired of hearing screams of being slapped up

he slipped up into a secret society.

Wanting to be a part of this world so badly

he joined the American Anti–Slavery Society

mistakenly joining a secret society

determined

to tear him away

from his own

society

This was his conclusion

Mr. Douglas my friends

got caught up in the illusion.

So being women some of us and

enjoying the company of women the other half of us

our thoughts led us to some women tales

we thought

well most certainly

we can get our answers from Mrs. Ida B. Wells

But as I studied her story in search for this dream

my mind began to drift away

as I saw that she too had this dream

she too had this purpose

she too wanted to escape

the curses

Blinded by a fake reality

she too joined a secret society

also known as the NAACP

created by Jews

but led by intelligent fools

with black skins

who sought to escape the bodies they were in

So

like Douglas

Ida became confused in a world of turmoil

that led her to believe her own confusion

she too was caught up

in this Illusion

but we had to figure out some way

somehow our own existence

our own being

therefore we continued our search

for Martin’s dream

our thoughts destination

had to steer towards education

so take it

it’s yours

this led us to of course,

W.E.B. Dubois.

something about this man caused an excitement

that ran through you and me we

became amazed

and began to admire his level of maturity

when it came to intellectual ability so we thought sure

“Now this man can school me.”

However, with him too my mind became stumped

as I ran across this myth

and

found that my admirer was in favor

of the talented tenth?

To my astonishment

he too had this dream

He too wanted to be on what he thought

was the winning team

(even if it meant only 10% of the winning team)

see because Dubois didn’t understand the curses

he created the crisis

magazine

so as we caught up to Dr. Martin Luther King and we

heard his many speeches singing “I had a dream!”

we too began to lust for this very dream

even if it was not real

all we had to do was feel

feel like we had this dream

even after our depression still lingers

and our arthritis can still be felt in the fingers

and our AIDS rate keeps growing

and our blood stops flowing

even in the midst of the curses

and the confusion

we’d still rather give ear to this Freedom

the illusion.

I am

history_hourglass

I am rotten lettuces on tasteless teeth
twisted letters
filthy rags
spoiled meat
I am hands shaking chills of cold winds seeping a cold soul
in a cold world,
I am a braggadocios body bobbing back and forth, carving bones of a sick skeletal make-up
I am he who has yet to have woken up
I am dry bones
I am the one to whom you’ve thrown stones, and chuckles judged my attempt simply to exist
You bypassed me,
laughing, you joked at my life,
you did not consider I may have been Abraham’s wife
or Rachel’s daughter
may have been your foundation
you did not consider I could have planted in the bowels of a broken being rooted seeds,
you didn’t believe your saliva could have been running down the face of Jacob’s seed
I am proof of your past
I am not first, I am last
But I am not last, I am first
I am broken waters to quench your thirst
I am shattered glass
Chanted songs and free at last
Beautiful earthquakes, hour glass
The materialized substance of your disobedience
I am the gift to your present
I am crumbled potato chip bags curling in the agonizing pain of empty contents
I am dirty walls and street gangs, schools without common sense
spiritual non-sense
I am slavery folded within the pages of ignorance
I am pregnant mothers at 16,
I am dope dealers
Crack fiends
I am cold rods against soft bones
Dripping water stains like ice cream cones, I am your portion
I am Planned Parenthood, I am abortion.
I am poverty, sickness, I am disease
I am the consideration of obedience to reverse this
I am the judgment of sins,
I am The Curses
I am history
I am present, I am future and I am youth
I am both what you desire and what you despise
I am
The truth

Princess

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Didn’t know the whole world was mine…my princess self….

didn’t know bout this crown on my head,

just death and pain till the winds got tired of blowing on me….

said it was time for the branch to be lifting my chin from the ground so lest I could see what the sky looks like…

held me in his arms like orange autumns in September…

fresh air, cool and breezy like.

Diamond in The Ruff

Diamonds on a black background with copy space

I decided to seek strength when pain took it upon herself to become the choir director of humanity

in an anxious quest to play doubt on the strings of our faith she laughs…

coughing up the twisted humor of her bowels you see she knows

that our minds have been twisted by the craftiness of sin still falling from the fingerprints of Eve and  Hiding behind the shame of Adam she knows
The ease to which we are apt to scream we’re not able like the blood of Abel, that at times
our lowliest moments give us in to unbelief like virgins vulnerable to the sensitivity of fleshly skin
Faith giving it up like cracking levees… overflowing with trial & struggle she laughs while you drown in sins pain made you promise to go back to

but you tell pain that we are not bed sheets fitted to the corners of her pride

We are not fools, babbling vain words in her congregation

We are not faithless because of her existence

Tell pain that we wait for her

like crouching tigers with gritted teeth

you tell sorrow that with much wisdom comes much grief

tell her, that we are not children

borne about by every sickness breathed from the viruses she plants in our immune systems 4 we are strong

you tell pain that from her humility is born

like truth when it touched its hands on the insides of Miriam’s womb, the Salvation brought forth from pain

a stake of stabbing wounds
You tell pain that the almighty made sure that everything had its companion

You tell pain…

that Endurance was made for her

The Ultimate Test

Caught in the Storm

“For one human being to love another is perhaps the most difficult task of all, the epitome, the ultimate test. It is that striving for which all other striving is merely preparation.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Interesting quote. When you boil everything down to its genuine purpose, it all seems to come back to love. Mankind prepares itself to understand what love is and how to exhibit that love. I think perhaps imperfection is not being without mistakes, but perhaps, being without love.

 
What if the Ultimate test, the promised land of sacrifice and endurance, is the preparation of ourselves to meet love in its purest form, where in comparison to such esteem that even the sun is but artificial light? Would not our struggles be worth it? The beauty of pure love, it is too much to fathom, “that striving for which all other striving is merely preparation.”

Never Having Been a Girl

This poem is based on a true story. A sista I know  requested I write a poem based on her childhood. And after hearing her testimony, this is the result.

Waiting_by_prettylilly
Silence lingers on every street corner of her heart
surrounded by the sounds of her own heartbeat
the only child
who knew that loneliness could be so loud?
Never remembering ever being a girl
womanhood emerging from her mother’s womb
responsibilities following her home wrapped in soft blankets and warm booties
yet infancy is kicked off too soon
removed
and replaced with scavenger instincts
tearing away at empty cupboards
hope falling asleep like heroine nods
quickly replaced with the tears of a three year old
silence tearing away at the soft eardrums of a toddler’s pride
never remembering ever being a girl
Quick paces of little feet turned nine
gotta get the cigarettes on time
crowded streets
little feet
unknown eyes that are watching me
(at least somebody’s watching me)
careful now these little feet
having never been a girl
Twelve times twelve,
twelve arrives
sadness in mommies cancer eyes
watch him do it and do it right
gotta give the medicine exactly right
the internal cries of that youthful voice (never really having been young)
somebody please tell me,
where is mommies tongue?
gotta carry cause mommies gone
will someone sing her daughters song?
The woman with the pink ribbons in her curls
the woman never having been a girl
Restaurants to wash myself
weed and drinks cause I watch myself
who cares for cute sinks when nothings left
seems like childhood just up and left
me sitting beside myself
empty benches now colored with the stench of my pain
smelly armpits reach out to beg for change
while relatives sit at home and count my change
whose willing to see this woman change?
Never having been a girl
Hustle proved its source of love
where does an instant woman find true love?
inside the arms of an abusive man she seeks her refuge from lazy hands
money giving light to dark places
apartment buildings giving substance to misplacement’s
where
where has it gone? My love? Where’s your part?
where oh where have you hidden my heart?
Numbers fade away like living water upon dirty dishes
this daughter of mine the result of these stitches
Entering the world as if she owns it!
Gotta hope another woman has not entered this world
praying my first child has the chance to at least,
just be
a girl.